rampaging　boor。　We　had　no　choice。　Hungarians　had　to　be　talked　to　about　homes；　jobs；
  training；　money；　driver’s　licenses；　and　the　education　of　their　children。
  “Tomorrow　we’ll　go　to　the　butcher’s；”　for　instance；　had　to　do　without　the　thirty…
  nine　grammatical　inflections　a　Hungarian　sentence　of　that　length　would　properly　entail。
  We　did　it　with　nothing　but　the　translation　of　essential　words：　“Tomorrow　go　meat
  fellow。”　“A　charitable　woman　is　coming　by　to　help　you　with　your　furniture　needs”
  became　“Nice　lady　come　soon　give　tables　chairs。”
  I　learned　Hungarian　fluently　–　and　badly。　Many　years　later　I　decided　to　return　to
  Hungarian　and　learn　it　properly　and　grammatically。　It’s　a　little　like　being　back　in　Latin
  class；　but　this　time　I　have　a　much　better　attitude。
  New　Friends
  For　the　next　thirty…five　years　I　stood　my　ground　and　resisted　taking　up　any　new　language。
  The　languages　I’d　studied　up　to　that　point　included　Spanish；　French；　Italian；　German；
  Portugese；　Dutch；　Norwegian；　Danish；　Swedish；　Russian；　Serbo…Croatian；　Chinese
  （Mandarin　dialect）；　Indonesian；　Hungarian；　Finnish；　Yiddish　and　Hebrew。　I　happily
  applied　myself　to　building　competence　in　those　languages　and　turning　a　deaf　ear　to　all
  others。
  It　was　tempting　to　tackle　Greek；　so　many　Greeks　I　could　have　practiced　with　were
  popping　up　in　my　daily　travels；　but　I　clung　to　my　policy　of　“No　more　languages；　thank
  you！”　That　policy　was　misguided；　in　fact；　swine　headed。　I　was　like　the　waiter　standing
  there　with　arms　folded　who　gets　asked　by　a　diner　if　he　knows　what　time　it　is　and
  brusquely　replies　“Sorry。　That’s　not　my　table！”
  I　could　have　easily　and　profitably　picked　up　a　few　words　and　phrases　every　time　I
  went　to　the　Greek　coffee　shop　and　in　the　process　learned　another　major　language。　But　I
  didn’t。　In　the　1980’s　immigrants　to　New　York；　where　I　lived；　began　to　pour　in　from
  unaccustomed　corners　of　the　world；　adding　languages　like　Hindi；　Urdu；　Punjabi；　Farsi；
  Bengali；　Pashtu；　Twi；　Fanti；　Wollof；　Albanian；　and　Dagumbi　to　our　already　rich
  inventory　of　Spanish；　Chinese；　Italian；　Yiddish；　Portugese；　Greek；　Polish；　and　Hebrew。　I
  abandoned　the　policy。　Now　I　want　to　learn　them　all　–　not　completely；　just　enough　to
  delight　the　heart　of　an　Indian　or　African　cab　driver　who　never　before　in　his　entire　life　met
  an　American　who　tried　to　learn　his　language。
  P　A　R　T　T　W　O
  The　System
  Do　as　I　Now　Say；
  Not　as　I　Then　Did
  A　wise　man　once　said；　“I　wish　I　had　all　the　time　I’ve　ever　wasted；　so　I　could　waste　it　all
  over　again。”　Others　may　look　at　me　and　see　someone　who　can；　indeed；　carry　on　a
  creditable　conversation　in　about　eighteen　languages。　I’m　the　only　one　who　knows　how
  much　of　my　language　learning　time　has　been　wasted；　how　little　I’ve　got　to　show　for　all
  those　years　of　study；　considering　the　huge　hunks　of　time　I’ve　put　into　it。　In　fact；　I　feel
  like　one　of　those　hardened　convicts　who’s　occasionally　let　out　of　jail　under　armed　guard
  to　lecture　the　sophomore　class　on　the　importance　of　going　straight。
  If　I　had　to　do　it　all　over　again；　I　wouldn’t　do　it　at　all　the　way　I　did　then。　I’d　do　it　the
  way　I’m　doing　it　now；　the　way　I　will　detail　in　this　book。　It’s　the　way　I’ve　finally　grown
  into　and　the　way　I　hope　you　will　proceed　in　order　to　get　the　absolute　most　out　of　your
  language　learning　dollar　and　your　language　learning　minute。
  Here　are　some　of　the　myths　I　held　dear　in　the　years　when　I　thought　I　knew　how　to
  study　languages；　myths　I　now　want　to　trample　before　you　get　the　slightest　bit　seduced　by
  them。
  I’ll　put　on　my　language　cassettes　while　I　work　around　the　house　and　learn　the
  language　as　easily　as　I　learn　the　lyrics　to　popular　songs。
  Great　image。　It　just　doesn’t　work。　You　can’t　just　push　a　button　and　let　the　language
  you　want　to　learn　roll　over　you。　Expecting　to　learn　a　language　by　laid　back　listening　is
  like　expecting　to　build　a　magnificent　body　by　going　to　the　gym；　sitting　in　the　steam　room；
  chugging　a　glass　of　carrot　juice；　and　then　bragging　about　your　“workout！”
  You’re　going　to　have　to　study　the　material　on　that　cassette；　capture　every　word；
  learn　it；　review　it；　master　it；　and　then　check　challenge　yourself　after　every　piece　of
  English。　（We’ll　consider　a　“piece”　to　be　whatever　the　speaker　on　the　cassette　says　in
  English　before　you　hear　the　target　language。　It　may　be　a　word；　a　phrase；　a　whole
  sentence。）
