第 83 节
作者:散发弄舟      更新:2021-02-21 16:20      字数:9322
  that was involved by the story。
  〃Now;〃 said Falconer; 〃I have material out of which to construct a
  theory。  The count is at present like a law of nature concerning
  which a prudent question is the first half of the answer; as Lord
  Bacon says; and you can put no question without having first formed
  a theory; however slight or temporary; for otherwise no question
  will suggest itself。  But; in the meantime; as I said before; I will
  make inquiry upon the theory that he is somewhere in London;
  although I doubt it。〃
  〃Then I will not occupy your time any longer at present;〃 said Hugh。
  〃Could you say; without fettering yourself in the least; when I
  might be able to see you again?〃
  〃Let me see。  I will make an appointment with you。Next Sunday;
  here; at ten o'clock in the morning。  Make a note of it。〃
  〃There is no fear of my forgetting it。  My consolations are not so
  numerous that I can afford to forget my sole pleasure。  You; I
  should think; have more need to make a note of it than I; though I
  am quite willing to be forgotten; if necessary。〃
  〃I never forget my engagements;〃 said Falconer。
  They parted; and Hugh went home to his novel。
  CHAPTER XI。
  QUESTIONS AND DREAMS。
  On a certain time the Lady St。 Mary had commanded the Lord Jesus to
  fetch her some water out of the well。  And when he had gone to fetch
  the water; the pitcher; when it was brought up full; brake。  But
  Jesus; spreading his mantle; gathered up the water again; and
  brought it in that to his mother。The First (apocryphal) Gospel of
  the INFANCY of JESUS CHRIST。
  Mrs。 Elton read prayers morning and evening;very elaborate
  compositions; which would have instructed the apostles themselves in
  many things they had never anticipated。  But; unfortunately; Mrs。
  Elton must likewise read certain remarks; in the form of a homily;
  intended to impress the scripture which preceded it upon the minds
  of the listeners。  Between the mortar of the homilist's faith; and
  the dull blows of the pestle of his arrogance; the fair form of
  truth was ground into the powder of pious small talk。  This result
  was not pleasant either to Harry or to Euphra。  Euphra; with her
  life threatening to go to ruin about her; was crying out for him who
  made the soul of man; 〃who loved us into being;〃2 and who alone can
  renew the life of his children; and in such words as those a
  scoffing demon seemed to mock at her needs。  Harry had the natural
  dislike of all childlike natures to everything formal; exclusive;
  and unjust。  But; having received nothing of what is commonly called
  a religious training; this advantage resulted from his new
  experiences in Mrs。 Elton's family; that a good direction was given
  to his thoughts by the dislike which he felt to such utterances。
  More than this: a horror fell upon him lest these things should be
  true; lest the mighty All of nature should be only a mechanism;
  without expression and without beauty; lest the God who made us
  should be like us only in this; that he too was selfish and mean and
  proud; lest his ideas should resemble those that inhabit the brain
  of a retired money…maker; or of an arbitrary monarch claiming a
  divine rightinstead of towering as the heavens over the earth;
  above the loftiest moods of highest poet; most generous child; or
  most devoted mother。  I do not mean that these thoughts took these
  shapes in Harry's mind; but that his feelings were such as might
  have been condensed into such thoughts; had his intellect been more
  mature。
  One morning; the passage of scripture which Mrs。 Elton read was the
  story of the young man who came to Jesus; and went away sorrowful;
  because the Lord thought so well of him; and loved him so heartily;
  that he wanted to set him free from his riches。  A great portion of
  the homily was occupied with proving that the evangelist could not
  possibly mean that Jesus loved the young man in any pregnant sense
  of the word; but merely meant that Jesus 〃felt kindly disposed
  towards him〃felt a poor little human interest in him; in fact; and
  did not love him divinely at all。
  Harry's face was in a flame all the time she was reading。  When the
  service was overand a bond service it was for Euphra and himthey
  left the room together。  As soon as the door was shut; he burst out:
  〃I say; Euphra!  Wasn't that a shame?  They would have Jesus as bad
  as themselves。  We shall have somebody writing a book next to prove
  that after all Jesus was a Pharisee。〃
  〃Never mind;〃 said the heart…sore; sceptical Euphra; 〃never mind;
  Harry; it's all nonsense。〃
  〃No; it's not all nonsense。  Jesus did love the young man。  I
