第 6 节
作者:
莫莫言 更新:2021-02-27 01:49 字数:9322
killed my mother!〃
Saying these words he wept no longer; he was seized by that short and
rapid madness known to the men of Picardy; he sprang to the wall; and
if I had not caught him; he would have dashed out his brains against
it。
〃Wait for your trial;〃 I said。 〃You are innocent; you will certainly
be acquitted; think of your mother。〃
〃My mother!〃 he cried frantically; 〃she will hear of the accusation
before she hears anything else;it is always so in little towns; and
the shock will kill her。 Besides; I am not innocent。 Must I tell you
the whole truth? I feel that I have lost the virginity of my
conscience。〃
After that terrible avowal he sat down; crossed his arms on his
breast; bowed his head upon it; gazing gloomily on the ground。 At this
instant the turnkey came to ask me to return to my room。 Grieved to
leave my companion at a moment when his discouragement was so deep; I
pressed him in my arms with friendship; saying:
〃Have patience; all may yet go well。 If the voice of an honest man can
still your doubts; believe that I esteem you and trust you。 Accept my
friendship; and rest upon my heart; if you cannot find peace in your
own。〃
The next morning a corporal's guard came to fetch the young surgeon at
nine o'clock。 Hearing the noise made by the soldiers; I stationed
myself at my window。 As the prisoner crossed the courtyard; he cast
his eyes up to me。 Never shall I forget that look; full of thoughts;
presentiments; resignation; and I know not what sad; melancholy grace。
It was; as it were; a silent but intelligible last will by which a man
bequeathed his lost existence to his only friend。 The night must have
been very hard; very solitary for him; and yet; perhaps; the pallor of
his face expressed a stoicism gathered from some new sense of self…
respect。 Perhaps he felt that his remorse had purified him; and
believed that he had blotted out his fault by his anguish and his
shame。 He now walked with a firm step; and since the previous evening
he had washed away the blood with which he was; involuntarily;
stained。
〃My hands must have dabbled in it while I slept; for I am always a
restless sleeper;〃 he had said to me in tones of horrible despair。
I learned that he was on his way to appear before the council of war。
The division was to march on the following morning; and the
commanding…officer did not wish to leave Andernach without inquiry
into the crime on the spot where it had been committed。 I remained in
the utmost anxiety during the time the council lasted。 At last; about
mid…day; Prosper Magnan was brought back。 I was then taking my usual
walk; he saw me; and came and threw himself into my arms。
〃Lost!〃 he said; 〃lost; without hope! Here; to all the world; I am a
murderer。〃 He raised his head proudly。 〃This injustice restores to me
my innocence。 My life would always have been wretched; my death leaves
me without reproach。 But is there a future?〃
The whole eighteenth century was in that sudden question。 He remained
thoughtful。
〃Tell me;〃 I said to him; 〃how you answered。 What did they ask you?
Did you not relate the simple facts as you told them to me?〃
He looked at me fixedly for a moment; then; after that awful pause; he
answered with feverish excitement:
〃First they asked me; 'Did you leave the inn during the night?' I
said; 'Yes。' 'How?' I answered; 'By the window。' 'Then you must have
taken great precautions; the innkeeper heard no noise。' I was
stupefied。 The sailors said they saw me walking; first to Andernach;
then to the forest。 I made many trips; they said; no doubt to bury the
gold and diamonds。 The valise had not been found。 My remorse still
held me dumb。 When I wanted to speak; a pitiless voice cried out to
me; 'YOU MEANT TO COMMIT THAT CRIME!' All was against me; even myself。
They asked me about my comrade; and I completely exonerated him。 Then
they said to me: 'The crime must lie between you; your comrade; the
innkeeper; and his wife。 This morning all the windows and doors were
found securely fastened。' At those words;〃 continued the poor fellow;
〃I had neither voice; nor strength; nor soul to answer。 More sure of
my comrade than I could be of myself; I could not accuse him。 I saw
that we were both thought equally guilty of the murder; and that I was
considered the most clumsy。 I tried to explain the crime by
somnambulism; and so protect my friend; but there I rambled and
