imagination　I　beheld　their　figures　receding　while　I　drifted　out　to　sea；
  alone。　　Would　the　tidewhich　was　somehow　within　mecarry　me　out　and
  out；　in　spite　of　all　I　could　do？
  〃Give　me　that　man
  That　is　not　passion's　slave；　and　I　will　wear　him
  In　my　heart's　core。。。。〃
  I　did　not　shirk　my　tasks　at　the　store；　although　I　never　got　over　the
  feeling　that　a　fine　instrument　was　being　employed　where　a　coarser　one
  would　have　done　equally　well。　　There　were　moments　when　I　was　almost
  overcome　by　surges　of　self…commiseration　and　of　impotent　anger：　for
  instance；　I　was　once　driven　out　of　a　shop　by　an　incensed　German　grocer
  whom　I　had　asked　to　settle　a　long…standing　account。　　Yet　the　days　passed；
  the　daily　grind　absorbed　my　energies；　and　when　I　was　not　collecting；　or
  tediously　going　over　the　stock　in　the　dim　recesses　of　the　store；　I　was
  running　errands　in　the　wholesale　district；　treading　the　burning　brick　of
  the　pavements；　dodging　heavy　trucks　and　drays　and　perspiring　clerks　who
  flew　about　with　memorandum　pads　in　their　hands；　or　awaiting　the　pleasure
  of　bank　tellers。　　Save　Harvey；　the　venerable　porter；　I　was　the　last　to
  leave　the　store　in　the　evening；　and　I　always　came　away　with　the　taste　on
  my　palate　of　Breck　and　Company's　mail；　it　being　my　final　duty　to　〃lick〃
  the　whole　of　it　and　deposit　it　in　the　box　at　the　corner。　　The　gum　on　the
  envelopes　tasted　of　winter…green。
  My　Cousin　Robert　was　somewhat　astonished　at　my　application。
  〃We'll　make　a　man　of　you　yet；　Hugh；〃　he　said　to　me　once；　when　I　had
  performed　a　commission　with　unexpected　despatch。。。。
  Business　was　his　all…in…all；　and　he　had　an　undisguised　contempt　for
  higher　education。　　To　send　a　boy　to　college　was；　in　his　opinion；　to　run
  no　inconsiderable　risk　of　ruining　him。　　What　did　they　amount　to　when　they
  came　home；　strutting　like　peacocks；　full　of　fads　and　fancies；　and　much
  too　good　to　associate　with　decent；　hard…working　citizens？　　Nevertheless
  when　autumn　came　and　my　friends　departed　with　eclat　for　the　East；　I　was
  desperate　indeed！　　Even　the　contemplation　of　Robert　Breck　did　not　console
  me；　and　yet　here；　in　truth；　was　a　life　which　might　have　served　me　as　a
  model。　　His　store　was　his　castle；　and　his　reputation　for　integrity　and
  square　dealing　as　wide　as　the　city。　　Often　I　used　to　watch　him　with　a
  certain　envy　as　he　stood　in　the　doorway；　his　hands　in　his　pockets；　and
  greeted　fellow…merchant　and　banker　with　his　genuine　and　dignified
  directness。　　This　man　was　his　own　master。　　They　all　called　him　〃Robert；〃
  and　they　made　it　clear　by　their　manner　that　they　knew　they　were
  addressing　one　who　fulfilled　his　obligations　and　asked　no　favours。
  Crusty　old　Nathaniel　Durrett　once　declared　that　when　you　bought　a　bill　of
  goods　from　Robert　Breck　you　did　not　have　to　check　up　the　invoice　or
  employ　a　chemist。　　Here　was　a　character　to　mould　upon。　　If　my　ambition
  could　but　have　been　bounded　by　Breck　and　Company；　I；　too；　might　have　come
  to　stand　in　that　doorway　content　with　a　tribute　that　was　greater　than
  Caesar's。
  I　had　been　dreading　the　Christmas　holidays；　which　were　indeed　to　be　no
