第 6 节
作者:莫莫言      更新:2021-02-27 01:49      字数:9322
  killed my mother!〃
  Saying these words he wept no longer; he was seized by that short and
  rapid madness known to the men of Picardy; he sprang to the wall; and
  if I had not caught him; he would have dashed out his brains against
  it。
  〃Wait for your trial;〃 I said。 〃You are innocent; you will certainly
  be acquitted; think of your mother。〃
  〃My mother!〃 he cried frantically; 〃she will hear of the accusation
  before she hears anything else;it is always so in little towns; and
  the shock will kill her。 Besides; I am not innocent。 Must I tell you
  the whole truth? I feel that I have lost the virginity of my
  conscience。〃
  After that terrible avowal he sat down; crossed his arms on his
  breast; bowed his head upon it; gazing gloomily on the ground。 At this
  instant the turnkey came to ask me to return to my room。 Grieved to
  leave my companion at a moment when his discouragement was so deep; I
  pressed him in my arms with friendship; saying:
  〃Have patience; all may yet go well。 If the voice of an honest man can
  still your doubts; believe that I esteem you and trust you。 Accept my
  friendship; and rest upon my heart; if you cannot find peace in your
  own。〃
  The next morning a corporal's guard came to fetch the young surgeon at
  nine o'clock。 Hearing the noise made by the soldiers; I stationed
  myself at my window。 As the prisoner crossed the courtyard; he cast
  his eyes up to me。 Never shall I forget that look; full of thoughts;
  presentiments; resignation; and I know not what sad; melancholy grace。
  It was; as it were; a silent but intelligible last will by which a man
  bequeathed his lost existence to his only friend。 The night must have
  been very hard; very solitary for him; and yet; perhaps; the pallor of
  his face expressed a stoicism gathered from some new sense of self…
  respect。 Perhaps he felt that his remorse had purified him; and
  believed that he had blotted out his fault by his anguish and his
  shame。 He now walked with a firm step; and since the previous evening
  he had washed away the blood with which he was; involuntarily;
  stained。
  〃My hands must have dabbled in it while I slept; for I am always a
  restless sleeper;〃 he had said to me in tones of horrible despair。
  I learned that he was on his way to appear before the council of war。
  The division was to march on the following morning; and the
  commanding…officer did not wish to leave Andernach without inquiry
  into the crime on the spot where it had been committed。 I remained in
  the utmost anxiety during the time the council lasted。 At last; about
  mid…day; Prosper Magnan was brought back。 I was then taking my usual
  walk; he saw me; and came and threw himself into my arms。
  〃Lost!〃 he said; 〃lost; without hope! Here; to all the world; I am a
  murderer。〃 He raised his head proudly。 〃This injustice restores to me
  my innocence。 My life would always have been wretched; my death leaves
  me without reproach。 But is there a future?〃
  The whole eighteenth century was in that sudden question。 He remained
  thoughtful。
  〃Tell me;〃 I said to him; 〃how you answered。 What did they ask you?
  Did you not relate the simple facts as you told them to me?〃
  He looked at me fixedly for a moment; then; after that awful pause; he
  answered with feverish excitement:
  〃First they asked me; 'Did you leave the inn during the night?' I
  said; 'Yes。' 'How?' I answered; 'By the window。' 'Then you must have
  taken great precautions; the innkeeper heard no noise。' I was
  stupefied。 The sailors said they saw me walking; first to Andernach;
  then to the forest。 I made many trips; they said; no doubt to bury the
  gold and diamonds。 The valise had not been found。 My remorse still
  held me dumb。 When I wanted to speak; a pitiless voice cried out to
  me; 'YOU MEANT TO COMMIT THAT CRIME!' All was against me; even myself。
  They asked me about my comrade; and I completely exonerated him。 Then
  they said to me: 'The crime must lie between you; your comrade; the
  innkeeper; and his wife。 This morning all the windows and doors were
  found securely fastened。' At those words;〃 continued the poor fellow;
  〃I had neither voice; nor strength; nor soul to answer。 More sure of
  my comrade than I could be of myself; I could not accuse him。 I saw
  that we were both thought equally guilty of the murder; and that I was
  considered the most clumsy。 I tried to explain the crime by
  somnambulism; and so protect my friend; but there I rambled and
