第 66 节
作者:
散发弄舟 更新:2021-02-21 16:20 字数:9321
hours。 At lengthhorrible; far more horrible to him than the
vision of the ghostEuphra crept past him; appearing in the
darkness to crawl along the wall against which she supported
herself; and scarcely suppressing her groans of pain。 She reached
her own room; and entering; closed the door。
Hugh was nearly mad。 He rushed down the stair to the library; and
out into the wood。 Why or whither he knew not。
Suddenly he received a blow on the head。 It did not stun him; but
he staggered under it。 Had he run against a tree? No。 There was
the dim bulk of a man disappearing through the boles。 He darted
after him。 The man heard his footsteps; stopped; and waited in
silence。 As Hugh came up to him; he made a thrust at him with some
weapon。 He missed his aim。 The weapon passed through his coat and
under his arm。 The next moment; Hugh had wrenched the sword…stick
from him; thrown it away; and grappled withFunkelstein。 But
strong as Hugh was; the Bohemian was as strong; and the contest was
doubtful。 Strange as it may seemin the midst of it; while each
held the other unable to move; the conviction flashed upon Hugh's
mind; that; whoever might have taken Lady Euphrasia's ring; he was
grappling with the thief of his father's。
〃Give me my ring;〃 gasped he。
An imprecation of a sufficiently emphatic character was the only
reply。 The Bohemian got one hand loose; and Hugh heard a sound like
the breaking of glass。 Before he could gain any advantagefor his
antagonist seemed for the moment to have concentrated all his force
in the other handa wet handkerchief was held firmly to his face。
His fierceness died away; he was lapt in the vapour of dreams; and
his senses departed。
CHAPTER XXIX。
HUGH'S AWAKING。
But ah! believe me; there is more than so;
That works such wonders in the minds of men;
I; that have often proved; too well it know;
And whoso list the like assays to ken;
Shall find by trial; and confess it then;
That beauty is not; as fond men misdeem;
An outward show of things that only seem!
But ye; fair dames; the world's dear ornaments;
And lively images of heaven's light;
Let not your beams with such disparagements
Be dimmed; and your bright glory darkened quite;
But; mindful still of your first country's sight;
Do still preserve your first informed grace;
Whose shadow yet shines in your beauteous face。
SPENSER。Hymn in Honour of Beauty。
When Hugh came to himself; he was lying; in the first grey of the
dawn; amidst the dews and vapours of the morning woods。 He rose and
looked around him。 The Ghost's Walk lay in long silence before him。
Here and there a little bird moved and peeped。 The glory of a new
day was climbing up the eastern coast of heaven。 It would be a day
of late summer; crowned with flame; and throbbing with ripening
life。 But for him the spirit was gone out of the world; and it was
nought but a mass of blind; heartless forces。
Possibly; had he overheard the conversation; the motions only of
which he had overseen the preceding night; he would; although
equally perplexed; have thought more gently of Euphra; but; in the
mood into which even then he must have been thrown; his deeper
feelings towards her could hardly have been different from what they
were now。 Although he had often felt that Euphra was not very good;
not a suspicion had crossed his mind as to what he would have called
the purity of her nature。 Like many youths; even of character
inferior to his own; he had the loftiest notions of feminine grace;
and unspottedness in thought and feeling; not to say action and aim。
Now he found that he had loved a woman who would creep from her
chamber; at the cost of great suffering; and almost at the risk of
her life; to meet; in the night and the woods; a man no better than
an assassinprobably a thief。 Had he been more versed in the ways
of women; or in the probabilities of things; he would have judged
that the very extravagance of the action demanded a deeper
explanation than what seemed to lie on the surface。 Yet; although
he judged Euphra very hardly upon those grounds; would he have
judged her differently had he actually known all? About this I am
left to conjecture alone。
But the effect on Hugh was different from what the ordinary reader
of human nature might anticipate。 Instead of being torn in pieces
by storms of jealousy; all the summer growths of his love were
chilled by an absolute frost of death。 A kind of annihilation sank
upon the image of Euphra。 There had been no such Euphra。 She had
been but a creation of his own brain。 It was not so much that he
