k　that　this　wildfire　chase　of　romantic　situation　and　adventure　may　lead　thee　into　some　mischief；　and　then　what　would　become　of　Alan　Fairford？　　They　might　make　whom　they　pleased　Lord　Advocate　or　Solicitor…General；　I　should　never　have　the　heart　to　strive　for　it。　　All　my　exertions　are　intended　to　Vindicate　myself　one　day　in　your　eyes；　and　I　think　I　should　not　care　a　farthing　for　the　embroidered　silk　gown；　more　than　for　an　old　woman's　apron；　unless　I　had　hopes　that　thou　shouldst　be　walking　the　boards　to　admire；　and　perhaps　to　envy　me。
  That　this　may　be　the　case；　I　pritheebeware！　　See　not　a　Dulcinea；　in　every　slipshod　girl；　who；　with　blue　eyes；　fair　hair；　a　tattered　plaid；　and　a　willow…wand　in　her　grip；　drives　out　the　village　cows　to　the　loaning。　　Do　not　think　you　will　meet　a　gallant　Valentine　in　every　English　rider；　or　an　Orson　in　every　Highland　drover。　　View　things　as　they　are；　and　not　as　they　may　be　magnified　through　thy　teeming　fancy。　　I　have　seen　thee　look　at　an　old　gravel　pit；　till　thou　madest　out　capes；　and　bays；　and　inlets；　crags　and　precipices；　and　the　whole　stupendous　scenery　of　the　Isle　of　Feroe；　in　what　was；　to　all　ordinary　eyes；　a　mere　horse…　pond。　　Besides；　did　I　not　once　find　thee　gazing　with　respect　at　a　lizard；　in　the　attitude　of　one　who　looks　upon　a　crocodile？　　Now　this　is；　doubtless；　so　far　a　harmless　exercise　of　your　imagination；　for　the　puddle　cannot　drown　you；　nor　the　Lilliputian　alligator　eat　you　up。　　But　it　is　different　in　society；　where　you　cannot　mistake　the　character　of　those　you　converse　with；　or　suffer　your　fancy　to　exaggerate　their　qualities；　good　or　bad；　without　exposing　yourself　not　only　to　ridicule；　but　to　great　and　serious　inconveniences。　　Keep　guard；　therefore；　on　your　imagination；　my　dear　Darsie；　and　let　your　old　friend　assure　you；　it　is　the　point　of　your　character　most　pregnant　with　peril　to　its　good　and　generous　owner。　　Adieu！　　let　not　the　franks　of　the　worthy　peer　remain　unemployed；　above　all；　SIS　MEMOR　MEI。　　　A。　F。
  LETTER　III
  DARSIE　LATIMER　TO　ALAN　FAIRFORD
  SHEPHERD'S　BUSH。
  I　have　received　thine　absurd　and　most　conceited　epistle。　　It　is　well　for　thee　that；　Lovelace　and　Belford…like；　we　came　under　a　convention　to　pardon　every　species　of　liberty　which　we　may　take　with　each　other；　since；　upon　my　word；　there　are　some　reflections　in　your　last　which　would　otherwise　have　obliged　me　to　return　forthwith　to　Edinburgh；　merely　to　show　you　I　was　not　what　you　took　me　for。
  Why；　what　a　pair　of　prigs　hast　thou　made　of　us！　　I　plunging　into　scrapes；　without　having　courage　to　get　out　of　themthy　sagacious　self；　afraid　to　put　one　foot　before　the　other；　lest　it　should　run　away　from　its　companion；　and　so　standing　still　like　a　post；　out　of　mere　faintness　and　coldness　of　heart；　while　all　the　world　were　driving　full　speed　past　thee。　　Thou　a　portrait…painter！　　I　tell　thee；　Alan；　I　have　seen　a　better　seated　on　the　fourth　round　of　a　ladder；　and　painting　a　bare…breeched　Highlander；　holding　a　pint…　stoup　as　big　as　himself；　and　a　booted　Lowlander；　in　a　bobwig；　supporting　a　glass　of　like　dimensions；　the　whole　being　designed　to　represent　the　sign　of　the　Salutation。