  contradicted myself。 No; I am lost。 I read my condemnation in the eyes
  of my judges。 They smiled incredulously。 All is over。 No more
  uncertainty。 To…morrow I shall be shot。 I am not thinking of myself;〃
  he went on after a pause; 〃but of my poor mother。〃 Then he stopped;
  looked up to heaven; and shed no tears; his eyes were dry and strongly
  convulsed。 〃Frederic〃
  '〃Ah! true;〃 cried Monsieur Hermann; with an air of triumph。 〃Yes; the
  other's name was Frederic; Frederic! I remember now!〃
  My neighbor touched my foot; and made me a sign to look at Monsieur
  Taillefer。 The former purveyor had negligently dropped his hand over
  his eyes; but between the interstices of his fingers we thought we
  caught a darkling flame proceeding from them。
  〃Hein?〃 she said in my ear; 〃what if his name were Frederic?〃
  I answered with a glance; which said to her: 〃Silence!〃
  Hermann continued:'
  〃Frederic!〃 cried the young surgeon; 〃Frederic basely deserted me。 He
  must have been afraid。 Perhaps he is still hidden in the inn; for our
  horses were both in the courtyard this morning。 What an
  incomprehensible mystery!〃 he went on; after a moment's silence。
  〃Somnambulism! somnambulism? I never had but one attack in my life;
  and that was when I was six years old。 Must I go from this earth;〃 he
  cried; striking the ground with his foot; 〃carrying with me all there
  is of friendship in the world? Shall I die a double death; doubting a
  fraternal love begun when we were only five years old; and continued
  through school and college? Where is Frederic?〃
  He wept。 Can it be that we cling more to a sentiment than to life?
  〃Let us go in;〃 he said; 〃I prefer to be in my cell。 I do not wish to
  be seen weeping。 I shall go courageously to death; but I cannot play
  the heroic at all moments; I own I regret my beautiful young life。 All
  last night I could not sleep; I remembered the scenes of my childhood;
  I fancied I was running in the fields。 Ah! I had a future;〃 he said;
  suddenly interrupting himself; 〃and now; twelve men; a sub…lieutenant
  shouting 'Carry…arms; aim; fire!' a roll of drums; and infamy! that's
  my future now。 Oh! there must be a God; or it would all be too
  senseless。〃
  Then he took me in his arms and pressed me to him with all his
  strength。
  〃You are the last man; the last friend to whom I can show my soul。 You
  will be set at liberty; you will see your mother! I don't know whether
  you are rich or poor; but no matter! you are all the world to me。 They
  won't fight always; 'ceux…ci。' Well; when there's peace; will you go
  to Beauvais? If my mother has survived the fatal news of my death; you
  will find her there。 Say to her the comforting words; 'He was
  innocent!' She will believe you。 I am going to write to her; but you
  must take her my last look; you must tell her that you were the last
  man whose hand I pressed。 Oh; she'll love you; the poor woman! you; my
  last friend。 Here;〃 he said; after a moment's silence; during which he
  was overcome by the weight of his recollections; 〃all; officers and
  soldiers; are unknown to me; I am an object of horror to them。 If it
  were not for you my innocence would be a secret between God and
  myself。〃
  I swore to sacredly fulfil his last wishes。 My words; the emotion I
  showed touched him。 Soon after that the soldiers came to take him
  again before the council of war。 He was condemned to death。 I am
  ignorant of the formalities that followed or accompanied this
  judgment; nor do I know whether the young surgeon defended his life or
  not; but he expected to be executed on the following day; and he spent
  the night in writing to his mother。
  〃We shall both be free to…day;〃 he said; smiling; when I went to see
  him the next morning。 〃I am told that the general has signed your
  pardon。〃
  I was silent; and looked at him closely so as to carve his features;
  as it were; on my memory。 Presently an expression of disgust crossed
  his face。
  〃I have been very cowardly;〃 he said。 〃During all last night I begged
  for mercy of these walls;〃 and he pointed to the sides of his dungeon。
  〃Yes; yes; I howled with despair; I rebelled; I suffered the most
  awful moral agonyI was alone! Now I think of what others will say of
  me。 Courage is a garment to put on。 I desire to go decently to death;
  therefore〃
  A DOUBLE RETRIBUTION
  〃Oh; stop! stop!〃 cried the young lady who had asked for this history;
  interrupting the narrator suddenly。 〃Say no more; let me remain i