of　relief　in　a　change　of　sensations；　apart　from　the　strong　personal
  feeling　which　impelled　him　to　defend　Sonia。　He　was　agitated　too；
  especially　at　some　moments；　by　the　thought　of　his　approaching
  interview　with　Sonia：　he　had　to　tell　her　who　had　killed　Lizaveta。　He
  knew　the　terrible　suffering　it　would　be　to　him　and；　as　it　were；
  brushed　away　the　thought　of　it。　So　when　he　cried　as　he　left　Katerina
  Ivanovna's；　〃Well；　Sofya　Semyonovna；　we　shall　see　what　you'll　say
  now！〃　he　was　still　superficially　excited；　still　vigorous　and　defiant
  from　his　triumph　over　Luzhin。　But；　strange　to　say；　by　the　time　he
  reached　Sonia's　lodging；　he　felt　a　sudden　impotence　and　fear。　He　stood
  still　in　hesitation　at　the　door；　asking　himself　the　strange
  question：　〃Must　I　tell　her　who　killed　Lizaveta？〃　It　was　a　strange
  question　because　he　felt　at　the　very　time　not　only　that　he　could　not
  help　telling　her；　but　also　that　he　could　not　put　off　the　telling。　He
  did　not　yet　know　why　it　must　be　so；　he　only　felt　it；　and　the　agonising
  sense　of　his　impotence　before　the　inevitable　almost　crushed　him。　To
  cut　short　his　hesitation　and　suffering；　he　quickly　opened　the　door　and
  looked　at　Sonia　from　the　doorway。　She　was　sitting　with　her　elbows　on
  the　table　and　her　face　in　her　hands；　but　seeing　Raskolnikov　she　got　up
  at　once　and　came　to　meet　him　as　though　she　were　expecting　him。
  〃What　would　have　become　of　me　but　for　you！〃　she　said　quickly；
  meeting　him　in　the　middle　of　the　room。
  Evidently　she　was　in　haste　to　say　this　to　him。　It　was　what　she　had
  been　waiting　for。
  Raskolnikov　went　to　the　table　and　sat　down　on　the　chair　from　which
  she　had　only　just　risen。　She　stood　facing　him；　two　steps　away；　just　as
  she　had　done　the　day　before。
  〃Well；　Sonia？〃　he　said；　and　felt　that　his　voice　was　trembling；　〃it
  was　all　due　to　'your　social　position　and　the　habits　associated　with
  it。'　Did　you　understand　that　just　now？〃
  Her　face　showed　her　distress。
  〃Only　don't　talk　to　me　as　you　did　yesterday；〃　she　interrupted　him。
  〃Please　don't　begin　it。　There　is　misery　enough　without　that。〃
  She　made　haste　to　smile；　afraid　that　he　might　not　like　the　reproach。
  〃I　was　silly　to　come　away　from　there。　What　is　happening　there　now？　I
  wanted　to　go　back　directly；　but　I　kept　thinking　that。。。　you　would
  come。〃
  He　told　her　that　Amalia　Ivanovna　was　turning　them　out　of　their
  lodging　and　that　Katerina　Ivanovna　had　run　off　somewhere　〃to　seek
  justice。〃
  〃My　God！〃　cried　Sonia；　〃let's　go　at　once。。。。〃
  And　she　snatched　up　her　cape。
  〃It's　everlastingly　the　same　thing！〃　said　Raskolnikov；　irritably。
  〃You've　no　thought　except　for　them！　Stay　a　little　with　me。〃
  〃But。。。　Katerina　Ivanovna？〃
  〃You　won't　lose　Katerina　Ivanovna；　you　may　be　sure；　she'll　come　to
  you　herself　since　she　has　run　out；〃　he　added　peevishly。　〃If　she
  doesn't　find　you　here；　you'll　be　blamed　for　it。。。。〃
  Sonia　sat　down　in　painful　suspense。　Raskolnikov　was　silent；　gazing
  at　the　floor　and　deliberating。
  〃This　time　Luzhin　did　not　want　to　prosecute　you；〃　he　began；　not
  looking　at　Sonia；　〃but　if　he　had　wanted　to；　if　it　had　suited　his
  plans；　he　would　have　sent　you　to　prison　if　it　had　not　been　for
  Lebeziatnikov　and　me。　Ah？〃
  〃Yes；〃　she　assented　in　a　faint　voice。　〃Yes；〃　she　repeated；
  preoccupied　and　distressed。
  〃But　I　might　easily　not　have　been　there。　And　it　was　quite　an
  accident　Lebeziatnikov's　turning　up。〃
  Sonia　was　silent。
  〃And　if　you'd　gone　to　prison；　what　then？　Do　you　remember　what　I　said
  yesterday？〃
