第 67 节
作者:
浮游云中 更新:2021-02-24 23:06 字数:9322
individual discipline and restraint。 And while she had never considered
these things; the spectacle of a philosophyembodied in himthat
frankly and cynically threw them overboard was disconcerting。 He
regarded her as his proselyte; he called her a Puritan; and he seemed
more concerned that she should shed these relics of an ancestral code
than acquire the doctrines of Sorel and Pouget。 And yet association with
him presented the allurement of a dangerous adventure。 Intellectually he
fascinated her; and still another motivewhich she partially disguised
from herselfprevented her from repelling him。 That motive had to do
with Ditmar。 She tried to put Ditmar from her mind; she sought in
desperation; not only to keep busy; but to steep and lose herself in this
fierce creed as an antidote to the insistent; throbbing pain that lay
ambushed against her moments of idleness。 The second evening of her
installation at Headquarters she had worked beyond the supper hour;
helping Sanders with his accounts。 She was loath to go home。 And when
at last she put on her hat and coat and entered the hall Rolfe; who had
been talking to Jastro; immediately approached her。 His liquid eyes
regarded her solicitously。
〃You must be hungry;〃 he said。 〃Come out with me and have some supper。〃
But she was not hungry; what she needed was air。 Then he would walk a
little way with herhe wanted to talk to her。 She hesitated; and then
consented。 A fierce hope had again taken possession of her; and when
they came to Warren Street she turned into it。
〃Where are you going?〃 Rolfe demanded。
〃For a walk;〃 she said。 〃Aren't you coming?〃
〃Will you have supper afterwards?〃
〃Perhaps。〃
He followed her; puzzled; yet piqued and excited by her manner; as with
rapid steps she hurried along the pavement。 He tried to tell her what
her friendship meant to him; they were; he declared; kindred spirits
from the first time he had seen her; on the Common; he had known this。
She scarcely heard him; she was thinking of Ditmar; and this was why she
had led Rolfe into Warren Street they might meet Ditmar! It was possible
that he would be going to the mill at this time; after his dinner! She
scrutinized every distant figure; and when they reached the block in
which he lived she walked more slowly。 From within the house came to
her; faintly; the notes of a pianohis daughter Amy was practising。 It
was the music; a hackneyed theme of Schubert's played heavily; that
seemed to arouse the composite emotion of anger and hatred; yet of
sustained attraction and wild regret she had felt before; but never so
poignantly as now。 And she lingered; perversely resolved to steep
herself in the agony。
〃Who lives here〃 Rolfe asked。
〃Mr。 Ditmar;〃 she answered。
〃The agent of the Chippering Mill?〃
She nodded。
〃He's the worst of the lot;〃 Rolfe said angrily。 〃If it weren't for him;
we'd have this strike won to…day。 He owns this town; he's run it to suit
himself; He stiffens up the owners and holds the other mills in line。
He's a type; a driver; the kind of man we must get rid of。 Look at him
he lives in luxury while his people are starving。〃
〃Get rid of!〃 repeated Janet; in an odd voice。
〃Oh; I don't mean to shoot him;〃 Rolfe declared。 〃But he may get shot;
for all I know; by some of these slaves he's made desperate。〃
〃They wouldn't dare shoot him;〃 Janet said。 〃And whatever he is; he
isn't a coward。 He's stronger than the others; he's more of a man。〃
Rolfe looked at her curiously。
〃What do you know about him?〃 he asked。
〃II know all about him。 I was his stenographer。〃
〃You! His stenographer! Then why are you herewith us?〃
〃Because I hate him!〃 she cried vehemently。 〃Because I've learned that
it's truewhat you say about the mastersthey only think of themselves
and their kind; and not of us。 They use us。〃
〃He tried to use you! You loved him!〃
〃How dare you say that!〃
He fell back before her anger。
〃I didn't mean to offend you;〃 he exclaimed。 〃I was jealousI'm jealous
of every man you've known。 I want you。 I've never met a woman like
you。〃
They were the very words Ditmar had used! She did not answer; and for a
while they walked along in silence; leaving Warren Street and cutting
across the city until they canoe in sight of the Common。 Rolfe drew
nearer to her。
〃Forgive me!〃 he pleaded。 〃You know I would not offend you。 Come; we'll
have supper together; and I will teach you more of what you have to
know。〃
〃Where?〃 she asked。
〃At the Hamptonit is a little cafe where we all go。 Perhaps you've
