How　to　Learn　Any　Language
  Quickly；　Easily；　Inexpensively；　Enjoyably　and　On　Your　Own
  by
  Barry　Farber
  Founder　of　the　Language　Club/Nationally　Syndicated　Talk　Show　Host
  To　Bibi　and　Celia；　for　the　pleasure　of　helping　teach　them
  their　first　language；　followed　by　the　pleasure　of　having　them
  then　teach　me　their　second！
  Contents
  Acknowledgements
  Introduction
  Part　I：　My　Story
  A　Life　of　Language　Learning
  Part　II：　The　System
  Do　As　I　Now　Say；　Not　As　I　Then　Did
  Psych　Up
  French　or　Tagalog：　Choosing　a　Language
  Gathering　Your　Tools
  The　Multiple　Track　Attack
  Hidden　Moments
  Harry　Lorayne’s　Magic　Memory　Aid
  The　Plunge
  Motivations
  Language　Power　to　the　People
  Back　to　Basics
  Last　Words　Before　the　Wedding
  Part　III：　Appendices
  The　Language　Club
  The　Principal　Languages　of　the　World
  Farber’s　Language　Reviews
  Acknowledgements
  I　want　to　thank　my　editor；　Bruce　Shostak；　without　whose　skill　and　patience　much　of
  this　book　would　have　been　intelligible　only　to　others　who’ve　had　a　blinding　passion　for
  foreign　languages　since　1944。　I　further　thank　my　publisher；　Steven　Schragis；　for
  venturing　into　publishing　territory　heretofore　officially　listed　as　“uninteresting”。　Dr。
  Henry　Urbanski；　Founder　and　Head　of　the　New　Paltz　Language　Immersion　Institute；　was
  good　enough　to　review　key　portions　of　the　manuscript　and　offer　toweringly　helpful
  amendments。　Dr。　Urbanski’s　associate；　Dr。　Hans　Weber；　was　supremely　helpful　in
  safeguarding　against　error。
  I　further　wish　to　thank　all　my　fellow　language　lovers　from　around　the　world　who
  interrupted　their　conversations　at　practice　parties　of　the　Language　Club　to　serve　as
  willing　guinea　pigs　for　my　questions　and　experimentations　in　their　native　languages。
  How　to　Learn　Any　Language
  Introduction
  This　may　be　the　most　frequently　told　joke　in　the　world　–　it’s　repeated　every　day　in　almost
  every　language：
  “What　do　you　call　a　person　who　speaks　two　languages？”
  “Bilingual。”
  “What　do　you　call　a　person　who　speaks　three　languages？”
  “Trilingual。”
  “What　do　you　call　a　person　who　speaks　four　languages？”
  “Quadrilingual。”
  “What　do　you　call　a　person　who　speaks　only　one　language？”
  “An　American！”
  With　your　help　this　book　can　wipe　that　smile　off　the　world’s　face。
  The　reason　Americans　have　been　such　notoriously　poor　language　learners　up　to
  now　is　twofold：
  1。　We’ve　never　really　had　to　learn　other　peoples’　languages　before；　and
  2。　Almost　all　foreign　language　instruction　available　to　the　average　American　has
  been　until　now　（one　hates　to　be　cruel）　worthless。　“I　took　two　years　of　high　school　French
  and　four　more　years　in　college　and　I　couldn’t　even　order　orange　juice　in　Marseilles”　is
  more　than　a　self　effacing　exaggeration。　It’s　a　fact；　a　shameful；　culturally　impoverishing；
  economically　dangerous；　self　defeating　fact！
  Modern　commerce　and　communications　have　erased　reason　1。
  You　and　the　method　laid　out　in　this　book；　working　together；　will　erase　reason　2。
  It　started　for　me　when　I　learned　that　the　Norwegian　word　for　“squirrel”　was　acorn。
  It　may　have　been　spelled　ekorn；　but　it　was　pronounced　acorn。　Then　I　learned　that
  “Mickey　Mouse”　in　Swedish　is　Mussie　Pig。　Again；　the　Swedish　spelling　varied；　but　so
  what？　As　delights　like　those　continued　to　come　my　way；　I　realised　I　was　being　locked
  tighter　and　tighter　into　the　happy　pursuit　of　language　love　and　language　learning。
  My　favourite　music　is　the　babble　of　strange　tongues　in　the　marketplace。　No
  painting；　no　art；　no　photograph　in　the　world　can　excite　me　as　much　as　a　printed　page　of
  text　in　a　foreign　language　I　can’t　read　–　yet！
  I　embraced　foreign　language　study　as　a　hobby　as　a　teenager　in　1944。　When　I　was
  inducted　into　the　army　in　1952；　I　was　tested　and　qualified　for　work　in　fourteen　different
  languages。　Since　then　I’ve　expanded　my　knowledge　of　those　languages　and　taken　up
  others。　Whether　fluently　or　fragmentally；　I　can　now　express　myself　in　twenty…five
  languages。
  That　may　sound　like　a　boast；　but　it’s　really　a　confession。　Having　spent　so　many
  years　with　no　other　hobby；　I　should　today　be　speaking　every　one　of　those　languages
  much　better　than　I　do。　If　you’re　a　beginner；　you　may　be　impressed　to　hear　me　order　a
  meal　in　Chinese　or　discuss　the　Tito…Stalin　split　in　Serbo…Croatian；　but　only　I　know　how