  How　hadst　thou　the　heart　to　represent　thine　own　individual　self；　with　all　thy　motions；　like　those　of　a　great　Dutch　doll；　depending　on　the　pressure　of　certain　springs；　as　duty；　reflection；　and　the　like；　without　the　impulse　of　which；　thou　wouldst　doubtless　have　me　believe　thou　wouldst　not　budge　an　inch！　　But　have　I　not　seen　Gravity　out　of　his　bed　at　midnight？　　and　must　I；　in　plain　terms；　remind　thee　of　certain　mad　pranks？　　Thou　hadst　ever；　with　the　gravest　sentiments　in　thy　mouth　and　the　most　starched　reserve　in　thy　manner；　a　kind　of　lumbering　proclivity　towards　mischief；　although　with　more　inclination　to　set　it　a…going　than　address　to　carry　it　through；　and　I　cannot　but　chuckle　internally；　when　I　think　of　having　seen　my　most　venerable　monitor；　the　future　president　of　some　high　Scottish　court；　puffing；　blowing；　and　floundering；　like　a　clumsy　cart…horse　in　a　bog　where　his　efforts　to　extricate　himself　only　plunged　him　deeper　at　every　awkward　struggle；　till　some　oneI　myself；　for　exampletook　compassion　on　the　moaning　monster；　and　dragged　him　out　by　mane　and　tail。
  As　for　me；　my　portrait　is；　if　possible；　even　more　scandalously　caricatured；　I　fail　or　quail　in　spirit　at　the　upcome！　　Where　canst　thou　show　me　the　least　symptom　of　the　recreant　temper；　with　which　thou　hast　invested　me　（as　I　trust）　merely　to　set　off　the　solid　and　impassible　dignity　of　thine　own　stupid　indifference？　If　you　ever　saw　me　tremble；　be　assured　that　my　flesh；　like　that　of　the　old　Spanish　general；　only　quaked　at　the　dangers　into　which　my　spirit　was　about　to　lead　it。　　Seriously；　Alan；　this　imputed　poverty　of　spirit　is　a　shabby　charge　to　bring　against　your　friend。　　I　have　examined　myself　as　closely　as　I　can；　being；　in　very　truth；　a　little　hurt　at　your　having　such　hard　thoughts　of　me；　and　on　my　life　I　can　see　no　reason　for　them。　　I　allow　you　have；　perhaps；　some　advantage　of　me　in　the　steadiness　and　indifference　of　your　temper；　but　I　should　despise　myself；　if　I　were　conscious　of　the　deficiency　in　courage　which　you　seem　willing　enough　to　impute　to　me。　　However；　I　suppose；　this　ungracious　hint　proceeds　from　sincere　anxiety　for　my　safety；　and　so　viewing　it；　I　swallow　it　as　I　would　do　medicine　from　a　friendly　doctor；　although　I　believed　in　my　heart　he　had　mistaken　my　complaint。
  This　offensive　insinuation　disposed　of；　I　thank　thee；　Alan；　for　the　rest　of　thy　epistle。　　I　thought　I　heard　your　good　father　pronouncing　the　word　Noble　House；　with　a　mixture　of　contempt　and　displeasure；　as　if　the　very　name　of　the　poor　little　hamlet　were　odious　to　him；　or　as　if　you　had　selected；　out　of　all　Scotland；　the　very　place　at　which　you　had　no　call　to　dine。　　But　if　he　had　had　any　particular　aversion　to　that　blameless　village　and　very　sorry　inn；　is　it　not　his　own　fault　that　I　did　not　accept　the　invitation　of　the　Laird　of　Glengallacher；　to　shoot　a　buck　in　what　he　emphatically　calls　'his　country'？　　Truth　is；　I　had　a　strong　desire　to　have　complied　with　his　lairdship's　invitation。　　To　shoot　a　buck！　　Think　how　magnificent　an　idea　to　one　who　never　shot　anything　but　hedge…sparrows；　and　that　with　a　horse…pistol　purchased　at　a　broker's　stand　in　the　Cowgate！　　