第 15 节
作者:
猫王 更新:2021-02-27 00:39 字数:9250
was difficult to imagine him in those surroundings。 I thought it could
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hardly have failed to strike them that there was something incongruous in
him。
〃But if he wanted to be an artist; why didn't he say so?〃 asked Mrs。
Strickland at last。 〃I should have thought I was the last person to be
unsympathetic to to aspirations of that kind。〃
Mrs。 MacAndrew tightened her lips。 I imagine that she had never
looked with approval on her sister's leaning towards persons who
cultivated the arts。 She spoke of 〃culchaw〃 derisively。
Mrs。 Strickland continued:
〃After all; if he had any talent I should be the first to encourage it。 I
wouldn't have minded sacrifices。 I'd much rather be married to a painter
than to a stockbroker。 If it weren't for the children; I wouldn't mind
anything。 I could be just as happy in a shabby studio in Chelsea as in this
flat。〃
〃My dear; I have no patience with you;〃 cried Mrs。 MacAndrew。 〃You
don't mean to say you believe a word of this nonsense?〃
〃But I think it's true;〃 I put in mildly。
She looked at me with good…humoured contempt。
〃A man doesn't throw up his business and leave his wife and children
at the age of forty to become a painter unless there's a woman in it。 I
suppose he met one of your artistic friends; and she's turned his head。〃
A spot of colour rose suddenly to Mrs。 Strickland's pale cheeks。
〃What is she like?〃
I hesitated a little。 I knew that I had a bombshell。
〃There isn't a woman。〃
Colonel MacAndrew and his wife uttered expressions of incredulity;
and Mrs。 Strickland sprang to her feet。
〃Do you mean to say you never saw her?〃
〃There's no one to see。 He's quite alone。〃
〃That's preposterous;〃 cried Mrs。 MacAndrew。
〃I knew I ought to have gone over myself;〃 said the Colonel。 〃You can
bet your boots I'd have routed her out fast enough。〃
〃I wish you had gone over;〃 I replied; somewhat tartly。 〃You'd have
seen that every one of your suppositions was wrong。 He's not at a smart
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hotel。 He's living in one tiny room in the most squalid way。 If he's left
his home; it's not to live a gay life。 He's got hardly any money。〃
〃Do you think he's done something that we don't know about; and is
lying doggo on account of the police?〃
The suggestion sent a ray of hope in all their breasts; but I would have
nothing to do with it。
〃If that were so; he would hardly have been such a fool as to give his
partner his address;〃 I retorted acidly。 〃Anyhow; there's one thing I'm
positive of; he didn't go away with anyone。 He's not in love。 Nothing is
farther from his thoughts。〃
There was a pause while they reflected over my words。
〃Well; if what you say is true;〃 said Mrs。 MacAndrew at last; 〃things
aren't so bad as I thought。〃
Mrs。 Strickland glanced at her; but said nothing。
She was very pale now; and her fine brow was dark and lowering。 I
could not understand the expression of her face。 Mrs。 MacAndrew
continued:
〃If it's just a whim; he'll get over it。〃
〃Why don't you go over to him; Amy?〃 hazarded the Colonel。 〃There's
no reason why you shouldn't live with him in Paris for a year。 We'll look
after the children。 I dare say he'd got stale。 Sooner or later he'll be
quite ready to come back to London; and no great harm will have been
done。〃
〃I wouldn't do that;〃 said Mrs。 MacAndrew。 〃I'd give him all the rope
he wants。 He'll come back with his tail between his legs and settle down
again quite comfortably。〃 Mrs。 MacAndrew looked at her sister coolly。
〃Perhaps you weren't very wise with him sometimes。 Men are queer
creatures; and one has to know how to manage them。〃
Mrs。 MacAndrew shared the common opinion of her sex that a man is
always a brute to leave a woman who is attached to him; but that a woman
is much to blame if he does。
Mrs。 Strickland looked slowly from one to another of us。
〃He'll never come back;〃 she said。
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〃Oh; my dear; remember what we've just heard。 He's been used to
comfort and to having someone to look after him。 How long do you
think it'll be before he gets tired of a scrubby room in a scrubby hotel?
Besides; he hasn't any money。 He must come back。〃
〃As long as I thought he'd run away with some woman I thought there
was a chance。 I don't believe that sort of thing ever answers。 He'd have
got sick to death of her in three months。 But if he hasn't gone because he's
in love; then it's finished。〃
〃Oh; I think that's awfully subtle;〃 said the Colonel; putting into the
word all the contempt he felt for a quality so alien to the traditions of his
calling。 〃Don't you believe it。 He'll come back; and; as Dorothy says; I
dare say he'll be none the worse for having had a bit of a fling。〃
〃But I don't want him back;〃 she said。
〃Amy!〃
It was anger that had seized Mrs。 Strickland; and her pallor was the
pallor of a cold and sudden rage。 She spoke quickly now; with little
gasps。
〃I could have forgiven it if he'd fallen desperately in love with
someone and gone off with her。 I should have thought that natural。 I
shouldn't really have blamed him。 I should have thought he was led
away。 Men are so weak; and women are so unscrupulous。 But this is
different。 I hate him。 I'll never forgive him now。〃
Colonel MacAndrew and his wife began to talk to her together。 They
were astonished。 They told her she was mad。 They could not
understand。 Mrs。 Strickland turned desperately to me。
〃Don't see?〃 she cried。
〃I'm not sure。 Do you mean that you could have forgiven him if he'd
left you for a woman; but not if he's left you for an idea? You think you're
a match for the one; but against the other you're helpless?〃
Mrs。 Strickland gave mt a look in which I read no great friendliness;
but did not answer。 Perhaps I had struck home。 She went on in a low and
trembling voice:
〃I never knew it was possible to hate anyone as much as I hate him。
Do you know; I've been comforting myself by thinking that however long
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it lasted he'd want me at the end? I knew when he was dying he'd send
for me; and I was ready to go; I'd have nursed him like a mother; and at the
last I'd have told him that it didn't matter; I'd loved him always; and I
forgave him everything。〃
I have always been a little disconcerted by the passion women have for
behaving beautifully at the death…bed of those they love。 Sometimes it
seems as if they grudge the longevity which postpones their chance of an
effective scene。
〃But now now it's finished。 I'm as indifferent to him as if he were
a stranger。 I should like him to die miserable; poor; and starving; without
a friend。 I hope he'll rot with some loathsome disease。 I've done with
him。〃
I thought it as well then to say what Strickland had suggested。
〃If you want to divorce him; he's quite willing to do whatever is
necessary to make it possible。〃
〃Why should I give him his freedom?〃
〃I don't think he wants it。 He merely thought it might be more
convenient to you。〃
Mrs。 Strickland shrugged her shoulders impatiently。 I think I was a
little disappointed in her。 I expected then people to be more of a piece
than I do now; and I was distressed to find so much vindictiveness in so
charming a creature。