  much　time　and　effort　I　wasted　over　those　years　thinking　I　was　doing　the　right　thing　to
  increase　my　command　of　those　and　other　languages。
  This　book；　then；　does　not　represent　the　tried　and　true　formula　I’ve　been　using　since
  1944。　It　presents　the　tried　and　true　formula　I’d　use　if　I　could　go　back　to　1944　and　start　all
  over　again！
  Common　sense　tells　us　we　can’t　have　dessert　before　we　finish　the　meal；　we　can’t
  have　a　slim　figure　until　we　diet；　we　can’t　have　strong　muscles　until　we　exercise；　we
  won’t　have　a　fortune　until　we　make　it。　So　far　common　sense　is　right。
  Common　sense　also　tells　us；　however；　that　we　can’t　enjoy　communicating　in　a
  foreign　language　until　we　learn　it。　This　means　years　of　brain　benumbing　conjugations；
  declensions；　idioms；　exceptions；　subjunctives；　and　irregular　verbs。　And　here　common
  sense　is　wrong；　completely　wrong。　When　it　comes　to　learning　foreign　languages；　we　can
  start　with　the　dessert　and　then　use　its　sweetness　to　inspire　us　to　back　up　and　devour　the
  main　course。
  What　six　year　old　child　ever　heard　of　a　conjugation？　Wouldn’t　you　love　to　be　able
  to　converse　in　a　foreign　language　as　well　as　all　the　children　of　that　tongue　who’ve　not　yet
  heard　of　grammar？　No；　we’re　not　going　to　rise　up　as　one　throaty　revolutionary　mob；
  depose　grammar；　drag　it　out　of　the　palace　by　the　heels；　and　burn　it　in　the　main　square。
  We’re　just　going　to　put　grammar　in　its　place。　Up　to　now；　grammar　has　been　used　by　our
  language　educators　to　anesthetise　us　against　progress。　If　it’s　grammar　versus　fun；　we’re
  going　to　minimise　grammar　and　maximise　fun。　We’re　going　to　find　more　pleasant　ways
  to　absorb　grammar。
  Unfortunately；　there　are　a　lot　more　“self　improvement”　books　than　there　is　self
  improvement。　Too　many　books　whose　titles　are　heavy　with　promise　turn　out　to　be　all　hat
  and　no　cattle　–　not　enough　take　home　after　you　deduct　the　generalities　and　exhortations
  to　“focus”　and　“visualise”　your　goals。　Extracting　usable　advice　from　high　promising
  books　can　be　like　trying　to　nail　custard　pies　to　the　side　of　a　barn。
  Mindful　of　that　danger；　I　will　not　leave　you　with　nothing　but　a　pep　talk。　Follow　the
  steps　herein；　and　you　will　learn　the　language　of　your　choice　quickly；　easily；　inexpensively；
  enjoyably　and　on　your　own。
  And　you’ll　have　fun　en　route；　though　not　nearly　as　much　fun　as　you’ll　have　once
  you　get　that　language　in　working　order　and　take　it　out　to　the　firing　range　of　the　real
  world！
  The　System
  The　language　learning　system　detailed　in　this　book　is　the　result　of　my　own　continuous；
  laborious　trial　and　error　beginning　in　1944。　That　which　worked　was　kept；　that　which
  failed　was　dropped；　that　which　was　kept　was　improved。　Technology　undreamed　of　when
  I　started　studying　languages；　such　as　the　audiocasette　and　the　tape　player　small　enough　to
  carry　while　walking　or　jogging；　was　instantly　and　eagerly　incorporated。
  The　system　combines：
  。THE　MULTIPLE　TRACK　ATTACK：　Go　to　the　language　department　of　any　bookstore
  and　you’ll　see　language　books；　grammars；　hardcover　and　paperback　workbooks；
  readers；　dictionaries；　flash　cards；　and　handsomely　bound　courses　on　cassette。　Each
  one　of　those　products　sits　there　on　the　shelf　and　says；　“Hey；　Bud。　You　want　to
  learn　this　language？　Here　I　am。　Buy　me！”　I　say；　buy　them　all；　or　at　least　one　of
  each！　You　may　feel　like　you’re　taking　four　or　five　different　courses　in　the　same
  language　simultaneously。　That’s　good。　A　marvellous　synergistic　energy　sets　you
  soaring　when　all　those　tools　are　set　together　in　symphony。
  。HIDDEN　MOMENTS：　Dean　Martin　once　chided　a　chorus　girl；　who　was　apathetically
  sipping　her　cocktail；　by　saying；　“I　spill　more　than　you　drink！”　All　of　us　“spill”
  enough　minutes　every　day　to　learn　a　whole　new　language　a　year！　Just　as　the　Dutch
  steal　land　from　the　sea；　you　will　learn　to　steal　language　learning　time；　even　from　a
  life　that　seems　completely　filled　or　overflowing。　What　do　you　do；　for　example；
  while　you’re　waiting　for　an　elevator；　standing　in　line　at　the　bank；　waiting　for　the
  person　you’re　calling　to　answer　the　phone；　holding　the　line；　getting　gas；　waiting　to
  be　ushered　from　the　waiting　room　into　somebody’s　office；　waiting　for　your　date　to
  arrive；　waiting　for　anything　at　any　time？
  You　will　learn