第 68 节
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散发弄舟 更新:2021-02-21 16:20 字数:9322
always fell before hers。 She walked softly like Ahab; as if; now
that Hugh knew; she; too; was ever conscious。
Her behaviour to Mrs。 Elton and Lady Emily was likewise improved;
but apparently only from an increase of indifference。 When the time
came; and they departed; she did not even appear to be much
relieved。
Once she asked Hugh to help her with a passage of Dante; but
betrayed no memory of the past。 His pleased haste to assist her;
showed that he at least; if fancy…free; was not memory…clear。 She
thanked him very gently and truly; took up her book like a
school…girl; and limped away。 Hugh was smitten to the heart。 〃If I
could but do something for her!〃 thought he; but there was nothing
to be done。 Although she had deserved it; somehow her behaviour
made him feel as if he had wronged her in ceasing to love her。
One day; in the end of September; Mr。 Arnold and Hugh were alone
after breakfast。 Mr。 Arnold spoke:
〃Mr。 Sutherland; I have altered my plans with regard to Harry。 I
wish him to spend the winter in London。〃
Hugh listened and waited。 Mr。 Arnold went on; after a slight pause:
〃There I wish him to reap such advantages as are to be gained in the
metropolis。 He has improved wonderfully under your instruction; and
is now; I think; to be benefited principally by a variety of
teachers。 I therefore intend that he shall have masters for the
different branches which it is desirable he should study。
Consequently I shall be compelled to deny him your services;
valuable as they have hitherto been。〃
〃Very well; Mr。 Arnold;〃 said Mr。 Sutherland; with the indifference
of one who feels himself ill…used。 〃When shall I take my leave of
him?〃
〃Not before the middle of the next month; at the earliest。 But I
will write you a cheque for your salary at once。〃
So saying; Mr。 Arnold left the room for a moment; and returning;
handed Hugh a cheque for a year's salary。 Hugh glanced at it; and
offering it again to Mr。 Arnold; said:
〃No; Mr。 Arnold; I can claim scarcely more than half a year's
salary。〃
〃Mr。 Sutherland; your engagement was at so much a year; and if I
prevent you from fulfilling your part of it; I am bound to fulfil
mine。 Indeed; you might claim further provision。〃
〃You are very kind; Mr。 Arnold。〃
〃Only just;〃 rejoined Mr。 Arnold; with conscious dignity。 〃I am
under great obligation to you for the way in which you have devoted
yourself to Harry。〃
Hugh's conscience gave him a pang。 Is anything more painful than
undeserved praise?
〃I have hardly done my duty by him;〃 said he。
〃I can only say that the boy is wonderfully altered for the better;
and I thank you。 I am obliged to you: oblige me by putting the
cheque in your pocket。〃
Hugh persisted no longer in his refusal; and indeed it had been far
more a feeling of pride than of justice that made him decline
accepting it at first。 Nor was there any generosity in Mr。 Arnold's
cheque; for Hugh; as he admitted; might have claimed board and
lodging as well。 But Mr。 Arnold was one of the ordinarily
honourable; who; with perfect characters for uprightness; always
contrive to err on the safe side of the purse; and the doubtful side
of a severely interpreted obligation。 Such people; in so doing; not
unfrequently secure for themselves; at the same time; the reputation
of generosity。
Hugh could not doubt that his dismissal was somehow or other
connected with the loss of the ring; but he would not stoop to
inquire into the matter。 He hoped that time would set all right;
and; in fact; felt considerable indifference to the opinion of Mr。
Arnold; or of any one in the house; except Harry。
The boy burst into tears when informed of his father's decision with
regard to his winter studies; and could only be consoled by the hope
which Hugh held out to himcertainly upon a very slight
foundationthat they might meet sometimes in London。 For the
little time that remained; Hugh devoted himself unceasingly to his
pupil; not merely studying with him; but walking; riding; reading
stories; and going through all sorts of exercises for the
strengthening of his person and constitution。 The best results
followed both for Harry and his tutor。
CHAPTER XXXI。
EXPLANATIONS。
I have done nothing good to win belief;
My life hath been so faithless; all the creatures
Made for heaven's honours; have their ends; and good ones;
All but。。。false women。。。When they die; like tales
Ill…told; and unbelieved; they pass away。
I will redeem one minute of my age;
Or; like another Niobe; I'll weep
