d　therefore　came　to　the　resolution　to　declare　strenuously　that　the　bad　money　was　his。　　I　well　remember　the　struggles　of　mind　which　I　had　on　this　occasion；　and　that　I　made　this　deliberate　sin　a　matter　of　prayer　to　God　as　I　passed　over　the　fields　towards　home！　　I　there　promised　that；　if　God　would　but　get　me　clearly　over　this；　or；　in　other　words；　help　me　through　with　the　theft；　I　would　certainly　for　the　future　leave　off　all　evil　practices；　but　this　theft　and　consequent　lying　appeared　to　me　so　necessary；　that　they　could　not　be　dispensed　with。
  〃A　gracious　God　did　not　get　me　safe　through。　　My　master　sent　the　other　apprentice　to　investigate　the　matter。　　The　ironmonger　acknowledged　the　giving　me　the　shilling；　and　I　was　therefore　exposed　to　shame；　reproach；　and　inward　remorse；　which　preyed　upon　my　mind　for　a　considerable　time。　　I　at　this　time　sought　the　Lord；　perhaps　much　more　earnestly　than　ever；　but　with　shame　and　fear。　　I　was　quite　ashamed　to　go　out；　and　never；　till　I　was　assured　that　my　conduct　was　not　spread　over　the　town；　did　I　attend　a　place　of　worship。
  〃I　trust　that；　under　these　circumstances；　I　was　led　to　see　much　more　of　myself　than　I　had　ever　done　before；　and　to　seek　for　mercy　with　greater　earnestness。　　I　attended　prayer…meetings　only；　however；　till　February　10；　1779；　which　being　appointed　a　day　of　fasting　and　prayer；　I　attended　worship　on　that　day。　　Mr。　Chater　＇congregationalist＇　of　Olney　preached；　but　from　what　text　I　have　forgotten。　　He　insisted　much　on　following　Christ　entirely；　and　enforced　his　exhortation　with　that　passage；　'Let　us　therefore　go　out　unto　him　without　the　camp；　bearing　his　reproach。'Heb。　xiii。　13。　　I　think　I　had　a　desire　to　follow　Christ；　but　one　idea　occurred　to　my　mind　on　hearing　those　words　which　broke　me　off　from　the　Church　of　England。　　The　idea　was　certainly　very　crude；　but　useful　in　bringing　me　from　attending　a　lifeless；　carnal　ministry　to　one　more　evangelical。　　I　concluded　that　the　Church　of　England；　as　established　by　law；　was　the　camp　in　which　all　were　protected　from　the　scandal　of　the　cross；　and　that　I　ought　to　bear　the　reproach　of　Christ　among　the　dissenters；　and　accordingly　I　always　afterwards　attended　divine　worship　among　them。〃
  At　eighteen　Carey　was　thus　emptied　of　self　and　there　was　room　for　Christ。　　In　a　neighbouring　village　he　consorted　much　for　a　time　with　some　followers　of　William　Law；　who　had　not　long　before　passed　away　in　a　village　in　the　neighbourhood；　and　select　passages　from　whose　writings　the　Moravian　minister；　Francis　Okely；　of　Northampton；　had　versified。　　These　completed　the　negative　process。　〃I　felt　ruined　and　helpless。〃　　Then　to　his　spiritual　eyes；　purged　of　self；　there　appeared　the　Crucified　One；　and　to　his　spiritual　intelligence　there　was　given　the　Word　of　God。　The　change　was　that　wrought　on　Paul　by　a　Living　Person。　　It　converted　the　hypocritical　Pharisee　into　the　evangelical　preacher；　it　turned　the　vicious　peasant　into　the　most　self…denying　saint；　it　sent　the　village　shoemaker　far　off　to　the　Hindoos。