  Again　she　did　not　answer。　He　waited。
  〃I　thought　you　would　cry　out　again　'don't　speak　of　it；　leave
  off。'〃　Raskolnikov　gave　a　laugh；　but　rather　a　forced　one。　〃What；
  silence　again？〃　he　asked　a　minute　later。　〃We　must　talk　about
  something；　you　know。　It　would　be　interesting　for　me　to　know　how　you
  would　decide　a　certain　'problem'　as　Lebeziatnikov　would　say。〃　（He
  was　beginning　to　lose　the　thread。）　〃No；　really；　I　am　serious。　Imagine；
  Sonia；　that　you　had　known　all　Luzhin's　intentions　beforehand。　Known；
  that　is；　for　a　fact；　that　they　would　be　the　ruin　of　Katerina
  Ivanovna　and　the　children　and　yourself　thrown　in…　since　you　don't
  count　yourself　for　anything…　Polenka　too。。。　for　she'll　go　the　same
  way。　Well；　if　suddenly　it　all　depended　on　your　decision　whether　he
  or　they　should　go　on　living；　that　is　whether　Luzhin　should　go　on
  living　and　doing　wicked　things；　or　Katerina　Ivanovna　should　die？　How
  would　you　decide　which　of　them　was　to　die？　I　ask　you？〃
  Sonia　looked　uneasily　at　him。　There　was　something　peculiar　in　this
  hesitating　question；　which　seemed　approaching　something　in　a
  roundabout　way。
  〃I　felt　that　you　were　going　to　ask　some　question　like　that；〃　she
  said；　looking　inquisitively　at　him。
  〃I　dare　say　you　did。　But　how　is　it　to　be　answered？〃
  〃Why　do　you　ask　about　what　could　not　happen？〃　said　Sonia
  reluctantly。
  〃Then　it　would　be　better　for　Luzhin　to　go　on　living　and　doing　wicked
  things？　You　haven't　dared　to　decide　even　that！〃
  〃But　I　can't　know　the　Divine　Providence。。。。　And　why　do　you　ask
  what　can't　be　answered？　What's　the　use　of　such　foolish　questions？
  How　could　it　happen　that　it　should　depend　on　my　decision…　who　has　made
  me　a　judge　to　decide　who　is　to　live　and　who　is　not　to　live？〃
  〃Oh；　if　the　Divine　Providence　is　to　be　mixed　up　in　it；　there　is　no
  doing　anything；〃　Raskolnikov　grumbled　morosely。
  〃You'd　better　say　straight　out　what　you　want！〃　Sonia　cried　in
  distress。　〃You　are　leading　up　to　something　again。。。。　Can　you　have　come
  simply　to　torture　me？〃
  She　could　not　control　herself　and　began　crying　bitterly。　He　looked
  at　her　in　gloomy　misery。　Five　minutes　passed。
  〃Of　course　you're　right；　Sonia；〃　he　said　softly　at　last。　He　was
  suddenly　changed。　His　tone　of　assumed　arrogance　and　helpless
  defiance　was　gone。　Even　his　voice　was　suddenly　weak。　〃I　told　you
  yesterday　that　I　was　not　coming　to　ask　forgiveness　and　almost　the
  first　thing　I've　said　is　to　ask　forgiveness。。。。　I　said　that　about
  Luzhin　and　Providence　for　my　own　sake。　I　was　asking　forgiveness；
  Sonia。。。。〃
  He　tried　to　smile；　but　there　was　something　helpless　and　incomplete
  in　his　pale　smile。　He　bowed　his　head　and　hid　his　face　in　his　hands。
  And　suddenly　a　strange；　surprising　sensation　of　a　sort　of　bitter
  hatred　for　Sonia　passed　through　his　heart。　As　it　were　wondering　and
  frightened　of　this　sensation；　he　raised　his　head　and　looked　intently
  at　her；　but　he　met　her　uneasy　and　painfully　anxious　eyes　fixed　on　him；
  there　was　love　in　them；　his　hatred　vanished　like　a　phantom。　It　was　not
  the　real　feeling；　he　had　taken　the　one　feeling　for　the　other。　It
  only　meant　that　that　minute　had　come。
  He　hid　his　face　in　his　hands　again　and　bowed　his　head。　Suddenly　he
  turned　pale；　got　up　from　his　chair；　looked　at　Sonia；　and　without
  uttering　a　word　sat　down　mechanically　on　her　bed。
  His　sensations　that　moment　were　terribly　like　the　moment　when　he　had
  stood　over　the　old　woman　with　the　axe　in　his　hand　and　felt　that　〃he
  must　not　lose　another　minute。〃
  〃What's　the　matter？〃　asked　Sonia