第 68 节
作者:散发弄舟      更新:2021-02-21 16:20      字数:9322
  always fell before hers。  She walked softly like Ahab; as if; now
  that Hugh knew; she; too; was ever conscious。
  Her behaviour to Mrs。 Elton and Lady Emily was likewise improved;
  but apparently only from an increase of indifference。  When the time
  came; and they departed; she did not even appear to be much
  relieved。
  Once she asked Hugh to help her with a passage of Dante; but
  betrayed no memory of the past。  His pleased haste to assist her;
  showed that he at least; if fancy…free; was not memory…clear。  She
  thanked him very gently and truly; took up her book like a
  school…girl; and limped away。  Hugh was smitten to the heart。 〃If I
  could but do something for her!〃 thought he; but there was nothing
  to be done。  Although she had deserved it; somehow her behaviour
  made him feel as if he had wronged her in ceasing to love her。
  One day; in the end of September; Mr。 Arnold and Hugh were alone
  after breakfast。  Mr。 Arnold spoke:
  〃Mr。 Sutherland; I have altered my plans with regard to Harry。  I
  wish him to spend the winter in London。〃
  Hugh listened and waited。  Mr。 Arnold went on; after a slight pause:
  〃There I wish him to reap such advantages as are to be gained in the
  metropolis。  He has improved wonderfully under your instruction; and
  is now; I think; to be benefited principally by a variety of
  teachers。  I therefore intend that he shall have masters for the
  different branches which it is desirable he should study。
  Consequently I shall be compelled to deny him your services;
  valuable as they have hitherto been。〃
  〃Very well; Mr。 Arnold;〃 said Mr。 Sutherland; with the indifference
  of one who feels himself ill…used。 〃When shall I take my leave of
  him?〃
  〃Not before the middle of the next month; at the earliest。  But I
  will write you a cheque for your salary at once。〃
  So saying; Mr。 Arnold left the room for a moment; and returning;
  handed Hugh a cheque for a year's salary。  Hugh glanced at it; and
  offering it again to Mr。 Arnold; said:
  〃No; Mr。 Arnold; I can claim scarcely more than half a year's
  salary。〃
  〃Mr。 Sutherland; your engagement was at so much a year; and if I
  prevent you from fulfilling your part of it; I am bound to fulfil
  mine。  Indeed; you might claim further provision。〃
  〃You are very kind; Mr。 Arnold。〃
  〃Only just;〃 rejoined Mr。 Arnold; with conscious dignity。 〃I am
  under great obligation to you for the way in which you have devoted
  yourself to Harry。〃
  Hugh's conscience gave him a pang。  Is anything more painful than
  undeserved praise?
  〃I have hardly done my duty by him;〃 said he。
  〃I can only say that the boy is wonderfully altered for the better;
  and I thank you。  I am obliged to you: oblige me by putting the
  cheque in your pocket。〃
  Hugh persisted no longer in his refusal; and indeed it had been far
  more a feeling of pride than of justice that made him decline
  accepting it at first。  Nor was there any generosity in Mr。 Arnold's
  cheque; for Hugh; as he admitted; might have claimed board and
  lodging as well。  But Mr。 Arnold was one of the ordinarily
  honourable; who; with perfect characters for uprightness; always
  contrive to err on the safe side of the purse; and the doubtful side
  of a severely interpreted obligation。  Such people; in so doing; not
  unfrequently secure for themselves; at the same time; the reputation
  of generosity。
  Hugh could not doubt that his dismissal was somehow or other
  connected with the loss of the ring; but he would not stoop to
  inquire into the matter。  He hoped that time would set all right;
  and; in fact; felt considerable indifference to the opinion of Mr。
  Arnold; or of any one in the house; except Harry。
  The boy burst into tears when informed of his father's decision with
  regard to his winter studies; and could only be consoled by the hope
  which Hugh held out to himcertainly upon a very slight
  foundationthat they might meet sometimes in London。  For the
  little time that remained; Hugh devoted himself unceasingly to his
  pupil; not merely studying with him; but walking; riding; reading
  stories; and going through all sorts of exercises for the
  strengthening of his person and constitution。  The best results
  followed both for Harry and his tutor。
  CHAPTER XXXI。
  EXPLANATIONS。
  I have done nothing good to win belief;
  My life hath been so faithless; all the creatures
  Made for heaven's honours; have their ends; and good ones;
  All but。。。false women。。。When they die; like tales
  Ill…told; and unbelieved; they pass away。
  I will redeem one minute of my age;
  Or; like another Niobe; I'll weep
  Till I am water。