ceased to love; as that the being belovednot died; butceased to
exist。 There were moments in which he seemed to love her still with
a wild outcry of passion; but the frenzy soon vanished in the
selfish feeling of his own loss。 His love was not a high onenot
such as thine; my Falconer。 Thine was love indeed; though its tale
is too good to tell; simply because it is too good to be believed;
and we do men a wrong sometimes when we tell them more than they can
receive。
Thought; Speculation; Suggestion; crowded upon each other; till at
length his mind sank passive; and served only as the lists in which
the antagonist thoughts fought a confused battle without herald or
umpire。
But it is amazing to think how soon he began to look back upon his
former fascination with a kind of wondering unbelief。 This bespoke
the strength of Hugh's ideal sense; as well as the weakness of his
actual love。 He could hardly even recall the feelings with which;
on some well…remembered occasion; he had regarded her; and which
then it had seemed impossible he should ever forget。 Had he
discovered the cloven foot of a demon under those trailing
garmentshe could hardly have ceased to love her more suddenly or
entirely。 But there is an aching that is worse to bear than pain。
I trust my reader will not judge very hardly of Hugh; because of the
change which had thus suddenly passed upon his feelings。 He felt
now just as he had felt on waking in the morning and finding that he
had been in love with a dream…lady all the night: it had been very
delightful; and it was sad that it was all gone; and could come back
no more。 But the wonder to me is; not that some loves will not
stand the test of absence; but that; their nature being what it is;
they should outlast one week of familiar intercourse。
He mourned bitterly over the loss of those feelings; for they had
been precious to him。 But could he help it? Indeed he could not;
for his love had been fascination; and the fascination having
ceased; the love was gone。
I believe some of my readers will not need this apology for Hugh;
but will rather admire the facility with which he rose above a
misplaced passion; and dismissed its object。 So do not I。 It came
of his having never loved。 Had he really loved Euphra; herself; her
own self; the living woman who looked at him out of those eyes; out
of that face; such pity would have blended with the love as would
have made it greater; and permitted no indignation to overwhelm it。
As it was; he was utterly passive and helpless in the matter。 The
fault lay in the original weakness that submitted to be so
fascinated; that gave in to it; notwithstanding the vague
expostulations of his better nature; and the consciousness that he
was neglecting his duty to Harry; in order to please Euphra and
enjoy her society。 Had he persisted in doing his duty; it would at
least have kept his mind more healthy; lessened the absorption of
his passion; and given him opportunities of reflection; and moments
of true perception as to what he was about。 But now the spell was
broken at once; and the poor girl had lost a worshipper。 The golden
image with the feet of clay might arise in a prophet's dream; but it
could never abide in such a lover's。 Her glance was powerless now。
Alas; for the withering of such a dream! Perhaps she deserved
nothing else; but our deserts; when we get them; are sad enough
sometimes。
All that day he walked as in a dream of loss。 As for the person
whom he had used to call Euphra; she was removed to a vast distance
from him。 An absolutely impassable gulf lay between them。
She sent for him。 He went to her filled with a sense of
insensibility。 She was much worse; and suffering great pain。 Hugh
saw at once that she knew that all was over between them; and that
he had seen her pass his door; or had been in her room; for he had
left her door a little open; and she had left it shut。 One
pathetic; most pitiful glance of deprecating entreaty she fixed upon
him; as after a few moments of speechless waiting; he turned to
leave the roomwhich would have remained deathless in his heart;
but that he interpreted it to mean: 〃Don't tell;〃 so he got rid of
it at once by the grant of its supposed request。 She made no effort
to detain him。 She turned her face away; and; hard…hearted; he
heard her sob; not as if her heart would breakthat is littlebut
like an immortal woman in immortal agony; and he did not turn to
comfort her。 Perhaps it was betterhow could he comfort her? Some
kinds of comfortthe only kinds which