  But　the　process　was　slow；　it　had　been　so　even　in　Paul's　case。　　Carey　found　encouragement　in　intercourse　with　some　old　Christians　in　Hackleton；　and　he　united　with　a　few　of　them；　including　his　fellow…apprentice；　in　forming　a　congregational　church。　　The　state　of　the　parish　may　be　imagined　from　its　recent　history。　　Hackleton　is　part　of　Piddington；　and　the　squire　had　long　appropriated　the　living　of　？00　a　year；　the　parsonage；　the　glebe；　and　all　tithes；　sending　his　house　minister　〃at　times〃　to　do　duty。　　A　Certificate　from　Northamptonshire；　against　the　pluralities　and　other　such　scandals；　published　in　1641；　declared　that　not　a　child　or　servant　in　Hackleton　or　Piddington　could　say　the　Lord's　Prayer。　　Carey　sought　the　preaching　of　Doddridge's　successor　at　Northampton；　of　a　Baptist　minister　at　Road；　and　of　Scott　the　commentator；　then　at　Ravenstone。　He　had　found　peace；　but　was　theologically　〃inquisitive　and　unsatisfied。〃　　Fortunately；　like　Luther；　he　〃was　obliged　to　draw　all　from　the　Bible　alone。〃
  When；　at　twenty　years　of　age；　Carey　was　slowly　piecing　together　〃the　doctrines　in　the　Word　of　God〃　into　something　like　a　system　which　would　at　once　satisfy　his　own　spiritual　and　intellectual　needs；　and　help　him　to　preach　to　others；　a　little　volume　was　published；　of　which　he　wrote：〃I　do　not　remember　ever　to　have　read　any　book　with　such　raptures。〃　　It　was　Help　to　Zion's　Travellers；　being　an　attempt　to　remove　various　Stumbling…Blocks　out　of　the　Way；　relating　to　Doctrinal；　Experimental；　and　Practical　Religion；　by　Robert　Hall。　The　writer　was　the　father　of　the　greater　Robert　Hall；　a　venerable　man；　who；　in　his　village　church　of　Arnsby；　near　Leicester；　had　already　taught　Carey　how　to　preach。　　The　book　is　described　as　an　〃attempt　to　relieve　discouraged　Christians〃　in　a　day　of　gloominess　and　perplexity；　that　they　might　devote　themselves　to　Christ　through　life　as　well　as　be　found　in　Him　in　death。　　Carey　made　a　careful　synopsis　of　it　in　an　exquisitely　neat　hand　on　the　margin　of　each　page。　　The　worm…eaten　copy；　which　he　treasured　even　in　India；　is　now　deposited　in　Bristol　College。
  A　Calvinist　of　the　broad　missionary　type　of　Paul；　Carey　somewhat　suddenly；　according　to　his　own　account；　became　a　Baptist。　〃I　do　not　recollect　having　read　anything　on　the　subject　till　I　applied　to　Mr。　Ryland；　senior；　to　baptise　me。　　He　lent　me　a　pamphlet；　and　turned　me　over　to　his　son；〃　who　thus　told　the　story　when　the　Baptist　Missionary　Society　held　its　first　public　meeting　in　London：〃October　5th；　1783：　I　baptised　in　the　river　Nen；　a　little　beyond　Dr。　Doddridge's　meeting…house　at　Northampton；　a　poor　journeyman　shoemaker；　little　thinking　that　before　nine　years　had　elapsed；　he　would　prove　the　first　instrument　of　forming　a　society　for　sending　missionaries　from　England　to　preach　the　gospel　to　the　heathen。　　Such；　however；　as　the　event　has　proved；　was　the　purpose　of　the　Most　High；　who　selected　for　this　work　not　the　son　of　one　of　our　most　learned　ministers；　nor　of　one　of　the　most　opulent　of　our　dissenting　gentlemen；　but　the　son　of　a　parish　clerk。〃
