第 138 节
作者:不言败      更新:2021-02-21 15:49      字数:9322
  hundred…rouble note; because; when you were going to give Sofya
  Semyonovna ten roubles; you took up from the table a hundred…rouble
  note (I saw it because I was standing near then; and an idea struck me
  at once; so that I did not forget you had it in your hand)。 You folded
  it and kept it in your hand all the time。 I didn't think of it again
  until; when you were getting up; you changed it from your right hand
  to your left and nearly dropped it! I noticed it because the same idea
  struck me again; that you meant to do her a kindness without my
  seeing。 You can fancy how I watched you and I saw how you succeeded in
  slipping it into her pocket。 I saw it; I saw it; I'll take my oath。〃
  Lebeziatnikov was almost breathless。 Exclamations arose on all hands
  chiefly expressive of wonder; but some were menacing in tone。 They all
  crowded round Pyotr Petrovitch。 Katerina Ivanovna flew to
  Lebeziatnikov。
  〃I was mistaken in you! Protect her! You are the only one to take
  her part! She is an orphan。 God has sent you!〃
  Katerina Ivanovna; hardly knowing what she was doing; sank on her
  knees before him。
  〃A pack of nonsense!〃 yelled Luzhin; roused to fury; 〃it's all
  nonsense you've been talking! 'An idea struck you; you didn't think;
  you noticed'… what does it amount to? So I gave it to her on the sly
  on purpose? What for? With what object? What have I to do with
  this。。。?〃
  〃What for? That's what I can't understand; but that what I am
  telling you is the fact; that's certain! So far from my being
  mistaken; you infamous; criminal man; I remember how; on account of
  it; a question occurred to me at once; just when I was thanking you
  and pressing your hand。 What made you put it secretly in her pocket?
  Why you did it secretly; I mean? Could it be simply to conceal it from
  me; knowing that my convictions are opposed to yours and that I do not
  approve of private benevolence; which effects no radical cure? Well; I
  decided that you really were ashamed of giving such a large sum before
  me。 Perhaps; too; I thought; he wants to give her a surprise; when she
  finds a whole hundred…rouble note in her pocket。 (For I know some
  benevolent people are very fond of decking out their charitable
  actions in that way。) Then the idea struck me; too; that you wanted to
  test her; to see whether; when she found it; she would come to thank
  you。 Then; too; that you wanted to avoid thanks and that; as the
  saying is; your right hand should not know。。。 something of that
  sort; in fact。 I thought of so many possibilities that I put off
  considering it; but still thought it indelicate to show you I knew
  your secret。 But another idea struck me again that Sofya Semyonovna
  might easily lose the money before she noticed it; that was why I
  decided to come in here to call her out of the room and to tell her
  that you put a hundred roubles in her pocket。 But on my way I went
  first to Madame Kobilatnikov's to take them the 'General Treatise on
  the Positive Method' and especially to recommend Piderit's article
  (and also Wagner's); then I come on here and what a state of things
  I find! Now could I; could I; have all these ideas and reflections; if
  I had not seen you put the hundred…rouble note in her pocket?〃
  When Lebeziatnikov finished his long…winded harangue with the
  logical deduction at the end; he was quite tired; and the perspiration
  streamed from his face。 He could not; alas; even express himself
  correctly in Russian; though he knew no other language; so that he was
  quite exhausted; almost emaciated after this heroic exploit。 But his
  speech produced a powerful effect。 He had spoken with such
  vehemence; with such conviction that every one obviously believed him。
  Pyotr Petrovitch felt that things were going badly with him。
  〃What is it to do with me if silly ideas did occur to you?〃 he
  shouted; 〃that's no evidence。 You may have dreamt it; that's all!
  And I tell you; you are lying; sir。 You are lying and slandering
  from some spite against me; simply from pique; because I did not agree
  with your freethinking; godless; social propositions!〃
  But this retort did not benefit Pyotr Petrovitch。 Murmurs of
  disapproval were heard on all sides。
  〃Ah; that's your line now; is it!〃 cried Lebeziatnikov; 〃that's
  nonsense! Call the police and I'll take my oath! There's only one
  thing I can't understand: what made him risk such a contemptible
  action。 Oh; pitiful; despicable man!〃
  〃I can explain why he risked such an action; and if necessary; I;
  too; will swear to it;〃 Raskolnikov said at last in a firm voice;
  and he stepped forward。
  He appeared to be firm and composed。 Every one felt clearly; from
  the very look of him that he really knew about it and that the mystery
  would be solved。
  〃Now I can explain it all to myself;〃 said Raskolnikov; addressing
  Lebeziatnikov。 〃From the very beginning of the business; I suspected
  that there was some scoundrelly intrigue at the bottom of it。 I
  began to suspect it from some special circumstances known to me
  only; which I will explain at once to every one: they account for
  everything。 Your valuable evidence has finally made everything clear
  to me。 I beg all; all to listen。 This gentleman (he pointed to Luzhin)
  was recently engaged to be married to a young lady… my sister; Avdotya
  Romanovna Raskolnikov。 But coming to Petersburg he quarrelled with me;
  the day before yesterday; at our first meeting and I drove him out
  of my room… I have two witnesses to prove it。 He is a very spiteful
  man。。。。 The day before yesterday I did not know that he was staying
  here; in your room; and that consequently on the very day we
  quarrelled… the day before yesterday… he saw me give Katerina Ivanovna
  some money for the funeral; as a friend of the late Mr。 Marmeladov。 He
  at once wrote a note to my mother and informed her that I had given
  away all my money; not to Katerina Ivanovna; but to Sofya
  Semyonovna; and referred in a most contemptible way to the。。。
  character of Sofya Semyonovna; that is; hinted at the character of
  my attitude to Sofya Semyonovna。 All this you understand was with
  the object of dividing me from my mother and sister; by insinuating
  that I was squandering on unworthy objects the money which they had
  sent me and which was all they had。 Yesterday evening; before my
  mother and sister and in his presence; I declared that I had given the
  money to Katerina Ivanovna for the funeral and not to Sofya Semyonovna
  and that I had no acquaintance with Sofya Semyonovna and had never
  seen her before; indeed。 At the same time I added that he; Pyotr
  Petrovitch Luzhin; with all his virtues was not worth Sofya
  Semyonovna's little finger; though he spoke so ill of her。 To his
  question… would I let Sofya Semyonovna sit down beside my sister; I
  answered that I had already done so that day。 Irritated that my mother
  and sister were unwilling to quarrel with me at his insinuations; he
  gradually began being unpardonably rude to them。 A final rupture
  took place and he was turned out of the house。 All this happened
  yesterday evening。 Now I beg your special attention: consider: if he
  had now succeeded in proving that Sofya Semyonovna was a thief; he
  would have shown to my mother and sister that he was almost right in
  his suspicions; that he had reason to be angry at my putting my sister
  on a level with Sofya Semyonovna; that; in attacking me; he was
  protecting and preserving the honour of my sister; his betrothed。 In
  fact he might even; through all this; have been able to estrange me
  from my family; and no doubt he hoped to be restored to favour with
  them; to say nothing of revenging himself on me personally; for he has
  grounds for supposing that the honour and happiness of Sofya
  Semyonovna are very precious to me