第 9 节
作者:寻找山吹      更新:2021-02-27 02:12      字数:9322
  aunts; the visitors entered stealthily; after the manner of burglars;
  some of these were heavy…jowled; and all had an air of mystery that
  raised my curiosity and excitement to the highest pitch。  I caught hold
  of Ella as she came up the stairs; but she tore herself free; and
  announced to my father that Mr。 Josiah Blackwood and other gentlemen had
  asked to see him。  My father seemed puzzled as he went downstairs。。。。  A
  long interval elapsed; during which I did not make even a pretence of
  looking at my arithmetic。  At times the low hum of voices rose to what
  was almost an uproar; and on occasions I distinguished a marked Irish
  brogue。
  〃I wonder what they want?〃 said my mother; nervously。
  At last we heard the front door shut behind them; and my father came
  upstairs; his usually serene face wearing a disturbed expression。
  〃Who in the world was it; Mr。 Paret?〃 asked my mother。
  My father sat down in the arm…chair。  He was clearly making an effort for
  self…control。
  〃Blackwood and Ogilvy and Watling and some city politicians;〃 he
  exclaimed。
  〃Politicians!〃 she repeated。  〃What did they want?  That is; if it's
  anything you can tell me;〃 she added apologetically。
  〃They wished me to be the Republican candidate for the mayor of this
  city。〃
  This tremendous news took me off my feet。  My father mayor!
  〃Of course you didn't consider it; Mr。 Paret;〃 my mother was saying。
  〃Consider it!〃 he echoed reprovingly。  〃I can't imagine what Ogilvy and
  Watling and Josiah Blackwood were thinking of!  They are out of their
  heads。  I as much as told them so。〃
  This was more than I could bear; for I had already pictured myself
  telling the news to envious schoolmates。
  〃Oh; father; why didn't you take it?〃 I cried。
  By this time; when he turned to me; he had regained his usual expression。
  〃You don't know what you're talking about; Hugh;〃 he said。  〃Accept a
  political office!  That sort of thing is left to politicians。〃
  The tone in which he spoke warned me that a continuation of the
  conversation would be unwise; and my mother also understood that the
  discussion was closed。  He went back to his desk; and began writing again
  as though nothing had happened。
  As for me; I was left in a palpitating state of excitement which my
  father's self…control or sang…froid only served to irritate and enhance;
  and my head was fairly spinning as; covertly; I watched his pen steadily
  covering the paper。
  How could hehow could any man of flesh and blood sit down calmly after
  having been offered the highest honour in the gift of his community!  And
  he had spurned it as if Mr。 Blackwood and the others had gratuitously
  insulted him!  And how was it; if my father so revered the Republican
  Party that he would not suffer it to be mentioned slightingly in his
  presence; that he had refused contemptuously to be its mayor?。。。
  The next day at school; however; I managed to let it be known that the
  offer had been made and declined。  After all; this seemed to make my
  father a bigger man than if he had accepted it。  Naturally I was asked
  why he had declined it。
  〃He wouldn't take it;〃 I replied scornfully。  〃Office…holding should be
  left to politicians。〃
  Ralph Hambleton; with his precocious and cynical knowledge of the world;
  minimized my triumph by declaring that he would rather be his
  grandfather; Nathaniel Durrett; than the mayor of the biggest city in the
  country。  Politicians; he said; were bloodsuckers and thieves; and the
  only reason for holding office was that it enabled one to steal the
  taxpayers' money。。。。
  As I have intimated; my vision of a future literary career waxed and
  waned; but a belief that I was going to be Somebody rarely deserted me。
  If not a literary lion; what was that Somebody to be?  Such an
  environment as mine was woefully lacking in heroic figures to satisfy the
  romantic soul。  In view of the experience I have just related; it is not
  surprising that the notion of becoming a statesman did not appeal to me;
  nor is it to be wondered at; despite the somewhat exaggerated respect and
  awe in which Ralph's grandfather was held by my father and other
  influential persons; that I failed to be stirred by the elements of
  greatness in the grim personality of our first citizen; the iron…master。
  For he possessed such elements。  He lived alone in Ingrain Street in an
  uncompromising mansion I always associated with the Sabbath; not only
  because I used to be taken there on decorous Sunday visits by my father;
  but because it was the very quintessence of Presbyterianism。  The moment
