第 12 节
作者:
老山文学 更新:2021-02-25 00:24 字数:9321
people must be talking of me; I would have it to be justly and truly; I
would come again; with all my heart; from the other world to give any one
the lie who should report me other than I was; though he did it to honour
me。 I perceive that people represent; even living men; quite another
thing than what they really are; and had I not stoutly defended a friend
whom I have lost;'De la Boetie。' they would have torn him into a
thousand contrary pieces。
To conclude the account of my poor humours; I confess that in my travels
I seldom reach my inn but that it comes into my mind to consider whether
I could there be sick and dying at my ease。 I desire to be lodged in
some private part of the house; remote from all noise; ill scents; and
smoke。 I endeavour to flatter death by these frivolous circumstances;
or; to say better; to discharge myself from all other incumbrances; that
I may have nothing to do; nor be troubled with anything but that which
will lie heavy enough upon me without any other load。 I would have my
death share in the ease and conveniences of my life; 'tis a great part of
it; and of great importance; and I hope it will not in the future
contradict the past。 Death has some forms that are more easy than
others; and receives divers qualities; according to every one's fancy。
Amongst the natural deaths; that which proceeds from weakness and stupor
I think the most favourable; amongst those that are violent; I can worse
endure to think of a precipice than of the fall of a house that will
crush me in a moment; and of a wound with a sword than of a harquebus
shot; I should rather have chosen to poison myself with Socrates; than
stab myself with Cato。 And; though it; be all one; yet my imagination
makes as great a difference as betwixt death and life; betwixt throwing
myself into a burning furnace and plunging into the channel of a river:
so idly does our fear more concern itself in the means than the effect。
It is but an instant; 'tis true; but withal an instant of such weight;
that I would willingly give a great many days of my life to pass it over
after my own fashion。 Since every one's imagination renders it more or
less terrible; and since every one has some choice amongst the several
forms of dying; let us try a little further to find some one that is
wholly clear from all offence。 Might not one render it even voluptuous;
like the Commoyientes of Antony and Cleopatra? I set aside the brave and
exemplary efforts produced by philosophy and religion; but; amongst men
of little mark there have been found some; such as Petronius and
Tigellinus at Rome; condemned to despatch themselves; who have; as it
were; rocked death asleep with the delicacy of their preparations; they
have made it slip and steal away in the height of their accustomed
diversions amongst girls and good fellows; not a word of consolation; no
mention of making a will; no ambitious affectation of constancy; no talk
of their future condition; amongst sports; feastings; wit; and mirth;
common and indifferent discourses; music; and amorous verses。 Were it
not possible for us to imitate this resolution after a more decent
manner? Since there are deaths that are good for fools; deaths good for
the wise; let us find out such as are fit for those who are betwixt both。
My imagination suggests to me one that is easy; and; since we must die;
to be desired。 The Roman tyrants thought they did; in a manner; give a
criminal life when they gave him the choice of his death。 But was not
Theophrastus; that so delicate; so modest; and so wise a philosopher;
compelled by reason; when he durst say this verse; translated by Cicero:
〃Vitam regit fortuna; non sapientia?〃
'〃Fortune; not wisdom; sways human life。〃
Cicero; Tusc。 Quaes。; V。 31。'
Fortune assists the facility of the bargain of my life; having placed it
in such a condition that for the future it can be neither advantage nor
hindrance to those who are concerned in me; 'tis a condition that I would
have accepted at any time of my life; but in this occasion of trussing up
my baggage; I am particularly pleased that in dying I shall neither do
them good nor harm。 She has so ordered it; by a cunning compensation;
that they who may pretend to any considerable advantage by my death will;
at the same time; sustain a material inconvenience。 Death sometimes is
more grievous to us; in that it is grievous to others; and interests us
in their interest as much as in our own; and sometimes more。
In this conveniency of lodging that I desire; I mix nothing of pomp and
amplitudeI hate it rather; but a certain plain neatness; which is
oftenest found in places where there is less of art; and that Nature has
adorned with some grace that is all her own:
〃Non ampliter; sea munditer convivium。〃
'〃To eat not largely; but cleanly。〃Nepos; Life of Atticus; c。 13'
〃Plus salis quam sumptus。〃
'〃Rather enough than costly (More wit than cost)〃Nonius; xi。 19。'
And besides; 'tis for those whose affairs compel them to travel in the
depth of winter through the Grisons country to be surprised upon the way
with great inconveniences。 I; who; for the most part; travel for my
pleasure; do not order my affairs so ill。 If the way be foul on my right
hand; I turn on my left; if I find myself unfit to ride; I stay where I
am; and; so doing; in earnest I see nothing that is not as pleasant and
commodious as my own house。 'Tis true that I always find superfluity
superfluous; and observe a kind of trouble even in abundance itself。
Have I left anything behind me unseen; I go back to see it; 'tis still on
my way; I trace no certain line; either straight or crooked。 'Rousseau
has translated this passage in his Emile; book v。' Do I not find in the
place to which I go what was reported to meas it often falls out that
the judgments of others do not jump with mine; and that I have found
their reports for the most part falseI never complain of losing my
labour: I have; at least; informed myself that what was told me was not
true。
I have a constitution of body as free; and a palate as indifferent; as
any man living: the diversity of manners of several nations only affects
me in the pleasure of variety: every usage has its reason。 Let the plate
and dishes be pewter; wood; or earth; my meat be boiled or roasted; let
them give me butter or oil; of nuts or olives; hot or cold; 'tis all one
to me; and so indifferent; that growing old; I accuse this generous
faculty; and would wish that delicacy and choice should correct the
indiscretion of my appetite; and sometimes soothe my stomach。 When I
have been abroad out of France and that people; out of courtesy; have
asked me if I would be served after the French manner; I laughed at the
question; and always frequented tables the most filled with foreigners。
I am ashamed to see our countrymen besotted with this foolish humour of
quarrelling with forms contrary to their own; they seem to be out of
their element when out of their own village: wherever they go; they keep
to their own fashions and abominate those of strangers。 Do they meet
with a compatriot in Hungary? O the happy chance! They are henceforward
inseparable; they cling together; and their whole discourse is to condemn
the barbarous manners they see about them。 Why barbarous; because they
are not French? And those have made the best use of their travels who
have observed most to speak against。 Most of them go for no other end
but to come back again; they proceed in their travel with vast gravity
and circumspection; with a silent and incommunicable prudence; preserving
themselves from the contagion of an unknown air。 What I am saying of
them puts me in mind of something like it I have at times observed in
some of our young courtiers; they will not mix with any but men of their
own sort; and look upon us as men of another world; with disdain or pity。
Put them upon any discourse but the intrigues of the court; and they are
utterly at a loss; as very owls and novices to us as we are to them。
'Tis truly said that a well…bred man is a compound man。 I; on the
contrary; travel very much sated with our own fashions; I do not look for
Gascons in Sicily; I have left enough of them at home; I rather seek for
Greeks and Persians; they are the men I endeavour to be acquainted with
and the men I study; 'tis there that I bestow and employ myself。 And
which is more; I fancy that I have met but with few customs that are not
as good as our own; I have not; I confess; travelled very far; scarce out
of the sight of the vanes of my own house。
As to the rest; most of the accidental company a man falls into upon the
road beget him more trouble than pleasure; I waive them as much as I
civilly can; especially now that age seems in some sort to privilege and
sequester me from the common forms。 You suffer for others or others
suffer for you; both of them inconveniences of importance enough; but the
latter appears to me the greater。 'Tis a rare fortune; but of
inestimable solace; to have a worthy man; one of a sound judgment and of
manners conformable