第 30 节
作者:披荆斩棘      更新:2021-02-24 23:23      字数:9320
  and blotted out sight and hearing; and it was not till the sound was very
  near that she was conscious of the ring of horse's hoofs on the plain。
  She   raised   her   head   sharply;   with   a   thrill   of   fear;   still   kneeling;   and
  listened。
  There was no mistake。 The horseman was riding in hot haste; for the
  thud of the hoofs followed one another swiftly。
  As Mrs。 Drayton listened her white face grew whiter; and she began to
  tremble。 Putting out shaking hands; she raised herself by the arms of the
  folding…chair and stood upright。
  Nearer and nearer came the thunder of the approaching sound; mingled
  with    startled   exclamations      and   the   noise   of  trampling     feet  from    the
  direction of the kitchen tent。
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  Slowly; mechanically almost; she dragged herself to the entrance; and
  stood     clinging    to  the   canvas    there。   By   the   time   she   had   reached     it
  Broomhurst had flung himself from the saddle; and had thrown the reins to
  one of the men。
  Mrs。   Drayton   stared   at   him   with   wide;   bright   eyes   as   he   hastened
  toward her。
  〃I thought youyou are not〃 she began; and then her teeth began to
  chatter。 〃I am so cold!〃 she said; in a little; weak voice。
  Broomhurst took her hand and led her over the threshold back into the
  tent。
  〃Don't   be   so   frightened;〃   he   implored;   〃I   came   to   tell   you   first。   I
  thought   it   wouldn't   frighten   you   so   much   asYourDrayton   isvery   ill。
  They are bringing him。 I〃
  He   paused。   She   gazed   at   him   a   moment   with   parted   lips;   then   she
  broke into a horrible; discordant laugh; and stood clinging to the back of a
  chair。
  Broomhurst started back。
  〃Do you understand what I mean?〃 he whispered。 〃Kathleen; for God's
  sake/don't/he is /dead/。〃
  He looked over his shoulder as he spoke; her shrill laughter ringing in
  his   ears。   The   white   glare   and   dazzle   of   the   plain   stretched   before   him;
  framed by the entrance to the tent; far off; against the horizon; there were
  moving   black   specks;   which   he   knew   to   be   the   returning   servants   with
  their still burden。
  They were bringing John Drayton home。
  One afternoon; some months later; Broomhurst climbed the steep lane
  leading to the cliffs of a little English village by the sea。 He had already
  been to the inn; and had been shown by the proprietress the house where
  Mrs。 Drayton lodged。
  〃The lady was out; but the gentleman would likely find her if he went
  to the cliffsdown by the bay; or thereabouts;〃 her landlady explained; and;
  obeying   her   directions;   Broomhurst   presently   emerged   from   the   shady
  woodland path on to the hillside overhanging the sea。
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  He glanced eagerly round him; and then; with a sudden quickening of
  the heart; walked on over the springy heather to where she sat。 She turned
  when the rustling his footsteps made through the bracken was near enough
  to   arrest   her   attention;   and   looked   up   at   him  as   he   came。 Then   she   rose
  slowly and stood waiting for him。 He came up to her without a word; and
  seized both her hands; devouring her face with his eyes。 Something he saw
  there repelled him。 Slowly he let her hands fall; still looking at her silently。
  〃You are not glad to see me; and I have counted the hours;〃 he said; at last;
  in a dull; toneless voice。
  Her   lips   quivered。   〃Don't   be   angry   with   meI   can't   help   itI'm   not
  glad or sorry for anything now;〃 she answered; and her voice matched his
  for grayness。
  They sat down together on a long flat stone half embedded in a wiry
  clump   of   whortleberries。   Behind   them   the   lonely   hillsides   rose;   brilliant
  with yellow bracken and the purple of heather。 Before them stretched the
  wide   sea。   It   was   a   soft;   gray   day。   Streaks   of   pale   sunlight   trembled   at
  moments far out on the water。 The tide was rising in the little bay above
  which     they   sat;  and   Broomhurst      watched     the   lazy   foam…edged      waves
