第 7 节
作者:
老山文学 更新:2021-02-25 00:24 字数:9322
or my own: for what if I were another kind of man? If my deportment; and
the frankness of my conversation or relationship; oblige my neighbours;
'tis that that they should acquit themselves of obligation in only
permitting me to live; and they may say; 〃We allow him the free liberty
of having divine service read in his own private chapel; when it is
interdicted in all churches round about; and allow him the use of his
goods and his life; as one who protects our wives and cattle in time of
need。〃 For my house has for many descents shared in the reputation of
Lycurgus the Athenian; who was the general depository and guardian of the
purses of his fellow…citizens。 Now I am clearly of opinion that a man
should live by right and by authority; and not either by recompense or
favour。 How many gallant men have rather chosen to lose their lives than
to be debtors for them? I hate to subject myself to any sort of
obligation; but above all; to that which binds me by the duty of honour。
I think nothing so dear as what has been given me; and this because my
will lies at pawn under the title of gratitude; and more willingly accept
of services that are to be sold; I feel that for the last I give nothing
but money; but for the other I give myself。
The knot that binds me by the laws of courtesy binds me more than that of
civil constraint; I am much more at ease when bound by a scrivener; than
by myself。 Is it not reason that my conscience should be much more
engaged when men simply rely upon it? In a bond; my faith owes nothing;
because it has nothing lent it; let them trust to the security they have
taken without me。 I had much rather break the wall of a prison and the
laws themselves than my own word。 I am nice; even to superstition; in
keeping my promises; and; therefore; upon all occasions have a care to
make them uncertain and conditional。 To those of no great moment; I add
the jealousy of my own rule; to make them weight; it wracks and oppresses
me with its own interest。 Even in actions wholly my own and free; if I
once say a thing; I conceive that I have bound myself; and that
delivering it to the knowledge of another; I have positively enjoined it
my own performance。 Methinks I promise it; if I but say it: and
therefore am not apt to say much of that kind。 The sentence that I pass
upon myself is more severe than that of a judge; who only considers the
common obligation; but my conscience looks upon it with a more severe and
penetrating eye。 I lag in those duties to which I should be compelled if
I did not go:
〃Hoc ipsum ita justum est; quod recte fit; si est voluntarium。〃
'〃This itself is so far just; that it is rightly done; if it is
voluntary。〃Cicero; De Offic。; i。 9。'
If the action has not some splendour of liberty; it has neither grace nor
honour:
〃Quod vos jus cogit; vix voluntate impetrent:〃
'〃That which the laws compel us to do; we scarcely do with a will。〃
Terence; Adelph。; iii。 3; 44。
where necessity draws me; I love to let my will take its own course:
〃Quia quicquid imperio cogitur; exigenti magis;
quam praestanti; acceptum refertur。〃
'〃For whatever is compelled by power; is more imputed to him that
exacts than to him that performs。〃Valerius Maximus; ii。 2; 6。'
I know some who follow this rule; even to injustice; who will sooner give
than restore; sooner lend than pay; and will do them the least good to
whom they are most obliged。 I don't go so far as that; but I'm not far
off。
I so much love to disengage and disobligate myself; that I have sometimes
looked upon ingratitudes; affronts; and indignities which I have received
from those to whom either by nature or accident I was bound in some way
of friendship; as an advantage to me; taking this occasion of their ill…
usage; for an acquaintance and discharge of so much of my debt。 And
though I still continue to pay them all the external offices of public
reason; I; notwithstanding; find a great saving in doing that upon the
account of justice which I did upon the score of affection; and am a
little eased of the attention and solicitude of my inward will:
〃Est prudentis sustinere; ut currum; sic impetum benevolentia;〃
'〃'Tis the part of a wise man to keep a curbing hand upon the
impetus of friendship; as upon that of his horse。〃
Cicero; De Amicit。; c。 17。'
'tis in me; too urging and pressing where I take; at least; for a man who
loves not to be strained at all。 And this husbanding my friendship
