第 28 节
作者:吻火      更新:2021-02-27 00:38      字数:9320
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  philosophise; and reasoned thus
  〃Assuredly;〃   he   said   to   himself;   〃time   has   no   reality。   It   is   a   simple
  illusion of our minds。 Then; if it does not exist; how can it bring death to
  me?     Does    that   mean    that   I  shall  live   for  ever?    No;   but   I  conclude
  therefrom that my death is; always has been; as it always will be。 I do not
  feel it yet; but it is in me; and I ought not to fear it; for it would be folly to
  dread the coming of that which has arrived。 It exists; like the last page of a
  book I read and have not finished。〃
  This    argument     occupied     him    all  the  rest  of   the  way;    but  without
  making him more cheerful; and his mind was filled with dismal thoughts
  when he arrived at the door of his house and heard the merry laughter of
  Crobyle and Myrtale; who were playing at tennis whilst they were waiting
  for him。
  Paphnutius   and      Thais   left   the   city   by   the   Gate  of   the  Moon;   and
  followed the coast。
  〃Woman;〃 said the monk; 〃all that great blue sea could not wash away
  thy pollutions。〃
  He spoke with scorn and anger。
  〃More filthy than a bitch or a sow; thou hast prostituted to pagans and
  infidels a body which the Eternal had intended for a tabernacle; and thy
  impurities are such that; now that thou knowest the truth; thou canst not
  unite  thy  lips   or   join   thy  hands   without   a horror  of   thyself  rising   in   thy
  heart。〃
  She followed him meekly; over stony roads; under a burning sun。 Her
  knees ached from fatigue; and her throat was parched with thirst。 But; far
  from   feeling   any   of   the   pity   which   softens   the   hearts   of   the   profane;
  Paphnutius rejoiced at these propitiatory sufferings of the flesh which had
  so sinned。 So infuriated was he with holy zeal that he would have liked to
  cut with rods the body that had preserved its beauty as a shining witness to
  its   infamy。   His   meditations   augmented   his   pious   fury;   and   remembering
  that Thais had received Nicias in her bed; that idea seemed so horrible to
  him that his blood all flowed back to his heart; and his breast felt ready to
  burst。   His   curses   were   stifled   in   his   throat;   and   he   could   only   grind   his
  teeth。   He   sprang   forward   and   stood   before   her;   pale;   terrible;   and   filled
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  with the Spirit of Godlooked into her very soul; and then spat in her face。
  She   calmly   wiped   her   face   and   continued   to   walk   on。   He   followed;
  glaring at her in pious anger; as if she had been hell itself。 He was thinking
  how he could avenge Christ in order that Christ should not avenge Himself;
  when he saw a drop of blood that had dripped from the foot of Thais on
  the   sand。   Then   a   hitherto   unknown   influence   entered   his   opened   heart;
  sobs rose to his lips; he wept; he ran and knelt before her; called her his
  sister; and kissed her bleeding feet。 He murmured a hundred times; 〃My
  sister; my sister; my mother; O most holy!〃
  He prayed
  〃Angels   of   heaven;   receive   carefully   this   drop   of   blood;   and   bear   it
  before the throne of the Lord。 And may a miraculous anemone blossom on
  the sand sprinkled with the blood of Thais; that those who see the flower
  may recover purity of heart and feeling。 O holy; holy; most holy Thais!〃
  As he prayed and prophesied thus; a lad passed on an ass。 Paphnutius
  ordered him to descend; seated Thais on the ass; and led it by the bridle。
  Towards evening they came to a canal shaded by fine trees; he tied the ass
  to the trunk of a date palm; and sitting on a mossy stone he shared with
  Thais a loaf; which they ate with salt and hyssop。 They drank fresh water
  in their hands; and talked of things eternal。 She said
  〃I have never drunk water so pure nor breathed an air so light; and I
  feel that God floats in the breezes that pass。〃
  〃Look! it is the evening; O my sister。 The blue shadows of night cover
  the   hills。   But   soon   thou   wilt   see   shining   in   the   dawn   the   tabernacles   of
