第 103 节
作者:
散发弄舟 更新:2021-02-21 16:20 字数:9320
of God; else whence the light and loveliness and bloom; the smile
and the laugh of their youth? But Margaret not only walked in this
light: she knew it and whence it came。 She looked up to its source;
and it illuminated her face。
The silent girl of old days; whose countenance wore the stillness of
an unsunned pool; as she listened with reverence to his lessons; had
blossomed into the calm; stately woman; before whose presence he
felt rebuked he knew not why; upon whose face lay slumbering
thought; ever ready to wake into life and motion。 Dared he love
her? Dared he tell her that he loved her? Dared he; so poor; so
worthless; seek for himself such a world's treasure?He might have
known that worth does not need honour; that its lowliness is content
with ascribing it。
Some of my readers may be inclined to think that I hide; for the
sake of my heropoor little hero; one of God's children; learning
to walkan inevitable struggle between his love and his pride;
inasmuch as; being but a tutor; he might be expected to think the
more of his good family; and the possibility of his one day coming
to honour without the drawback of having done anything to merit it;
a title being almost within his grasp; while Margaret was a
ploughman's daughter; and a lady's maid。 But; although I know more
of Hugh's faults than I have thought it at all necessary to bring
out in my story; I protest that; had he been capable of giving the
name of love to a feeling in whose presence pride dared to speak; I
should have considered him unworthy of my poor pen。 In plain
language; I doubt if I should have cared to write his story at all。
He gathered together; as I have said; the few memorials of the old
ship gone down in the quiet ocean of time; paid one visit of
sorrowful gladness to his parent's grave; over which he raised no
futile stoneleaving it; like the forms within it; in the hands of
holy decay; and took his roadwhither? To Margaret's hometo see
old Janet; and to go once to the grave of his second father。 Then
he would return to the toil and hunger and hope of London。
What made Hugh go to Turriepuffit? His love to Margaret? No。 A
better motive even than that:Repentance。 Better I mean for Hugh
as to the individual occasion; not in itself; for love is deeper
than repentance; seeing that without love there can be no
repentance。 He had repented before; but now that he haunted in
silence the regions of the past; the whole of his history in
connection with David returned on him clear and vivid; as if passing
once again before his eyes and through his heart; and he repented
more deeply still。 Perhaps he was not quite so much to blame as he
thought himself。 Perhaps only now was it possible for the seeds of
truth; which David had sown in his heart; to show themselves above
the soil of lower; yet ministering cares。 They had needed to lie a
winter long in the earth。 Now the keen blasts and griding frosts
had done their work; and they began to grow in the tearful prime。
Sorrow for loss brought in her train sorrow for wronga sister
more solemn still; and with a deeper blessing in the voice of her
loving farewell。It is a great mistake to suppose that sorrow is a
part of repentance。 It is far too good a grace to come so easily。
A man may repent; that is; think better of it; and change his way;
and be very much of a PhariseeI do not say a hypocritefor a long
time after: it needs a saint to be sorrowful。 Yet repentance is
generally the road to this sorrow。And now that in the gracious
time of grief; his eyesight purified by tears; he entered one after
another all the chambers of the past; he humbly renewed once more
his friendship with the noble dead; and with the homely; heartful
living。 The grey…headed man who walked with God like a child; and
with his fellow…men like an elder brother who was always forgetting
his birthright and serving the younger; the woman who believed where
she could not see; and loved where she could not understand; and the
maiden who was still and lustreless; because she ever absorbed and
seldom reflected the lightall came to him; as if to comfort him
once more in his loneliness; when his heart had room for them; and
need of them yet again。 David now became; after his departure; yet
more of a father to him than before; for that spirit; which is the
true soul of all this body of things; had begun to recall to his
mind the words of David; and so teach him the things that David
knew; the everlasting realities of God。 And it seemed to him the