serves me for a sort of consolation in the imperfections of those in whom
I am concerned。 I am very sorry they are not such as I could wish they
were; but then I also am spared somewhat of my application and engagement
towards them。 I approve of a man who is the less fond of his child for
having a scald head; or for being crooked; and not only when he is ill…
conditioned; but also when he is of unhappy disposition; and imperfect in
his limbs (God himself has abated so much from his value and natural
estimation); provided he carry himself in this coldness of affection with
moderation and exact justice: proximity; with me; lessens not defects;
but rather aggravates them。
After all; according to what I understand in the science of benefit and
acknowledgment; which is a subtle science; and of great use; I know no
person whatever more free and less indebted than I am at this hour。 What
I do owe is simply to foreign obligations and benefits; as to anything
else; no man is more absolutely clear:
〃Nec sunt mihi nota potentum
Munera。〃
'〃The gifts of great men are unknown to me。〃AEneid; xii。 529。'
Princes give me a great deal if they take nothing from me; and do me good
enough if they do me no harm; that's all I ask from them。 O how am I
obliged to God; that he has been pleased I should immediately receive
from his bounty all I have; and specially reserved all my obligation to
himself。 How earnestly do I beg of his holy compassion that I may never
owe essential thanks to any one。 O happy liberty wherein I have thus far
lived。 May it continue with me to the last。 I endeavour to have no
express need of any one:
〃In me omnis spec est mihi。〃
'〃All my hope is in myself。〃Terence; Adelph。; iii。 5; 9。'
'Tis what every one may do in himself; but more easily they whom God has
placed in a condition exempt from natural and urgent necessities。 It is
a wretched and dangerous thing to depend upon others; we ourselves; in
whom is ever the most just and safest dependence; are not sufficiently
sure。
I have nothing mine but myself; and yet the possession is; in part;
defective and borrowed。 I fortify myself both in courage; which is the
strongest assistant; and also in fortune; therein wherewith to satisfy
myself; though everything else should forsake me。 Hippias of Elis not
only furnished himself with knowledge; that he might; at need; cheerfully
retire from all other company to enjoy the Muses: nor only with the
knowledge of philosophy; to teach his soul to be contented with itself;
and bravely to subsist without outward conveniences; when fate would have
it so; he was; moreover; so careful as to learn to cook; to shave
himself; to make his own clothes; his own shoes and drawers; to provide
for all his necessities in himself; and to wean himself from the
assistance of others。 A man more freely and cheerfully enjoys borrowed
conveniences; when it is not an enjoyment forced and constrained by need;
and when he has; in his own will and fortune; the means to live without
them。 I know myself very well; but 'tis hard for me to imagine any so
pure liberality of any one towards me; any so frank and free hospitality;
that would not appear to me discreditable; tyrannical; and tainted with
reproach; if necessity had reduced me to it。 As giving is an ambitious
and authoritative quality; so is accepting a quality of submission;
witness the insulting and quarrelsome refusal that Bajazet made of the
presents that Tamerlane sent him; and those that were offered on the part
of the Emperor Solyman to the Emperor of Calicut; so angered him; that he
not only rudely rejected them; saying that neither he nor any of his
predecessors had ever been wont to take; and that it was their office to
give; but; moreover; caused the ambassadors sent with the gifts to be put
into a dungeon。 When Thetis; says Aristotle; flatters Jupiter; when the
Lacedaemonians flatter the Athenians; they do not put them in mind of the
good they have done them; which is always odious; but of the benefits
they have received from them。 Such as I see so frequently employ every
one in their affairs; and thrust themselves into so much obligation;
would never do it; did they but relish as I do the sweetness of a pure
liberty; and did they but weigh; as wise: men should; the burden of
obligation: 'tis sometimes; peradventure; fully paid; but 'tis never
dissolved。 'Tis a miserable slavery to a man who loves to be at full
liberty in all reapects。 Such as know me; both above and below me in
station; are able to say whether the