  holidays　for　me。　　And　when　at　length　they　arrived　they　brought　with　them
  from　the　East　certain　heroes　fashionably　clad；　citizens　now　of　a　larger
  world　than　mine。　　These　former　companions　had　become　superior　beings；
  they　could　not　help　showing　it；　and　their　presence　destroyed　the　Balance
  of　Things。　　For　alas；　I　had　not　wholly　abjured　the　feminine　sex　after
  all！　　And　from　being　a　somewhat　important　factor　in　the　lives　of　Ruth
  Hollister　and　other　young　women　I　suddenly　became　of　no　account。　　New
  interests；　new　rivalries　and　loyalties　had　arisen　in　which　I　had　no
  share；　I　must　perforce　busy　myself　with　invoices　of　flour　and　coffee　and
  canned　fruits　while　sleigh　rides　and　coasting　and　skating　expeditions　to
  Blackstone　Lake　followed　one　another　day　after　day；for　the　irony　of
  circumstances　had　decreed　a　winter　uncommonly　cold。　　There　were　evening
  parties；　too；　where　I　felt　like　an　alien；　though　my　friends　were　guilty
  of　no　conscious　neglect；　and　had　I　been　able　to　accept　the　situation
  simply；　I　should　not　have　suffered。
  The　principal　event　of　those　holidays　was　a　play　given　in　the　old
  Hambleton　house　（which　later　became　the　Boyne　Club）；　under　the　direction
  of　the　lively　and　talented　Mrs。　Watling。　　I　was　invited；　indeed；　to
  participate；　but　even　if　I　had　had　the　desire　I　could　not　have　done　so；
  since　the　rehearsals　were　carried　on　in　the　daytime。　　Nancy　was　the
  leading　lady。　　I　have　neglected　to　mention　that　she　too　had　been　away
  almost　continuously　since　our　misunderstanding；　for　the　summer　in　the
  mountains；a　sojourn　recommended　for　her　mother's　health；　and　in　the
  autumn　she　had　somewhat　abruptly　decided　to　go　East　to　boarding…school　at
  Farmington。　　During　the　brief　months　of　her　absence　she　had　marvellously
  acquired　maturity　and　aplomb；　a　worldliness　of　manner　and　a　certain
  frivolity　that　seemed　to　put　those　who　surrounded　her　on　a　lower　plane。
  She　was　only　seventeen；　yet　she　seemed　the　woman　of　thirty　whose　role　she
  played。　　First　there　were　murmurs；　then　sustained　applause。　　I　scarcely
  recognized　her：　she　had　taken　wings　and　soared　far　above　me；　suggesting　a
  sphere　of　power　and　luxury　hitherto　unimagined　and　beyond　the　scope　of
  the　world　to　which　I　belonged。
  Her　triumph　was　genuine。　　When　the　play　was　over　she　was　immediately
  surrounded　by　enthusiastic　admirers　eager　to　congratulate　her；　to　dance
  with　her。　　I　too　would　have　gone　forward；　but　a　sense　of　inadequacy；　of
  unimportance；　of　an　inability　to　cope　with　her；　held　me　back；　and　from　a
  corner　I　watched　her　sweeping　around　the　room；　holding　up　her　train；　and
  leaning　on　the　arm　of　Bob　Lansing；　a　classmate　whom　Ralph　had　brought
  home　from　Harvard。　　Then　it　was　Ralph's　turn：　that　affair　seemed　still　to
  be　going　on。　　My　feelings　were　a　strange　medley　of　despondency　and
  stimulation。。。。
  Our　eyes　met。　　Her　partner　now　was　Ham　Durrett。　　Capriciously　releasing
  him；　she　stood　before　me；
  〃Hugh；　you　haven't　asked　me　to　dance；　or　even　told　me　what　you　thought　of
  the　play。〃
  〃I　thought　it　was　splendid；〃　I　said　lamely。
