第 7 节
作者:老山文学      更新:2021-02-25 00:24      字数:9322
  or my own: for what if I were another kind of man?  If my deportment; and
  the frankness of my conversation or relationship; oblige my neighbours;
  'tis that that they should acquit themselves of obligation in only
  permitting me to live; and they may say; 〃We allow him the free liberty
  of having divine service read in his own private chapel; when it is
  interdicted in all churches round about; and allow him the use of his
  goods and his life; as one who protects our wives and cattle in time of
  need。〃  For my house has for many descents shared in the reputation of
  Lycurgus the Athenian; who was the general depository and guardian of the
  purses of his fellow…citizens。  Now I am clearly of opinion that a man
  should live by right and by authority; and not either by recompense or
  favour。  How many gallant men have rather chosen to lose their lives than
  to be debtors for them?  I hate to subject myself to any sort of
  obligation; but above all; to that which binds me by the duty of honour。
  I think nothing so dear as what has been given me; and this because my
  will lies at pawn under the title of gratitude; and more willingly accept
  of services that are to be sold; I feel that for the last I give nothing
  but money; but for the other I give myself。
  The knot that binds me by the laws of courtesy binds me more than that of
  civil constraint; I am much more at ease when bound by a scrivener; than
  by myself。  Is it not reason that my conscience should be much more
  engaged when men simply rely upon it?  In a bond; my faith owes nothing;
  because it has nothing lent it; let them trust to the security they have
  taken without me。  I had much rather break the wall of a prison and the
  laws themselves than my own word。  I am nice; even to superstition; in
  keeping my promises; and; therefore; upon all occasions have a care to
  make them uncertain and conditional。  To those of no great moment; I add
  the jealousy of my own rule; to make them weight; it wracks and oppresses
  me with its own interest。  Even in actions wholly my own and free; if I
  once say a thing; I conceive that I have bound myself; and that
  delivering it to the knowledge of another; I have positively enjoined it
  my own performance。  Methinks I promise it; if I but say it: and
  therefore am not apt to say much of that kind。  The sentence that I pass
  upon myself is more severe than that of a judge; who only considers the
  common obligation; but my conscience looks upon it with a more severe and
  penetrating eye。  I lag in those duties to which I should be compelled if
  I did not go:
  〃Hoc ipsum ita justum est; quod recte fit; si est voluntarium。〃
  '〃This itself is so far just; that it is rightly done; if it is
  voluntary。〃Cicero; De Offic。; i。 9。'
  If the action has not some splendour of liberty; it has neither grace nor
  honour:
  〃Quod vos jus cogit; vix voluntate impetrent:〃
  '〃That which the laws compel us to do; we scarcely do with a will。〃
  Terence; Adelph。; iii。 3; 44。
  where necessity draws me; I love to let my will take its own course:
  〃Quia quicquid imperio cogitur; exigenti magis;
  quam praestanti; acceptum refertur。〃
  '〃For whatever is compelled by power; is more imputed to him that
  exacts than to him that performs。〃Valerius Maximus; ii。 2; 6。'
  I know some who follow this rule; even to injustice; who will sooner give
  than restore; sooner lend than pay; and will do them the least good to
  whom they are most obliged。  I don't go so far as that; but I'm not far
  off。
  I so much love to disengage and disobligate myself; that I have sometimes
  looked upon ingratitudes; affronts; and indignities which I have received
  from those to whom either by nature or accident I was bound in some way
  of friendship; as an advantage to me; taking this occasion of their ill…
  usage; for an acquaintance and discharge of so much of my debt。  And
  though I still continue to pay them all the external offices of public
  reason; I; notwithstanding; find a great saving in doing that upon the
  account of justice which I did upon the score of affection; and am a
  little eased of the attention and solicitude of my inward will:
  〃Est prudentis sustinere; ut currum; sic impetum benevolentia;〃
  '〃'Tis the part of a wise man to keep a curbing hand upon the
  impetus of friendship; as upon that of his horse。〃
  Cicero; De Amicit。; c。 17。'
  'tis in me; too urging and pressing where I take; at least; for a man who
  loves not to be strained at all。  And this husbanding my friendship
