第 17 节
作者:吻火      更新:2021-02-27 00:38      字数:9294
  all at once his sight failed; and he could see nothing before him but a thick
  cloud。 He thought that the hand of Jesus had been laid on his eyes; to hide
  this   woman      from   them。     Reassured      by   such    succour;    strengthened      and
  fortified; he said with a gravity worthy of an old hermit of the desert
  〃If thou givest thyself to me; thinkest thou it is hidden from God?〃
  She shook her head。
  〃God?   Who   forces   Him   to   keep   His   eye   always   upon   the   Grotto   of
  Nymphs? Let Him go away if we offend Him! But why should we offend
  Him? Since He has created us; He can be neither angry nor surprised to
  see us as He made us; and acting according to the nature He has given us。
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  A good deal too much is said on His behalf; and He is often credited with
  ideas    He    never   had。   You    yourself;    stranger;   do   you   know     His   true
  character? Who are you that you should speak to me in His name?〃
  At   this   question   the   monk;   opening   his   borrowed   robe;   showed   the
  cassock; and said
  〃I am Paphnutius; Abbot of Antinoe; and I come from the holy desert。
  The   hand   that   drew  Abraham   from   Chaldaea   and   Lot   from   Sodom   has
  separated me from the present age。 I no longer existed for the men of this
  century。 But thy image appeared to me in my sandy Jerusalem; and I knew
  that   thou   wert   full   of   corruption;   and   death   was   in   thee。 And   now   I   am
  before thee; woman; as before a grave; and I cry unto thee; 'Thais; arise!' 〃
  At the words; Paphnutius; monk; and abbot; she had turned pale with
  fright。   And   now;   with   dishevelled   hair   and   joined   hands;   weeping   and
  groaning; she dragged herself to the feet of the saint。
  〃Do not hurt me! Why have you come? What do you want of me? Do
  not hurt me! I know that the saints of the desert hate women who; like me;
  are made to please。 I am afraid that you hate me; and want to hurt me。 Go!
  I do not doubt your power。 But know; Paphnutius; that you should neither
  despise   me   nor   hate   me。   I   have   never;   like   many   of   the   men   I   know;
  laughed at your voluntary poverty。 In your turn; do not make a crime of
  my   riches。   I   am   beautiful;   and   clever   in   acting。   I   no   more   chose   my
  condition than my nature。 I was made for that which I do。 I was born to
  charm men。 And you yourself; did you not say just now that you loved me?
  Do not use your science against me。 Do not pronounce magic words which
  would destroy my beauty; or change me into a statue of salt。 Do not terrify
  me! I am already too frightened。 Do not kill me! I am so afraid of death。〃
  He made a sign to her to rise; and said
  〃Child; have no fear。 I will utter no word of shame or scorn。 I come on
  behalf of Him who sat on the edge of the well; and drank of the pitcher
  which   the   woman   of   Samaria   offered   to   Him;   and   who;   also;   when   He
  supped at the house   of Simon; received the perfumes of   Mary。 I am  not
  without sin that I should throw the first stone。 I have often badly employed
  the abundant grace which God has bestowed upon me。 It was not anger;
  but pity; which took me by the   hand to conduct me here。 I can;  without
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  deceit; address thee in words of love; for it is the zeal in my heart which
  has   brought   me   to   thee。   I   burn   with   the   fire   of   charity;   and   if   thy   eyes;
  accustomed only to the gross sights of the flesh; could see things in their
  mystic     aspect;    I  should    appear    unto   thee   as  a   branch    broken    off   the
  burning bush   which   the   Lord showed   on   the   mountain   to   Moses of   old;
  that he might understand true lovethat which envelops us; and which; so
  far from leaving behind it mere coals and ashes; purifies and perfumes for
  ever that which it penetrates。〃
  〃I believe you; monk; and no longer fear either deceit or ill…will from
  you。   I   have   often   heard   talk   of   the   hermits   of   the   Thebaid。   Marvellous
  things   have   been   told   concerning   Anthony   and   Paul。   Your   name   is   not
