第 105 节
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不言败 更新:2021-02-21 15:48 字数:9322
he had made in temper; through impulsiveness and irritability。。。。
Moreover; all that morning one unpleasantness followed another。 He
even found a hitch awaiting him in his legal case in the Senate。 He
was particularly irritated by the owner of the flat which had been
taken in view of his approaching marriage and was being redecorated at
his own expense; the owner; a rich German tradesman; would not
entertain the idea of breaking the contract which had just been signed
and insisted on the full forfeit money; though Pyotr Petrovitch
would be giving him back the flat practically redecorated。 In the same
way the upholsterers refused to return a single rouble of the
instalment paid for the furniture purchased but not yet removed to the
flat。
〃Am I to get married simply for the sake of the furniture?〃 Pyotr
Petrovitch ground his teeth and at the same time once more he had a
gleam of desperate hope。 〃Can all that be really so irrevocably
over? Is it no use to make another effort?〃 The thought of Dounia sent
a voluptuous pang through his heart。 He endured anguish at that
moment; and if it had been possible to slay Raskolnikov instantly by
wishing it; Pyotr Petrovitch would promptly have uttered the wish。
〃It was my mistake; too; not to have given them money;〃 he
thought; as he returned dejectedly to Lebeziatnikov's room; 〃and why
on earth was I such a Jew? It was false economy! I meant to keep
them without a penny so that they should turn to me as their
providence; and look at them! Foo! If I'd spent some fifteen hundred
roubles on them for the trousseau and presents; on knick…knacks;
dressing…cases; jewellery; materials; and all that sort of trash
from Knopp's and the English shop; my position would have been
better and。。。 stronger! They could not have refused me so easily! They
are the sort of people that would feel bound to return money and
presents if they broke it off; and they would find it hard to do it!
And their consciences would prick them: how can we dismiss a man who
has hitherto been so generous and delicate?。。。。 H'm! I've made a
blunder。〃
And grinding his teeth again; Pyotr Petrovitch called himself a
fool… but not aloud; of course。
He returned home; twice as irritated and angry as before。 The
preparations for the funeral dinner at Katerina Ivanovna's excited his
curiosity as he passed。 He had heard about it the day before; he
fancied; indeed; that he had been invited; but absorbed in his own
cares he had paid no attention。 Inquiring of Madame Lippevechsel who
was busy laying the table while Katerina Ivanovna was away at the
cemetery; he heard that the entertainment was to be a great affair;
that all the lodgers had been invited; among them some who had not
known the dead man; that even Andrey Semyonovitch Lebeziatnikov was
invited in spite of his previous quarrel with Katerina Ivanovna;
that he; Pyotr Petrovitch; was not only invited; but was eagerly
expected as he was the most important of the lodgers。 Amalia
Ivanovna herself had been invited with great ceremony in spite of
the recent unpleasantness; and so she was very busy with
preparations and was taking a positive pleasure in them; she was
moreover dressed up to the nines; all in new black silk; and she was
proud of it。 All this suggested an idea to Pyotr Petrovitch and he
went into his room; or rather Lebeziatnikov's; somewhat thoughtful。 He
had learnt that Raskolnikov was to be one of the guests。
Andrey Semyonovitch had been at home all the morning。 The attitude
of Pyotr Petrovitch to this gentleman was strange; though perhaps
natural。 Pyotr Petrovitch had despised and hated him from the day he
came to stay with him and at the same time he seemed somewhat afraid
of him。 He had not come to stay with him on his arrival in
Petersburg simply from parsimony; though that had been perhaps his
chief object。 He had heard of Andrey Semyonovitch; who had once been
his ward; as a leading young progressive who was taking an important
part in certain interesting circles; the doings of which were a legend
in the provinces。 It had impressed Pyotr Petrovitch。 These powerful
omniscient circles who despised every one and showed every one up
had long inspired in him a peculiar but quite vague alarm。 He had not;
of course; been able to form even an approximate notion of what they
meant。 He; like every one; had heard that there were; especially in
Petersburg; progressives of some sort; nihilists and so on; and;
like many people; he exaggerated and distorted the significance of
those words to an absurd degree。 What for many years past he had
feared more than anything was being shown up and this was the chief
ground for his continual uneasiness at the thought of transferring his
business to Petersburg。 He was afraid of this as little children are
sometimes panic…stricken。 Some years before; when he was just entering
on his own career; he had come upon two cases in which rather
important personages in the province; patrons of his; had been cruelly
shown up。 One instance had ended in great scandal for the person
attacked and the other had very nearly ended in serious trouble。 For
this reason Pyotr Petrovitch intended to go into the subject as soon
as he reached Petersburg and; if necessary; to anticipate
contingencies by seeking the favour of 〃our younger generation。〃 He
relied on Andrey Semyonovitch for this and before his visit to
Raskolnikov he had succeeded in picking up some current phrases。 He
soon discovered that Andrey Semyonovitch was a commonplace
simpleton; but that by no means reassured Pyotr Petrovitch。 Even if he
had been certain that all the progressives were fools like him; it
would not have allayed his uneasiness。 All the doctrines; the ideas;
the systems with which Andrey Semyonovitch pestered him had no
interest for him。 He had his own object… he simply wanted to find
out at once what was happening here。 Had these people any power or
not? Had he anything to fear from them? Would they expose any
enterprise of his? And what precisely was now the object of their
attacks? Could he somehow make up to them and get round them if they
really were powerful? Was this the thing to do or not? Couldn't he
gain something through them? In fact hundreds of questions presented
themselves。
Andrey Semyonovitch was an anaemic; scrofulous little man; with
strangely flaxen mutton…chop whiskers of which he was very proud。 He
was a clerk and had almost always something wrong with his eyes。 He
was rather soft…hearted; but self…confident and sometimes extremely
conceited in speech which had an absurd effect; incongruous with his
little figure。 He was one of the lodgers most respected by Amalia
Ivanovna; for he did not get drunk and paid regularly for his
lodgings。 Andrey Semyonovitch really was rather stupid; he attached
himself to the cause of progress and 〃our younger generation〃 from
enthusiasm。 He was one of the numerous and varied legion of
dullards; of half…animate abortions; conceited; half…educated
coxcombs; who attach themselves to the idea most in fashion only to
vulgarise it and who caricature every cause they serve; however
sincerely。
Though Lebeziatnikov was so good…natured; he; too; was beginning
to dislike Pyotr Petrovitch。 This happened on both sides
unconsciously。 However simple Andrey Semyonovitch might be; he began
to see that Pyotr Petrovitch was duping him and secretly despising
him; and that 〃he was not the right sort of man。〃 He had tried
expounding to him the system of Fourier and the Darwinian theory;
but of late Pyotr Petrovitch began to listen too sarcastically and
even to be rude。 The fact was he had begun instinctively to guess that
Lebeziatnikov was not merely a com