  serves me for a sort of consolation in the imperfections of those in whom
  I am concerned。  I am very sorry they are not such as I could wish they
  were; but then I also am spared somewhat of my application and engagement
  towards them。  I approve of a man who is the less fond of his child for
  having a scald head; or for being crooked; and not only when he is ill…
  conditioned; but also when he is of unhappy disposition; and imperfect in
  his limbs (God himself has abated so much from his value and natural
  estimation); provided he carry himself in this coldness of affection with
  moderation and exact justice: proximity; with me; lessens not defects;
  but rather aggravates them。
  After all; according to what I understand in the science of benefit and
  acknowledgment; which is a subtle science; and of great use; I know no
  person whatever more free and less indebted than I am at this hour。  What
  I do owe is simply to foreign obligations and benefits; as to anything
  else; no man is more absolutely clear:
  〃Nec sunt mihi nota potentum
  Munera。〃
  '〃The gifts of great men are unknown to me。〃AEneid; xii。 529。'
  Princes give me a great deal if they take nothing from me; and do me good
  enough if they do me no harm; that's all I ask from them。  O how am I
  obliged to God; that he has been pleased I should immediately receive
  from his bounty all I have; and specially reserved all my obligation to
  himself。  How earnestly do I beg of his holy compassion that I may never
  owe essential thanks to any one。  O happy liberty wherein I have thus far
  lived。  May it continue with me to the last。  I endeavour to have no
  express need of any one:
  〃In me omnis spec est mihi。〃
  '〃All my hope is in myself。〃Terence; Adelph。; iii。 5; 9。'
  'Tis what every one may do in himself; but more easily they whom God has
  placed in a condition exempt from natural and urgent necessities。  It is
  a wretched and dangerous thing to depend upon others; we ourselves; in
  whom is ever the most just and safest dependence; are not sufficiently
  sure。
  I have nothing mine but myself; and yet the possession is; in part;
  defective and borrowed。  I fortify myself both in courage; which is the
  strongest assistant; and also in fortune; therein wherewith to satisfy
  myself; though everything else should forsake me。  Hippias of Elis not
  only furnished himself with knowledge; that he might; at need; cheerfully
  retire from all other company to enjoy the Muses: nor only with the
  knowledge of philosophy; to teach his soul to be contented with itself;
  and bravely to subsist without outward conveniences; when fate would have
  it so; he was; moreover; so careful as to learn to cook; to shave
  himself; to make his own clothes; his own shoes and drawers; to provide
  for all his necessities in himself; and to wean himself from the
  assistance of others。  A man more freely and cheerfully enjoys borrowed
  conveniences; when it is not an enjoyment forced and constrained by need;
  and when he has; in his own will and fortune; the means to live without
  them。  I know myself very well; but 'tis hard for me to imagine any so
  pure liberality of any one towards me; any so frank and free hospitality;
  that would not appear to me discreditable; tyrannical; and tainted with
  reproach; if necessity had reduced me to it。  As giving is an ambitious
  and authoritative quality; so is accepting a quality of submission;
  witness the insulting and quarrelsome refusal that Bajazet made of the
  presents that Tamerlane sent him; and those that were offered on the part
  of the Emperor Solyman to the Emperor of Calicut; so angered him; that he
  not only rudely rejected them; saying that neither he nor any of his
  predecessors had ever been wont to take; and that it was their office to
  give; but; moreover; caused the ambassadors sent with the gifts to be put
  into a dungeon。  When Thetis; says Aristotle; flatters Jupiter; when the
  Lacedaemonians flatter the Athenians; they do not put them in mind of the
  good they have done them; which is always odious; but of the benefits
  they have received from them。  Such as I see so frequently employ every
  one in their affairs; and thrust themselves into so much obligation;
  would never do it; did they but relish as I do the sweetness of a pure
  liberty; and did they but weigh; as wise: men should; the burden of
  obligation: 'tis sometimes; peradventure; fully paid; but 'tis never
  dissolved。  'Tis a miserable slavery to a man who loves to be at full
  liberty in all reapects。  Such as know me; both above and below me in
  station; are able to say whether the