第 30 节
作者:猫王      更新:2021-02-27 00:40      字数:9322
  waylaid her in the street。       She would not speak to him; but he insisted on
  speaking to her。       He   spluttered   out   words   of   apology  for   any  wrong   he
  had committed towards her; he told her he loved her devotedly and begged
  her   to   return   to   him。   She   would   not   answer;   she   walked   hurriedly;   with
  averted face。      I imagined him with his fat little legs trying to keep up with
  her。   Panting a little in his haste; he told her how  miserable he was; he
  besought her to have mercy on him; he promised; if she would forgive him;
  to do everything she wanted。           He offered to take her for a journey。           He
  told her that Strickland would soon tire of her。            When he repeated to me
  the whole sordid little scene I was outraged。            He had shown neither sense
  nor   dignity。   He   had   omitted   nothing   that   could   make   his   wife   despise
  him。     There is no cruelty greater than a woman's to a man who loves her
  and whom she does not love; she has no kindness then; no tolerance even;
  she has only an insane irritation。         Blanche Stroeve stopped suddenly; and
  as hard as she could slapped her husband's face。               She took advantage of
  his confusion to escape; and ran up the stairs to the studio。              No word had
  passed her lips。
  When he told me this he put his hand to his cheek as though he still
  felt the smart of the blow; and in his eyes was a pain that was heartrending
  and    an   amazement      that  was   ludicrous。    He   looked    like  an   overblown
  schoolboy; and though I felt so sorry for him; I could hardly help laughing。
  117
  … Page 118…
  The Moon and Sixpence
  Then he took to walking along the street which she must pass through
  to get to the shops; and he would stand at the corner; on the other side; as
  she went along。        He dared not speak to her again; but sought to put into
  his round eyes the appeal that was in his heart。               I suppose he had some
  idea   that   the   sight   of   his   misery  would   touch   her。 She   never   made   the
  smallest sign that she saw him。           She never even changed the hour of her
  errands or sought an alternative route。           I have an idea that there was some
  cruelty in her indifference。        Perhaps she got enjoyment out of the torture
  she inflicted。 I wondered why she hated him so much。
  I   begged   Stroeve   to   behave   more   wisely。      His   want   of   spirit   was
  exasperating。
  〃You're   doing   no   good   at   all   by   going   on   like   this;〃   I   said。   〃I   think
  you'd   have   been   wiser   if   you'd   hit   her   over   the head   with   a   stick。 She
  wouldn't have despised you as she does now。〃
  I suggested that he should go home for a while。               He had often spoken
  to me of the silent town; somewhere up in the north of Holland; where his
  parents still lived。      They were poor people。           His father was a carpenter;
  and they dwelt in a little old red…brick house; neat and clean; by the side of
  a   sluggish   canal。    The   streets   were   wide   and   empty;   for   two   hundred
  years the place had been dying; but the houses had the homely stateliness
  of their time。      Rich merchants; sending their wares to the distant Indies;
  had   lived   in   them   calm   and   prosperous   lives;   and   in   their   decent   decay
  they kept still an aroma of their splendid past。             You could wander along
  the canal till you came to broad green fields; with windmills here and there;
  in which cattle; black and white; grazed lazily。 I thought that among those
  surroundings; with their recollections of his boyhood; Dirk Stroeve would
  forget his unhappiness。         But he would not go。
  〃I   must   be   here   when   she   needs   me;〃   he   repeated。     〃It   would   be
  dreadful if something terrible happened and I were not at hand。〃
  〃What do you think is going to happen?〃 I asked。
  〃I don't know。      But I'm afraid。〃
  I shrugged my shoulders。
  For all his pain; Dirk Stroeve remained a ridiculous object。 He might
  have excited sympathy if he had grown worn and thin。 He did nothing of
  118
  … Page 119…
  The Moon and Sixpence
  the   kind。   He   remained   fat;   and   his   round;   red   cheeks   shone   like   ripe
  apples。     He had   great  neatness   of person;   and he   continued to   wear   his
  spruce black coat and his bowler hat; always a little too small for him; in a
  dapper;     jaunty   manner。     He    was    getting   something     of  a  paunch;     and
  sorrow had no effect on it。          He looked more than ever like a prosperous
  bagman。       It is hard that a man's exterior should tally so little sometimes
  with his soul。      Dirk Stroeve had the passion of Romeo in the body of Sir
  Toby  Belch。       He   had   a   sweet   and   generous   nature;   and   yet   was   always
  blundering; a real feeling for what was beautiful and the capacity to create
  only what was commonplace; a peculiar delicacy of sentiment and gross
  manners。      He could exercise tact when dealing with the affairs of others;
  but   none   when   dealing   with   his   own。   What   a   cruel   practical   joke   old
  Nature   played   when   she   flung   so   many  contradictory  elements   together;
  and    left  the  man    face   to  face  with   the   perplexing     callousness    of  the
  universe。
  119
  … Page 120…
  The Moon and Sixpence
  Chapter XXXII
  I did not see Strickland for several weeks。        I was disgusted with him;
  and if I had had an opportunity should have been glad to tell him so; but I
  saw no object in seeking him out for the purpose。            I am a little shy of any
  assumption of moral indignation; there is always in it an element of self…
  satisfaction    which    makes    it  awkward    to  anyone    who    has   a  sense  of
  humour。 It requires a very lively passion to steel me to my own ridicule。
  There was a sardonic sincerity in Strickland which made me sensitive to
  anything that might suggest a pose。
  But one   evening   when   I   was   passing   along   the Avenue de   Clichy  in
  front of the cafe which Strickland frequented and which I now avoided; I
  ran straight into him。      He was accompanied by Blanche Stroeve; and they
  were just going to Strickland's favourite corner。
  〃Where the devil have you been all this time?〃 said he。 〃I thought you
  must be away。〃
  His cordiality was proof that he knew I had no wish to speak to him。
  He was not a man with whom it was worth while wasting politeness。
  〃No;〃 I said; 〃I haven't been away。〃
  〃Why haven't you been here?〃
  〃There are more cafes in Paris than one; at which to trifle away an idle
  hour。〃
  Blanche then held out her hand and bade me good…evening。 I do not
  know why I had expected her to be somehow changed; she wore the same
  gray dress that she wore so often; neat and becoming; and her brow was as
  candid;    her  eyes   as  untroubled;    as  when    I  had  been   used   to  see  her
  occupied with her household duties in the studio。
  〃Come and have a game of chess;〃 said Strickland。
  I   do   not   know   why   at   the   moment   I   could   think   of   no   excuse。   I
  followed them rather sulkily to the table at which Strickland always sat;
  and he called for the board and the chessmen。 They both took the situation
  so much as a matter of course that I felt it absurd to do otherwise。              Mrs。
  Stroeve watched the game with inscrutable face。              She was silent; but she
  had   always   been   silent。   I   looked   at   her   mouth   for   an   expression   that
  120
  … Page 121…
  The Moon and Sixpence
  could give me a clue to what she felt; I watched her eyes for some tell…tale
  flash;   some   hint   of   dismay   or   bitterness;   I   scanned   her   brow   for   any
  passing line that might indicate a settling emotion。               Her face was a mask
  that   told   nothing。  Her   hands   lay  on   her lap   motionless;   one  in   the   other
  loosely clasped。 I knew from what I had heard that she was a woman of
  violent passions; and that injurious blow that she had given Dirk; the man
  who had loved her so devotedly;  betrayed a sudden temper and a   horrid
  cruelty。    She had abandoned the safe shelter of her husband's protection
  and   the   comfortable   ease   of   a   well…provided   establishmen