第 17 节
作者:浮游云中      更新:2021-02-24 23:06      字数:9322
  the empty office; to perceive her bag lying on the desk where she had left it;
  and sat down for a few minutes beside the window; her heart pounding in her
  breast as though she had barely escaped an accident threatening her with
  physical annihilation。  Something had happened to her at last!  But what did it
  mean?  Where would it lead?  Her fear; her antagonism; of which she was still
  conscious; her resentment that Ditmar had thus surreptitiously chosen to
  approach her in a moment when they were unobserved were mingled with a
  throbbing exultation in that he had noticed her; that there was something in
  her to attract him in that way; to make his voice thicker and his smile
  apologetic when he spoke to her。  Of that 〃something…in…her〃 she had been aware
  before; but never had it been so unmistakably recognized and beckoned to from
  without。  She was at once terrified; excitedand flattered。
  At length; growing calmer; she made her way out of the building。  When she
  reached the vestibule she had a moment of sharp apprehension; of paradoxical
  hope; that Ditmar might still be there; awaiting her。  But he had gone。。。。
  In spite of her efforts to dismiss the matter from her mind; to persuade
  herself there had been no significance in the encounter; when she was seated at
  her typewriter the next morning she experienced a renewal of the palpitation of
  the evening before; and at the sound of every step in the corridor she started。
  Of this tendency she was profoundly ashamed。  And when at last Ditmar arrived;
  though the blood rose to her temples; she kept her eyes fixed on the keys。  He
  went quickly into his room: she was convinced he had not so much as glanced at
  her。。。。  As the days went by; however; she was annoyed by the discovery that
  his continued ignoring of her presence brought more resentment than relief; she
  detected in it a deliberation implying between them a guilty secret: she hated
  secrecy; though secrecy contained a thrill。  Then; one morning when she was
  alone in the office with young Caldwell; who was absorbed in some reports;
  Ditmar entered unexpectedly and looked her full in the eyes; surprising her
  into answering his glance before she could turn away; hating herself and hating
  him。  Hate; she determined; was her prevailing sentiment in regard to Mr。
  Ditmar。
  The following Monday Miss Ottway overtook her; at noon; on the stairs。
  〃Janet; I wanted to speak to you; to tell you I'm leaving;〃 she said。
  〃Leaving!〃  repeated Janet; who had regarded Miss Ottway as a fixture。
  〃I'm going to Boston;〃 Miss Ottway explained; in her deep; musical voice。
  〃I've always wanted to go; I have an unmarried sister there of whom I'm very
  fond; and Mr。 Ditmar knows that。  He's got me a place with the Treasurer; Mr。
  Semple。〃
  〃Oh; I'm sorry you're going; though of course I'm glad for you;〃 Janet said
  sincerely; for she liked and respected Miss Ottway; and was conscious in the
  older woman of a certain kindly interest。
  〃Janet; I've recommended you to Mr。 Ditmar for my place。〃
  〃Oh!〃 cried Janet; faintly。
  〃It was he who asked about you; he thinks you are reliable and quick and
  clever; and I was very glad to say a good word for you; my dear; since I could
  honestly do so。〃  Miss Ottway drew Janet's arm through hers and patted it
  affectionately。  〃Of course you'll have to expect some jealousy; there are
  older women in the other offices who will think they ought to have the place;
  but if you attend to your own affairs; as you always have done; there won't be
  any trouble。〃
  〃Oh; I won't take the place; I can't!〃Janet cried; so passionately that Miss
  Ottway looked at her in surprise。  〃I'm awfully grateful to you;〃 she added;
  flushing crimson; 〃II'm afraid I'm not equal to it。〃
  〃Nonsense;〃 said the other with decision。  〃You'd be very foolish not to try
  it。  You won't get as much as I do; at first; at any rate; but a little more
  money won't be unwelcome; I guess。  Mr。 Ditmar will speak to you this
  afternoon。  I leave on Saturday。  I'm real glad to do you a good turn; Janet;
  and I know you'll get along;〃 Miss Ottway added impulsively as they parted at
  the corner of Faber Street。  〃I've always thought a good deal of you。〃
  For awhile Janet stood still; staring after the sturdy figure of her friend;
  heedless of the noonday crowd that bumped her。  Then she went to Grady's Quick
  Lunch Counter and ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk; which she consumed
  slowly; profoundly sunk in thought。  Presently Eda Rawle arrived; and noticing
  her preoccupation; inquired what was the matter。
