第 1 节
作者:津夏      更新:2021-02-24 22:45      字数:9322
  Sketches of Young Couples
  Sketches of Young
  Couples
  Charles Dickens。
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  Sketches of Young Couples
  AN URGENT REMONSTRANCE; &c
  TO THE GENTLEMEN OF ENGLAND;
  (BEING BACHELORS OR WIDOWERS;)
  THE       REMONSTRANCE               OF     THEIR       FAITHFUL          FELLOW…
  SUBJECT;
  SHEWETH;…
  THAT Her Most Gracious Majesty; Victoria; by the Grace of God of
  the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland Queen; Defender of the
  Faith; did; on the 23rd day of November last past; declare and pronounce
  to   Her   Most   Honourable   Privy   Council;   Her   Majesty's   Most   Gracious
  intention of entering into the bonds of wedlock。
  THAT   Her   Most   Gracious   Majesty;   in   so   making   known   Her   Most
  Gracious   intention   to   Her   Most   Honourable   Privy   Council   as   aforesaid;
  did   use   and   employ   the   words   …   'It   is   my   intention   to   ally   myself   in
  marriage with Prince Albert of Saxe Coburg and Gotha。'
  THAT the present is Bissextile; or Leap Year; in which it is held and
  considered lawful for any lady to offer and submit proposals of marriage
  to any gentleman; and to enforce and insist upon acceptance of the same;
  under pain of a certain fine or penalty; to wit; one silk or satin dress of the
  first   quality;   to   be   chosen   by   the   lady   and   paid   (or   owed)   for;   by   the
  gentleman。
  THAT   these   and   other   the   horrors   and   dangers   with   which   the   said
  Bissextile;   or   Leap   Year;   threatens   the   gentlemen   of   England   on   every
  occasion      of  its  periodical    return;   have   been    greatly   aggravated      and
  augmented        by    the   terms    of   Her     Majesty's     said   Most     Gracious
  communication; which have filled the heads of divers young ladies in this
  Realm   with   certain   new   ideas   destructive   to   the   peace   of   mankind;   that
  never entered their imagination before。
  THAT   a   case   has   occurred   in   Camberwell;   in   which   a   young   lady
  informed her Papa that 'she intended to ally herself in marriage' with Mr。
  Smith     of  Stepney;    and   that   another;   and   a  very   distressing   case;   has
  occurred at Tottenham; in which a young lady not only stated her intention
  of   allying   herself   in   marriage   with   her   cousin   John;   but;   taking   violent
  possession of her said cousin; actually married him。
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  Sketches of Young Couples
  THAT   similar   outrages   are   of   constant   occurrence;   not   only   in   the
  capital and its neighbourhood; but throughout the kingdom; and that unless
  the   excited   female   populace   be   speedily   checked   and   restrained   in   their
  lawless proceedings; most deplorable results must ensue therefrom; among
  which   may  be   anticipated   a   most   alarming   increase in the   population of
  the   country;   with   which   no   efforts   of   the   agricultural   or   manufacturing
  interest can possibly keep pace。
  THAT      there   is  strong    reason    to  suspect    the  existence     of  a  most
  extensive plot; conspiracy; or design; secretly contrived by vast numbers
  of single ladies in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland; and
  now extending its ramifications in every quarter of the land; the object and
  intent of   which   plainly  appears   to be   the holding   and   solemnising   of   an
  enormous and unprecedented number of marriages; on the day on which
  the nuptials of Her said Most Gracious Majesty are performed。
  THAT such plot; conspiracy; or design; strongly savours of Popery; as
  tending   to   the   discomfiture   of   the   Clergy   of   the   Established   Church;   by
  entailing upon them great mental and physical exhaustion; and that such
  Popish   plots   are   fomented   and   encouraged   by   Her   Majesty's   Ministers;
  which clearly appears … not only from Her Majesty's principal Secretary of
  State for Foreign Affairs traitorously getting married while holding office
  under   the   Crown;   but   from  Mr。   O'Connell   having   been   heard   to   declare
