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作者:
津夏 更新:2021-02-24 22:45 字数:9322
Sketches of Young Couples
Sketches of Young
Couples
Charles Dickens。
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Sketches of Young Couples
AN URGENT REMONSTRANCE; &c
TO THE GENTLEMEN OF ENGLAND;
(BEING BACHELORS OR WIDOWERS;)
THE REMONSTRANCE OF THEIR FAITHFUL FELLOW…
SUBJECT;
SHEWETH;…
THAT Her Most Gracious Majesty; Victoria; by the Grace of God of
the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland Queen; Defender of the
Faith; did; on the 23rd day of November last past; declare and pronounce
to Her Most Honourable Privy Council; Her Majesty's Most Gracious
intention of entering into the bonds of wedlock。
THAT Her Most Gracious Majesty; in so making known Her Most
Gracious intention to Her Most Honourable Privy Council as aforesaid;
did use and employ the words … 'It is my intention to ally myself in
marriage with Prince Albert of Saxe Coburg and Gotha。'
THAT the present is Bissextile; or Leap Year; in which it is held and
considered lawful for any lady to offer and submit proposals of marriage
to any gentleman; and to enforce and insist upon acceptance of the same;
under pain of a certain fine or penalty; to wit; one silk or satin dress of the
first quality; to be chosen by the lady and paid (or owed) for; by the
gentleman。
THAT these and other the horrors and dangers with which the said
Bissextile; or Leap Year; threatens the gentlemen of England on every
occasion of its periodical return; have been greatly aggravated and
augmented by the terms of Her Majesty's said Most Gracious
communication; which have filled the heads of divers young ladies in this
Realm with certain new ideas destructive to the peace of mankind; that
never entered their imagination before。
THAT a case has occurred in Camberwell; in which a young lady
informed her Papa that 'she intended to ally herself in marriage' with Mr。
Smith of Stepney; and that another; and a very distressing case; has
occurred at Tottenham; in which a young lady not only stated her intention
of allying herself in marriage with her cousin John; but; taking violent
possession of her said cousin; actually married him。
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THAT similar outrages are of constant occurrence; not only in the
capital and its neighbourhood; but throughout the kingdom; and that unless
the excited female populace be speedily checked and restrained in their
lawless proceedings; most deplorable results must ensue therefrom; among
which may be anticipated a most alarming increase in the population of
the country; with which no efforts of the agricultural or manufacturing
interest can possibly keep pace。
THAT there is strong reason to suspect the existence of a most
extensive plot; conspiracy; or design; secretly contrived by vast numbers
of single ladies in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland; and
now extending its ramifications in every quarter of the land; the object and
intent of which plainly appears to be the holding and solemnising of an
enormous and unprecedented number of marriages; on the day on which
the nuptials of Her said Most Gracious Majesty are performed。
THAT such plot; conspiracy; or design; strongly savours of Popery; as
tending to the discomfiture of the Clergy of the Established Church; by
entailing upon them great mental and physical exhaustion; and that such
Popish plots are fomented and encouraged by Her Majesty's Ministers;
which clearly appears … not only from Her Majesty's principal Secretary of
State for Foreign Affairs traitorously getting married while holding office
under the Crown; but from Mr。 O'Connell having been heard to declare
and avow that; if he had a daughter to marry; she should be married on the
same day as Her said Most Gracious Majesty。
THAT such arch plots; conspiracies; and designs; besides being fraught
with danger to the Established Church; and (consequently) to the State;
cannot fail to bring ruin and bankruptcy upon a large class of Her
Majesty's subjects; as a great and sudden increase in the number of
married men occasioning the comparative desertion (for a time) of Taverns;
Hotels; Billiard…rooms; and Gaming…Houses; will deprive the Proprietors
of their accustomed profits and returns。 And in further proof of the depth
and baseness of such designs; it may be here observed; that all proprietors
of Taverns; Hotels; Billiard…rooms; and Gaming…Houses; are (especially
the last) solemnly devoted to the Protestant religion。
FOR all these reasons; and many others of no less gravity and import;
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Sketches of Young Couples
an urgent appeal is made to the gentlemen of England (being bachelors or
widowers) to take immediate steps for convening a Public meeting; To
consider of the best and surest means of averting the dangers with which
they are threatened by the recurrence of Bissextile; or Leap Year; and the
additional sensation created among single ladies by the terms of Her
Majesty's Most Gracious Declaration; To take measures; without delay; for
resisting the said single Ladies; and counteracting their evil designs; And
to pray Her Majesty to dismiss her present Ministers; and to summon to
her Councils those distinguished Gentlemen in various Honourable
Professions who; by insulting on all occasions the only Lady in England
who can be insulted with safety; have given a sufficient guarantee to Her
Majesty's Loving Subjects that they; at least; are qualified to make war
with women; and are already expert in the use of those weapons which are
common to the lowest and most abandoned of the sex。
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Sketches of Young Couples
THE YOUNG COUPLE
There is to be a wedding this morning at the corner house in the
terrace。 The pastry…cook's people have been there half…a…dozen times
already; all day yesterday there was a great stir and bustle; and they were
up this morning as soon as it was light。 Miss Emma Fielding is going to be
married to young Mr。 Harvey。
Heaven alone can tell in what bright colours this marriage is painted
upon the mind of the little housemaid at number six; who has hardly slept
a wink all night with thinking of it; and now stands on the unswept door…
steps leaning upon her broom; and looking wistfully towards the
enchanted house。 Nothing short of omniscience can divine what visions of
the baker; or the green… grocer; or the smart and most insinuating
butterman; are flitting across her mind … what thoughts of how she would
dress on such an occasion; if she were a lady … of how she would dress; if
she were only a bride … of how cook would dress; being bridesmaid;
conjointly with her sister 'in place' at Fulham; and how the clergyman;
deeming them so many ladies; would be quite humbled and respectful。
What day…dreams of hope and happiness … of life being one perpetual
holiday; with no master and no mistress to grant or withhold it … of every
Sunday being a Sunday out … of pure freedom as to curls and ringlets; and
no obligation to hide fine heads of hair in caps … what pictures of
happiness; vast and immense to her; but utterly ridiculous to us; bewilder
the brain of the little housemaid at number six; all called into existence by
the wedding at the corner!
We smile at such things; and so we should; though perhaps for a better
reason than commonly presents itself。 It should be pleasant to us to know
that there are notions of happiness so moderate and limited; since upon
those who entertain them; happiness and lightness o