The　State　in　all　European　countries；　and　in　England　first　of　all；　as　I　hope；　will　discover　that　its　functions　are　now；　and　have　long　been；　very　wide　of　what　the　State　in　old　pedant　Downing　Streets　has　aimed　at；　that　the　State　is；　for　the　present；　not　a　reality　but　in　great　part　a　dramatic　speciosity；　expending　its　strength　in　practices　and　objects　fallen　many　of　them　quite　obsolete；　that　it　must　come　a　little　nearer　the　true　aim　again；　or　it　cannot　continue　in　this　world。　　The　〃Champion　of　England〃　eased　in　iron　or　tin；　and　〃able　to　mount　his　horse　with　little　assistance；〃this　Champion　and　the　thousand…fold　cousinry　of　Phantasms　he　has；　nearly　all　dead　now　but　still　walking　as　ghosts；　must　positively　take　himself　away：　who　can　endure　him；　and　his　solemn　trumpetings　and　obsolete　gesticulations；　in　a　Time　that　is　full　of　deadly　realities；　coming　open…mouthed　upon　us？　At　Drury　Lane；　let　him　play　his　part；　him　and　his　thousand…fold　cousinry；　and　welcome；　so　long　as　any　public　will　pay　a　shilling　to　see　him：　　but　on　the　solid　earth；　under　the　extremely　earnest　stars；　we　dare　not　palter　with　him；　or　accept　his　tomfooleries　any　more。　　Ridiculous　they　seem　to　some；　horrible　they　seem　to　me：　　all　lies；　if　one　look　whence　they　come　and　whither　they　go；　are　horrible。
  Alas；　it　will　be　found；　I　doubt；　that　in　England　more　than　in　any　country；　our　Public　Life　and　our　Private；　our　State　and　our　Religion；　and　all　that　we　do　and　speak　（and　the　most　even　of　what　we　_think_）；　is　a　tissue　of　half…truths　and　whole…lies；　of　hypocrisies；　conventionalisms；　worn…out　traditionary　rags　and　cobwebs；　such　a　life…garment　of　beggarly　incredible　and　uncredited　falsities　as　no　honest　souls　of　Adam's　Posterity　were　ever　enveloped　in　before。　　And　we　walk　about　in　it　with　a　stately　gesture；　as　if　it　were　some　priestly　stole　or　imperial　mantle；　not　the　foulest　beggar's　gabardine　that　ever　was。　　〃No　Englishman　dare　believe　the　truth；〃　says　one：　〃he　stands；　for　these　two　hundred　years；　enveloped　in　lies　of　every　kind；　from　nadir　to　zenith　an　ocean　of　traditionary　cant　surrounds　him　as　his　life…element。　　He　really　thinks　the　truth　dangerous。　　Poor　wretch；　you　see　him　everywhere　endeavoring　to　temper　the　truth　by　taking　the　falsity　along　with　it；　and　welding　them　together；　this　he　calls　'safe　course；'　'moderate　course；'　and　other　fine　names；　there；　balanced　between　God　and　the　Devil；　he　thinks　he　_can_　serve　two　masters；　and　that　things　will　go　well　with　him。〃
  In　the　cotton…spinning　and　similar　departments　our　English　friend　knows　well　that　truth　or　God　will　have　nothing　to　do　with　the　Devil　or　falsehood；　but　will　ravel　all　the　web　to　pieces　if　you　introduce　the　Devil　or　Non…veracity　in　any　form　into　it：　　in　this　department；　therefore；　our　English　friend　avoids　falsehood。　　But　in　the　religious；　political；　social；　moral；　and　all　other　spiritual　departments　he　freely　introduces　falsehood；　nothing　doubting；　and　has　long　done　so；　with　a　profuseness　not　elsewhere　met　with　in　the　world。　　The　unhappy　creature；　does　he　not　know；　then；　that　every　lie　is　accursed；　and　the　parent　of　mere　curses？　　