第 12 节
作者:老山文学      更新:2021-02-25 00:24      字数:9321
  people must be talking of me; I would have it to be justly and truly; I
  would come again; with all my heart; from the other world to give any one
  the lie who should report me other than I was; though he did it to honour
  me。  I perceive that people represent; even living men; quite another
  thing than what they really are; and had I not stoutly defended a friend
  whom I have lost;'De la Boetie。' they would have torn him into a
  thousand contrary pieces。
  To conclude the account of my poor humours; I confess that in my travels
  I seldom reach my inn but that it comes into my mind to consider whether
  I could there be sick and dying at my ease。  I desire to be lodged in
  some private part of the house; remote from all noise; ill scents; and
  smoke。  I endeavour to flatter death by these frivolous circumstances;
  or; to say better; to discharge myself from all other incumbrances; that
  I may have nothing to do; nor be troubled with anything but that which
  will lie heavy enough upon me without any other load。  I would have my
  death share in the ease and conveniences of my life; 'tis a great part of
  it; and of great importance; and I hope it will not in the future
  contradict the past。  Death has some forms that are more easy than
  others; and receives divers qualities; according to every one's fancy。
  Amongst the natural deaths; that which proceeds from weakness and stupor
  I think the most favourable; amongst those that are violent; I can worse
  endure to think of a precipice than of the fall of a house that will
  crush me in a moment; and of a wound with a sword than of a harquebus
  shot; I should rather have chosen to poison myself with Socrates; than
  stab myself with Cato。  And; though it; be all one; yet my imagination
  makes as great a difference as betwixt death and life; betwixt throwing
  myself into a burning furnace and plunging into the channel of a river:
  so idly does our fear more concern itself in the means than the effect。
  It is but an instant; 'tis true; but withal an instant of such weight;
  that I would willingly give a great many days of my life to pass it over
  after my own fashion。  Since every one's imagination renders it more or
  less terrible; and since every one has some choice amongst the several
  forms of dying; let us try a little further to find some one that is
  wholly clear from all offence。  Might not one render it even voluptuous;
  like the Commoyientes of Antony and Cleopatra?  I set aside the brave and
  exemplary efforts produced by philosophy and religion; but; amongst men
  of little mark there have been found some; such as Petronius and
  Tigellinus at Rome; condemned to despatch themselves; who have; as it
  were; rocked death asleep with the delicacy of their preparations; they
  have made it slip and steal away in the height of their accustomed
  diversions amongst girls and good fellows; not a word of consolation; no
  mention of making a will; no ambitious affectation of constancy; no talk
  of their future condition; amongst sports; feastings; wit; and mirth;
  common and indifferent discourses; music; and amorous verses。  Were it
  not possible for us to imitate this resolution after a more decent
  manner?  Since there are deaths that are good for fools; deaths good for
  the wise; let us find out such as are fit for those who are betwixt both。
  My imagination suggests to me one that is easy; and; since we must die;
  to be desired。  The Roman tyrants thought they did; in a manner; give a
  criminal life when they gave him the choice of his death。  But was not
  Theophrastus; that so delicate; so modest; and so wise a philosopher;
  compelled by reason; when he durst say this verse; translated by Cicero:
  〃Vitam regit fortuna; non sapientia?〃
  '〃Fortune; not wisdom; sways human life。〃
  Cicero; Tusc。  Quaes。; V。 31。'
  Fortune assists the facility of the bargain of my life; having placed it
  in such a condition that for the future it can be neither advantage nor
  hindrance to those who are concerned in me; 'tis a condition that I would
  have accepted at any time of my life; but in this occasion of trussing up
  my baggage; I am particularly pleased that in dying I shall neither do
  them good nor harm。  She has so ordered it; by a cunning compensation;
  that they who may pretend to any considerable advantage by my death will;
  at the same time; sustain a material inconvenience。  Death sometimes is
  more grievous to us; in that it is grievous to others; and interests us
  in their interest as much as in our own; and sometimes more。
