第 15 节
作者:不落的滑翔翼      更新:2021-02-24 23:46      字数:9322
  at it was in this capacity that she would in future take her place in our household。 I was not informed; what I gradually learned by observation; that she would also act in it as housekeeper。
  Miss Marks was a somewhat grotesque personage; and might easily be painted as a kind of eccentric Dickens character; a mixture of Mrs。 Pipchin and Miss Sally Brass。 I will confess that when; in years to come; I read 'Dombey and Son'; certain features of Mrs。 Pipchin did irresistibly remind me of my excellent past governess。 I can imagine Miss Marks saying; but with a facetious intent; that children who sniffed would not go to heaven。 But I was instantly ashamed of the parallel; because my gaunt old friend was a thoroughly good and honest woman; not intelligent and not graceful; but desirous in every way to do her duty。 Her duty to me she certainly did; and I am afraid I hardly rewarded her with the devotion she deserved。 From the first; I was indifferent to her wishes; and; as much as was convenient; I ignored her existence。 She held no power over my attention; and if I accepted her guidance along the path of instruction; it was because; odd as it may sound; I really loved knowledge。 I accepted her company without objection; and though there were occasional outbreaks of tantrums on both sides; we got on very well together for several years。 I did not; however; at any time surrender my inward will to the wishes of Miss Marks。
  In the circle of our life the religious element took so preponderating a place; that it is impossible to avoid mentioning; what might otherwise seem unimportant; the theological views of Miss Marks。 How my Father had discovered her; or from what field of educational enterprise he plucked her in her prime; I never knew; but she used to mention that my Father's ministrations had 'opened her eyes'; from which 'scales' had fallen。 She had accepted; on their presentation to her; the entire gamut of his principles。 Miss Marks was accustomed; while putting me to bed; to dwell darkly on the incidents of her past; which had; I fear; been an afflicted one。 I believe I do her rather limited intelligence no injury when I say that it was prepared to swallow; at one mouthful; whatever my Father presented to it; so delighted was its way…worn possessor to find herself in a comfortable; or; at least; an independent position。 She soon bowed; if there was indeed any resistance from the first; very contentedly in the House of Rimmon; learning to repeat; with marked fluency; the customary formulas and shibboleths。 On my own religious development she had no great influence。 Any such guttering theological rushlight as Miss Marks might dutifully exhibit faded for me in the blaze of my Father's glaring beacon…lamp of faith。
  Hardly was Miss Marks settled in the family; than my Father left us on an expedition about which my curiosity was exercised; but not until later; satisfied。 He had gone; as we afterwards found; to South Devon; to a point on the coast which he had known of old。 Here he had hired a horse; and had ridden about until he saw a spot he liked; where a villa was being built on speculation。 Nothing equals the courage of these recluse men; my Father got off his horse; and tied it to the gate; and then he went in and bought the house on a ninety…nine years' lease。 I need hardly say that he had made the matter a subject of the most earnest prayer; and had entreated the Lord for guidance。 When he felt attracted to this particular villa; he did not doubt that he was directed to it in answer to his supplication; and he wasted no time in further balancing or inquiring。 On my eighth birthday; with bag and baggage complete; we all made the toilful journey down into Devonshire; and I was a town…child no longer。
  CHAPTER V
  A NEW element now entered into my life; a fresh rival arose to compete for me with my Father's dogmatic theology。 This rival was the Sea。 When Wordsworth was a little child; the presence of the mountains and the clouds lighted up his spirit with gleams that were like the flashing of a shield。 He has described; in the marvellous pages of the 'Prelude'; the impact of nature upon the infant soul; but he has described it vaguely and faintly; with some 'infirmity of love for days disowned by memory';I think because he was brought up in the midst of spectacular beauty; and could name no moment; mark no 'here' or 'now'; when the wonder broke upon him。 It was at the age of twice five summers; he thought; that he began to hold unconscious intercourse with nature; 'drinking in a pure organic pleasure' from the floating mists and winding waters。 Perhaps; in his anxiety to be truthful; and in the absence of any record; he put the date of this conscious rapture too late rather than too early。 Certainly my own impregnation with the obscurely…defined but keenly…felt loveliness of the open sea dates from the first week of my ninth year。