  and avow that; if he had a daughter to marry; she should be married on the
  same day as Her said Most Gracious Majesty。
  THAT such arch plots; conspiracies; and designs; besides being fraught
  with   danger   to   the   Established   Church;   and   (consequently)   to   the   State;
  cannot     fail  to  bring    ruin  and    bankruptcy     upon    a   large   class  of   Her
  Majesty's      subjects;   as  a  great   and    sudden    increase    in  the   number     of
  married men occasioning the comparative desertion (for a time) of Taverns;
  Hotels; Billiard…rooms; and Gaming…Houses; will deprive the Proprietors
  of their accustomed profits and returns。 And in further proof of the depth
  and baseness of such designs; it may be here observed; that all proprietors
  of   Taverns;   Hotels;   Billiard…rooms;   and   Gaming…Houses;   are   (especially
  the last) solemnly devoted to the Protestant religion。
  FOR all these reasons; and many others of no less gravity and import;
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  Sketches of Young Couples
  an urgent appeal is made to the gentlemen of England (being bachelors or
  widowers)   to   take   immediate   steps   for   convening   a   Public   meeting;   To
  consider of the best and surest means of averting the dangers with which
  they are threatened by the recurrence of Bissextile; or Leap Year; and the
  additional     sensation    created    among     single   ladies   by   the  terms   of  Her
  Majesty's Most Gracious Declaration; To take measures; without delay; for
  resisting the said single Ladies; and counteracting their evil designs; And
  to pray Her Majesty to dismiss her present Ministers; and to summon to
  her    Councils     those    distinguished      Gentlemen      in   various    Honourable
  Professions who; by insulting on all occasions the only Lady in England
  who can be insulted with safety; have given a sufficient guarantee to Her
  Majesty's   Loving   Subjects   that   they;   at   least;   are   qualified   to   make   war
  with women; and are already expert in the use of those weapons which are
  common to the lowest and most abandoned of the sex。
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  THE YOUNG COUPLE
  There   is   to   be   a   wedding   this   morning   at   the   corner   house   in   the
  terrace。    The    pastry…cook's     people    have   been    there   half…a…dozen     times
  already; all day yesterday there was a great stir and bustle; and they were
  up this morning as soon as it was light。 Miss Emma Fielding is going to be
  married to young Mr。 Harvey。
  Heaven alone can tell in what bright colours this marriage is painted
  upon the mind of the little housemaid at number six; who has hardly slept
  a wink all night with thinking of it; and now stands on the unswept door…
  steps     leaning    upon    her    broom;     and   looking     wistfully    towards     the
  enchanted house。 Nothing short of omniscience can divine what visions of
  the    baker;   or   the  green…    grocer;    or  the   smart    and   most    insinuating
  butterman; are flitting across her mind … what thoughts of how she would
  dress on such an occasion; if she were a lady … of how she would dress; if
  she   were   only   a   bride   …   of   how   cook   would   dress;   being   bridesmaid;
  conjointly   with   her   sister   'in   place'   at   Fulham;   and   how   the   clergyman;
  deeming   them   so   many   ladies;   would   be   quite   humbled   and   respectful。
  What   day…dreams   of   hope   and   happiness   …   of   life   being   one   perpetual
  holiday; with no master and no mistress to grant or withhold it … of every
  Sunday being a Sunday out … of pure freedom as to curls and ringlets; and
  no    obligation    to  hide   fine   heads    of  hair   in  caps   …  what    pictures   of
  happiness; vast and immense to her; but utterly ridiculous to us; bewilder
  the brain of the little housemaid at number six; all called into existence by
  the wedding at the corner!
  We smile at such things; and so we should; though perhaps for a better
  reason than commonly presents itself。 It should be pleasant to us to know
  that   there   are   notions   of   happiness   so   moderate   and   limited;   since   upon
  those who entertain them; happiness and lightness o