Till I am water。
BEAUMONT AND FLETCHER。The Maid's Tragedy。
The days passed quickly by; and the last evening that Hugh was to
spend at Arnstead arrived。 He wandered out alone。 He had been with
Harry all day; and now he wished for a few moments of solitude。 It
was a lovely autumn evening。 He went into the woods behind the
house。 The leaves were still thick upon the trees; but most of them
had changed to gold; and brown; and red; and the sweet faint odours
of those that had fallen; and lay thick underfoot; ascended like a
voice from the grave; saying: 〃Here dwelleth some sadness; but no
despair。〃 As he strolled about among them; the whole history of his
past life arose before him。 This often happens before any change in
our history; and is surest to take place at the approach of the
greatest change of all; when we are about to pass into the unknown;
whence we came。
In this mood; it was natural that his sins should rise before him。
They came as the shadows of his best pleasures。 For now; in
looking back; he could fix on no period of his history; around which
the aureole; which glorifies the sacred things of the past; had
gathered in so golden a hue; as around the memory of the holy
cottage; the temple in which abode David; and Janet; and Margaret。
All the story glided past; as the necromantic Will called up the
sleeping dead in the mausoleum of the brain。 And that solemn;
kingly; gracious old man; who had been to him a father; he had
forgotten; the homely tenderness which; from fear of its own force;
concealed itself behind a humorous roughness of manner; he hadno;
not despisedbut forgotten; too; and if the dim pearly loveliness
of the trustful; grateful maiden had not been quite forgotten; yet
she too had been neglected; had died; as it were; and been buried in
the churchyard of the past; where the grass grows long over the
graves; and the moss soon begins to fill up the chiselled records。
He was ungrateful。 He dared not allow to himself that he was
unloving; but he must confess himself ungrateful。
Musing sorrowfully and self…reproachfully; he came to the Ghost's
Avenue。 Up and down its aisle he walked; a fit place for
remembering the past; and the sins of the present。 Yielding himself
to what thoughts might arise; the strange sight he had seen here on
that moonlit night; of two silent wandering figuresor could it be
that they were one and the same; suddenly changed in hue?returned
upon him。 This vision had been so speedily followed by the second
and more alarming apparition of Lady Euphrasia; that he had hardly
had time to speculate on what the former could have been。 He was
meditating upon all these strange events; and remarking to himself
that; since his midnight encounter with Lady Euphrasia; the house
had been as quiet as a church…yard at noon; when all suddenly; he
saw before him; at some little distance; a dark figure approaching
him。 His heart seemed to bound into his throat and choke him; as he
said to himself: 〃It is the nun again!〃 But the next moment he saw
that it was Euphra。 I do not know which he would have preferred not
meeting alone; and in the deepening twilight: Euphra; too; had
become like a ghost to him。 His first impulse was to turn aside
into the wood; but she had seen him; and was evidently going to
address him。 He therefore advanced to meet her。 She spoke first;
approaching him with painful steps。
〃I have been looking for you; Mr。 Sutherland。 I wanted very much to
have a little conversation with you before you go。 Will you allow
me?〃
Hugh felt like a culprit directly。 Euphra's manner was quite
collected and kind; yet through it all a consciousness showed
itself; that the relation which had once existed between them had
passed away for ever。 In her voice there was something like the
tone of wind blowing through a ruin。
〃I shall be most happy;〃 said he。
She smiled sadly。 A great change had passed upon her。
〃I am going to be quite open with you;〃 she said。 〃I am perfectly
aware; as well as you are; that the boyish fancy you had for me is
gone。 Do not be offended。 You are manly enough; but your love for
me was boyish。 Most first loves are childish; quite irrespective of
age。 I do not blame you in the least。〃
This seemed to Hugh rather a strange style to assume; if all was
true that his own eyes had reported。 She went on:
〃Nor must you think it has cost me much to lose it。〃
Hugh felt hurt; at which no one who understands will be surprised。
〃But I cannot afford to lose you; the only friend I have;〃 she
added。
Hugh turned towards her with a face full of manhood a