  The village; on the outskirts of which we had taken up our abode; was built parallel to the cliff line above the shore; but half a mile inland。 For a long time after the date I have now reached; no other form of natural scenery than the sea had any effect upon me at all。 The tors of the distant moor might be drawn in deep blue against the pallor of our morning or our evening sky; but I never looked at them。 It was the Sea; always the sea; nothing but the sea。 From our house; or from the field at the back of our house; or from any part of the village itself; there was no appearance to suggest that there could lie anything in an easterly direction to break the infinitude of red ploughed fields。 But on that earliest morning; how my heart remembers we hastened;Miss Marks; the maid; and I between them; along a couple of high…walled lanes; when suddenly; far below us; in an immense arc of light; there stretched the enormous plain of waters。 We had but to cross a step or two of downs; when the hollow sides of the great limestone cove yawned at our feet; descending; like a broken cup; down; down to the moon of snow… white shingle and the expanse of blue…green sea。
  In these twentieth…century days; a careful municipality has studded the down with rustic seats and has shut its dangers out with railings; has cut a winding carriage…drive round the curves of the cove down to the shore; and has planted sausage…laurels at intervals in clearings made for that aesthetic purpose。 When last I saw the place; thus smartened and secured; with its hair in curl…papers and its feet in patent…leathers; I turned from it in anger and disgust; and could almost have wept。 I suppose that to those who knew it in no other guise; it may still have beauty。 No parish councils; beneficent and shrewd; can obscure the lustre of the waters or compress the vastness of the sky。 But what man could do to make wild beauty ineffectual; tame and empty; has amply been performed at Oddicombe。
  Very different was it fifty years ago; in its uncouth majesty。 No road; save the merest goat…path; led down its concave wilderness; in which loose furze…bushes and untrimmed brambles wantoned into the likeness of trees; each draped in audacious tissue of wild clematis。 Through this fantastic maze the traveller wound his way; led by little other clue than by the instinct of descent。 For me; as a child; it meant the labour of a long; an endless morning; to descend to the snow…white pebbles; to sport at the edge of the cold; sharp sea; and then to climb up home again; slipping in the sticky red mud; clutching at the smooth boughs of the wild ash; toiling; toiling upwards into flat land out of that hollow world of rocks。
  On the first occasion I recollect; our Cockney housemaid; enthusiastic young creature that she was; flung herself down upon her knees; and drank of the salt waters。 Miss Marks; more instructed in phenomena; refrained; but I; although I was perfectly aware what the taste would be; insisted on sipping a few drops from the palm of my hand。 This was a slight recurrence of what I have called my 'natural magic' practices; which had passed into the background of my mind; but had not quite disappeared。 I recollect that I thought I might secure some power of walking on the sea; if I drank of ita perfectly irrational movement of mind; like those of savages。
  My great desire was to walk out over the sea as far as I could; and then lie flat on it; face downwards; and peer into the depths。 I was tormented with this ambition; and; like many grown… up people; was so fully occupied by these vain and ridiculous desires that I neglected the actual natural pleasures around me。 The idea was not quite so demented as it may seem; because we were in the habit of singing; as well as reading; of those enraptured beings who spend their days in 'flinging down their golden crowns upon the jasper sea'。 Why; I argued; should I not be able to fling down my straw hat upon the tides of Oddicombe? And; without question; a majestic scene upon the Lake of Gennesaret had also inflamed my fancy。 Of all these things; of course; I was careful to speak to no one。
  It was not with Miss Marks; however; but with my Father; that I became accustomed to make the laborious and exquisite journeys down to the sea and back again。 His work as a naturalist eventually took him; laden wi