〃And　do　you　read　the　Scriptures　often？〃　said　he。　　〃No；〃　said　I。
  〃Why　not？〃　said　he。　　〃Because　I　am　afraid　to　see　there　my　own
  condemnation。〃　　They　looked　at　each　other；　and　said　nothing　at　the
  time。　　On　leaving　me；　however；　they　all　advised　me　to　read　the
  Scriptures　with　fervency　and　prayer。
  'As　I　had　told　these　honest　people；　I　shrank　from　searching　the
  Scriptures；　the　remembrance　of　the　fatal　passage　was　still　too
  vivid　in　my　mind　to　permit　me。　　I　did　not　wish　to　see　my
  condemnation　repeated；　but　I　was　very　fervent　in　prayer；　and　almost
  hoped　that　God　would　yet　forgive　me　by　virtue　of　the　blood…shedding
  of　the　Lamb。　　Time　passed　on；　my　affairs　prospered；　and　I　enjoyed　a
  certain　portion　of　tranquillity。　　Occasionally；　when　I　had　nothing
  else　to　do；　I　renewed　my　studies。　　Many　is　the　book　I　read；
  especially　in　my　native　language；　for　I　was　always　fond　of　my
  native　language；　and　proud　of　being　a　Welshman。　　Amongst　the　books
  I　read　were　the　odes　of　the　great　Ab　Gwilym；　whom　thou；　friend；
  hast　never　heard　of；　no；　nor　any　of　thy　countrymen；　for　you　are　an
  ignorant　race；　you　Saxons；　at　least　with　respect　to　all　that
  relates　to　Wales　and　Welshmen。　　I　likewise　read　the　book　of　Master
  Ellis　Wyn。　　The　latter　work　possessed　a　singular　fascination　for
  me；　on　account　of　its　wonderful　delineations　of　the　torments　of　the
  nether　world。
  'But　man　does　not　love　to　be　alone；　indeed；　the　Scripture　says　that
  it　is　not　good　for　man　to　be　alone。　　I　occupied　my　body　with　the
  pursuits　of　husbandry；　and　I　improved　my　mind　with　the　perusal　of
  good　and　wise　books；　but；　as　I　have　already　said；　I　frequently
  sighed　for　a　companion　with　whom　I　could　exchange　ideas；　and　who
  could　take　an　interest　in　my　pursuits；　the　want　of　such　a　one　I
  more　particularly　felt　in　the　long　winter　evenings。　　It　was　then
  that　the　image　of　the　young　person　whom　I　had　seen　in　the　house　of
  the　preacher　frequently　rose　up　distinctly　before　my　mind's　eye；
  decked　with　quiet　graces　…　hang　not　down　your　head；　Winifred　…　and
  I　thought　that　of　all　the　women　in　the　world　I　should　wish　her　to
  be　my　partner；　and　then　I　considered　whether　it　would　be　possible
  to　obtain　her。　　I　am　ready　to　acknowledge；　friend；　that　it　was　both
  selfish　and　wicked　in　me　to　wish　to　fetter　any　human　being　to　a
  lost　creature　like　myself；　conscious　of　having　committed　a　crime
  for　which　the　Scriptures　told　me　there　is　no　pardon。　　I　had；
  indeed；　a　long　struggle　as　to　whether　I　should　make　the　attempt　or
  not　…　selfishness　however　prevailed。　　I　will　not　detain　your
  attention　with　relating　all　that　occurred　at　this　period　…　suffice
  it　to　say　that　I　made　my　suit　and　was　successful；　it　is　true　that
  the　old　man；　who　was　her　guardian；　hesitated；　and　asked　several
  questions　respecting　my　state　of　mind。　　I　am　afraid　that　I　partly
  deceived　him；　perhaps　he　partly　deceived　himself；　he　was　pleased
  that　I　had　adopted　his　profession　…　we　are　all　weak　creatures。