been there。〃
〃No;〃 said Janet。
〃It doesn't compare with the cafes of Europeor of New York。 Perhaps we
shall go to them sometime; together。 But it is cosy; and warm; and all
the leaders will be there。 You'll comeyes?〃
〃Yes; I'll come;〃 she said。。。。
The Hampton was one of the city's second…class hotels; but sufficiently
pretentious to have; in its basement; a 〃cafe〃 furnished in the 〃mission〃
style of brass tacks and dull red leather。 In the warm; food…scented air
fantastic wisps of smoke hung over the groups; among them Janet made out
several of the itinerant leaders of Syndicalism; loose…tied; debonnair;
giving a tremendous impression of freedom as they laughed and chatted
with the women。 For there were women; ranging from the redoubtable
Nellie Bond herself down to those who may be designated as campfollowers。
Rolfe; as he led Janet to a table in a corner of the room; greeted his
associates with easy camaraderie。 From Miss Bond he received an
illuminating smile。 Janet wondered at her striking good looks; at the
boldness and abandon with which she talked to Jastro or exchanged sallies
across the room。 The atmosphere of this tawdry resort; formerly
frequented by shop girls and travelling salesmen; was magically
transformed by the presence of this company; made bohemian; cosmopolitan;
exhilarating。 And Janet; her face flushed; sat gazing at the scene;
while Rolfe consulted the bill of fare and chose a beefsteak and French
fried potatoes。 The apathetic waiter in the soiled linen jacket he
addressed as 〃comrade。〃 Janet protested when he ordered cocktails。
〃You must learn to live; to relax; to enjoy yourself;〃 he declared。
But a horror of liquor held her firm in her refusal。 Rolfe drank his;
and while they awaited the beefsteak she was silent; the prey of certain
misgivings that suddenly assailed her。 Lise; she remembered; had
sometimes mentioned this place; though preferring Gruber's: and she was
struck by the contrast between this spectacle and the grimness of the
strike these people had come to encourage and sustain; the conflict in
the streets; the suffering in the tenements。 She glanced at Rolfe;
noting the manner in which he smoked cigarettes; sensually; as though
seeking to wring out of each all there was to be got before flinging it
down and lighting another。 Again she was struck by the anomaly of a
religion that had indeed enthusiasms; sacrifices perhaps; but no
disciplines。 He threw it out in snatches; this religion; while relating
the histories of certain persons in the room: of Jastro; for instance;
letting fall a hint to the effect that this evangelist and bliss Bond
were dwelling together in more than amity。
〃Then you don't believe in marriage?〃 she demanded; suddenly。
Rolfe laughed。
〃What is it;〃 he exclaimed; 〃but the survival of the system of property?
It's slavery; taboo; a device upheld by the master class to keep women in
bondage; in superstition; by inducing them to accept it as a decree of
God。
Did the masters themselves ever respect it; or any other decrees of God
they preached to the slaves? Read history; and you will see。 They had
their loves; their mistresses。 Read the newspapers; and you will find
out whether they respect it to…day。 But they are very anxious to have
you and me respect it and all the other Christian commandments; because
they will prevent us from being discontented。 They say that we must be
satisfied with the situation in this world in which God has placed us;
and we shall have our reward in the next。〃
She shivered slightly; not only at the ideas thus abruptly enunciated;
but because it occurred to her that those others must be taking for
granted a certain relationship between herself and Rolfe。。。。 But
presently; when the supper arrived; these feelings changed。 She was very
hungry; and the effect of the food; of the hot coffee was to dispel her
doubt and repugnance; to throw a glamour over the adventure; to restore
to Rolfe's arguments an exciting and alluring appeal。 And with renewed
physical energy she began to experience once more a sense of fellowship
with these free and daring spirits who sought to avenge her wrongs and
theirs。
〃For us who create there are no rules of conduct; no conventions;〃 Rolfe
was saying; 〃we do not care for the opinions of the middle class; of the
bourgeois。 With us men and women are on an equality。 It is fear that
has kept the workers down; and now we have cast that offwe know our
strength。 As they say in Italy; il mondo e a chi se lo piglia; the world
belongs to him who is bold。〃
〃It