That　he　must　_think_　the　truth；　much　more　speak　it？　　That；　above　all　things；　by　the　oldest　law　of　Heaven　and　Earth　which　no　man　violates　with　impunity；　he　must　not　and　shall　not　wag　the　tongue　of　him　except　to　utter　his　thought？　　That　there　is　not　a　grin　or　beautiful　acceptable　grimace　he　can　execute　upon　his　poor　countenance；　but　is　either　an　express　veracity；　the　image　of　what　passes　within　him；　or　else　is　a　bit　of　Devil…worship　which　he　and　the　rest　of　us　will　have　to　pay　for　yet？　　Alas；　the　grins　he　executes　upon　his　poor　_mind_　（which　is　all　tortured　into　St。　Vitus　dances；　and　ghastly　merry…andrewisms；　by　the　practice）　are　the　most　extraordinary　this　sun　ever　saw。
  We　have　Puseyisms；　black…and…white　surplice　controversies：do　not；　officially　and　otherwise；　the　select　of　the　longest　heads　in　England　sit　with　intense　application　and　iron　gravity；　in　open　forum；　judging　of　〃prevenient　grace〃？　　Not　a　head　of　them　suspects　that　it　can　be　improper　so　to　sit；　or　of　the　nature　of　treason　against　the　Power　who　gave　an　Intellect　to　man；that　it　can　be　other　than　the　duty　of　a　good　citizen　to　use　his　god…given　intellect　in　investigating　prevenient　grace；　supervenient　moonshine；　or　the　color　of　the　Bishop's　nightmare；　if　that　happened　to　turn　up。　　I　consider　them　far　ahead　of　Cicero's　Roman　Augurs　with　their　chicken…bowels：　〃Behold　these　divine　chicken…bowels；　O　Senate　and　Roman　People；　the　midriff　has　fallen　eastward！〃　solemnly　intimates　one　Augur。　〃By　Proserpina　and　the　triple　Hecate！〃　exclaims　the　other；　〃I　say　the　midriff　has　fallen　to　the　west！〃　And　they　look　at　one　another　with　the　seriousness　of　men　prepared　to　die　in　their　opinion；the　authentic　seriousness　of　men　betting　at　Tattersall's；　or　about　to　receive　judgment　in　Chancery。　　There　is　in　the　Englishman　something　great；　beyond　all　Roman　greatness；　in　whatever　line　you　meet　him；　even　as　a　Latter…Day　Augur　he　seeks　his　fellow！Poor　devil；　I　believe　it　is　his　intense　love　of　peace；　and　hatred　of　breeding　discussions　which　lead　no…whither；　that　has　led　him　into　this　sad　practice　of　amalgamating　true　and　false。
  He　has　been　at　it　these　two　hundred　years；　and　has　now　carried　it　to　a　terrible　length。　　He　couldn't　follow　Oliver　Cromwell　in　the　Puritan　path　heavenward；　so　steep　was　it；　and　beset　with　thorns；and　becoming　uncertain　withal。　　He　much　preferred；　at　that　juncture；　to　go　heavenward　with　his　Charles　Second　and　merry　Nell　Gwynns；　and　old　decent　formularies　and　good　respectable　aristocratic　company；　for　escort；　sore　he　tried；　by　glorious　restorations；　glorious　revolutions　and　so　forth；　to　perfect　this　desirable　amalgam；　hoped　always　it　might　be　possible；is　only　just　now；　if　even　now；　beginning　to　give　up　the　hope；　and　to　see　with　wide…eyed　horror　that　it　is　not　at　Heaven　he　is　arriving；　but　at　the　Stygian　marshes；　with　their　thirty　thousand　Needlewomen；　cannibal　Connaughts；　rivers　of　lamentation；　continual　wail　of　infants；　and　the　yellow…burning　gleam　of　a　Hell…on…Earth！