contradicted myself。 No; I am lost。 I read my condemnation in the eyes
of my judges。 They smiled incredulously。 All is over。 No more
uncertainty。 To…morrow I shall be shot。 I am not thinking of myself;〃
he went on after a pause; 〃but of my poor mother。〃 Then he stopped;
looked up to heaven; and shed no tears; his eyes were dry and strongly
convulsed。 〃Frederic〃
'〃Ah! true;〃 cried Monsieur Hermann; with an air of triumph。 〃Yes; the
other's name was Frederic; Frederic! I remember now!〃
My neighbor touched my foot; and made me a sign to look at Monsieur
Taillefer。 The former purveyor had negligently dropped his hand over
his eyes; but between the interstices of his fingers we thought we
caught a darkling flame proceeding from them。
〃Hein?〃 she said in my ear; 〃what if his name were Frederic?〃
I answered with a glance; which said to her: 〃Silence!〃
Hermann continued:'
〃Frederic!〃 cried the young surgeon; 〃Frederic basely deserted me。 He
must have been afraid。 Perhaps he is still hidden in the inn; for our
horses were both in the courtyard this morning。 What an
incomprehensible mystery!〃 he went on; after a moment's silence。
〃Somnambulism! somnambulism? I never had but one attack in my life;
and that was when I was six years old。 Must I go from this earth;〃 he
cried; striking the ground with his foot; 〃carrying with me all there
is of friendship in the world? Shall I die a double death; doubting a
fraternal love begun when we were only five years old; and continued
through school and college? Where is Frederic?〃
He wept。 Can it be that we cling more to a sentiment than to life?
〃Let us go in;〃 he said; 〃I prefer to be in my cell。 I do not wish to
be seen weeping。 I shall go courageously to death; but I cannot play
the heroic at all moments; I own I regret my beautiful young life。 All
last night I could not sleep; I remembered the scenes of my childhood;
I fancied I was running in the fields。 Ah! I had a future;〃 he said;
suddenly interrupting himself; 〃and now; twelve men; a sub…lieutenant
shouting 'Carry…arms; aim; fire!' a roll of drums; and infamy! that's
my future now。 Oh! there must be a God; or it would all be too
senseless。〃
Then he took me in his arms and pressed me to him with all his
strength。
〃You are the last man; the last friend to whom I can show my soul。 You
will be set at liberty; you will see your mother! I don't know whether
you are rich or poor; but no matter! you are all the world to me。 They
won't fight always; 'ceux…ci。' Well; when there's peace; will you go
to Beauvais? If my mother has survived the fatal news of my death; you
will find her there。 Say to her the comforting words; 'He was
innocent!' She will believe you。 I am going to write to her; but you
must take her my last look; you must tell her that you were the last
man whose hand I pressed。 Oh; she'll love you; the poor woman! you; my
last friend。 Here;〃 he said; after a moment's silence; during which he
was overcome by the weight of his recollections; 〃all; officers and
soldiers; are unknown to me; I am an object of horror to them。 If it
were not for you my innocence would be a secret between God and
myself。〃
I swore to sacredly fulfil his last wishes。 My words; the emotion I
showed touched him。 Soon after that the soldiers came to take him
again before the council of war。 He was condemned to death。 I am
ignorant of the formalities that followed or accompanied this
judgment; nor do I know whether the young surgeon defended his life or
not; but he expected to be executed on the following day; and he spent
the night in writing to his mother。
〃We shall both be free to…day;〃 he said; smiling; when I went to see
him the next morning。 〃I am told that the general has signed your
pardon。〃
I was silent; and looked at him closely so as to carve his features;
as it were; on my memory。 Presently an expression of disgust crossed
his face。
〃I have been very cowardly;〃 he said。 〃During all last night I begged
for mercy of these walls;〃 and he pointed to the sides of his dungeon。
〃Yes; yes; I howled with despair; I rebelled; I suffered the most
awful moral agonyI was alone! Now I think of what others will say of
me。 Courage is a garment to put on。 I desire to go decently to death;
therefore〃
A DOUBLE RETRIBUTION
〃Oh; stop! stop!〃 cried the young lady who had asked for this history;
interrupting the narrator suddenly。 〃Say no more; let me remain i