  〃Nothing;〃 said Janet。。。。
  At two o'clock; when Ditmar returned to the office; he called Miss Ottway; who
  presently came out to summon Janet to his presence。  Fresh; immaculate; yet
  virile in his light suit and silk shirt with red stripes; he was seated at his
  desk engaged in turning over some papers in a drawer。  He kept her waiting a
  moment; and then said; with apparent casualness:
  〃Is that you; Miss Bumpus?  Would you mind closing the door?〃
  Janet obeyed; and again stood before him。  He looked up。  A suggestion of
  tenseness in her pose betraying an inner attitude of alertness; of defiance;
  conveyed to him sharply and deliciously once more the panther…like impression
  he had received when first; as a woman; she had come to his notice。  The
  renewed and heightened perception of this feral quality in her aroused a sense
  of danger by no means unpleasurable; though warning him that he was about to
  take an unprecedented step; being drawn beyond the limits of caution he had
  previously set for himself in divorcing business and sex。  Though he was by no
  means self…convinced of an intention to push the adventure; preferring to leave
  its possibilities open; he strove in voice and manner to be business…like; and
  instinct; perhaps; whispered that she might take alarm。
  〃Sit down; Miss Bumpus;〃 he said pleasantly; as he closed the drawer。
  She seated herself on an office chair。
  〃Do you like your work here?〃  he inquired。
  〃No;〃 said Janet。
  〃Why not?〃  he demanded; staring at her。
  〃Why should I?〃  she retorted。
  〃Wellwhat's the trouble with it?  It isn't as hard as it would be in some
  other places; is it?〃
  〃I'm not saying anything against the place。〃
  〃What; then?〃
  〃You asked me if I liked my work。  I don't。〃
  〃Then why do you do it?〃 he demanded。
  〃To live;〃 she replied。
  He smiled; but his gesture as he stroked his moustache implied a slight
  annoyance at her composure。  He found it difficult with this dark; self…
  contained young woman to sustain the role of benefactor。
  〃What kind of work would you like to do?〃 he demanded。
  〃I don't know。  I haven't got the choice; anyway;〃 she said。
  He observed that she did her work well; to which she made no answer。  She
  refused to help him; although Miss Ottway must have warned her。  She acted as
  though she were conferring the favour。  And yet; clearing his throat; he was
  impelled to say:
  〃Miss Ottway's leaving me; she's going into the Boston office with Mr。 Semple;
  the treasurer of the corporation。  I shall miss her; she's an able and reliable
  woman; and she knows my ways。〃  He paused; fingering his paper knife。  〃The
  fact is; Miss Bumpus; she's spoken highly of you; she tells me you're quick and
  accurate and painstakingI've noticed that for myself。  She seems to think you
  could do her work; and recommends that I give you a trial。  You understand; of
  course; that the position is in a way confidential; and that you could not
  expect at first; at any rate; the salary Miss Ottway has had; but I'm willing
  to offer you fourteen dollars a week to begin with; and afterwards; if we get
  along together; to give you more。  What do you say?〃
  〃I'd like to try it; Mr。 Ditmar;〃 Janet said; and added nothing; no word of
  gratitude or of appreciation to that consent。
  〃Very well then;〃 he replied; 〃that's settled。  Miss Ottway will explain things
  to you; and tell you about my peculiarities。  And when she goes you can take
  her desk; by the window nearest my door。〃
  Ditmar sat idle for some minutes after she had gone; staring through the open
  doorway into the outer office。。。。
  To Ditmar she had given no evidence of the storm his offer had created in her
  breast; and it was characteristic also that she waited until supper was nearly
  over to inform her family; making the announcement in a matter…of…fact tone;
  just as though it were not the unique piece of good fortune that had come to
  the Bumpuses since Edward had been eliminated from the mercantile establishment
  at Dolton。  The news was received with something like consternation。  For the
  moment Hannah was incapable of speech; and her hand trembled as she resumed the
  cutting of the pie: but hope surged within her despite her effort to keep it
  down; her determination to remain true to the fatalism from which she had
  paradoxically derived so much comfort。  The effect on Edward; while somewhat
  less violent; was temporarily to take away his appetite。  Hope; to flower in
  him; needed but little watering。  Great was his faith in the Bumpus blood; and
  secretly he had always regarded his eldest daughter as the chosen vessel for
  their redemption。
  〃Well; I swan!〃 he ex