第 88 节
作者:散发弄舟      更新:2021-02-21 16:20      字数:9322
  〃What is it to you?  Do you think I am going to make a confidante of
  you?〃
  Margaret again left the room。  Notwithstanding that she had made no
  answer to her insult; Euphra felt satisfied that her letter was safe
  from profanation。
  No sooner was Margaret out of sight; than; with the reaction common
  to violent tempers; which in this case resulted the sooner; from the
  exhaustion produced in a worn frame by the violence of the outburst;
  Euphra sat down; in a hopeless; unresting way; upon the chair from
  which she had just risen; and began weeping more bitterly than
  before。  She was not only exhausted; but ashamed; and to these
  feelings was added a far greater sense of disappointment than she
  could have believed possible; at the frustration of the hope of help
  from David Elginbrod。  True; this hope had been small; but where
  there is only one hope; its death is equally bitter; whether it be a
  great or a little hope。  And there is often no power of reaction; in
  a mind which has been gradually reduced to one little faint hope;
  when that hope goes out in darkness。  There is a recoil which is
  very helpful; from the blow that kills a great hope。
  All this time Harry had been looking on; in a kind of paralysed
  condition; pale with perplexity and distress。  He now came up to
  Euphra; and; trying to pull her hand gently from her face; said:
  〃What is it all about; Euphra; dear?〃
  〃Oh!  I have been very naughty; Harry。〃
  〃But what is it all about?  May I read the letter?〃
  〃If you like;〃 answered Euphra; listlessly。
  Harry read the letter with quivering features。  Then; laying it down
  on the table with a reverential slowness; went to Euphra; put his
  arms round her and kissed her。
  〃Dear; dear Euphra; I did not know you were so unhappy。  I will find
  God for you。  But first I willwhat shall I do to the bad man?  Who
  is it?  I will〃
  Harry finished the sentence by setting his teeth hard。
  〃Oh! you can't do anything for me; Harry; dear。  Only mind you don't
  say anything about it to any one。  Put the letter in the fire there
  for me。〃
  〃Nothat I won't;〃 said Harry; taking up the letter; and holding it
  tight。 〃It is a beautiful letter; and it does me good。  Don't you
  think; though it is not sent to God himself; he may read it; and
  take it for a prayer?〃
  〃I wish he would; Harry。〃
  〃But it was very wrong of you; Euphra; dear; to speak as you did to
  the daughter of such a good man。〃
  〃Yes; it was。〃
  〃But then; you see; you got angry before you knew who she was。〃
  〃But I shouldn't have got angry before I knew all about it〃
  〃Well; you have only to say you are sorry; and Margaret won't think
  anything more about it。  Oh; she is so good!〃
  Euphra recoiled from making confession of wrong to a lady's maid;
  and; perhaps; she was a little jealous of Harry's admiration of
  Margaret。  For Euphra had not yet cast off all her old habits of
  mind; and one of them was the desire to be first with every one whom
  she cared for。  She had got rid of a worse; which was; a necessity
  of being first in every company; whether she cared for the persons
  composing it; or not。  Mental suffering had driven the latter far
  enough from her; though it would return worse than ever; if her mind
  were not filled with truth in the place of ambition。  So she did not
  respond to what Harry said。  Indeed; she did not speak again; except
  to beg him to leave her alone。  She did not make her appearance
  again that day。
  But at night; when the household was retiring; she rose from the bed
  on which she had been lying half…unconscious; and going to the door;
  opened it a little way; that she might hear when Margaret should
  pass from Mrs。 Elton's room towards her own。  She waited for some
  time; but judging; at length; that she must have passed without her
  knowledge; she went and knocked at her door。  Margaret opened it a
  little; after a moment's delay; half…undressed。
  〃May I come in; Margaret?〃
  〃Pray; do; Miss Cameron;〃 answered Margaret。
  And she opened the door quite。  Her cap was off; and her rich dark
  hair fell on her shoulders; and streamed thence to her waist。  Her
  under…clothing was white as snow。
  〃What a lovely skin she has!〃 thought Euphra; comparing it with her
  own tawny complexion。  She felt; for the first time; that Margaret
  was beautifulyes; more: that whatever her gown might be; her form
  and her skin (give me a prettier word; kind reader; for a beautiful
  fact; and I will gladly use it) were those of one of nature's
  ladies。  She was soon to find that her intellect and spirit were
  those of one of God's ladies。
