had　so　lived；　it　seemed　to　me；　that　I　had　not　merited　this　shame。　　I
  was　forcibly　struck　by　this。　　I　told　the　members　of　my　household
  about　it；　I　told　my　acquaintances；　and　they　all　agreed　that　they
  should　have　felt　the　same。　　And　I　began　to　reflect：　　why　had　this
  caused　me　such　shame？　　To　this；　something　which　had　happened　to　me　in
  Moscow　furnished　me　with　an　answer。
  I　meditated　on　that　incident；　and　the　shame　which　I　had　experienced
  in　the　presence　of　the　cook's　wife　was　explained　to　me；　and　all　those
  sensations　of　mortification　which　I　had　undergone　during　the　course
  of　my　Moscow　benevolence；　and　which　I　now　feel　incessantly　when　I
  have　occasion　to　give　any　one　any　thing　except　that　petty　alms　to　the
  poor　and　to　pilgrims；　which　I　have　become　accustomed　to　bestow；　and
  which　I　consider　a　deed　not　of　charity　but　of　courtesy。　　If　a　man
  asks　you　for　a　light；　you　must　strike　a　match　for　him；　if　you　have
  one。　　If　a　man　asks　for　three　or　for　twenty　kopeks；　or　even　for
  several　rubles；　you　must　give　them　if　you　have　them。　　This　is　an　act
  of　courtesy　and　not　of　charity。＇　｛16｝
  This　was　the　case　in　question：　　I　have　already　mentioned　the　two
  peasants　with　whom　I　was　in　the　habit　of　sawing　wood　three　yeans　ago。
  One　Saturday　evening　at　dusk；　I　was　returning　to　the　city　in　their
  company。　　They　were　going　to　their　employer　to　receive　their　wages。
  As　we　were　crossing　the　Dragomilovsky　bridge；　we　met　an　old　man。　　He
  asked　alms；　and　I　gave　him　twenty　kopeks。　　I　gave；　and　reflected　on
  the　good　effect　which　my　charity　would　have　on　Semyon；　with　whom　I
  had　been　conversing　on　religious　topics。　　Semyon；　the　Vladimir
  peasant；　who　had　a　wife　and　two　children　in　Moscow；　halted　also；
  pulled　round　the　skirt　of　his　kaftan；　and　got　out　his　purse；　and　from
  this　slender　purse　he　extracted；　after　some　fumbling；　three　kopeks；
  handed　it　to　the　old　man；　and　asked　for　two　kopeks　in　change。　　The
  old　man　exhibited　in　his　hand　two　three…kopek　pieces　and　one　kopek。
  Semyon　looked　at　them；　was　about　to　take　the　kopek；　but　thought
  better　of　it；　pulled　off　his　hat；　crossed　himself；　and　walked　on；
  leaving　the　old　man　the　three…kopek　piece。
  I　was　fully　acquainted　with　Semyon's　financial　condition。　　He　had　no
  property　at　home　at　all。　　The　money　which　he　had　laid　by　on　the　day
  when　he　gave　three　kopeks　amounted　to　six　rubles　and　fifty　kopeks。
  Accordingly；　six　rubles　and　twenty　kopeks　was　the　sum　of　his　savings。
  My　reserve　fund　was　in　the　neighborhood　of　six　hundred　thousand。　　I
  had　a　wife　and　children；　Semyon　had　a　wife　and　children。　　He　was
  younger　than　I；　and　his　children　were　fewer　in　number　than　mine；　but
  his　children　were　small；　and　two　of　mine　were　of　an　age　to　work；　so
  that　our　position；　with　the　exception　of　the　savings；　was　on　an
  equality；　mine　was　somewhat　the　more　favorable；　if　any　thing。　　He
  gave　three　kopeks；　I　gave　twenty。　　What　did　he　really　give；　and　what
  did　I　really　give？　　What　ought　I　to　have　given；　in　order　to　do　what
  Semyon　had　done？　he　had　six　hundred　kopeks；　out　of　this　he　gave　one；
  and　afterwards　two。　　I　had　six　hundred　thousand　rubles。　　In　order　to
