第 28 节
作者:
吻火 更新:2021-02-27 00:38 字数:9320
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philosophise; and reasoned thus
〃Assuredly;〃 he said to himself; 〃time has no reality。 It is a simple
illusion of our minds。 Then; if it does not exist; how can it bring death to
me? Does that mean that I shall live for ever? No; but I conclude
therefrom that my death is; always has been; as it always will be。 I do not
feel it yet; but it is in me; and I ought not to fear it; for it would be folly to
dread the coming of that which has arrived。 It exists; like the last page of a
book I read and have not finished。〃
This argument occupied him all the rest of the way; but without
making him more cheerful; and his mind was filled with dismal thoughts
when he arrived at the door of his house and heard the merry laughter of
Crobyle and Myrtale; who were playing at tennis whilst they were waiting
for him。
Paphnutius and Thais left the city by the Gate of the Moon; and
followed the coast。
〃Woman;〃 said the monk; 〃all that great blue sea could not wash away
thy pollutions。〃
He spoke with scorn and anger。
〃More filthy than a bitch or a sow; thou hast prostituted to pagans and
infidels a body which the Eternal had intended for a tabernacle; and thy
impurities are such that; now that thou knowest the truth; thou canst not
unite thy lips or join thy hands without a horror of thyself rising in thy
heart。〃
She followed him meekly; over stony roads; under a burning sun。 Her
knees ached from fatigue; and her throat was parched with thirst。 But; far
from feeling any of the pity which softens the hearts of the profane;
Paphnutius rejoiced at these propitiatory sufferings of the flesh which had
so sinned。 So infuriated was he with holy zeal that he would have liked to
cut with rods the body that had preserved its beauty as a shining witness to
its infamy。 His meditations augmented his pious fury; and remembering
that Thais had received Nicias in her bed; that idea seemed so horrible to
him that his blood all flowed back to his heart; and his breast felt ready to
burst。 His curses were stifled in his throat; and he could only grind his
teeth。 He sprang forward and stood before her; pale; terrible; and filled
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with the Spirit of Godlooked into her very soul; and then spat in her face。
She calmly wiped her face and continued to walk on。 He followed;
glaring at her in pious anger; as if she had been hell itself。 He was thinking
how he could avenge Christ in order that Christ should not avenge Himself;
when he saw a drop of blood that had dripped from the foot of Thais on
the sand。 Then a hitherto unknown influence entered his opened heart;
sobs rose to his lips; he wept; he ran and knelt before her; called her his
sister; and kissed her bleeding feet。 He murmured a hundred times; 〃My
sister; my sister; my mother; O most holy!〃
He prayed
〃Angels of heaven; receive carefully this drop of blood; and bear it
before the throne of the Lord。 And may a miraculous anemone blossom on
the sand sprinkled with the blood of Thais; that those who see the flower
may recover purity of heart and feeling。 O holy; holy; most holy Thais!〃
As he prayed and prophesied thus; a lad passed on an ass。 Paphnutius
ordered him to descend; seated Thais on the ass; and led it by the bridle。
Towards evening they came to a canal shaded by fine trees; he tied the ass
to the trunk of a date palm; and sitting on a mossy stone he shared with
Thais a loaf; which they ate with salt and hyssop。 They drank fresh water
in their hands; and talked of things eternal。 She said
〃I have never drunk water so pure nor breathed an air so light; and I
feel that God floats in the breezes that pass。〃
〃Look! it is the evening; O my sister。 The blue shadows of night cover
the hills。 But soon thou wilt see shining in the dawn the tabernacles of
Light; soon thou wilt behold shine forth the roses of the eternal morning。〃
They journeyed all night; and; while the crescent moon gleamed on the
silver crests of the waves; they sang psalms and hymns。 When the sun rose;
the Libyan desert stretched before them like a huge lion…skin。 At the edge
of the desert; and close to a few palm…trees; some white huts shimmered in
the morning light。
〃Are those the tabernacles of Light; father?〃 asked Thais。
〃Even so; my daughter and my sister。 Yonder is the House of Salvation;
where I will confine you with my own hands。〃
Soon they saw a number of women busy around the buildings; like
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bees round their hives。 There were some who baked bread; or prepared
vegetables; many were spinning wool; and the light of heaven shone upon
them like a smile of God。 Others meditated in the shade of the tamarisk
trees; their white hands hung by their sides; for; being filled with love;
they had chosen the part of Magdalen; and performed no work but prayer;
contemplation; and ecstasy。 They were; therefore; called the Marys; and
were clad in white。 Those who worked with their hands were called the
Marthas; and wore blue robes。 All wore the hood; but the younger ones
allowed a few curls to show on their foreheads unintentionally; it is to be
presumed; since it was forbidden by the rules。 A very old lady; tall and
white; walked from cell to cell; leaning on a staff of hard wood。
Paphnutius approached her respectfully; kissed the hem of her veil; and
said
〃The peace of the Lord be with thee; venerable Albina。 I have brought
to the hive; of which thou art queen; a bee I found lost on a flowerless road。
I took it in the palm of my hand; and revived it with my breath。 I give it to
thee。〃
And he pointed to the actress; who knelt down before the daughter of
the Caesars。
Albina cast a piercing glance on Thais; ordered her to rise; kissed her
on the forehead; and then; turning to the monk
〃We will place her;〃 she said; 〃amongst the Marys。〃
Paphnutius then related how Thais had been brought to the House of
Salvation; and asked that she should be at once confined in a cell。 The
abbess consented; and led the penitent to a hut; which had remained empty
since the death of the virgin Laeta; who had sanctified it。 In this narrow
chamber there was but a bed; a table; and a pitcher; and Thais when she
crossed the threshold; felt filled with ineffable joy。
〃I wish to close the door myself;〃 said Paphnutius; 〃and put thereon a
seal; which Jesus will come and break with His own hands。〃
He went to the side of the spring; and took a handful of wet clay;
mixed with it a little spittle and a hair from his head; and plastered it
across the chink of the door。 Then; approaching the window; near which
Thais stood peaceful and happy; he fell on his knees and praised the Lord
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three times。
〃How beautiful are the feet of her who walketh in the paths of
righteousness! How beautiful are her feet; and how resplendent her face!〃
He rose; lowered his hood over his eyes; and walked away slowly。
Albina called one of her virgins。
〃My daughter;〃 she said; 〃take to Thais those things which are needful
for herbread; water; and a flute with three holes。〃
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PART THE THIRD
THE EUPHORBIA
Paphnutius had returned to the holy desert。 He took; near Athribis; the
boat which went up the Nile to carry food to the monastery of Abbot
Serapion。 When he disembarked; his disciples advanced to meet him with
great demonstrations of joy。 Some raised their arms to heaven; others;
prostrate on the ground; kissed the Abbot's sandals。 For they knew already
what the saint had accomplished in Alexandria。 The