第 13 节
作者:圈圈      更新:2021-02-21 16:11      字数:9322
  about the sale; before I got there; and asked me what I had fetched; and
  who   had   bought   me;   and   hooted   at   me;   〃Going;   going;   gone!〃   I   never
  whispered   in   that   wretched   place   that   I   had   been   Haroun;   or   had   had   a
  Seraglio:   for;   I   knew   that   if   I   mentioned   my   reverses;   I   should   be   so
  worried; that I should have to drown myself in the muddy pond near the
  playground; which looked like the beer。
  Ah me; ah me! No other ghost has haunted the boy's room; my friends;
  since I have occupied it; than the ghost of my own childhood; the ghost of
  my own innocence; the ghost of my own airy belief。 Many a time have I
  pursued the phantom: never with this man's stride of mine to come up with
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  it;  never   with these   man's   hands   of   mine   to   touch it;  never  more   to   this
  man's heart of mine to hold it in its purity。 And here you see me working
  out;   as   cheerfully   and   thankfully   as   I   may;   my   doom   of   shaving   in   the
  glass   a   constant   change   of   customers;   and   of   lying   down   and   rising   up
  with the skeleton allotted to me for my mortal companion。
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  THE TRIAL FOR MURDER。
  I   have  always    noticed   a   prevalent    want   of   courage;    even   among
  persons   of   superior   intelligence   and   culture;   as   to   imparting   their   own
  psychological experiences when those have been of a strange sort。 Almost
  all men are afraid that what they could relate in such wise would find no
  parallel or response in a listener's internal life; and might be suspected or
  laughed at。 A truthful traveller; who should have seen some extraordinary
  creature in the likeness of a sea…serpent; would have no fear of mentioning
  it; but the same traveller; having had some singular presentiment; impulse;
  vagary of thought; vision (so…called); dream; or other remarkable mental
  impression; would hesitate considerably before he would own to it。 To this
  reticence   I   attribute   much   of   the   obscurity   in   which   such   subjects   are
  involved。   We   do   not   habitually   communicate   our   experiences   of   these
  subjective   things   as   we   do   our   experiences   of   objective   creation。   The
  consequence is; that the general stock of experience in this regard appears
  exceptional; and really is so; in respect of being miserably imperfect。
  In   what    I  am   going    to  relate;  I  have   no   intention    of  setting   up;
  opposing;  or   supporting;   any  theory  whatever。  I   know   the   history  of   the
  Bookseller      of   Berlin;   I  have   studied    the   case   of  the   wife   of  a  late
  Astronomer Royal as related by Sir David Brewster; and I have followed
  the minutest details of a much more remarkable case of Spectral Illusion
  occurring within my private circle of friends。 It may be necessary to state
  as to this last; that the sufferer (a lady) was in no degree; however distant;
  related   to   me。   A   mistaken    assumption      on   that   head   might   suggest    an
  explanation of a part of my own case;but only a part;which would be
  wholly without foundation。 It cannot be referred to my inheritance of any
  developed peculiarity; nor had I ever before any at all similar experience;
  nor have I ever had any at all similar experience since。
  It does not signify how many years ago; or how few; a certain murder
  was committed in England; which attracted great attention。 We hear more
  than   enough   of   murderers   as   they   rise   in   succession   to   their   atrocious
  eminence; and I would bury the memory of this particular brute; if I could;
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  as his body was buried; in Newgate Jail。 I purposely abstain from giving
  any direct clue to the criminal's individuality。
  When   the   murder   was   first   discovered;   no   suspicion   fellor   I   ought
  rather   to   say;   for   I   cannot   be   too   precise   in   my   facts;   it   was   nowhere
  publicly   hinted   that   any   suspicion   fellon   the   man   who   was   afterwards
  brought   to   trial。   As   no   reference   was   at   that   time   made   to   him   in   the
  newspapers; it is obviously impossible that any description of him can at
  that time have been given in the newspapers。 It is essential that this fact be
  remembered。
  Unfolding   at   breakfast   my   morning   paper;   containing   the   account   of
  that first discovery; I found it to be deeply interesting; and I read it with
  close attention。 I read it twice; if not three times。 The discovery had been
  made   in   a bedroom;  and;  when   I   laid   down   the paper;  I   was   aware of   a
  flashrushflowI   do   not   know   what   to   call   it;no   word   I   can   find   is
  satisfactorily descriptive;in which I seemed to see that bedroom passing
  through   my   room;   like   a   picture   impossibly   painted   on   a   running   river。
  Though almost instantaneous in its passing; it was perfectly clear; so clear
  that   I   distinctly;   and   with   a   sense   of   relief;   observed   the   absence   of   the
  dead body from the bed。
  It   was   in   no   romantic   place   that   I   had   this   curious   sensation;   but   in
  chambers in Piccadilly; very near to the corner of St。 James's Street。 It was
  entirely     new    to  me。    I  was   in   my   easy…chair     at   the  moment;      and    the
  sensation was accompanied with a peculiar shiver which started the chair
  from its position。 (But it is to be noted that the chair ran easily on castors。)
  I went to one of the windows (there are two in the room; and the room is
  on the second floor) to refresh my eyes with the moving objects down in
  Piccadilly。 It was a bright autumn   morning; and the street was sparkling
  and cheerful。 The wind was high。 As I looked out; it brought down from
  the Park a quantity of fallen leaves; which a gust took; and whirled into a
  spiral pillar。 As the pillar fell and the leaves dispersed; I saw two men on
  the   opposite   side   of   the   way;   going   from   West   to   East。   They   were   one
  behind the other。 The foremost man often looked back over his shoulder。
  The second man followed him; at a distance of some thirty paces; with his
  right hand menacingly raised。 First; the singularity and steadiness of this
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  threatening gesture in so public a thoroughfare attracted my attention; and
  next; the more remarkable circumstance that nobody heeded it。 Both men
  threaded their way among the other passengers with a smoothness hardly
  consistent even with the action of walking on a pavement; and no single
  creature; that I could see; gave them place; touched them; or looked after
  them。   In   passing   before   my   windows;   they   both   stared   up   at   me。   I   saw
  their   two   faces   very   distinctly;   and   I   knew   that   I   could   recognise   them
  anywhere。 Not that I had consciously noticed anything very remarkable in
  either face; except that the man who went first had an unusually lowering
  appearance;   and   that   the   face   of   the   man   who   followed   him   was   of   the
  colour of impure wax。
  I   am   a  bachelor;     and   my    valet  and    his  wife   constitute    my   whole
  establishment。 My occupation is in a certain Branch Bank; and I wish that
  my   duties   as   head   of   a   Department   were   as   light   as   they   are   popularly
  supposed to be。 They kept me in town that autumn; when I stood in need
  of change。 I was not ill; but I was not well。 My reader is to make the most
  that   can   be   reasonably   made   of   my   feeling   jaded;   having   a   depressing
  sense upon me of a monotonous life; and being 〃slightly dyspeptic。〃 I am
  assured by  my renowned   doctor that my  real state of   health at that   time
  justifies   no   stronger   description;   and   I   quote   his   own   from   his   written
  answer to my request for it。
  As     the  circumstances       of   the   murder;     gradually     unravelling;     took
  stronger   and   stronger   possession   of   the   public   mind;   I   kept   them   away
  from mine by knowing as little about them as was possible in the midst of
  the universal excitement。 But I knew that a verdict of Wilful Murder had
  been     found     against    the   suspected      murderer;     and    that