第 37 节
作者:吻火      更新:2021-02-27 00:38      字数:9322
  〃the Lord has tried me with terrible temptations。 I was not carried away by
  angels。 But a shadowy wall is raised in front of my eyes; and moves before
  me。 I have lived in a dream。 Without God all is a dream。 When I made my
  journey to Alexandria; I heard; in a short space of time; many discourses;
  and I learned that the army of errors was innumerable。 It pursues me; and I
  am compassed about with swords。〃
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  Zozimus replied
  〃Venerable   father;   we   must   remember   that   the   saints;   and   especially
  the    solitary   saints;   undergo     terrible   trials。  If  thou  wast    not   carried   to
  heaven by the seraphs; it is certain that the Lord granted that favour to thy
  image;   for   Flavian;   the   monks;   and       the   people   were   witnesses   of      thy
  assumption。〃
  Paphnutius resolved to go and receive the blessing of Anthony。
  〃Brother Zozimus;〃 he said; 〃give me one of these palm leaves; and let
  us go and meet our father。〃
  〃Let   us   go;〃   replied   Zozimus;   〃military   order   is   most   befitting   for
  monks; who are God's soldiers。 Thou and I; being abbots; will march in
  front; and the others shall follow us; singing psalms。〃
  They set out on their march; and Paphnutius said
  〃God is unity;   for   He   is   the   truth;  which   is   one。 The   world   is   many;
  because it is error。 We should turn away from all the sights of nature; even
  those     which    appear     the   most    innocent。    Their    diversity    renders    them
  pleasant; which is a sign that they are evil。 For that reason; I cannot see a
  tuft of papyrus by the side of still waters without my soul being imbued
  with   melancholy。 All   things   that   the   senses   perceive   are   detestable。   The
  least grain of sand brings danger。 Everything tempts us。 Woman is but a
  combination        of   all  the   temptations     scattered     in  the   thin   air;  on   the
  flowering   earth;   in   the   clear   waters。   Happy  is   he   whose   soul   is   a   sealed
  vase! Happy is he who knows how to be deaf; dumb; and blind; and who
  knows nothing of the world; in order that he may know God!〃
  Zozimus; having meditated upon these words; replied as follows
  〃Venerable father; it is fitting that I should avow my sins to thee; since
  thou    hast   shown     me    thy   soul。   Thus    we    shall  confess     to  each    other;
  according       to  the   apostolic    custom。     Before     I  was    a  monk;     I  led   an
  abominable life。 At Madaura; a city celebrated for its courtesans; I sought
  out all kinds of worldly love。 Every night I supped in company with young
  debauchees   and   female   flute   players;   and   I   took   home   with   me   the   one
  who pleased me the best。 A saint like thee could never imagine to what a
  pitch   the   fury   of   my   desires   carried   me。   Suffice   it   to   say   that   it   spared
  neither matrons nor nuns; and spread adultery and sacrilege everywhere。 I
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  excited my senses with wine; and was justly known as the heaviest drinker
  in Madaura。 Yet I was a Christian; and; in all my follies; kept my faith in
  Jesus   crucified。   Having   devoured   my   substance   in   riotous   living;   I   was
  beginning   to   feel   the   first   attacks   of   poverty;   when   I   saw   one   of   my
  companions in pleasure suddenly struck with a terrible disease。 His knees
  could not sustain him; his twitching hands refused to obey him; his glazed
  eyes closed。 Only horrible groans came from his breast。 His mind; heavier
  than his body; slumbered。 To punish him for having lived like a beast; God
  had    changed     him   into   a  beast。   The   loss   of  my   property     had   already
  inspired me with salutary reflections; but the example of my friend was of
  yet greater efficacy; it made such an impression on my heart that I quitted
  the world and retired into the desert。 There I have enjoyed for twenty years
  a   peace   that   nothing   has   troubled。   I   work   with   my   monks   as   weaver;
  architect;   carpenter;   and   even   as   scribe;   though;   to   say   the   truth;   I   have