You；　who　stand　upon　your　courage；　may　remember　that　I　took　the　risk　of　firing　the　said　pistol　for　the　first　time；　while　you　stood　at　twenty　yards'　distance；　and　that；　when　you　were　persuaded　it　would　go　off　without　bursting；　forgetting　all　law　but　that　of　the　biggest　and　strongest；　you　possessed　yourself　of　it　exclusively　for　the　rest　of　the　holidays。　　Such　a　day's　sport　was　no　complete　introduction　to　the　noble　art　of　deer…stalking；　as　it　is　practised　in　the　Highlands；　but　I　should　not　have　scrupled　to　accept　honest　Glengallacher's　invitation；　at　the　risk　of　firing　a　rifle　for　the　first　time；　had　it　not　been　for　the　outcry　which　your　father　made　at　my　proposal；　in　the　full　ardour　of　his　zeal　for　King　George；　the　Hanover　succession；　and　the　Presbyterian　faith。　　I　wish　I　had　stood　out；　since　I　have　gained　so　little　upon　his　good　opinion　by　submission。　　All　his　impressions　concerning　the　Highlanders　are　taken　from　the　recollections　of　the　Forty…five；　when　he　retreated　from　the　West　Port　with　his　brother　volunteers；　each　to　the　fortalice　of　his　own　separate　dwelling；　so　soon　as　they　heard　the　Adventurer　was　arrived　with　his　clans　as　near　them　as　Kirkliston。　The　flight　of　Falkirk　PARMA　NON　BENE　SELECTAin　which　I　think　your　sire　had　his　share　with　the　undaunted　western　regiment；　does　not　seem　to　have　improved　his　taste　for　the　company　of　the　Highlanders；　（quaere；　Alan；　dost　thou　derive　the　courage　thou　makest　such　boast　of　from　an　hereditary　source？）　　and　stories　of　Rob　Roy　Macgregor；　and　Sergeant　Alan　Mhor　Cameron；　have　served　to　paint　them　in　still　more　sable　colours　to　his　imagination。　　＇Of　Rob　Roy　we　have　had　more　than　enough。　　Alan　Cameron；　commonly　called　Sergeant　Mhor；　a　freebooter　of　the　same　period；　was　equally　remarkable　for　strength；　courage；　and　generosity。＇
  Now；　from　all　I　can　understand；　these　ideas；　as　applied　to　the　present　state　of　the　country；　are　absolutely　chimerical。　　The　Pretender　is　no　more　remembered　in　the　Highlands　than　if　the　poor　gentleman　were　gathered　to　his　hundred　and　eight　fathers；　whose　portraits　adorn　the　ancient　walls　of　Holyrood；　the　broadswords　have　passed　into　other　hands；　the　targets　are　used　to　cover　the　butter　churns；　and　the　race　has　sunk；　or　is　fast　sinking；　from　ruffling　bullies　into　tame　cheaters。　　Indeed；　it　was　partly　my　conviction　that　there　is　little　to　be　seen　in　the　north；　which；　arriving　at　your　father's　conclusions；　though　from　different　premisses；　inclined　my　course　in　this　direction；　where　perhaps　I　shall　see　as　little。
  One　thing；　however；　I　HAVE　seen；　and　it　was　with　pleasure　the　more　indescribable；　that　I　was　debarred　from　treading　the　land　which　my　eyes　were　permitted　to　gaze　upon；　like　those　of　the　dying　prophet　from　top　of　Mount　Pisgah；I　have　seen；　in　a　word；　the　fruitful　shores　of　merry　England；　merry　England！　　of　which　I　boast　myself　a　native；　and　on　which　I　gaze；　even　while　raging　floods　and　unstable　quicksands　divide　us；　with　the　filial　affection　of　a　dutiful　son。
  Thou　canst　not　have　forgotten；　Alanfor　w