  The　spot　may　still　be　visited　at　the　foot　of　the　hill；　where　the　Nen　fed　the　moat　of　the　old　castle；　in　which　many　a　Parliament　sat　from　the　days　of　King　John。　The　text　of　that　morning's　sermon　happened　to　be　the　Lord's　saying；　〃Many　first　shall　be　last；　and　the　last　first；〃　which　asserts　His　absolute　sovereignty　in　choosing　and　in　rewarding　His　missionaries；　and　introduces　the　parable　of　the　labourers　in　the　vineyard。　　As　Carey　wrote　in　the　fulness　of　his　fame；　that　the　evangelical　doctrines　continued　to　be　the　choice　of　his　heart；　so　he　never　wavered　in　his　preference　for　the　Baptist　division　of　the　Christian　host。　　But　from　the　first　he　enjoyed　the　friendship　of　Scott　and　Newton；　and　of　his　neighbour　Mr。　Robinson　of　St。　Mary's；　Leicester；　and　we　shall　see　him　in　India　the　centre　of　the　Episcopal　and　Presbyterian　chaplains　and　missionaries　from　Martyn　Wilson　to　Lacroix　and　Duff。　His　controversial　spirit　died　with　the　youthful　conceit　and　self…righteousness　of　which　it　is　so　often　the　birth。　　When　at　eighteen　he　learned　to　know　himself；　he　became　for　ever　humble。　　A　zeal　like　that　of　his　new…found　Master　took　its　place；　and　all　the　energy　of　his　nature；　every　moment　of　his　time；　was　directed　to　setting　Him　forth。
  In　his　monthly　visits　to　the　father…house　at　Paulerspury　the　new　man　in　him　could　not　be　hid。　　His　sister　gives　us　a　vivid　sketch　of　the　lad；　whose　going　over　to　the　dissenters　was　resented　by　the　formal　and　stern　clerk；　and　whose　evangelicalism　was　a　reproach　to　the　others。
  〃At　this　time　he　was　increasingly　thoughtful；　and　very　was　jealous　for　the　Lord　of　Hosts。　　Like　Gideon；　he　seemed　for　throwing　down　all　the　altars　of　Baal　in　one　night。　　When　he　came　home　we　used　to　wonder　at　the　change。　　We　knew　that　before　he　was　rather　inclined　to　persecute　the　faith　he　now　seemed　to　wish　to　propagate。　　At　first；　perhaps；　his　zeal　exceeded　the　bounds　of　prudence；　but　he　felt　the　importance　of　things　we　were　strangers　to；　and　his　natural　disposition　was　to　pursue　earnestly　what　he　undertook；　so　that　it　was　not　to　be　wondered　at；　though　we　wondered　at　the　change。　　He　stood　alone　in　his　father's　house　for　some　years。　　After　a　time　he　asked　permission　to　have　family　prayer　when　he　came　home　to　see　us；　a　favour　which　he　very　readily　had　granted。　　Often　have　I　felt　my　pride　rise　while　he　was　engaged　in　prayer；　at　the　mention　of　those　words　in　Isaiah；　'that　all　our　righteousness　was　like　filthy　rags。'　I　did　not　think　he　thought　his　so；　but　looked　on　me　and　the　family　as　filthy；　not　himself　and　his　party。　　Oh；　what　pride　is　in　the　human　heart！　　Nothing　but　my　love　to　my　brother　would　have　kept　me　from　showing　my　resentment。〃
  〃A　few　of　the　friends　of　religion　wished　our　brother　to　exercise　his　gifts　by　speaking　to　a　few　friends　in　a　house　licensed　at　Pury；　which　he　did　with　great　acceptance。　　The　next　morning　a　neighbour　of　ours；　a　very　pious　woman；　came　in　to　congratulate　my　mother　on　the　occasion；　and　to　speak　of　the　Lord's　goodness　in　calling　her　son；　and　my　brother；　two　such　near　neighbours；　to　the　same　noble　calling。　My　mother　replied；　'What；　do　you　think　he　will　be　a　preacher？'　'Yes；'　she　replied；　'and　a　great　one；　I　think；　if　spared。'　　From　that　time　till　he　was　settled　at　Moulton