  Abandon　all　images　of　language　learning　that　resemble　lying　on　a　tropical　beach
  and　letting　the　warm　surf　splash　over　you。　Pretend；　instead；　as　you　listen　to　your　cassette；
  that　you’re　a　contestant　on　a　TV　game　show。　After　each　piece　of　English；　ask　yourself；
  “For　one　thousand　dollars　now；　quick；　how　do　I　say　that　in　the　language　I’m　trying　to
  learn？”
  Since　I’m　not　in　school　anymore；　time　isn’t　important。　I’ll　take　my　time；　skip　a　day；
  skip　two　days；　the　language　will　still　be　there　when　I　get　back　to　it。
  Spoken　like　a　true　linguaphony。　A　language　has　a　lot　in　common　with　a　military
  foe。　Don’t　let　it　rest。　Don’t　let　it　regroup　and　devise　fresh　ways　to　foil　your　attack。　Keep
  up　the　rhythm　of　your　offensive。　Keep　your　momentum　going。　（This　is　only　an
  illustration　of　tactics；　of　course；　no　language　is　an　enemy。）　A　programme　that　features
  disciplined　effort　will　convince　you　that　you’re　serious　and　generate　fresh　inspiration　and
  energy。
  The　chapter　I’m　studying　now　is　hard　and　probably　not　too　important。　I’ll　skip　it
  and　get　back　to　it　later　on。
  That’s　a　giant　killer。　The　declension　of　the　numbers　in　Russian。　The　subjunctive　in
  the　Romance　languages。　The　double　infinitive　in　German。　The　enclitics　in　Serbo…
  Croatian。　The　noun　cases　in　Finnish。　Almost　every　language　has　formidable　mountains　to
  climb。　Don’t　walk　around　them。　Climb　them！　Take　one　step　at　a　time。　Just　be　careful
  never　to　surrender　to　the　temptation　to　beg　off　the　hard　stuff　and　learn　only　those　parts　of
  the　language　you　find　congenial。
  It　will　seem　masochistic；　but　I　want　you　to　learn　the　names　of　the　letters　of　the
  alphabet　in　your　target　language　and　the　grammatical　terms　too；　so　that　when　you　ask　a
  native　how　a　certain　word　is　spelled；　you　can　bandy　the　letters　back　and　forth　in　the
  language。　When　you　ask　a　native　for　the　past　tense　of　this　verb　or　the　negative　plural　of
  that　noun；　do　your　asking　in　the　target　language。
  I’m　never　going　to　pose　as　a　native　speaker　of　their　language；　and　I’d　never　be　able
  to　pull　it　off　even　if　I　tried；　so　why　bother　to　develop　the　right　accent？
  Nobody　is　arrested　for　indecent　exposure　just　because　he　dresses　poorly。　On　the
  other　hand；　a　person　unconcerned　about　dress　will　never　impress　us　with　his　appearance。
  It’s　the　same　with　the　proper　accent。　As　long　as　you’re　going　to　go　to　the　trouble　of
  learning　a　language；　why　not　try　–　at　very　little　extra　cost　–　to　mimic　the　genuine　accent。
  A　poor　accent　will　still　get　you　what　you　want。　A　good　accent　will　get　you　much
  more。
  If　you　can　put　on　a　foreign　accent　to　tell　ethnic　jokes；　you　can　put　one　on　when　you
  speak　another　language。　If　you　think　you　can’t；　try！　A　lot　of　Americans　believe　they’re
  unable　to　capture　a　foreign　accent　when　subconsciously　they’re　merely　reluctant　to　try。
  We’re　all　taught　that　it’s　rude　to　make　fun　of　foreigners。　That　childhood　etiquette　is
  hereby　countermanded。　“Make　fun”　of　the　foreigner’s　accent　as　effectively　as　you　can　as
  you　learn　his　language。
  Your　“infancy”　in　a　foreign　language　is　spent　learning　to　grope　with　incomplete
  phrases　made　up　of　incorrect　words　to　mash　your　meaning　across。　“Babyhood”　comes
  when　some　of　the　phrases　are　complete　and　more　of　the　words　are　correct。
  “Childhood”　arrives　when　you　can　deal　rather　fluently　with　concepts　involving
  bread；　bed；　buttons；　and　buses；　even　though　you　can’t　yet　discuss　glassblowing　in
  Renaissance　Estonia。
  “Adulthood”　is　being　able　to　discuss　absolutely　anything；　but　with　a　pronounced
  American　accent。　With　“maturity”　you　acquire　a　creditable　accent　in　the　language。　You’ll
  know　you’ve　achieved　maturity　when　you　become　annoyed　at　other　Americans　you　hear
  plodding　through　the　language　with　no　effort　to　“foreignise”　their　accent　to　approximate
  the　correct　one。
  Be　content　with　partial　victories。　I　rejoiced　the　moment　I　learned　I　could　speak
  Swedish　well　enough　to　convince　a　Norwegian　I　was　a　Finn。　I　celebrated　when　I　realised
  I　could　speak　Serbo…Croatian　well　enough　to　convince　an　Italian　I　was　a　Czech！
  There　will　come　a　moment　when　I　will　cross　a　border　and　earn　the　right　to　say；
  “Yes；　I　speak　your　language”！
  There’s　no　such　border。　Learning　a　language　is　a　process　of　encroachment　into　the
  unknown。　When　can　you　say　you　“speak　a　language”？　The　famous　ophthalmologist　Dr。
  Peter　Halberg　of　New　York　refuses　to　consider　that　he　speaks　a　language　unless　and　until