directly　such　a　matter　of　courseso　old…fashioned；　and　so　akin
  to　proverbs　that　it　inspires　exultation　rather　than　fear；　and　a
  sense　of　safety；　as　identified　with　the　aboriginal　and　the
  universal。　　But　no　words　may　express　the　imposing　certainty　of
  the　patient　that　he　is　realizing　the　primordial；　Adamic　surprise
  of　Life。
  〃Repetition　of　the　experience　finds　it　ever　the　same；　and　as　if
  it　could　not　possibly　be　otherwise。　　The　subject　resumes　his
  normal　consciousness　only　to　partially　and　fitfully　remember　its
  occurrence；　and　to　try　to　formulate　its　baffling　importwith
  only　this　consolatory　afterthought：　　that　he　has　known　the　oldest
  truth；　and　that　he　has　done　with　human　theories　as　to　the　origin；
  meaning；　or　destiny　of　the　race。　　He　is　beyond　instruction　in
  'spiritual　things。'
  〃The　lesson　is　one　of　central　safety：　　the　Kingdom　is　within。
  All　days　are　judgment　days：　　but　there　can　be　no　climacteric
  purpose　of　eternity；　nor　any　scheme　of　the　whole。　　The　astronomer
  abridges　the　row　of　bewildering　figures　by　increasing　his　unit　of
  measurement：　so　may　we　reduce　the　distracting　multiplicity　of
  things　to　the　unity　for　which　each　of　us　stands。
  〃This　has　been　my　moral　sustenance　since　I　have　known　of　it。　　In
  my　first　printed　mention　of　it　I　declared：　　'The　world　is　no　more
  the　alien　terror　that　was　taught　me。　　Spurning　the　cloud…grimed
  and　still　sultry　battlements　whence　so　lately　Jehovan　thunders
  boomed；　my　gray　gull　lifts　her　wing　against　the　nightfall；　and
  takes　the　dim　leagues　with　a　fearless　eye。'　And　now；　after
  twenty…seven　years　of　this　experience；　the　wing　is　grayer；　but
  the　eye　is　fearless　still；　while　I　renew　and　doubly　emphasize
  that　declaration。　　I　knowas　having　knownthe　meaning　of
  Existence：　　the　sane　centre　of　the　universe　at　once　the　wonder
  and　the　assurance　of　the　soulfor　which　the　speech　of　reason　has
  as　yet　no　name　but　the　Anaesthetic　Revelation。〃　I　have
  considerably　abridged　the　quotation。
  This　has　the　genuine　religious　mystic　ring！　I　just　now　quoted　J。
  A。　Symonds。　　He　also　records　a　mystical　experience　with
  chloroform；　as　follows：
  'After　the　choking　and　stifling　had　passed　away；　I　seemed　at
  first　in　a　state　of　utter　blankness；　then　came　flashes　of　intense
  light；　alternating　with　blackness；　and　with　a　keen　vision　of　what
  was　going　on　in　the　room　around　me；　but　no　sensation　of　touch。　I
  thought　that　I　was　near　death；　when；　suddenly；　my　soul　became
  aware　of　God；　who　was　manifestly　dealing　with　me；　handling　me；　so
  to　speak；　in　an　intense　personal　present　reality。　　I　felt　him
  streaming　in　like　light　upon　me。　。　。　。　　I　cannot　describe　the
  ecstasy　I　felt。　　Then；　as　I　gradually　awoke　from　the　influence　of
  the　anaesthetics；　the　old　sense　of　my　relation　to　the　world　began
  to　return；　the　new　sense　of　my　relation　to　God　began　to　fade。　　I
  suddenly　leapt　to　my　feet　on　the　chair　where　I　was　sitting；　and
  shrieked　out；　'It　is　too　horrible；　it　is　too　horrible；　it　is　too
  horrible；'　meaning　that　I　could　not　bear　this　disillusionment。
  Then　I　flung　myself　on　the　ground；　and　at　last　awoke　covered　with
  blood；　calling　to　the　two　surgeons　（who　were　frightened）；　'Why
  did　you　not　kill　me？　　Why　would　you　not　let　me　die？'　Only　think
  of　it。　　To　have　felt　for　that　long　dateless　ecstasy　of　vision　the
  very　God；　in　all　purity　and　tenderness　and　truth　and　absolute
  love；　and　then　to　find　that　I　had　after　all　had　no　revelation；
  but　that　I　had　been　tricked　by　the　abnormal　excitement　of　my
  brain。
  〃Yet；　this　question　remains；　Is　it　possible　that　the　inner　sense
  of　reality　which　succeeded；　when　my　flesh　was　dead　to　impressions
  from　without；　to　the　ordinary　sense　of　physical　relations；　was
  not　a　delusion　but　an　actual　experience？　　Is　it　possible　that　I；
  in　that　moment；　felt　what　some　of　the　saints　have　said　they
  always　felt；　the　undemonstrable　but　irrefragable　certainty　of
  God？〃＇235＇
  ＇235＇　Op。　cit。；　pp。　78…80；　abridged。　　I　subjoin；　also　abridging
  it；　another　interesting　anaesthetic　revelation　communicated　to　me
  in　manuscript　by　a　friend　in　England。　　The　subject；　a　gifted
  woman；　was　taking　ether　for　a　surgical　operation。
  〃I　wondered　if　I　was　in　a　prison　being　tortured；　and　why　I