  In this conveniency of lodging that I desire; I mix nothing of pomp and
  amplitudeI hate it rather; but a certain plain neatness; which is
  oftenest found in places where there is less of art; and that Nature has
  adorned with some grace that is all her own:
  〃Non ampliter; sea munditer convivium。〃
  '〃To eat not largely; but cleanly。〃Nepos; Life of Atticus; c。 13'
  〃Plus salis quam sumptus。〃
  '〃Rather enough than costly (More wit than cost)〃Nonius; xi。 19。'
  And besides; 'tis for those whose affairs compel them to travel in the
  depth of winter through the Grisons country to be surprised upon the way
  with great inconveniences。  I; who; for the most part; travel for my
  pleasure; do not order my affairs so ill。  If the way be foul on my right
  hand; I turn on my left; if I find myself unfit to ride; I stay where I
  am; and; so doing; in earnest I see nothing that is not as pleasant and
  commodious as my own house。  'Tis true that I always find superfluity
  superfluous; and observe a kind of trouble even in abundance itself。
  Have I left anything behind me unseen; I go back to see it; 'tis still on
  my way; I trace no certain line; either straight or crooked。 'Rousseau
  has translated this passage in his Emile; book v。' Do I not find in the
  place to which I go what was reported to meas it often falls out that
  the judgments of others do not jump with mine; and that I have found
  their reports for the most part falseI never complain of losing my
  labour: I have; at least; informed myself that what was told me was not
  true。
  I have a constitution of body as free; and a palate as indifferent; as
  any man living: the diversity of manners of several nations only affects
  me in the pleasure of variety: every usage has its reason。  Let the plate
  and dishes be pewter; wood; or earth; my meat be boiled or roasted; let
  them give me butter or oil; of nuts or olives; hot or cold; 'tis all one
  to me; and so indifferent; that growing old; I accuse this generous
  faculty; and would wish that delicacy and choice should correct the
  indiscretion of my appetite; and sometimes soothe my stomach。  When I
  have been abroad out of France and that people; out of courtesy; have
  asked me if I would be served after the French manner; I laughed at the
  question; and always frequented tables the most filled with foreigners。
  I am ashamed to see our countrymen besotted with this foolish humour of
  quarrelling with forms contrary to their own; they seem to be out of
  their element when out of their own village: wherever they go; they keep
  to their own fashions and abominate those of strangers。  Do they meet
  with a compatriot in Hungary?  O the happy chance!  They are henceforward
  inseparable; they cling together; and their whole discourse is to condemn
  the barbarous manners they see about them。  Why barbarous; because they
  are not French?  And those have made the best use of their travels who
  have observed most to speak against。  Most of them go for no other end
  but to come back again; they proceed in their travel with vast gravity
  and circumspection; with a silent and incommunicable prudence; preserving
  themselves from the contagion of an unknown air。  What I am saying of
  them puts me in mind of something like it I have at times observed in
  some of our young courtiers; they will not mix with any but men of their
  own sort; and look upon us as men of another world; with disdain or pity。
  Put them upon any discourse but the intrigues of the court; and they are
  utterly at a loss; as very owls and novices to us as we are to them。
  'Tis truly said that a well…bred man is a compound man。  I; on the
  contrary; travel very much sated with our own fashions; I do not look for
  Gascons in Sicily; I have left enough of them at home; I rather seek for
  Greeks and Persians; they are the men I endeavour to be acquainted with
  and the men I study; 'tis there that I bestow and employ myself。  And
  which is more; I fancy that I have met but with few customs that are not
  as good as our own; I have not; I confess; travelled very far; scarce out
  of the sight of the vanes of my own house。
  As to the rest; most of the accidental company a man falls into upon the
  road beget him more trouble than pleasure; I waive them as much as I
  civilly can; especially now that age seems in some sort to privilege and
  sequester me from the common forms。  You suffer for others or others
  suffer for you; both of them inconveniences of importance enough; but the
  latter appears to me the greater。  'Tis a rare fortune; but of
  inestimable solace; to have a worthy man; one of a sound judgment and of
  manners conformable