  Because　she　refrained　from　replying　I　was　farther　than　ever　from
  understanding　her。　　How　was　I　to　divine　what　she　felt？　or　whether　any
  longer　she　felt　at　all？　　Here；　in　this　costume　of　a　woman　of　the　world；
  with　the　string　of　pearls　at　her　neck　to　give　her　the　final　touch　of
  brilliancy；　was　a　strange；　new　creature　who　baffled　and　silenced　me。。。。
  We　had　not　gone　halfway　across　the　room　when　she　halted　abruptly。
  〃I'm　tired；〃　she　exclaimed。　　〃I　don't　feel　like　dancing　just　now；〃　and
  led　the　way　to　the　big；　rose　punch…bowl；　one　of　the　Durretts'　most
  cherished　possessions。　　Glancing　up　at　me　over　the　glass　of　lemonade　I
  had　given　her　she　went　on：　　〃Why　haven't　you　been　to　see　me　since　I　came
  home？　　I've　wanted　to　talk　to　you；　to　hear　how　you　are　getting　along。〃
  Was　she　trying　to　make　amends；　or　reminding　me　in　this　subtle　way　of　the
  cause　of　our　quarrel？　　What　I　was　aware　of　as　I　looked　at　her　was　an
  attitude；　a　vantage　point　apparently　gained　by　contact　with　that
  mysterious　outer　world　which　thus　vicariously　had　laid　its　spell　on　me；
  I　was　tremendously　struck　by　the　thought　that　to　achieve　this　attitude
  meant　emancipation；　invulnerability　against　the　aches　and　pains　which
  otherwise　our　fellow…beings　had　the　power　to　give　us；　mastery　over　life；
  the　ability　to　choose　calmly；　as　from　a　height；　what　were　best　for　one's
  self；　untroubled　by　loves　and　hates。　　Untroubled　by　loves　and　hates！　　At
  that　very　moment；　paradoxically；　I　loved　her　madly；　but　with　a　love　not
  of　the　old　quality；　a　love　that　demanded　a　vantage　point　of　its　own。
  Even　though　she　had　made　an　advanceand　some　elusiveness　in　her　manner
  led　me　to　doubt　it　I　could　not　go　to　her　now。　　I　must　go　as　a　conqueror；
  a　conqueror　in　the　lists　she　herself　had　chosen；　where　the　prize　is
  power。
  〃Oh；　I'm　getting　along　pretty　well；〃　I　said。　　〃At　any　rate；　they　don't
  complain　of　me。〃
  〃Somehow；〃　she　ventured；　〃somehow　it's　hard　to　think　of　you　as　a　business
  man。〃
  I　took　this　for　a　reference　to　the　boast　I　had　made　that　I　would　go　to
  college。
  〃Business　isn't　so　bad　as　it　might　be；〃　I　assured　her。
  〃I　think　a　man　ought　to　go　away　to　college；〃　she　declared；　in　what　seemed
  another　tone。　　〃He　makes　friends；　learns　certain　things；it　gives　him
  finish。　　We　are　very　provincial　here。〃
  Provincial！　　I　did　not　stop　to　reflect　how　recently　she　must　have
  acquired　the　word；　it　summed　up　precisely　the　self…estimate　at　which　I
  had　arrived。　　The　sting　went　deep。　　Before　I　could　think　of　an　effective
  reply　Nancy　was　being　carried　off　by　the　young　man　from　the　East；　who　was
  clearly　infatuated。　　He　was　not　provincial。　　She　smiled　back　at　me
  brightly　over　his　shoulder。。。。　　In　that　instant　were　fused　in　one
  resolution　all　the　discordant　elements　within　me　of　aspiration　and
  discontent。　　It　was　not　so　much　that　I　would　show　Nancy　what　I　intended
  to　doI　would　show　myself；　and　I　felt　a　sudden　elation；　and　accession　of
  power　that　enabled　me　momentarily　to　despise　the　puppets　with　whom　she
  danced。。。。　　From　this　mood　I　was　awakened　with　a　start　to　feel　a　hand　on
  my　shoulder；　and　I　turned　to　confront