  believe the story itself before all the Doctors of Divinity in the
  world。  He loves all of us; he doeswith all his heart; too。〃
  〃I hope so;〃 was all she could reply; but she was comforted by
  Harry's vehement confession of faith。
  Euphra was so far softened; or perhaps weakened; by suffering; that
  she yielded many things which would have seemed impossible before。
  One of these was that she went to church with Mrs。 Elton; where
  that lady hoped she would get good to her soul。  Harry of course was
  not left behind。  The church she frequented was a fashionable one;
  with a vicar more fashionable still; for had he left that church;
  more than half his congregation; which consisted mostly of ladies;
  would have left it also; and followed him to the ends of London。  He
  was a middle…aged man; with a rubicund countenance; and a gentle
  familiarity of manner; that was exceedingly pleasing to the
  fashionable sheep who; conscious that they had wandered from the
  fold; were waiting with exemplary patience for the barouches and
  mail…phaetons of the skies to carry them back without the trouble of
  walking。  Alas for them! they have to learn that the chariots of
  heaven are chariots of fire。
  The Sunday morning following the conversation I have just recorded;
  the clergyman's sermon was devoted to the illustration of the
  greatness and condescension of the Saviour。  After a certain amount
  of tame excitement expended upon the consideration of his power and
  kingdom; one passage was wound up in this fashion:
  〃Yes; my friends; even her most gracious Majesty; Queen Victoria;
  the ruler over millions diverse in speech and in hue; to whom we all
  look up with humble submission; and whom we acknowledge as our
  sovereign ladyeven she; great as she is; adds by her homage a
  jewel to his crown; and; hailing him as her Lord; bows and renders
  him worship!  Yet this is he who comes down to visit; yea; dwells
  with his own elect; his chosen ones; whom he has led back to the
  fold of his grace。〃
  For some reason; known to himself; Falconer had taken Hugh; who had
  gone to him according to appointment that morning; to this same
  church。  As they came out; Hugh said:
  〃Mr。…is quite proud of the honour done his master by the queen。〃
  〃I do not think;〃 answered Falconer; 〃that his master will think so
  much of it; for he once had his feet washed by a woman that was a
  sinner。〃
  The homily which Mrs。 Elton read at prayers that evening; bore upon
  the same subject nominally as the chapter that preceded itthat of
  election; a doctrine which in the Bible asserts the fact of God's
  choosing certain persons for the specific purpose of receiving
  first; and so communicating the gifts of his grace to the whole
  world; but which; in the homily referred to; was taken to mean the
  choice of certain persons for ultimate salvation; to the exclusion
  of the rest。  They were sitting in silence after the close; when
  Harry started up suddenly; saying: 〃I don't want God to love me; if
  he does not love everybody;〃 and; bursting into tears; hurried out
  of the room。  Mrs。 Elton was awfully shocked at his wickedness。
  Euphra; hastened after him; but he would not return; and went
  supperless to bed。  Euphra; however; carried him some supper。  He
  sat up in bed and ate it with the tears in his eyes。  She kissed
  him; and bade him good night; when; just as she was leaving the
  room; he broke out with:
  〃But only think; Euphra; if it should be true!  I would rather not
  have been made。〃
  〃It is not true;〃 said Euphra; in whom a faint glimmer of faith in
  God awoke for the sake of the boy whom she lovedawoke to comfort
  him; when it would not open its eyes for herself。 〃No; Harry dear;
  if there is a God at all; he is not like that。〃
  〃No; he can't be;〃 said Harry; vehemently; and with the brightness
  of a sudden thought; 〃for if he were like that; he wouldn't be a God
  worth being; and that couldn't be; you know。〃
  Euphra knelt by her bedside; and prayed more hopefully than for many
  days before。  She prayed that God would let her know that he was not
  an idol of man's invention。
  Till friendly sleep came; and untied the knot of care; both Euphra
  and Harry lay troubled with things too great for them。  Even in
  their sleep; the care would gather again; and body itself into
  dreams。  The first thought that visited Harry when he awoke; was the
  memory of his dream: that he died and went to heaven; that heaven
  was a great church just like the one Mrs。 Elton went to; only
  larger; that the pews were filled with angels; so crowded together
  that they had to tuck up their wings very close ind