  give　what　Semyon　had　given；　I　should　have　been　obliged　to　give　three
  thousand　rubles；　and　ask　for　two　thousand　in　change；　and　then　leave
  the　two　thousand　with　the　old　man；　cross　myself；　and　go　my　way；
  calmly　conversing　about　life　in　the　factories；　and　the　cost　of　liver
  in　the　Smolensk　market。
  I　thought　of　this　at　the　time；　but　it　was　only　long　afterwards　that　I
  was　in　a　condition　to　draw　from　this　incident　that　deduction　which
  inevitably　results　from　it。　　This　deduction　is　so　uncommon　and　so
  singular；　apparently；　that；　in　spite　of　its　mathematical
  infallibility；　one　requires　time　to　grow　used　to　it。　　It　does　seem　as
  though　there　must　be　some　mistake；　but　mistake　there　is　none。　　There
  is　merely　the　fearful　mist　of　error　in　which　we　live。
  ＇This　deduction；　when　I　arrived　at　it；　and　when　I　recognized　its
  undoubted　truth；　furnished　me　with　an　explanation　of　my　shame　in　the
  presence　of　the　cook's　wife；　and　of　all　the　poor　people　to　whom　I　had
  given　and　to　whom　I　still　give　money。
  What；　in　point　of　fact；　is　that　money　which　I　give　to　the　poor；　and
  which　the　cook's　wife　thought　I　was　giving　to　her？　　In　the　majority
  of　cases；　it　is　that　portion　of　my　substance　which　it　is　impossible
  even　to　express　in　figures　to　Semyon　and　the　cook's　wife；it　is
  generally　one　millionth　part　or　about　that。　　I　give　so　little　that
  the　bestowal　of　any　money　is　not　and　cannot　be　a　deprivation　to　me；
  it　is　only　a　pleasure　in　which　I　amuse　myself　when　the　whim　seizes
  me。　　And　it　was　thus　that　the　cook's　wife　understood　it。　　If　I　give
  to　a　man　who　steps　in　from　the　street　one　ruble　or　twenty　kopeks；　why
  should　not　I　give　her　a　ruble　also？　　In　the　opinion　of　the　cook's
  wife；　such　a　bestowal　of　money　is　precisely　the　same　as　the　flinging
  of　honey…cakes　to　the　people　by　gentlemen；　it　furnishes　the　people
  who　have　a　great　deal　of　superfluous　cash　with　amusement。　　I　was
  mortified　because　the　mistake　made　by　the　cook's　wife　demonstrated　to
  me　distinctly　the　view　which　she；　and　all　people　who　are　not　rich；
  must　take　of　me：　　〃He　is　flinging　away　his　folly；　i。e。；　his　unearned
  money。〃
  As　a　matter　of　fact；　what　is　my　money；　and　whence　did　it　come　into　my
  possession？　　A　portion　of　it　I　accumulated　from　the　land　which　I
  received　from　my　father。　　A　peasant　sold　his　last　sheep　or　cow　in
  order　to　give　the　money　to　me。　　Another　portion　of　my　money　is　the
  money　which　I　have　received　for　my　writings；　for　my　books。　　If　my
  books　are　hurtful；　I　only　lead　astray　those　who　purchase　them；　and
  the　money　which　I　receive　for　them　is　ill…earned　money；　but　if　my
  books　are　useful　to　people；　then　the　issue　is　still　more　disastrous。
  I　do　not　give　them　to　people：　　I　say；　〃Give　me　seventeen　rubles；　and
  I　will　give　them　to　you。〃　　And　as　the　peasant　sells　his　last　sheep；
  in　this　case　the　poor　student　or　teacher；　or　any　other　poor　man；
  deprives　himself　of　necessaries　in　order　to　give　me　this　money。　　And
  so　I　have　accumulated　a　great　deal　of　money　in　that　way；　and　what　do
  I　do　with　it？　　I　take　that　money　to　the　city；　and　bestow　it　on　the
