第 24 节
作者:悟来悟去      更新:2021-02-25 00:56      字数:9321
  patient voice; 〃I have not lost a minute by the way。〃
  〃Bah! because no one will ask thee to turn in with them anywhere!〃
  she continued。 〃If thou wert like everybody else thou wouldst have many a
  friend to pass thy time with。 It is hard for me; thy mother; to have brought
  thee into the world that all the world should despise and hate thee; as they
  do this day。 Monsieur le Cure says there is no hope for thee if thou art so
  obstinate;     thou   must   go   to  hell;  though    I  named    thee   after  our   great
  archangel   St。   Michel;   and   brought   thee   up   as   a   good   Christian。   /Quel
  malheur!/ How hard it is for me to lie in bed all day; and think of my son
  in the flames of hell!〃
  Very quietly; as if he had heard such complainings hundreds of times
  before; did Michel set about kindling a few sticks upon the open hearth。
  This was so common a welcome home that he scarcely heard it; and had
  ceased to heed it。 The room; as the flickering light fell upon it; was one of
  the cheerless and comfortless chambers to be seen in any peasant's house:
  a pile of wood in one corner; a single table with a chair or two; a shelf with
  a few pieces of brown crockery; and the bed on which the paralytic woman
  was   lying;   her   hands   crossed   over   her   breast;   and   her   bright   black   eyes
  glistening in the gloom。 Michel brought her the soup he had made; and fed
  her carefully and tenderly; before thinking of satisfying his own hunger。
  〃It is of no good; Michel;〃 she said; when he laid her down again upon
  the pillow he had made smooth for her; 〃it is of no good。 Thou mayest as
  well leave me to perish; it will not weigh for thee。 Monsieur le Cure says
  if thou hadst been born a heretic perhaps the good God might have taken it
  into account。 But thou wert born a Christian; as good a Christian as all the
  world; and thou hast sold thy birthright to the devil。 Leave me then; and
  take thy pleasure in this life; for thou wilt have nothing but misery in the
  next。〃
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  〃I will not leave theenever!〃 he answered; briefly。 〃I have no fear of
  the next world。〃
  He was a man of few words evidently。 Perhaps the silence maintained
  around him had partly frozen his power of speech。 Even to his mother he
  spoke but little; though her complaining went on without ceasing; until he
  extinguished both fire and lamp; and climbed the rude ladder into the loft
  overhead; where her voice never failed to rouse him from his sleep; if she
  only   called   〃Michel!〃   He   could   not   clearly   explain   his   position   even   to
  himself。 He had gone to Paris many years before; where he came across
  some      Protestants;    who    had   taught    him    to  read   the   Testament;     and
  instructed him in their religion。 The new faith had taken hold of him; and
  thrust   deep   roots   into   his   simple   and   constant   nature;   though   he   had   no
  words at command to express the change to others; and scarcely to himself。
  So long as he had been in Paris there had been no need of this。
  But now his father's death had compelled him to return to his native
  place; and to the little knot of people who knew him as old Pierre Lorio's
  son; a fisherman like themselves; with no more right to read or think than
  they had。 The fierceness of the persecution he encountered filled him with
  dismay; though it had not shaken his fidelity to his new faith。 But often a
  dumb;     inarticulate    longing    possessed     him   to  make    known     to  his   old
  neighbours   the   reason   of   the   change   in   him;   but   speech   failed   him。   He
  could only stammer out his confession; 〃I am no longer a Catholic; I am a
  Protestant; I cannot pray to the saints; not even to the archangel St。 Michel
  or   the   Blessed    Virgin。    I  pray   only   to  God。〃    For   anything     else;  for
  explanation; and for all argument; he had no more language than the mute;
  wistful language one sees in the eyes of dumb creatures; when they gaze
  fully at us。
  Perhaps there is nothing more pitiful than the painful want of words to
  express that which   lies deepest within us; a  want common to   us all;  but
  greatest in those who have had no training in thus shaping and expressing