  BEAUMONT AND FLETCHER。The Maid's Tragedy。
  The days passed quickly by; and the last evening that Hugh was to
  spend at Arnstead arrived。  He wandered out alone。  He had been with
  Harry all day; and now he wished for a few moments of solitude。  It
  was a lovely autumn evening。  He went into the woods behind the
  house。  The leaves were still thick upon the trees; but most of them
  had changed to gold; and brown; and red; and the sweet faint odours
  of those that had fallen; and lay thick underfoot; ascended like a
  voice from the grave; saying: 〃Here dwelleth some sadness; but no
  despair。〃  As he strolled about among them; the whole history of his
  past life arose before him。  This often happens before any change in
  our history; and is surest to take place at the approach of the
  greatest change of all; when we are about to pass into the unknown;
  whence we came。
  In this mood; it was natural that his sins should rise before him。
  They came as the shadows of his best pleasures。  For now; in
  looking back; he could fix on no period of his history; around which
  the aureole; which glorifies the sacred things of the past; had
  gathered in so golden a hue; as around the memory of the holy
  cottage; the temple in which abode David; and Janet; and Margaret。
  All the story glided past; as the necromantic Will called up the
  sleeping dead in the mausoleum of the brain。  And that solemn;
  kingly; gracious old man; who had been to him a father; he had
  forgotten; the homely tenderness which; from fear of its own force;
  concealed itself behind a humorous roughness of manner; he hadno;
  not despisedbut forgotten; too; and if the dim pearly loveliness
  of the trustful; grateful maiden had not been quite forgotten; yet
  she too had been neglected; had died; as it were; and been buried in
  the churchyard of the past; where the grass grows long over the
  graves; and the moss soon begins to fill up the chiselled records。
  He was ungrateful。  He dared not allow to himself that he was
  unloving; but he must confess himself ungrateful。
  Musing sorrowfully and self…reproachfully; he came to the Ghost's
  Avenue。  Up and down its aisle he walked; a fit place for
  remembering the past; and the sins of the present。  Yielding himself
  to what thoughts might arise; the strange sight he had seen here on
  that moonlit night; of two silent wandering figuresor could it be
  that they were one and the same; suddenly changed in hue?returned
  upon him。  This vision had been so speedily followed by the second
  and more alarming apparition of Lady Euphrasia; that he had hardly
  had time to speculate on what the former could have been。  He was
  meditating upon all these strange events; and remarking to himself
  that; since his midnight encounter with Lady Euphrasia; the house
  had been as quiet as a church…yard at noon; when all suddenly; he
  saw before him; at some little distance; a dark figure approaching
  him。  His heart seemed to bound into his throat and choke him; as he
  said to himself: 〃It is the nun again!〃  But the next moment he saw
  that it was Euphra。  I do not know which he would have preferred not
  meeting alone; and in the deepening twilight: Euphra; too; had
  become like a ghost to him。  His first impulse was to turn aside
  into the wood; but she had seen him; and was evidently going to
  address him。  He therefore advanced to meet her。  She spoke first;
  approaching him with painful steps。
  〃I have been looking for you; Mr。 Sutherland。  I wanted very much to
  have a little conversation with you before you go。  Will you allow
  me?〃
  Hugh felt like a culprit directly。  Euphra's manner was quite
  collected and kind; yet through it all a consciousness showed
  itself; that the relation which had once existed between them had
  passed away for ever。  In her voice there was something like the
  tone of wind blowing through a ruin。
  〃I shall be most happy;〃 said he。
  She smiled sadly。  A great change had passed upon her。
  〃I am going to be quite open with you;〃 she said。 〃I am perfectly
  aware; as well as you are; that the boyish fancy you had for me is
  gone。  Do not be offended。  You are manly enough; but your love for
  me was boyish。  Most first loves are childish; quite irrespective of
  age。  I do not blame you in the least。〃
  This seemed to Hugh rather a strange style to assume; if all was
  true that his own eyes had reported。  She went on:
  〃Nor must you think it has cost me much to lose it。〃
  Hugh felt hurt; at which no one who understands will be surprised。
  〃But I cannot afford to lose you; the only friend I have;〃 she
  added。
  Hugh turned towards her with a face full of manhood a