  With　respect　to　the　young　person；　she　did　not　ask　many　questions；
  and　I　soon　found　that　I　had　won　her　heart。　　To　be　brief；　I　married
  her；　and　here　she　is；　the　truest　wife　that　ever　man　had；　and　the
  kindest。　　Kind　I　may　well　call　her；　seeing　that　she　shrinks　not
  from　me；　who　so　cruelly　deceived　her；　in　not　telling　her　at　first
  what　I　was。　　I　married　her；　friend；　and　brought　her　home　to　my
  little　possession；　where　we　passed　our　time　very　agreeably。　　Our
  affairs　prospered；　our　garners　were　full；　and　there　was　coin　in　our
  purse。　　I　worked　in　the　field；　Winifred　busied　herself　with　the
  dairy。　　At　night　I　frequently　read　books　to　her；　books　of　my　own
  country；　friend；　I　likewise　read　to　her　songs　of　my　own；　holy　songs
  and　carols　which　she　admired；　and　which　yourself　would　perhaps
  admire；　could　you　understand　them；　but　I　repeat；　you　Saxons　are　an
  ignorant　people　with　respect　to　us；　and　a　perverse；　inasmuch　as　you
  despise　Welsh　without　understanding　it。　　Every　night　I　prayed
  fervently；　and　my　wife　admired　my　gift　of　prayer。
  'One　night；　after　I　had　been　reading　to　my　wife　a　portion　of　Ellis
  Wyn；　my　wife　said；　〃This　is　a　wonderful　book；　and　containing　much
  true　and　pleasant　doctrine；　but　how　is　it　that　you；　who　are　so　fond
  of　good　books；　and　good　things　in　general；　never　read　the　Bible？
  You　read　me　the　book　of　Master　Ellis　Wyn；　you　read　me　sweet　songs
  of　your　own　composition；　you　edify　me　with　your　gift　of　prayer；　but
  yet　you　never　read　the　Bible。〃　　And　when　I　heard　her　mention　the
  Bible　I　shook；　for　I　thought　of　my　own　condemnation。　　However；　I
  dearly　loved　my　wife；　and　as　she　pressed　me；　I　commenced　on　that
  very　night　reading　the　Bible。　　All　went　on　smoothly　for　a　long
  time；　for　months　and　months　I　did　not　find　the　fatal　passage；　so
  that　I　almost　thought　that　I　had　imagined　it。　　My　affairs　prospered
  much　the　while；　so　that　I　was　almost　happy；　…　taking　pleasure　in
  everything　around　me；　…　in　my　wife；　in　my　farm；　my　books　and
  compositions；　and　the　Welsh　language；　till　one　night；　as　I　was
  reading　the　Bible；　feeling　particularly　comfortable；　a　thought
  having　just　come　into　my　head　that　I　would　print　some　of　my
  compositions；　and　purchase　a　particular　field　of　a　neighbour　…　O
  God　…　God！　　I　came　to　the　fatal　passage。
  'Friend；　friend；　what　shall　I　say？　　I　rushed　out。　　My　wife　followed
  me；　asking　me　what　was　the　matter。　　I　could　only　answer　with　groans
  …　for　three　days　and　three　nights　I　did　little　else　than　groan。　　Oh
  the　kindness　and　solicitude　of　my　wife！　　〃What　is　the　matter
  husband；　dear　husband？〃　she　was　continually　saying。　　I　became　at
  last　more　calm。　　My　wife　still　persisted　in　asking　me　the　cause　of
  my　late　paroxysm。　　It　is　hard　to　keep　a　secret　from　a　wife；
  especially　such　a　wife　as　mine；　so　I　told　my　wife　the　tale；　as　we
  sat　one　night　…　it　was　a　mid…winter　night　…　over　the　dying　brands
  of　our　hearth；　after　the　family　had　retired　to　rest；　her　hand
