第 68 节
作者:
暖暖 更新:2021-02-24 23:00 字数:9322
le to discipline her; and so she has always been a bit 〃spoiled;〃 though her kind and generous nature makes her a charming person。 But more important than the fact that she could not be disciplined is the lowering of energy that these sicknesses produced; a lowering marked mainly by a liability to fatigue and depression。 Let there come a sickness; and this woman's stock of hopeful mood goes and there results a loss of interest in life; a loss of zest and joyousness。 A digression;and a return to the theme of the first chapter of this book。 The dependence of the mental life on bodily structure; equally true in the both sexes; is exquisitely demonstrated in woman。 In many women there occurs an extraordinary increase of sex desire just before the menstrual period and in some to the point where it causes great internal conflict。 Others show moderate depression and even confusion at this time; and to the majority of women some mood and thought change is taken for granted。 At the menopause mental difficulties to the point of insanity are witnessed; and in some cases the change is permanent。 Back of mood is the entire organic life of the organism; and back of the nature of our thoughts and deeds is mood。 A peculiarity of fatigue is remarkably well shown by this person。 When she is tired or convalescent a depressing thought sticks; becomes an obsession; a fixed idea; to the plague of her life。 Thus when she was nursing her first baby the night feedings exhausted her。 One night; half asleep and half awake; with the vigorous little animal pulling away at her breast; she watched the pulsing fontanelle on the top of the baby's head; and the thought came to her how dreadfully easy it would be to injure the brain beneath。 Her heart pounced in fear; she almost fainted at the thought; and yet it 〃stuck〃 and came back to her with each random association。 I need not detail how the idea recurred a dozen times a day and brought the fear that she was going insane。 She stopped nursing the baby at night; got a good rest; and the idea disappeared。 She was 〃able to shake off〃 when rested that which was a hideous obsession when fatigued。 Indeed; one might speak of persons of this type as hypothymic as well as cyclothymic。 The hypothymic are those whose stock of courage and hope is easily exhausted; who become easily discouraged。 They are borrowers of energy and vigor; they need sturdier folk around them; often they are said to be sensitive; and while this is sometimes true; it is more often the case that they are more affected。 That is; two persons may notice the same thing or suffer the same sickness; but the so…called sensitive has a reserve of courage and energy that disappears; whereas the other has enough left in stock so that he does not feel any change。 The extraordinary complexity of human character is well illustrated by C。 D。 She is hypothymic or cyclothymic to the little affairs of life and to the minor illnesses。 Yet when her family fortunes were greatly imperilled by a financial crisis; she stood up against the strain far better than did her husband; a man sturdy and buoyant in most of the affairs of life。 His ego was more concerned with financial fortune than was hers; and against this ill she was the philosopher and not he。 We may well contrast L。 D。 with her husband。 He belongs to the sturdy in emotions and morals;the stable。 Dark days and bright days; sickness and health; fatigue and rest seem to impair his courage; hope and general cheerfulness of mood but little。 He has a high organic balance and a well…built…up philosophy。 I started to say of him that he is an optimist; but this is not true。 He is cheerful; but he does not sing; 〃Tra la la; all the things that are; are good。〃 He says; 〃There are bad things; but I must carry on and fight the good fight。〃 His is a philosophy of courage and endurance; but not of optimistic twaddle。 He is too wide…brained to speak of life as 〃all good〃 when he knows of inherited disease; cruelty; preventable poverty; gross neglect and unmerited misfortune。 Yet he lends hope and comfort to the afflicted; and he has an unvarying comfort for his cyclothymic mate。 He has built up his ego around a business; one in which there was sunk not only his own fortune but that of a host of friends。 When this was so threatened as to seem inevitably lost; his ego was deeply wounded; he lost courage and hope and then needed the strength of his wife。 This she gave; and when the tide of affairs turned; his own courage was ready and unimpaired。 We are like trees;the hard; strong; knotty parts of our fiber are distributed in irregular fashion; and he who seems strongest has a weak place somewhere。 Attack that; and his resistance; courage and hope disappear。 While there are the types of mood and emotional make…up; there are curious monothymic types; people who habitually tend to react with one emotion or mood。 The fear type。 It must again be emphasized that we cannot separate emotion; mood; instinct; intelligence in our analysis。 And so we shall speak of individuals of this or that type when what we mean is that they reacted habitually and remarkably in one direction。 Thus with the man F。; who has quick imagination; and whose ability to forecast is inextricably mixed with a liability to fear。 It is true that some do not fear because they do not foresee; and that placidity and calmness are less often due to courage than to lack of imagination。 F。 feared animals excessively as a child and injury to himself as a boy; so that he played few rough games。 To a large extent his parents fostered this fear in him by carefully guarding and watching him; by putting him through that neurasthenic regimen so brilliantly described by Arthur Guiterman in his story of the aseptic pup。 Yet he had a brother as carefully brought up as himself who became a rough…and…tumble lad; with as little likelihood to fear as any boy。 So that we may only assume that F。's training fostered fear in him; it did not cause it。 At the age of thirteen the fear of death entered F。's life; the occasion being the death of an uncle。 The mourning; the quick fleeting sight of the dead man in the black box; the interment of the once vigorous; joyous man in the earth struck terror into the heart of the boy。 From that time much of his life was controlled by his struggles with the fear of death; and his history is his reaction to that fear。 At fourteen he astonished his free…thinking family by becoming a devout Christian; by praying; attending church regularly and by becoming so moral in his conduct as to warrant the belief that there was something wrong with him。 Indeed; had a psychiatrist examined him at this time; there is no doubt he would have diagnosed his condition as a beginning Dementia Precox。 But he was not; he simply was compensating for his fear of death。 At sixteen he entered an academy where he was forced to go into athletics。 The fear of injury and death plagued him so that he broke down; but this breakdown did not last long; and he reentered athletics and did fairly well。 Indeed; in order to break himself of fear; he became outwardly a rather daring gymnast; hoping that what he had so often read of the sickly and puny becoming strong and vigorous through training would be true of him。 As soon as he reached a stage in school where compulsory training was dropped; he discontinued athletics; with much inward relief。 In fact; pride; fear of being considered a coward; was mainly responsible for his efforts in this direction。 In college he fell under the influence of Omar Khayam and the epicurean reaction to death。 He feverishly entered pleasure and swung easily from religious fervor to a complete agnosticism。 He became a first…nighter; knew all the chorus girls it was possible for him to become acquainted with; learned to drink but never learned to enjoy it。 In fact; after each sensual indulgence his reaction against himself led him to a despair which might have terminated in suicide were it not that he feared death more than the reproaches of his conscience。 Then he fell under the influence of a group of men and women in his college town; philanthropists and social reformers; whose enthusiasm and energy seemed to him miraculous; and as he grew to know them he realized with a something like ecstasy and yet governed by intelligence; that in such work was a compensation for death that might satisfy both his emotions and his intelligence。 Again to the surprise of his parents; and in the face of their prediction that he would soon 〃tire〃 of this fad; he entered into their activities and proved himself a devoted worker。 Too devoted; for now and then he needs medical attention; and it was in one of these 〃neurasthenic〃 periods that I met him。 I learned that the spur that kept him going; that made him energetic; was the fear that death would overtake him before he achieved anything worth while; that he hated to die and was appalled by the thought of death; but that he could forget all this in work of a socially useful kind。 F。 might almost stand for mankind in his reactions to death。 He seemed to me almost too good to be true as a demonstration of a pet thesis of mine; namely; that the fear of death is behind an enormous amount of men's deeds and beliefs。 His reaction was of the com