  poor；　only　when　they　fulfil　my　caprices；　and　come　hither　to　the　city
  to　clean　my　sidewalk；　lamps；　and　shoes；　to　work　for　me　in　factories。
  And　in　return　for　this　money；　I　force　from　them　every　thing　that　I
  can；　that　is　to　say；　I　try　to　give　them　as　little　as　possible；　and　to
  receive　as　much　as　possible　from　them。　　And　all　at　once　I　begin；
  quite　unexpectedly；　to　bestow　this　money　as　a　simple　gift；　on　these
  same　poor　persons；　not　on　all；　but　on　those　to　whom　I　take　a　fancy。
  Why　should　not　every　poor　person　expect　that　it　is　quite　possible
  that　the　luck　may　fall　to　him　of　being　one　of　those　with　whom　I　shall
  amuse　myself　by　distributing　my　superfluous　money？　　And　so　all　look
  upon　me　as　the　cook's　wife　did。
  And　I　had　gone　so　far　astray　that　this　taking　of　thousands　from　the
  poor　with　one　hand；　and　this　flinging　of　kopeks　with　the　other；　to
  those　to　whom　the　whim　moved　me　to　give；　I　called　good。　　No　wonder
  that　I　felt　ashamed。＇　｛17｝
  Yes；　before　doing　good　it　was　needful　for　me　to　stand　outside　of
  evil；　in　such　conditions　that　I　might　cease　to　do　evil。　　But　my　whole
  life　is　evil。　　I　may　give　away　a　hundred　thousand　rubles；　and　still　I
  shall　not　be　in　a　position　to　do　good　because　I　shall　still　have　five
  hundred　thousand　left。　　Only　when　I　have　nothing　shall　I　be　in　a
  position　to　do　the　least　particle　of　good；　even　as　much　as　the
  prostitute　did　which　she　nursed　the　sick　women　and　her　child　for
  three　days。　　And　that　seemed　so　little　to　me！　　And　I　dared　to　think
  of　good　myself！　　That　which；　on　the　first　occasion；　told　me；　at　the
  sight　of　the　cold　and　hungry　in　the　Lyapinsky　house；　that　I　was　to
  blame　for　this；　and　that　to　live　as　I　live　is　impossible；　and
  impossible；　and　impossible；that　alone　was　true。
  What；　then；　was　I　to　do？
  CHAPTER　XVI。
  It　was　hard　for　me　to　come　to　this　confession；　but　when　I　had　come　to
  it　I　was　shocked　at　the　error　in　which　I　had　been　living。　　I　stood　up
  to　my　ears　in　the　mud；　and　yet　I　wanted　to　drag　others　out　of　this
  mud。
  What　is　it　that　I　wish　in　reality？　　I　wish　to　do　good　to　others。　　I
  wish　to　do　it　so　that　other　people　may　not　be　cold　and　hungry；　so
  that　others　may　live　as　it　is　natural　for　people　to　live。
  ＇I　wish　this；　and　I　see　that　in　consequence　of　the　violence；
  extortions；　and　various　tricks　in　which　I　take　part；　people　who　toil
  are　deprived　of　necessaries；　and　people　who　do　not　toil；　in　whose
  ranks　I　also　belong；　enjoy　in　superabundance　the　toil　of　other
  people。
  I　see　that　this　enjoyment　of　the　labors　of　others　is　so　arranged；
  that　the　more　rascally　and　complicated　the　trickery　which　is　employed
  by　the　man　himself；　or　which　has　been　employed　by　the　person　from
  whom　he　obtained　his　inheritance；　the　more　does　he　enjoy　of　the
  labors　of　others；　and　the　less　does　he　contribute　of　his　own　labor。
  First　come　the　Shtiglitzy；　Dervizy；　Morozovy；　the　Demidoffs；　the
  Yusapoffs；　then　great　bankers；　merchants；　officials；　landed
  proprietors；　among　whom　I　also　belong；　then　the　poorvery　small
  traders；　dramshop…keepers；　usurers；　district　judges；　overseers；
  teachers；　sac