  slipping over the uncovered rocks toward the shore; then sliding back as
  though   for   very   weariness   they   despaired   of   reaching   it。   The   muffled;
  pulsing sound of the sea filled the silence。 Broomhurst thought suddenly
  of hot Eastern sunshine; of the whir of insect wings on the still air; and the
  creaking      of  a   wheel    in  the   distance。    He   turned    and    looked    at  his
  companion。
  〃I have come thousands of miles to see you;〃 he said; 〃aren't you going
  to speak to me now I am here?〃
  〃Why      did   you    come?     I  told   you   not   to   come;〃    she    answered;
  falteringly。 〃I〃 she paused。
  〃And     I  replied    that  I  should     follow    youif   you    remember;〃      he
  answered; still quietly。 〃I came because I would not listen to what you said
  then;   at   that   awful   time。   You   didn't   know   /yourself/   what   you   said。   No
  wonder! I have given you some months; and now I have come。〃
  There was silence between them。 Broomhurst saw that she was crying;
  her tears fell fast on to her hands; that were clasped in her lap。 Her face; he
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  noticed; was thin and drawn。
  Very gently he put his arm round her shoulder and drew her nearer to
  him。    She    made    no   resistance;    it  seemed    that  she   did   not   notice   the
  movement; and his arm dropped at his side。
  〃You   asked     me    why   I   had  come。   You   think     it   possible   that  three
  months can change one very thoroughly; then?〃 he said; in a cold voice。
  〃I not only think it possible; I have proved it;〃 she replied; wearily。
  He turned round and faced her。
  〃You   /did/   love   me;   Kathleen!〃   he   asserted。   〃You   never   said   so   in
  words; but I know it;〃 he added; fiercely。
  〃Yes; I did。〃
  〃Andyou mean that you don't now?〃
  Her voice was very tired。 〃Yes; I can't help it;〃 she answered; 〃it has
  goneutterly。〃
  The gray sea slowly lapped the rocks。 Overhead the sharp scream of a
  gull cut through the stillness。 It was broken again; a moment afterward; by
  a short hard laugh from the man。
  〃Don't!〃 she whispered; and laid a hand swiftly on his arm。 〃Do you
  think   it   isn't   worse   for   me?   I   wish   to   God   I   /did/   love   you!〃   she   cried;
  passionately。   〃Perhaps   it   would   make   me   forget   that;   to   all   intents   and
  purposes; I am a murderess。
  Broomhurst met her wide; despairing eyes with an amazement which
  yielded to sudden pitying comprehension。
  〃So   that   is   it;   my   darling?   You   are   worrying   about   /that/?   You   who
  were as loyal as〃
  She stopped him with a frantic gesture。
  〃Don't! /don't!/〃 she wailed。 〃If you only knew! Let me try to tell you
  will   you?〃   she   urged;   pitifully。   〃It   may   be   better   if   I   tell   some   oneif   I
  don't keep it all to myself; and think; and /think/。〃
  She clasped her hands tight; with the old gesture he remembered when
  she was struggling for self…control; and waited a moment。
  Presently she began to speak in a low; hurried tone: 〃It began before
  you     came。    I  know    now     what   the   feeling   was    that   I  was   afraid   to
  acknowledge to myself。 I used to try and smother it; I used to repeat things
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  to myself all daypoems; stupid rhymes/anything/ to keep my thoughts
  quite    underneathbut        I/hated/   John    before    you    came!    We    had   been
  married nearly a year then。 I never loved him。 Of course you are going to
  say; 'Why did you marry him?' 〃 She looked drearily over the placid sea。
  〃Why   /did/   I   marry   him?   I   don't   know;   for   the   reason   that   hundreds   of
  ignorant; inexperienced girls marry; I suppose。 My home wasn't a happy
  one。   I   was   miserable;   and   oh/restless/。   I   wonder   if   men   know   what   it
  feels   like   to   be   restless?   Sometimes   I   think   they   can't   even   guess。   John
  wanted   me   very   badly;   nobody   wanted   me   at   home   particularly。   There
  didn't seem to be any point in my life。 Do you understand? 。 。 。 Of course;
  being     alone    with    him    in   that