  remembered　having　heard　it　said　that　people　'learn　through
  suffering；'　and　in　view　of　what　I　was　seeing；　the　inadequacy　of
  this　saying　struck　me　so　much　that　I　said；　aloud；　'to　suffer　IS
  to　learn。'
  〃With　that　I　became　unconscious　again；　and　my　last　dream
  immediately　preceded　my　real　coming　to。　　It　only　lasted　a　few
  seconds；　and　was　most　vivid　and　real　to　me；　though　it　may　not　be
  clear　in　words。
  〃A　great　Being　or　Power　was　traveling　through　the　sky；　his　foot
  was　on　a　kind　of　lightning　as　a　wheel　is　on　a　rail；　it　was　his
  pathway。　　The　lightning　was　made　entirely　of　the　spirits　of
  innumerable　people　close　to　one　another；　and　I　was　one　of　them。
  He　moved　in　a　straight　line；　and　each　part　of　the　streak　or　flash
  came　into　its　short　conscious　existence　only　that　he　might
  travel。　　I　seemed　to　be　directly　under　the　foot　of　God；　and　I
  thought　he　was　grinding　his　own　life　up　out　of　my　pain。　　Then　I
  saw　that　what　he　had　been　trying　with　all　his　might　to　do　was　to
  CHANGE　HIS　COURSE；　to　BEND　the　line　of　lightning　to　which　he　was
  tied；　in　the　direction　in　which　he　wanted　to　go。　　I　felt　my
  flexibility　and　helplessness；　and　knew　that　he　would　succeed。　He
  bended　me；　turning　his　corner　by　means　of　my　hurt；　hurting　me
  more　than　I　had　ever　been　hurt　in　my　life；　and　at　the　acutest
  point　of　this；　as　he　passed；　I　SAW。　　I　understood　for　a　moment
  things　that　I　have　now　forgotten；　things　that　no　one　could
  remember　while　retaining　sanity。　　The　angle　was　an　obtuse　angle；
  and　I　remember　thinking　as　I　woke　that　had　he　made　it　a　right　or
  acute　angle；　I　should　have　both　suffered　and　'seen'　still　more；
  and　should　probably　have　died。
  〃He　went　on　and　I　came　to。　　In　that　moment　the　whole　of　my　life
  passed　before　me；　including　each　little　meaningless　piece　of
  distress；　and　I　UNDERSTOOD　them。　　THIS　was　what　it　had　all　meant；
  THIS　was　the　piece　of　work　it　had　all　been　contributing　to　do。　　I
  did　not　see　God's　purpose；　I　only　saw　his　intentness　and　his
  entire　relentlessness　towards　his　means。　　He　thought　no　more　of
  me　than　a　man　thinks　of　hurting　a　cork　when　he　is　opening　wine；
  or　hurting　a　cartridge　when　he　is　firing。　　And　yet；　on　waking；　my
  first　feeling　was；　and　it　came　with　tears；　'Domine　non　sum
  digna；'　for　I　had　been　lifted　into　a　position　for　which　I　was　too
  small。　　I　realized　that　in　that　half　hour　under　ether　I　had
  served　God　more　distinctly　and　purely　than　I　had　ever　done　in　my
  life　before；　or　than　I　am　capable　of　desiring　to　do。　　I　was　the
  means　of　his　achieving　and　revealing　something；　I　know　not　what
  or　to　whom；　and　that；　to　the　exact　extent　of　my　capacity　for
  suffering。
  〃While　regaining　consciousness；　I　wondered　why；　since　I　had　gone
  so　deep；　I　had　seen　nothing　of　what　the　saints　call　the　LOVE　of
  God；　nothing　but　his　relentlessness。　　And　then　I　heard　an　answer；
  which　I　could　only　just　catch；　saying；　'Knowledge　and　Love　are
  One；　and　the　MEASURE　is　suffering'I　give　the　words　as　they　came
  to　me。　With　that　I　came　finally　to　（into　what　seemed　a　dream
  world　compared　with　the　reality　of　what　I　was　leaving）；　and　I　saw
  that　what　would　be　called　the　'cause'　of　my　experience　was　a
  slight　operation　under　insufficient　ether；　in　a　bed　pushed　up
  against　a　window；　a　common　city　window　in　a　common　city　street。
  If　I　had　to　formulate　a　few　of　the　things　I　then　caught　a　glimpse
  of；　they　would　run　somewhat　as　follows：
  〃The　eternal　necessity　of　suffering　and　its　eternal
  vicariousness。　The　veiled　and　incommunicable　nature　of　the　worst
  sufferings；the　passivity　of　genius；　how　it　is　essentially
  instrumental　and　defenseless；　moved；　not　moving；　it　must　do　what
  it　does；the　impossibility　of　discovery　without　its
  price；finally；　the　excess　of　what　the　suffering　'seer'　or
  genius　pays　over　what　his　generation　gains。　　（He　seems　like　one
  who　sweats　his　life　out　to　earn　enough　to　save　a　district　from
  famine；　and　just　as　he　staggers　back；　dying　and　satisfied；
  bringing　a　lac　of　rupees　to　buy　grain　with；　God　lifts　the　lac
  away；　dropping　ONE　rupee；　and　says；　'That　you　may　give　them。
  That　you　have　earned　for　them。　　The　rest　is　for　ME。'）　I　perceived
  also　in　a　way　never　to　be　forgotten；　the　excess　of　what　we　see