  I entered its 〃portals〃as Mr。 Hawthorne appropriately would have called
  themmy spirit was overwhelmed and suffocated by its formality and
  orderliness。  Within its stern walls Nathaniel Durrett had made a model
  universe of his own; such as the Deity of the Westminster Confession had
  no doubt meant his greater one to be if man had not rebelled and foiled
  him。。。。  It was a world from which I was determined to escape at any
  cost。
  My father and I were always ushered into the gloomy library; with its
  high ceiling; with its long windows that reached almost to the rococo
  cornice; with its cold marble mantelpiece that reminded me of a
  tombstone; with its interminable book shelves filled with yellow
  bindings。  On the centre table; in addition to a ponderous Bible; was one
  of those old…fashioned carafes of red glass tipped with blue surmounted
  by a tumbler of blue tipped with red。  Behind this table Mr。 Durrett sat
  reading a volume of sermons; a really handsome old man in his black tie
  and pleated shirt; tall and spare; straight as a ramrod; with a finely
  moulded head and straight nose and sinewy hands the colour of mulberry
  stain。  He called my father by his first name; an immense compliment;
  considering how few dared to do so。
  〃Well; Matthew;〃 the old man would remark; after they had discussed Dr。
  Pound's latest flight on the nature of the Trinity or the depravity of
  man; or horticulture; or the Republican Party; 〃do you have any better
  news of Hugh at school?〃
  〃I regret to say; Mr。 Durrett;〃 my father would reply; 〃that he does not
  yet seem to be aroused to a sense of his opportunities。〃
  Whereupon Mr。 Durrett would gimble me with a blue eye that lurked beneath
  grizzled brows; quite as painful a proceeding as if he used an iron tool。
  I almost pity myself when I think of what a forlorn stranger I was in
  their company。  They two; indeed; were of one kind; and I of another sort
  who could never understand them;nor they me。  To what depths of despair
  they reduced me they never knew; and yet they were doing it all for my
  good!  They only managed to convince me that my love of folly was
  ineradicable; and that I was on my way head first for perdition。  I
  always looked; during these excruciating and personal moments; at the
  coloured glass bottle。
  〃It grieves me to hear it; Hugh;〃 Mr。 Durrett invariably declared。
  〃You'll never come to any good without study。  Now when I was your
  age。。。〃
  I knew his history by heart; a common one in this country; although he
  made an honourable name instead of a dishonourable one。  And when I
  contrast him with those of his successors whom I was to know later。。。!
  But I shall not anticipate。  American genius had not then evolved the
  false entry method of overcapitalization。  A thrilling history; Mr。
  Durrett's; could I but have entered into it。  I did not reflect then that
  this stern old man must have throbbed once; nay; fire and energy still
  remained in his bowels; else he could not have continued to dominate a
  city。  Nor did it occur to me that the great steel…works that lighted the
  southern sky were the result of a passion; of dreams similar to those
  possessing me; but which I could not express。  He had founded a family
  whose position was virtually hereditary; gained riches which for those
  days were great; compelled men to speak his name with a certain awe。  But
  of what use were such riches as his when his religion and morality
  compelled him to banish from him all the joys in the power of riches to
  bring?
  No; I didn't want to be an iron…master。  But it may have been about this
  time that I began to be impressed with the power of wealth; the adulation
  and reverence it commanded; the importance in which it clothed all who
  shared in it。。。。
  The private school I attended in the company of other boys with whom I
  was brought up was called Densmore Academy; a large; square building of a
  then hideous modernity; built of smooth; orange…red bricks with threads
  of black mortar between them。  One reads of happy school days; yet I fail
  to recall any really happy hours spent there; even in the yard; which was
  covered with black cinders that cut you when you fell。  I think of it as
  a penitentiary; and the memory of the barred lower windows gives
  substance to this impression。
  I suppose I learned something during the seven years of my incarceration。
  All of value; had its teachers known anything of youthful psychology; of
  natural bent; could have been put into me in three。  At least four
  criminally wasted years; to say nothing of the benumbing and desiccating
  effect of that old system of education!  Chalk and chalk…dust!  The
  Mediterran