while; that he heard David himself uttering; in his homely; kingly
voice; whatever truth returned to him from the echo…cave of the
past。 Even when a quite new thought arose within him; it came to
him in the voice of David; or at least with the solemn music of his
tones clinging about it as the murmur about the river's course。
Experience had now brought him up to the point where he could begin
to profit by David's communion; he needed the things which David
could teach him; and David began forthwith to give them to him。
That birth of nature in his soul; which enabled him to understand
and love Margaret; helped him likewise to contemplate with
admiration and awe; the towering peaks of David's hopes; trusts; and
aspirations。 He had taught the ploughman mathematics; but that
ploughman had possessed in himself all the essential elements of the
grandeur of the old prophets; glorified by the faith which the Son
of Man did not find in the earth; but left behind him to grow in it;
and which had grown to a noble growth of beauty and strength in this
peasant; simple and patriarchal in the midst of a self…conceited
age。 And; oh! how good he had been to him! He had built a house
that he might take him in from the cold; and make life pleasant to
him; as in the presence of God。 He had given him his heart every
time he gave him his great manly hand。 And this man; this friend;
this presence of Christ; Hugh had forsaken; neglected; all but
forgotten。 He could not go; and; like the prodigal; fall down
before him; and say; 〃Father; I have sinned against heaven and
thee;〃 for that heaven had taken him up out of his sight。 He could
only weep instead; and bitterly repent。 Yes; there was one thing
more he could do。 Janet still lived。 He would go to her; and
confess his sin; and beg her forgiveness。 Receiving it; he would be
at peace。 He knew David forgave him; whether he confessed or not;
and that; if he were alive; David would seek his confession only as
the casting away of the separation from his heart; as the banishment
of the worldly spirit; and as the natural sign by which he might
know that Hugh was one with him yet。
Janet was David's representative on earth: he would go to her。
So he returned; rich and great; rich in knowing that he was the
child of Him to whom all the gold mines belong; and great in that
humility which alone recognizes greatness; and in the beginnings of
that meekness which shall inherit the earth。 No more would he stunt
his spiritual growth by self…satisfaction。 No more would he lay
aside; in the cellars of his mind; poor withered bulbs of opinions;
which; but for the evil ministrations of that self…satisfaction;
seeking to preserve them by drying and salting; might have been
already bursting into blossoms of truth; of infinite loveliness。
He knew that Margaret thought far too well of himhonoured him
greatly beyond his deserts。 He would not allow her to be any longer
thus deceived。 He would tell her what a poor creature he was。 But
he would say; too; that he hoped one day to be worthy of her praise;
that he hoped to grow to what she thought him。 If he should fail in
convincing her; he would receive all the honour she gave him humbly;
as paid; not to him; but to what he ought to be。 God grant it might
be as to his future self!
In this mood he went to Janet。
CHAPTER XXIV。
THE FIR…WOOD AGAIN。
Er stand vor der himmlischen Jungfrau。 Da hob er den leichten;
gl鋘zenden Schleir; undRosenbl黷hchen sank in seine
Arme。Novalis。Die Lehrlinge zu Sais。
He stood before the heavenly Virgin (Isis; the Goddess of Nature)。
Then lifted he the light; shining veil; andRosebud (his old love)
sank into his arms。
So womanly; so benigne; and so meek。
CHAUCER。Prol。 to Leg。 of Good Women。
It was with a mingling of strange emotions; that Hugh approached the
scene of those not very old; and yet; to his feeling; quite early
memories。 The dusk was beginning to gather。 The hoar…frost lay
thick on the ground。 The pine…trees stood up in the cold; looking;
in their garment of spikes; as if the frost had made them。 The rime
on the gate was unfriendly; and chilled his hand。 He turned into
the footpath。 He say the room David had built for him。 Its thatch
was one mass of mosses; whose colours were hidden now in the
cuckoo…fruit of the frost。 Alas! how Death had cast his deeper
frost over all; for the man was gone from the hearth! But neither
old Winter nor skeleton Death can withhold the feet of the little
child Spring。 She is stronger than both。 Love shall conquer hate;
and God will overcome sin。
He drew night to the door; trembli