  Light; soon thou wilt behold shine forth the roses of the eternal morning。〃
  They journeyed all night; and; while the crescent moon gleamed on the
  silver crests of the waves; they sang psalms and hymns。 When the sun rose;
  the Libyan desert stretched before them like a huge lion…skin。 At the edge
  of the desert; and close to a few palm…trees; some white huts shimmered in
  the morning light。
  〃Are those the tabernacles of Light; father?〃 asked Thais。
  〃Even so; my daughter and my sister。 Yonder is the House of Salvation;
  where I will confine you with my own hands。〃
  Soon   they   saw   a   number   of   women   busy   around   the   buildings;   like
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  bees   round   their   hives。   There   were   some   who   baked   bread;   or   prepared
  vegetables; many were spinning wool; and the light of heaven shone upon
  them like a smile of God。 Others meditated in the shade of the tamarisk
  trees;   their   white   hands   hung   by   their   sides;   for;   being   filled   with   love;
  they had chosen the part of Magdalen; and performed no work but prayer;
  contemplation;   and   ecstasy。   They   were;   therefore;   called   the   Marys;   and
  were clad in   white。 Those  who worked with their hands   were called the
  Marthas;  and   wore  blue   robes。 All   wore  the  hood;   but the  younger  ones
  allowed a few curls to show on their foreheads unintentionally; it is to be
  presumed;   since   it   was   forbidden   by  the   rules。 A  very  old   lady;   tall   and
  white;     walked     from    cell   to  cell;   leaning    on   a  staff   of   hard   wood。
  Paphnutius   approached   her   respectfully;   kissed   the   hem   of   her   veil;   and
  said
  〃The peace of the Lord be with thee; venerable Albina。 I have brought
  to the hive; of which thou art queen; a bee I found lost on a flowerless road。
  I took it in the palm of my hand; and revived it with my breath。 I give it to
  thee。〃
  And he pointed to the actress; who knelt down before the daughter of
  the Caesars。
  Albina cast a piercing glance on Thais; ordered her to rise; kissed her
  on the forehead; and then; turning to the monk
  〃We will place her;〃 she said; 〃amongst the Marys。〃
  Paphnutius then related how Thais had been brought to the House of
  Salvation;   and   asked   that   she   should   be   at   once   confined   in   a   cell。   The
  abbess consented; and led the penitent to a hut; which had remained empty
  since the death of the virgin Laeta; who had sanctified it。 In this narrow
  chamber there was but a bed; a table; and a pitcher; and Thais when she
  crossed the threshold; felt filled with ineffable joy。
  〃I wish to close the door myself;〃 said Paphnutius; 〃and put thereon a
  seal; which Jesus will come and break with His own hands。〃
  He   went   to   the   side   of   the   spring;   and   took   a   handful   of   wet   clay;
  mixed   with   it   a   little   spittle   and   a   hair   from   his   head;   and   plastered   it
  across the chink of the door。 Then; approaching the window; near which
  Thais stood peaceful and happy; he fell on his knees and praised the Lord
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  three times。
  〃How      beautiful  are  the  feet  of  her  who    walketh   in  the  paths   of
  righteousness! How beautiful are her feet; and how resplendent her face!〃
  He rose; lowered his hood over his eyes; and walked away slowly。
  Albina called one of her virgins。
  〃My daughter;〃 she said; 〃take to Thais those things which are needful
  for herbread; water; and a flute with three holes。〃
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  PART THE THIRD
  THE EUPHORBIA
  Paphnutius had returned to the holy desert。 He took; near Athribis; the
  boat   which   went   up   the   Nile   to   carry   food   to   the   monastery   of   Abbot
  Serapion。 When he disembarked; his disciples advanced to meet him with
  great   demonstrations   of   joy。   Some   raised   their   arms   to   heaven;   others;
  prostrate on the ground; kissed the Abbot's sandals。 For they knew already
  what   the    saint  had   accomplished      in  Alexandria。    The