Bull；　my　friend；　you　must　strip　that　astonishing　pontiff…stole；　imperial　mantle；　or　whatever　you　imagine　it　to　be；　which　I　discern　to　be　a　garment　of　curses；　and　poisoned　Nessus'…shirt　now　at　last　about　to　take　fire　upon　you；　you　must　strip　that　off　your　poor　body；　my　friend；　and；　were　it　only　in　a　soul's　suit　of　Utilitarian　buff；　and　such　belief　as　that　a　big　loaf　is　better　than　a　small　one；　come　forth　into　contact　with　your　world；　under　_true_　professions　again；　and　not　false。　　You　wretched　man；　you　ought　to　weep　for　half　a　century　on　discovering　what　lies　you　have　believed；　and　what　every　lie　leads　to　and　proceeds　from。　　O　my　friend；　no　honest　fellow　in　this　Planet　was　ever　so　served　by　his　cooks　before；　or　has　eaten　such　quantities　and　qualities　of　dirt　as　you　have　been　made　to　do；　for　these　two　centuries　past。　　Arise；　my　horribly　maltreated　yet　still　beloved　Bull；　steep　yourself　in　running　water　for　a　long　while；　my　friend；　and　begin　forthwith　in　every　conceivable　direction；　physical　and　spiritual；　the　long…expected　_Scavenger　Age_。
  Many　doctors　have　you　had；　my　poor　friend；　but　I　perceive　it　is　the　Water…Cure　alone　that　will　help　you：　　a　complete　course　of　_scavengerism_　is　the　thing　you　need！　　A　new　and　veritable　heart…divorce　of　England　from　the　Babylonish　woman；　who　is　Jesuitism　and　Unveracity；　and　dwells　not　at　Rome　now；　but　under　your　own　nose　and　everywhere；　whom；　and　her　foul　worship　of　Phantasms　and　Devils；　poor　England　_had_　once　divorced；　with　a　divine　heroism　not　forgotten　yet；　and　well　worth　remembering　now：　　a　clearing…out　of　Church　and　State　from　the　unblessed　host　of　Phantasms　which　have　too　long　nestled　thick　there；　under　those　astonishing　〃Defenders　of　the　Faith；〃Defenders　of　the　Hypocrisies；　the　spiritual　Vampires　and　obscene　Nightmares；　under　which　England　lies　in　syncope；this　is　what　you　need；　and　if　you　cannot　get　it；　you　must　die；　my　poor　friend！
  Like　people；　like　priest。　　Priest；　King；　Home　Office；　all　manner　of　establishments　and　offices　among　a　people　bear　a　striking　resemblance　to　the　people　itself。　　It　is　because　Bull　has　been　eating　so　much　dirt　that　his　Home　Offices　have　got　into　such　a　shockingly　dirty　condition；the　old　pavements　of　them　quite　gone　out　of　sight　and　out　of　memory；　and　nothing　but　mountains　of　long…accumulated　dung　in　which　the　poor　cattle　are　sprawling　and　tumbling。　　Had　his　own　life　been　pure；　had　his　own　daily　conduct　been　grounding　itself　on　the　clear　pavements　or　actual　beliefs　and　veracities；　would　he　have　let　his　Home　Offices　come　to　such　a　pass？　　Not　in　Downing　Street　only；　but　in　all　other　thoroughfares　and　arenas　and　spiritual　or　physical　departments　of　his　existence；　running　water　and　Herculean　scavengerism　have　become　indispensable；　unless　the　poor　man　is　to　choke　in　his　own　exuviae；　and　die　the　sorrowfulest　death。
  If　the　State　could　once　get　back　to　the　real　sight　of　its　essential　function；　and　with　religious　resolution　begin　doing　that；　and　putting　away　its　multifarious　imaginary　functions；　and　indignantly　casting　out　these　as　mere　dung　and　insalubrious　horror　and　abomination　（which　they　are）；　what　a　promise　of　reform　were　there！　　The　British　Home　Office；　surely　this　and　its　kindred　Offices　exi