  locked　in　mine；　even　as　it　is　now。
  'I　thought　she　would　have　shrunk　from　me　with　horror；　but　she　did
  not；　her　hand；　it　is　true；　trembled　once　or　twice；　but　that　was
  all。　　At　last　she　gave　mine　a　gentle　pressure；　and；　looking　up　in
  my　face；　she　said　…　what　do　you　think　my　wife　said；　young　man？'
  'It　is　impossible　for　me　to　guess；'　said　I。
  〃Let　us　go　to　rest；　my　love；　your　fears　are　all　groundless。〃'
  CHAPTER　LXXVII
  Getting　late　…　Seven　years　old　…　Chastening　…　Go　forth　…　London
  Bridge　…　Same　eyes　…　Common　occurrence　…　Very　sleepy。
  'AND　so　I　still　say；'　said　Winifred；　sobbing。　　'Let　us　retire　to
  rest；　dear　husband；　your　fears　are　groundless。　　I　had　hoped　long
  since　that　your　affliction　would　have　passed　away；　and　I　still　hope
  that　it　eventually　will；　so　take　heart；　Peter；　and　let　us　retire　to
  rest；　for　it　is　getting　late。'
  'Rest！'　said　Peter；　'there　is　no　rest　for　the　wicked！'
  'We　are　all　wicked；'　said　Winifred；　'but　you　are　afraid　of　a
  shadow。　　How　often　have　I　told　you　that　the　sin　of　your　heart　is
  not　the　sin　against　the　Holy　Ghost：　　the　sin　of　your　heart　is　its
  natural　pride；　of　which　you　are　scarcely　aware；　to　keep　down　which
  God　in　His　mercy　permitted　you　to　be　terrified　with　the　idea　of
  having　committed　a　sin　which　you　never　committed。'
  'Then　you　will　still　maintain；'　said　Peter；　'that　I　never　committed
  the　sin　against　the　Holy　Spirit？'
  'I　will；'　said　Winifred；　'you　never　committed　it。　　How　should　a
  child　seven　years　old　commit　a　sin　like　that？'
  'Have　I　not　read　my　own　condemnation？'　said　Peter。　　'Did　not　the
  first　words　which　I　read　in　the　Holy　Scripture　condemn　me？　　〃He　who
  committeth　the　sin　against　the　Holy　Ghost　shall　never　enter　into
  the　kingdom　of　God。〃'
  'You　never　committed　it；'　said　Winifred。
  'But　the　words！　the　words！　the　words！'　said　Peter。
  'The　words　are　true　words；'　said　Winifred；　sobbing；　'but　they　were
  not　meant　for　you；　but　for　those　who　have　broken　their　profession；
  who；　having　embraced　the　cross；　have　receded　from　their　Master。'
  'And　what　sayst　thou　to　the　effect　which　the　words　produced　upon
  me？'　said　Peter。　　'Did　they　not　cause　me　to　run　wild　through　Wales
  for　years；　like　Merddin　Wyllt　of　yore；　thinkest　thou　that　I　opened
  the　book　at　that　particular　passage　by　chance？'
  'No；'　said　Winifred；　'not　by　chance；　it　was　the　hand　of　God
  directed　you；　doubtless　for　some　wise　purpose。　　You　had　become
  satisfied　with　yourself。　　The　Lord　wished　to　rouse　thee　from　thy
  state　of　carnal　security；　and　therefore　directed　your　eyes　to　that
  fearful　passage。'
  'Does　the　Lord　then　carry　out　His　designs　by　means　of　guile？'　said
  Peter　with　a　groan。　　'Is　not　the　Lord　true？　　Would　the　Lord　impress
  upon　me　that　I　had　committed　a　sin　of　which　I　am　guiltless？　　Hush；
  Winifred！　hush！　thou　knowest　that　I　have　committed　the　sin。'
  'Thou　hast　not　committed　it；'　said　Winifred；　sobbing　yet　more
  violently。　　'Were　they　my　last　words；　I　wo