  their inmost thoughts。
  There was not much to fear from a man like this。 Michel Lorio was a
  living lesson against apostasy。 As he went up and down the street; and in
  and out of the gate; his loneliness and dejection spoke more eloquently for
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  the old faith than any banishment could have done。 Michel was suffered to
  remain   under   a   ban;   not   formal   and   ceremonial;   but   a   tacit   ban;   which
  quite as effectively set him apart; and made his life more solitary than if he
  had been dwelling alone on a desert rock out at sea。
  Michel accepted his lot without complaint and without bitterness。 He
  never passed Monsieur le Cure without a salutation。 When he went daily
  for   water   to   the   great   cistern   of   the   monastery;   he   was   always   ready   to
  carry   the   brimful   pails   too   heavy   for   the   arms   of   the   old   women   and
  children。   If   he   had   leisure   he   mounted   the   long   flights   of   grass…grown
  steps three or four times for his neighbours; depositing his burden at their
  doors;   without   a   word   of   thanks   for   his   help   being   vouchsafed   to   him。
  Now   and   then   he   overheard   a   sneer   at   his   usefulness;   and   his   mother
  taunted   him   often   for   his   patience   and   forbearance。   But   he   went   on   his
  way silently with deeper yearning for human love and sympathy than he
  could make known。
  If   it   had   not   been   that;   when   he   was   kneeling   at   the   rude   dormer…
  window of   his   loft   and   gazing   dreamily  across   the   wide   sweep   of   sand;
  with the moon shining across it and the solemn stars lighting up the sky;
  he was at times vaguely conscious of an influence; almost a presence; as
  of a hand that touched him and a voice that spoke to him; he must have
  sunk   under   this   intense   longing   for   love   and   fellowship。   Had   he   been   a
  Catholic still; he would have believed that the archangel St。 Michel was
  near   and   about   to   manifest   himself   as   in   former   times   in   his   splendid
  shrine     upon     the   Mont。    The    new     faith   had   not   cast    out   all  the   old
  superstitious       nature;    yet   it  was    this   vague     spiritual    presence     which
  supported   him  under   the   crushing   and   unnatural   conditions   of   his   social
  life。 He endured; as seeing one who is invisible。
  Yet at other times he could not keep his feet away from the little street
  where   all   the   life   there   was   might   be   found。   At   night   he   would   creep
  cautiously   along   the   ramparts   and   descend   by   a   quiet   staircase   into   an
  angle of the walls; where he could look on unseen upon the gathering of
  townsfolk   in   the   inn   where   he   had   often   gone   with   his   father   in   earlier
  days。 The landlord; Nicolas; was a most bitter enemy now。 There was the
  familiar room  filled with bright light   from  an oil…   lamp and   the brighter
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  flicker of a wood fire where the landlord's wife was cooking。 A deep; low
  recess in the corner; with a crimson valance stretched across it; held a bed
  with   snow…white   pillows;  upon   one   of   which   rested   a   child's   curly   head
  with eyes fast sealed against the glare of the lamp。 At a table close by sat
  the landlord and three or four of the wealthier men of the Mont busily and
  seriously   eating   the   omelets   and   fried   fish   served   to   them   from   the   pan
  over the fire。
  The copper and brass   cooking utensils glittered in   the light from  the
  walls where they hung。 It was a cheery scene; and Michel would stand in
  his cold; dark corner; watching it until all was over and the guests ready to
  depart。
  〃Thou art Michel /le diable/!〃 said a childish voice to him one evening;
  and he felt   a small;  warm hand   laid for   an instant   upon his   own。 It   was
  Delphine; Nicolas's eldest girl; a daring child; full of spirit and courage;
  yet even she shrank back a step or two after touching him; and stood as if
  ready to take flight。
  〃I   am  Michel   Lorio;〃   he   answered;   in   a   quiet; pleasant   voice;   which
  won her back to his side。 〃Why dost