第 60 节
作者:
暖暖 更新:2021-02-24 23:00 字数:9322
no other way。 We should lose the sacred principles of motherhood and fatherhood; the only example of consistent and unrewarded love; if the home disappeared。 The only real altruism of any continuous and widespread type is there found。 It is the promise and the possibility of our race that we see in the living parents。 We know that unselfishness exists when we think of them; and the idealist who dreams of a world set free from greed and struggle merely enlarges the ideal home。 But we must be realistic; as well as idealistic。 A silent or noisy struggle goes on in the home between the old and the new; between a rising and a receding generation。 An orthodox old generation looks askance on an heretical new generation; parents who believe that to play cards or go to theater is the way of Satan find their children leaving home to do these very things。 Everywhere mothers wonder why daughters like short skirts; powder and perhaps rouge; when they were brought up on the corset; crinoline and the bustle; and they rebel against the indictment passed out broadcast by their children。 〃You are old…fashioned; this is the year 1921。〃 When children grow up; their wills clash with their parents'; even in the sweetest; and most loving of homes。 Behind many a girl's anxiety to marry is the desire for the unobstructed exercise of her will。 Parents too often seek in their children a continuation of their own peculiarities; their own characters and ideals; forgetting that the continuity of the generations is true only in a biological sense; but in no other way。 And children grown to strength; power and intelligence think that each person must seek his experiences himself and forget that true wisdom lies in what is accepted by all the generations。 Just as we have the types of husbands and the types of wives; so we judge men and women by the wisdom; dignity and faithfulness of their parenthood; so we judge them by the kind of children they are to their parents。 In this last we have a point in character of great importance and one upon which the followers of Freud have laid muchover…muchstress。 The effect of too affectionate a home training; too assertive parenthood; is to dwarf the individuality of the child and make him a sort of parasite; out of contact with his contemporaries; seclusive and odd。 There is a certain brand of goody…goody boy; brought up tied to his mother's apron strings; who has lost the essential capacities of mixing with varied types of boys and girls; who is sensitive; shy and retiring; or who is naively boorish and unschooled in tact。 According to some psychiatrists this kind of training breeds the mental disease known as Dementia Praecox; but I seriously doubt it。 One often finds that the goody…goody boy of fifteen becomes the college fullback at twenty;that is; once thrown on the world; the really normal get back their birthright of character。 I think it likely that now and then a feeling of inferiority is bred in this way; a feeling that may cling and change the current of a boy's life。 The real danger of too close a family life; in whatever way it manifests itself; is that it cuts into real social life; narrows the field of influences and sympathies; breeds a type of personality of perhaps good morals but of poor humanity。 The home must never lose its contact with the world; it should never be regarded as the real world for which a man works。 It is a place to rest in; to eat in; to work in; in it is the spirit of family life; redolent of affection; mutual aid and self…sacrifice; but more than these; it is the nodal point of affections; concerns and activity which radiate from it to the rest of the world。
CHAPTER XV。 PLAY; RECREATION; HUMOR AND PLEASURE SEEKING One of the great difficulties in thought is that often the same word expresses quite different concepts。 Some superficial resemblance has taken possession of the mind and expressed itself in a unifying word; disregarding the fundamental differences。 Take the word 〃play。〃 The play of childhood is indeed a pleasurable activity to the child; but it is really his form of grappling with life; a serious pursuit of knowledge and a form of preparation for his adult activities。 It is not a way of relaxation; on the contrary; in play he organizes his activities; shuffles and reshuffles his ideas and experiences; looking for the new combinations we call 〃imaginations。〃 The kitten in its play prepares to catch its prey later on; and the child digging in a ditch and making believe 〃this is a house〃 and 〃this is a river〃 is a symbol of Man the mighty changing the face of Nature。 The running and catching games like 〃Tag〃 and 〃I spy;〃 〃Hide and go seek;〃 〃Rellevo〃 are really war games; with training in endurance; agility; cool…headedness; cooperation and rivalry as their goals。 Only as the child grows older; and there is placed on him the burden of school work; does play commence to change its serious nature and partake of the frivolous character of adult life。 For the play of adult life is an effort to find pleasure and relaxation in the dropping of serious purposes; in the 〃forgetting〃 of cares and worries; by indulging in excitement which has no fundamental purpose。 The pleasure of play for the adult is in the release of trends from inhibition; exactly as we may imagine that a harnessed horse; pulling at a load and with his head held back by a check…rein; might feel if he were turned loose in a meadow。 This is the kind of play spirit manifested in going out fishing; dressed in old clothes; with men who will not care whatever is said or done。 There is purpose; there is competition and cooperation and fellowship; but the organization is a loose one and does not bear heavily。 So; too; with the pleasure of a game of ball for the amateur who plays now and then。 There is organization; control and competition; but unless one is a poor loser; there is a relaxed tension in that the purpose is not vital; and one can shout; jump up and down and express himself in uninhibited excitement。 Whether this excitement has a value in discharging other excitement and feelings that are inhibited in the daily work is another matter; if it has such a value; play becomes of necessary importance。 In outdoor games in general; the feeling of physical fitness; of discharging energy along primordial lines and the happy feeling that comes merely from color of sky and grass and the outdoor world; bring a relief from sadness that comes with the work and life of the city man。 Often the play is an effort to seek excitement and thus to forget cares; or it is a seeking of excitement for its own sake。 Thus men gamble; not only for the gain but because such excitement as is aroused offers relief from business worries or home difficulties。 The prize fights; the highly competitive professional sports of all kinds are frequented and followed by enormous numbers of men; not only because men greatly admire physical prowess; but because the intense excitement is sought。 I know more than one business and professional man who goes to the 〃fights〃 because only there can he get a thrill。 There is a generalized mild anhedonia in the community; which has its origin in the fatigue of overintense purposes; failure to realize ideals and the difficulties of choice。 People who suffer in this way often seek the sedentary satisfaction of watching competitive professional games。 Indeed; the hold of competition on man exists not alone in his rivalry feeling toward others; it is evidenced also in the excitement he immediately feels in the presence of competitive struggle; even though he himself has little or no personal stake。 Man is a partisan creature and loves to take sides。 This is remarkably demonstrated by children; and is almost as well shown in the play of adults。 A recent international prize fight awakened more intense interest than almost any international event of whatever real importance。 That same day it passed practically unnoticed that America ended a state of war with Germany。 A law of excitement; that it lies in part in a personal hazard accounts for the growth of betting at games。 The effort to gain adds to the interest; i。 e。; excitement。 That it adds tension as well and may result in fatigue and further boredom is not reckoned with by the bettor or gambler。 To follow the middle of the road in anything is difficult; and nowhere is it more beset with danger than in the seeking of excitement。 Games of skill of all kinds; whether out of doors or within; baseball; cricket; billiards; and pool afford; then; the pleasure of exertion and competition in an exciting way and yet one removed from too great a stake。 Defeat is not bitter; though victory is sweet; a good game is desired; and an easy opponent is not welcomed。 The spirit of this kind of play has been of great value to society; for it has brought the feeling of fair play and sportsmanship to the world。 Primitive in its origin; to take defeat nobly and victory with becoming modesty is the civilizing influence of sportsmanship。 In the past women have lacked good…fellowship and sportsmanship largely because they played no competitive…cooperative games。 I shall not attempt to take up in any detail all the forms of pleasure…excitement seeking。 Dancing; music; the theater and the movies o