第 17 节
作者:
吻火 更新:2021-02-27 00:38 字数:9294
all at once his sight failed; and he could see nothing before him but a thick
cloud。 He thought that the hand of Jesus had been laid on his eyes; to hide
this woman from them。 Reassured by such succour; strengthened and
fortified; he said with a gravity worthy of an old hermit of the desert
〃If thou givest thyself to me; thinkest thou it is hidden from God?〃
She shook her head。
〃God? Who forces Him to keep His eye always upon the Grotto of
Nymphs? Let Him go away if we offend Him! But why should we offend
Him? Since He has created us; He can be neither angry nor surprised to
see us as He made us; and acting according to the nature He has given us。
56
… Page 57…
THAIS
A good deal too much is said on His behalf; and He is often credited with
ideas He never had。 You yourself; stranger; do you know His true
character? Who are you that you should speak to me in His name?〃
At this question the monk; opening his borrowed robe; showed the
cassock; and said
〃I am Paphnutius; Abbot of Antinoe; and I come from the holy desert。
The hand that drew Abraham from Chaldaea and Lot from Sodom has
separated me from the present age。 I no longer existed for the men of this
century。 But thy image appeared to me in my sandy Jerusalem; and I knew
that thou wert full of corruption; and death was in thee。 And now I am
before thee; woman; as before a grave; and I cry unto thee; 'Thais; arise!' 〃
At the words; Paphnutius; monk; and abbot; she had turned pale with
fright。 And now; with dishevelled hair and joined hands; weeping and
groaning; she dragged herself to the feet of the saint。
〃Do not hurt me! Why have you come? What do you want of me? Do
not hurt me! I know that the saints of the desert hate women who; like me;
are made to please。 I am afraid that you hate me; and want to hurt me。 Go!
I do not doubt your power。 But know; Paphnutius; that you should neither
despise me nor hate me。 I have never; like many of the men I know;
laughed at your voluntary poverty。 In your turn; do not make a crime of
my riches。 I am beautiful; and clever in acting。 I no more chose my
condition than my nature。 I was made for that which I do。 I was born to
charm men。 And you yourself; did you not say just now that you loved me?
Do not use your science against me。 Do not pronounce magic words which
would destroy my beauty; or change me into a statue of salt。 Do not terrify
me! I am already too frightened。 Do not kill me! I am so afraid of death。〃
He made a sign to her to rise; and said
〃Child; have no fear。 I will utter no word of shame or scorn。 I come on
behalf of Him who sat on the edge of the well; and drank of the pitcher
which the woman of Samaria offered to Him; and who; also; when He
supped at the house of Simon; received the perfumes of Mary。 I am not
without sin that I should throw the first stone。 I have often badly employed
the abundant grace which God has bestowed upon me。 It was not anger;
but pity; which took me by the hand to conduct me here。 I can; without
57
… Page 58…
THAIS
deceit; address thee in words of love; for it is the zeal in my heart which
has brought me to thee。 I burn with the fire of charity; and if thy eyes;
accustomed only to the gross sights of the flesh; could see things in their
mystic aspect; I should appear unto thee as a branch broken off the
burning bush which the Lord showed on the mountain to Moses of old;
that he might understand true lovethat which envelops us; and which; so
far from leaving behind it mere coals and ashes; purifies and perfumes for
ever that which it penetrates。〃
〃I believe you; monk; and no longer fear either deceit or ill…will from
you。 I have often heard talk of the hermits of the Thebaid。 Marvellous
things have been told concerning Anthony and Paul。 Your name is not
unknown to me; and I have heard say that; though you are still young; you
equal in virtue the oldest anchorites。 As soon as I saw you; and without
knowing who you were; I felt that you were no ordinary man。 Tell me! can
you do for me that which neither the priests of Isis; nor of Hermes; nor of
the celestial Juno; nor the Chaldean soothsayers; nor the Babylonian magi
have been able to effect? Monk; if you love me; can you prevent me from
dying?〃
〃Woman; whosoever wishes to live shall live。 Flee from the
abominable delights in which thou diest for ever。 Snatch from the devils;
who will burn it most horribly; that body which God kneaded with His
spittle and animated with his own breath。 Thou art consumed with
weariness; come; and refresh thyself at the blessed springs of solitude;
come and drink of those fountains which are hidden in the desert; and
which gush forth to heaven。 Careworn soul; come; and possess that which
thou desirest! Heart greedy for joy; come and taste true joyspoverty;
retirement; self…forgetfulness; seclusion in the bosom of God。 Enemy of
Christ now; and to…morrow His well…beloved; come to Him! Come; thou
whom I have sought; and thou wilt say; 'I have found love!' 〃
Thais seemed lost in meditation on things afar。
〃Monk;〃 she asked; 〃if I adjure all pleasures and do penance; is it true
that I shall be born again in heaven; my body intact in all its beauty?〃
〃Thais; I bring thee eternal life。 Believe me; for that which I announce
to thee is the truth。〃
58
… Page 59…
THAIS
〃Who will assure me that it is the truth?〃
〃David and the prophets; the Scriptures; and the wonders that thou
shalt behold。〃
〃Monk; I should like to believe you; for I must confess that I have not
found happiness in this world。 My lot in life is better than that of a queen;
and yet I have many bitternesses and misfortunes; and I am infinitely
weary of my existence。 All women envy me; and yet sometimes I have
envied the lot of a toothless old woman who; when I was a child; sold
honey…cakes under one of the city gates。 Often has the idea flashed across
my mind that only the poor are good; happy; and blessed; and that there
must be great gladness in living humble and obscure。 Monk; you have
agitated a storm in my soul; and brought to the surface that which lay at
the bottom。 Who am I to believe; alas! and what is to become of meand
what is life?〃
Whilst she thus spoke; Paphnutius was transfigured; celestial joy
beamed in his face。
〃Listen!〃 he said。 〃I was not alone when I entered this house。 Another
accompanied me; another who stands by my side。 Him thou canst not see;
because thy eyes are yet unworthy to behold Him; but soon thou shalt see
Him in all His glorious splendour; and thou wilt say; 'He alone is to be
adored。' But now; if He had not placed His gentle hands before my eyes; O
Thais; I should perhaps have fallen into sin with thee; for of myself I am
but weak and sinful。 But He saved us both。 He is as good as He is
powerful; and His name is the Saviour。 He was promised to the world; by
David and the prophets; worshipped in His cradle by the shepherds and the
magi; crucified by the Pharisees; buried by the holy women; revealed to
the world by the apostles; testified to by the martyrs。 And now; having
learned that thou fearest death; O woman; He has come to thy house to
prevent thee from dying。 Art Thou not here present with me; Jesus; at this
moment; as Thou didst appear to the men of Galilee; in those wonderful
days when the stars; which came down with thee from heaven; were so
near the earth that the holy innocents could take them in their hands; when
they played in their mothers' arms on the terraces of Bethlehem? Is it not
true; Jesus; that Thou art here present; and that Thou showest me in reality
59
… Page 60…