  unknown to me; and I have heard say that; though you are still young; you
  equal in virtue the oldest anchorites。 As soon as I saw you; and   without
  knowing who you were; I felt that you were no ordinary man。 Tell me! can
  you do for me that which neither the priests of Isis; nor of Hermes; nor of
  the celestial Juno; nor the Chaldean soothsayers; nor the Babylonian magi
  have been able to effect? Monk; if you love me; can you prevent me from
  dying?〃
  〃Woman;        whosoever        wishes     to   live   shall   live。   Flee    from     the
  abominable delights in which thou diest for ever。 Snatch from the devils;
  who   will   burn   it   most   horribly;   that   body   which   God   kneaded   with   His
  spittle    and   animated      with    his  own     breath。   Thou     art  consumed       with
  weariness;   come;   and   refresh   thyself   at   the   blessed   springs   of   solitude;
  come   and   drink   of   those   fountains   which   are   hidden   in   the   desert;   and
  which gush forth to heaven。 Careworn soul; come; and possess that which
  thou   desirest!   Heart   greedy   for   joy;   come   and   taste   true   joyspoverty;
  retirement;   self…forgetfulness;   seclusion   in   the   bosom   of   God。   Enemy   of
  Christ now; and to…morrow His well…beloved; come to Him! Come; thou
  whom I have sought; and thou wilt say; 'I have found love!' 〃
  Thais seemed lost in meditation on things afar。
  〃Monk;〃 she asked; 〃if I adjure all pleasures and do penance; is it true
  that I shall be born again in heaven; my body intact in all its beauty?〃
  〃Thais; I bring thee eternal life。 Believe me; for that which I announce
  to thee is the truth。〃
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  〃Who will assure me that it is the truth?〃
  〃David   and   the   prophets;   the   Scriptures;   and   the   wonders   that   thou
  shalt behold。〃
  〃Monk; I should like to believe you; for I must confess that I have not
  found happiness in this world。 My lot in life is better than that of a queen;
  and   yet   I   have   many   bitternesses   and   misfortunes;   and   I   am   infinitely
  weary  of   my   existence。 All   women   envy   me;   and   yet   sometimes   I   have
  envied   the   lot   of   a   toothless   old   woman   who;   when   I   was   a   child;   sold
  honey…cakes under one of the city gates。 Often has the idea flashed across
  my mind that only the poor are good; happy; and blessed; and that there
  must   be   great   gladness   in   living   humble   and   obscure。   Monk;   you   have
  agitated a storm in my soul; and brought to the surface that which lay at
  the bottom。 Who am I to believe; alas! and what is to become of meand
  what is life?〃
  Whilst     she   thus   spoke;     Paphnutius      was   transfigured;     celestial    joy
  beamed in his face。
  〃Listen!〃 he said。 〃I was not alone when I entered this house。 Another
  accompanied me; another who stands by my side。 Him thou canst not see;
  because thy eyes are yet unworthy to behold Him; but soon thou shalt see
  Him  in   all   His   glorious   splendour;   and   thou   wilt   say;   'He   alone   is   to   be
  adored。' But now; if He had not placed His gentle hands before my eyes; O
  Thais; I should perhaps have fallen into sin with thee; for of myself I am
  but   weak   and   sinful。   But   He   saved   us   both。   He   is   as   good   as   He     is
  powerful; and His name is the Saviour。 He was promised to the world; by
  David and the prophets; worshipped in His cradle by the shepherds and the
  magi; crucified by the Pharisees; buried by the holy women; revealed to
  the   world   by   the   apostles;   testified   to   by   the   martyrs。 And   now;   having
  learned   that thou   fearest   death;  O  woman;   He   has   come   to   thy  house   to
  prevent thee from dying。 Art Thou not here present with me; Jesus; at this
  moment; as Thou didst appear to the men of Galilee; in those wonderful
  days   when   the   stars;   which   came   down   with   thee   from  heaven;   were   so
  near the earth that the holy innocents could take them in their hands; when
  they played in their mothers' arms on the terraces of Bethlehem? Is it not
  true; Jesus; that Thou art here present; and that Thou showest me in reality
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