第 30 节
作者:
披荆斩棘 更新:2021-02-24 23:23 字数:9320
and blotted out sight and hearing; and it was not till the sound was very
near that she was conscious of the ring of horse's hoofs on the plain。
She raised her head sharply; with a thrill of fear; still kneeling; and
listened。
There was no mistake。 The horseman was riding in hot haste; for the
thud of the hoofs followed one another swiftly。
As Mrs。 Drayton listened her white face grew whiter; and she began to
tremble。 Putting out shaking hands; she raised herself by the arms of the
folding…chair and stood upright。
Nearer and nearer came the thunder of the approaching sound; mingled
with startled exclamations and the noise of trampling feet from the
direction of the kitchen tent。
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Slowly; mechanically almost; she dragged herself to the entrance; and
stood clinging to the canvas there。 By the time she had reached it
Broomhurst had flung himself from the saddle; and had thrown the reins to
one of the men。
Mrs。 Drayton stared at him with wide; bright eyes as he hastened
toward her。
〃I thought youyou are not〃 she began; and then her teeth began to
chatter。 〃I am so cold!〃 she said; in a little; weak voice。
Broomhurst took her hand and led her over the threshold back into the
tent。
〃Don't be so frightened;〃 he implored; 〃I came to tell you first。 I
thought it wouldn't frighten you so much asYourDrayton isvery ill。
They are bringing him。 I〃
He paused。 She gazed at him a moment with parted lips; then she
broke into a horrible; discordant laugh; and stood clinging to the back of a
chair。
Broomhurst started back。
〃Do you understand what I mean?〃 he whispered。 〃Kathleen; for God's
sake/don't/he is /dead/。〃
He looked over his shoulder as he spoke; her shrill laughter ringing in
his ears。 The white glare and dazzle of the plain stretched before him;
framed by the entrance to the tent; far off; against the horizon; there were
moving black specks; which he knew to be the returning servants with
their still burden。
They were bringing John Drayton home。
One afternoon; some months later; Broomhurst climbed the steep lane
leading to the cliffs of a little English village by the sea。 He had already
been to the inn; and had been shown by the proprietress the house where
Mrs。 Drayton lodged。
〃The lady was out; but the gentleman would likely find her if he went
to the cliffsdown by the bay; or thereabouts;〃 her landlady explained; and;
obeying her directions; Broomhurst presently emerged from the shady
woodland path on to the hillside overhanging the sea。
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He glanced eagerly round him; and then; with a sudden quickening of
the heart; walked on over the springy heather to where she sat。 She turned
when the rustling his footsteps made through the bracken was near enough
to arrest her attention; and looked up at him as he came。 Then she rose
slowly and stood waiting for him。 He came up to her without a word; and
seized both her hands; devouring her face with his eyes。 Something he saw
there repelled him。 Slowly he let her hands fall; still looking at her silently。
〃You are not glad to see me; and I have counted the hours;〃 he said; at last;
in a dull; toneless voice。
Her lips quivered。 〃Don't be angry with meI can't help itI'm not
glad or sorry for anything now;〃 she answered; and her voice matched his
for grayness。
They sat down together on a long flat stone half embedded in a wiry
clump of whortleberries。 Behind them the lonely hillsides rose; brilliant
with yellow bracken and the purple of heather。 Before them stretched the
wide sea。 It was a soft; gray day。 Streaks of pale sunlight trembled at
moments far out on the water。 The tide was rising in the little bay above
which they sat; and Broomhurst watched the lazy foam…edged waves
slipping over the uncovered rocks toward the shore; then sliding back as
though for very weariness they despaired of reaching it。 The muffled;
pulsing sound of the sea filled the silence。 Broomhurst thought suddenly
of hot Eastern sunshine; of the whir of insect wings on the still air; and the
creaking of a wheel in the distance。 He turned and looked at his
companion。
〃I have come thousands of miles to see you;〃 he said; 〃aren't you going
to speak to me now I am here?〃
〃Why did you come? I told you not to come;〃 she answered;
falteringly。 〃I〃 she paused。
〃And I replied that I should follow youif you remember;〃 he
answered; still quietly。 〃I came because I would not listen to what you said
then; at that awful time。 You didn't know /yourself/ what you said。 No
wonder! I have given you some months; and now I have come。〃
There was silence between them。 Broomhurst saw that she was crying;
her tears fell fast on to her hands; that were clasped in her lap。 Her face; he
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noticed; was thin and drawn。
Very gently he put his arm round her shoulder and drew her nearer to
him。 She made no resistance; it seemed that she did not notice the
movement; and his arm dropped at his side。
〃You asked me why I had come。 You think it possible that three
months can change one very thoroughly; then?〃 he said; in a cold voice。
〃I not only think it possible; I have proved it;〃 she replied; wearily。
He turned round and faced her。
〃You /did/ love me; Kathleen!〃 he asserted。 〃You never said so in
words; but I know it;〃 he added; fiercely。
〃Yes; I did。〃
〃Andyou mean that you don't now?〃
Her voice was very tired。 〃Yes; I can't help it;〃 she answered; 〃it has
goneutterly。〃
The gray sea slowly lapped the rocks。 Overhead the sharp scream of a
gull cut through the stillness。 It was broken again; a moment afterward; by
a short hard laugh from the man。
〃Don't!〃 she whispered; and laid a hand swiftly on his arm。 〃Do you
think it isn't worse for me? I wish to God I /did/ love you!〃 she cried;
passionately。 〃Perhaps it would make me forget that; to all intents and
purposes; I am a murderess。
Broomhurst met her wide; despairing eyes with an amazement which
yielded to sudden pitying comprehension。
〃So that is it; my darling? You are worrying about /that/? You who
were as loyal as〃
She stopped him with a frantic gesture。
〃Don't! /don't!/〃 she wailed。 〃If you only knew! Let me try to tell you
will you?〃 she urged; pitifully。 〃It may be better if I tell some oneif I
don't keep it all to myself; and think; and /think/。〃
She clasped her hands tight; with the old gesture he remembered when
she was struggling for self…control; and waited a moment。
Presently she began to speak in a low; hurried tone: 〃It began before
you came。 I know now what the feeling was that I was afraid to
acknowledge to myself。 I used to try and smother it; I used to repeat things
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to myself all daypoems; stupid rhymes/anything/ to keep my thoughts
quite underneathbut I/hated/ John before you came! We had been
married nearly a year then。 I never loved him。 Of course you are going to
say; 'Why did you marry him?' 〃 She looked drearily over the placid sea。
〃Why /did/ I marry him? I don't know; for the reason that hundreds of
ignorant; inexperienced girls marry; I suppose。 My home wasn't a happy
one。 I was miserable; and oh/restless/。 I wonder if men know what it
feels like to be restless? Sometimes I think they can't even guess。 John
wanted me very badly; nobody wanted me at home particularly。 There
didn't seem to be any point in my life。 Do you understand? 。 。 。 Of course;
being alone with him in that