  〃I am very sorry; Margaret; that I spoke to you as I did today。〃
  〃Never mind it; Miss Cameron。  We cannot help being angry sometimes。
  And you had great provocation under the mistake you made。  I was
  only sorry because I knew it would trouble you afterwards。  Please
  don't think of it again。〃
  〃You are very kind; Margaret。〃
  〃I regretted my father's death; for the first time; after reading
  your letter; for I knew he could have helped you。  But it was very
  foolish of me; for God is not dead。〃
  Margaret smiled as she said this; looking full in Euphra's eyes。  It
  was a smile of meaning unfathomable; and it quite overcame Euphra。
  She had never liked Margaret before; for; from not very obscure
  psychological causes; she had never felt comfortable in her
  presence; especially after she had encountered the nun in the
  Ghost's Walk; though she had had no suspicion that the nun was
  Margaret。  A great many of our dislikes; both to persons and things;
  arise from a feeling of discomfort associated with them; perhaps
  only accidentally present in our minds the first time we met them。
  But this vanished entirely now。
  〃Do you; then; know God too; Margaret?〃
  〃Yes;〃 answered Margaret; simply and solemnly。
  〃Will you tell me about him?〃
  〃I can at least tell you about my father; and what he taught me。〃
  〃Oh! thank you; thank you!  Do tell me about himnow。〃
  〃Not now; dear Miss Cameron。  It is late; and you are too unwell to
  stay up longer。  Let me help you to bed to…night。  I will be your
  maid。〃
  As she spoke; Margaret proceeded to put on her dress again; that she
  might go with Euphra; who had no attendant。  She had parted with
  Jane; and did not care; in her present mood; to have a woman about
  her; especially a new one。
  〃No; Margaret。  You have enough to do without adding me to your
  troubles。〃
  〃Please; do let me; Miss Cameron。  It will be a great pleasure to
  me。  I have hardly anything to call work。  You should see how I used
  to work when I was at home。〃
  Euphra still objected; but Margaret's entreaty prevailed。  She
  followed Euphra to her room。  There she served her like a
  ministering angel; brushed her hairoh; so gently! smoothing it out
  as if she loved it。  There was health in the touch of her hands;
  because there was love。  She undressed her; covered her in bed as if
  she had been a child; made up the fire to last as long as possible;
  bade her good night; and was leaving the room; when Euphra called
  her。  Margaret returned to the bed…side。
  〃Kiss me; Margaret;〃 she said。
  Margaret stooped; kissed her forehead and her lips; and left her。
  Euphra cried herself to sleep。  They were the first tears she had
  ever shed that were not painful tears。  She slept as she had not
  slept for months。
  In order to understand this change in Euphrasia's behaviour to
  Margaretin order; in fact; to represent it to our minds as at all
  crediblewe must remember that she had been trying to do right for
  some time; that Margaret; as the daughter of David; seemed the only
  attainable source of the knowledge she sought; that long illness had
  greatly weakened her obstinacy; that her soul hungered; without
  knowing it; for love; and that she was naturally gifted with a
  strong will; the position in which she stood in relation to the
  count proving only that it was not strong enough; and not that it
  was weak。  Such a character must; for any good; be ruled by itself;
  and not by circumstances。  To have been overcome in the process of
  time by the persistent goodness of Margaret; might have been the
  blessed fate of a weaker and worse woman; but if Euphra did not
  overcome herself; there was no hope of further victory。  If Margaret
  could even wither the power of her oppressor; it would be but to
  transfer the lordship from a bad man to a good woman; and that would
  not be enough。  It would not be freedom。  And indeed; the aid that
  Margaret had to give her; could only be bestowed on one who already
  had freedom enough to act in some degree from duty。  She knew she
  ought to go and apologize to Margaret。  She went。
  In Margaret's presence; and in such a mood; she was subjected at
  once to the holy enchantment of her loving…kindness。  She had never
  received any tenderness from a woman before。  Perhaps she had never
  been in the right mood to profit by it if she had。  Nor had she ever
  before seen what Margaret was。  It was only when servicedivine
  serviceflowed from her in full outgoing; that she reached the
  height of her loveliness。  Then her whole form was beautiful。  So
  was it interpenetrated by; and respondent to; the uprising soul
  within; that it radiated thoug