第 23 节
作者:猫王      更新:2021-02-27 00:40      字数:9306
  Dirk Stroeve gave it a curious note; like an unresolved discord; but made it
  somehow   more   modern;   more   human;   like   a   rough   joke   thrown   into   a
  serious scene; it heightened the poignancy which all beauty has。
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  Chapter XXIV
  Shortly before Christmas Dirk Stroeve came to ask me to spend the
  holiday  with   him。      He   had   a   characteristic   sentimentality  about   the   day
  and    wanted     to   pass   it  among     his  friends   with    suitable   ceremonies。
  Neither of us had seen Strickland for two or three weeks  I because I had
  been   busy   with   friends   who   were   spending   a   little   while   in   Paris;   and
  Stroeve because; having quarreled with him more violently than usual; he
  had   made   up   his   mind to have nothing   more   to do   with   him。  Strickland
  was impossible; and he swore never to speak to him again。 But the season
  touched   him   with   gentle   feeling;   and   he   hated   the   thought   of   Strickland
  spending Christmas Day by himself; he ascribed his own emotions to him;
  and   could   not   bear   that   on   an   occasion given   up   to   good…fellowship   the
  lonely painter should   be abandoned   to his   own   melancholy。  Stroeve   had
  set up a Christmas…tree in his studio; and I suspected that we should both
  find absurd little presents hanging on its festive branches; but he was shy
  about   seeing   Strickland   again;   it   was   a   little   humiliating   to   forgive   so
  easily    insults   so  outrageous;     and   he  wished     me   to  be   present   at  the
  reconciliation on which he was determined。
  We   walked   together   down   the Avenue   de   Clichy;   but   Strickland   was
  not in the cafe。      It was too cold to sit outside; and we took our places on
  leather benches within。         It was hot and stuffy; and the air was gray with
  smoke。      Strickland did not come; but presently we saw the French painter
  who     occasionally      played    chess   with    him。    I    had   formed     a  casual
  acquaintance with him; and he sat down at our table。                 Stroeve asked him
  if he had seen Strickland。
  〃He's ill;〃 he said。     〃Didn't you know?〃
  〃Seriously?〃
  〃Very; I understand。〃
  Stroeve's face grew white。
  〃Why didn't he write and tell me? How stupid of me to quarrel with
  him。 We must go to him at once。             He can have no one to look after him。
  Where does he live?〃
  〃I have no idea;〃 said the Frenchman。
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  We   discovered   that   none  of us knew  how  to   find him。  Stroeve   grew
  more and more distressed。
  〃He   might   die;   and   not   a   soul   would   know   anything   about   it。   It's
  dreadful。     I can't bear the thought。        We must find him at once。〃
  I tried to make Stroeve understand that it was absurd to hunt vaguely
  about Paris。      We must first think of some plan。
  〃Yes; but all this time he may be dying; and when we get there it may
  be too late to do anything。〃
  〃Sit still and let us think;〃 I said impatiently。
  The only address I knew was the Hotel des Belges; but Strickland had
  long   left   that;   and   they   would   have   no   recollection   of   him。   With   that
  queer idea of his to keep his whereabouts secret; it was unlikely that; on
  leaving; he had said where he was going。               Besides; it was more than five
  years ago。 I felt pretty sure that he had not moved far。               If he continued to
  frequent the same cafe as when he had stayed at the hotel; it was probably
  because it was the most convenient。 Suddenly I remembered that he had
  got   his   commission   to paint   a   portrait through   the   baker   from  whom  he
  bought his bread; and it struck me that there one might find his address。 I
  called for a directory and looked out the bakers。                There were five in the
  immediate   neighbourhood;   and   the   only   thing   was   to   go   to   all   of   them。
  Stroeve   accompanied   me   unwillingly。   His   own   plan   was   to   run   up   and
  down   the   streets   that   led   out   of   the Avenue   de   Clichy   and   ask   at   every
  house if Strickland lived there。          My commonplace scheme was; after all;
  effective;    for   in  the  second    shop    we   asked    at  the  woman      behind    the
  counter acknowledged that she knew him。                  She was not certain where he
  lived; but it was in one of the three houses opposite。                 Luck favoured us;
  and in the first we tried the concierge told us that we should find him on
  the top floor。
  〃It appears that he's ill;〃 said Stroeve。
  〃It   may   be;〃   answered   the   concierge   indifferently。      〃;   I
  have not seen him for several days。〃
  Stroeve ran up the stairs ahead of me; and when I reached the top floor
  I found him talking to a workman in his shirt…sleeves who had opened a
  door   at   which   Stroeve   had   knocked。   He   pointed   to   another   door。        He
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  believed that the person who lived there was a painter。                 He had not seen
  him for a week。 Stroeve made as though he were about to knock; and then
  turned   to   me   with   a   gesture   of   helplessness。  I   saw   that   he   was   panic…
  stricken。
  〃Supposing he's dead?〃
  〃Not he;〃 I said。
  I knocked。      There was no answer。           I tried the handle; and found the
  door unlocked。        I walked in; and Stroeve followed me。 The room was in
  darkness。      I could only see that it was an attic; with a sloping roof;              and
  a   faint   glimmer;   no   more   than   a   less   profound   obscurity;   came   from   a
  skylight。
  〃Strickland;〃 I called。
  There was no answer。          It was really rather mysterious; and it seemed
  to me that Stroeve; standing just behind; was trembling in his shoes。                   For
  a moment I hesitated to strike a light。 I dimly perceived a bed in the corner;
  and I wondered whether the light would disclose lying on it a dead body。
  〃Haven't you got a match; you fool?〃
  Strickland's voice; coming out of the darkness; harshly; made me start。
  Stroeve cried out。
  〃Oh; my God; I thought you were dead。〃
  I struck a match; and looked about for a candle。              I had a rapid glimpse
  of a tiny apartment; half room; half studio; in which was nothing but a bed;
  canvases with their faces to the wall; an easel; a table; and a chair。               There
  was   no   carpet    on   the   floor。  There   was     no   fire…place。   On   the    table;
  crowded with paints; palette…knives; and litter of all kinds; was the end of
  a   candle。     I  lit  it。  Strickland     was    lying   in  the   bed;   uncomfortably
  because it was too small for him; and he had put all his clothes over him
  for   warmth。     It   was   obvious   at   a   glance   that   he   was   in   a   high   fever。
  Stroeve; his voice cracking with emotion; went up to him。
  〃Oh; my poor friend; what is the matter with you? I had no idea you
  were   ill。   Why  didn't   you   let   me   know? You   must   know   I'd   have   done
  anything in the world for you。           Were you thinking of what I said? I didn't
  mean it。     I was wrong。 It was stupid of me to take offence。〃
  〃Go to hell;〃 said Strickland。
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  〃Now;   be   reasonable。       Let   me   make   you   comfortable。   Haven't   you
  anyone to look after you?〃
  He looked round the squalid attic in dismay。               He tried to arrange the
  bed…clothes。      Strickland;      breathing    laboriously;    kept   an   angry   silence。
  He gave me a resentful glance。 I stood quite quietly; looking at him。
  〃If you want to do something for me; you can get me some milk;〃 he
  said at last。    〃I haven't been able to get out for two days。〃             There was an
  empty bottle by the side of the bed; which had contained milk; and in a
  piece of newspaper a few crumbs。
  〃What have you been having?〃 I asked。
  〃Nothing。〃
  〃For   how   long?〃   cried   Stroeve。      〃Do   you   mean   to   say   you've   had
  nothing to eat or drink for two days?           It's horrible。〃
  〃I've had water。〃
  His    eyes   dwelt   for   a  momen