  little taste for writing; having always preferred action to thought。 My days
  are full of joy; and my nights without dreams; and I believe that the grace
  of the Lord is in me; because; even in the midst of the most frightful sins; I
  have never lost hope。〃
  On   hearing   these   words;   Paphnutius   lifted   his   eyes   to   heaven   and
  murmured
  〃Lord; Thou lookest with kindness upon this man polluted by adultery;
  sacrilege; and so many crimes; and Thou turnest away from me; who have
  always   kept Thy  commandments!   How   inscrutable   is Thy  justice;   O   my
  God! and how impenetrable are Thy ways!〃
  Zozimus extended his arms。
  〃Look; venerable father! On both sides of the horizon are long; black
  files that look like emigrant ants。 They are our brothers; who; like us; are
  going to meet Anthony。〃
  When   they   came   to   the   place   of   meeting;   they   saw   a   magnificent
  spectacle。   The   army   of   monks   extended;   in   three   ranks;   in   an   immense
  semicircle。  In   the  first   rank   stood   the   old   hermits   of   the desert;   cross   in
  hand; and with long beards that almost touched the ground。 The   monks;
  governed by the abbots Ephrem and Serapion; and also all the cenobites of
  the Nile; formed the second line。 Behind them appeared the ascetics; who
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  had   come   from   their   distant   rocks。   Some   wore;   on   their   blackened   and
  dried…up bodies; shapeless rags; others had for their only clothes; bundles
  of reeds held together by withies。 Many of them were naked; but God had
  covered   them   with   a   fell   of   hair   as   thick   as   a   sheep's   fleece。   All   held
  branches   of   palm;   they   looked   like   an   emerald   rainbow;   or   they   might
  have been also compared to the host of the electthe living walls of the
  city of God。
  Such   perfect   order   reigned   in   the   assembly;   that   Paphnutius   found;
  without difficulty; the monks he governed。 He placed himself near them;
  after   having   taken   care   to   hide   his   face   under   his   hood;   that   he   might
  remain      unknown;      and    not   disturb    them    in   their   pious    expectation。
  Suddenly; an immense shout arose
  〃The saint!〃 they all cried。 〃The saint! Behold the great saint; against
  whom       hell  has   not   prevailed;    the   well…beloved      of   God!    Our    father;
  Anthony!〃
  Then a great silence followed; and every forehead was lowered to the
  sand。
  From the summit of a dune; in the vast void space; Anthony advanced;
  supported   by   his   beloved   disciples;   Macarius   and   Amathas。   He   walked
  slowly;   but   his   figure   was   still   upright;   and  showed   the   remains   of   a
  superhuman   strength。   His   white   beard   spread   over   his   broad   chest;   his
  polished   skull   reflected   the   rays   of   sunlight   like   the   forehead   of   Moses。
  The keen gaze of the eagle was in his eyes; the smile of a child shone on
  his round cheek。 To bless his people; he raised his arms; tired by a century
  of marvellous works; and his voice burst forth for the last time; with the
  words of love。
  〃How goodly are thy tents; O Jacob; and thy tabernacles; O Israel!〃
  Immediately; from one end to the other of the living wall; like a peal of
  harmonious thunder; the psalm; 〃Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord;〃
  broke forth。
  Accompanied   by   Macarius   and   Amathas;   Anthony   passed   along   the
  ranks   of   the   old   hermits;   anchorites;   and   cenobites。   This   seer;   who   had
  beheld heaven and hell; this hermit; who from a cave in the rock; governed
  the Christian Church; this saint; who had sustained the faith of the martyrs;
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  this scholar; whose eloquence had paralysed the heretics; spoke tenderly to
  each   of   his   sons;   and   bade   them   a   kindly   farewell;   on   the   eve   of   the
  blessed death; which God; who loved him; had at last promised him。
  He said to the abbots Ephrem and Serapion
  〃You     command       large   armies;    and    you    are  both    great   generals。
  Therefore;      you   shall   put   on  in   heaven    an   armour    of