第 105 节
作者:恐龙王      更新:2021-02-21 15:32      字数:9322
  an example of the great mercy of God。  I will now kneel down and
  pray for thee; my son。〃
  'He knelt down; and prayed long and fervently。  I remained standing
  for some time; at length I knelt down likewise。  I scarcely knew
  what he was saying; but when he concluded I said 〃Amen。〃
  'And when we had risen from our knees; the old man left me for a
  short time; and on his return led me into another room; where were
  two females; one was an elderly person; the wife of the old man; …
  the other was a young woman of very prepossessing appearance (hang
  not down thy head; Winifred); who I soon found was a distant
  relation of the old man; … both received me with great kindness;
  the old man having doubtless previously told them who I was。
  'I stayed several days in the good man's house。  I had still the
  greater portion of a small sum which I happened to have about me
  when I departed on my dolorous wandering; and with this I purchased
  clothes; and altered my appearance considerably。  On the evening of
  the second day my friend said; 〃I am going to preach; perhaps you
  will come and hear me。〃  I consented; and we all went; not to a
  church; but to the large building next the house; for the old man;
  though a clergyman; was not of the established persuasion; and
  there the old man mounted a pulpit; and began to preach。  〃Come
  unto me; all ye that labour and are heavy laden;〃 etc。 etc。; was
  his text。  His sermon was long; but I still bear the greater
  portion of it in my mind。
  'The substance of it was that Jesus was at all times ready to take
  upon Himself the burden of our sins; provided we came to Him with a
  humble and contrite spirit; and begged His help。  This doctrine was
  new to me; I had often been at church; but had never heard it
  preached before; at least so distinctly。  When he said that all men
  might be saved; I shook; for I expected he would add; all except
  those who had committed the mysterious sin; but no; all men were to
  be saved who with a humble and contrite spirit would come to Jesus;
  cast themselves at the foot of His cross; and accept pardon through
  the merits of His blood…shedding alone。  〃Therefore; my friends;〃
  said he; in conclusion; 〃despair not … however guilty you may be;
  despair not … however desperate your condition may seem;〃 said he;
  fixing his eyes upon me; 〃despair not。  There is nothing more
  foolish and more wicked than despair; over…weening confidence is
  not more foolish than despair; both are the favourite weapons of
  the enemy of souls。〃
  'This discourse gave rise in my mind to no slight perplexity。  I
  had read in the Scriptures that he who committeth a certain sin
  shall never be forgiven; and that there is no hope for him either
  in this world or the next。  And here was a man; a good man
  certainly; and one who; of necessity; was thoroughly acquainted
  with the Scriptures; who told me that any one might be forgiven;
  however wicked; who would only trust in Christ and in the merits of
  His blood…shedding。  Did I believe in Christ?  Ay; truly。  Was I
  willing to be saved by Christ?  Ay; truly。  Did I trust in Christ?
  I trusted that Christ would save every one but myself。  And why not
  myself? simply because the Scriptures had told me that he who has
  committed the sin against the Holy Ghost can never be saved; and I
  had committed the sin against the Holy Ghost; … perhaps the only
  one who ever had committed it。  How could I hope?  The Scriptures
  could not lie; and yet here was this good old man; profoundly
  versed in the Scriptures; who bade me hope; would he lie?  No。  But
  did the old man know my case?  Ah; no; he did not know my case! but
  yet he had bid me hope; whatever I had done; provided I would go to
  Jesus。  But how could I think of going to Jesus; when the
  Scriptures told me plainly that all would be useless?  I was
  perplexed; and yet a ray of hope began to dawn in my soul。  I
  thought of consulting the good man; but I was afraid he would drive
  away the small glimmer。  I was afraid he would say; 〃Oh yes; every
  one is to be saved; except a wretch like you; I was not aware
  before that there was anything so horrible; … begone!〃  Once or
  twice the old man questioned me on the subject of my misery; but I
  evaded him; once; indeed; when he looked particularly benevolent; I
  think I should have unbosomed myself to him; but we were
  interrupted。  He never pressed me much; perhaps he was delicate in
  probing my mind; as we were then of different persuasions。  Hence
  he advised me to seek the advice of some powerful minister in my
  own church; there were many such in it; he said。
  'I stayed several days in the family; during which time I more than
  once heard my venerable friend preach; each time he preached; he
  exhorted his hearers not to despair。  The whole family were kind to
  me; his wife frequently discoursed with me; and also the young
  person to whom I have already alluded。  It appeared to me that the
  latter took a peculiar interest in my fate。
  'At last my friend said to me; 〃It is now time thou shouldest
  return to thy mother and thy brother。〃  So I arose; and departed to
  my mother and my brother; and at my departure my old friend gave me
  his blessing; and his wife and the young person shed tears; the
  last especially。  And when my mother saw me; she shed tears; and
  fell on my neck and kissed me; and my brother took me by the hand
  and bade me welcome; and when our first emotions were subsided; my
  mother said; 〃I trust thou art come in a lucky hour。  A few weeks
  ago my cousin (whose favourite thou always wast) died and left thee
  his heir … left thee the goodly farm in which he lived。  I trust;
  my son; that thou wilt now settle; and be a comfort to me in my old
  days。〃  And I answered; 〃I will; if so please the Lord〃; and I said
  to myself; 〃God grant that this bequest be a token of the Lord's
  favour。〃
  'And in a few days I departed to take possession of my farm; it was
  about twenty miles from my mother's house; in a beautiful but
  rather wild district; I arrived at the fall of the leaf。  All day
  long I busied myself with my farm; and thus kept my mind employed。
  At night; however; I felt rather solitary; and I frequently wished
  for a companion。  Each night and morning I prayed fervently unto
  the Lord; for His hand had been very heavy upon me; and I feared
  Him。
  'There was one thing connected with my new abode which gave me
  considerable uneasiness … the want of spiritual instruction。  There
  was a church; indeed; close at hand; in which service was
  occasionally performed; but in so hurried and heartless a manner
  that I derived little benefit from it。  The clergyman to whom the
  benefice belonged was a valetudinarian; who passed his time in
  London; or at some watering…place; entrusting the care of his flock
  to the curate of a distant parish; who gave himself very little
  trouble about the matter。  Now I wanted every Sunday to hear from
  the pulpit words of consolation and encouragement; similar to those
  which I had heard uttered from the pulpit by my good and venerable
  friend; but I was debarred from this privilege。  At length; one day
  being in conversation with one of my labourers; a staid and serious
  man; I spoke to him of the matter which lay heavy upon my mind;
  whereupon; looking me wistfully in the face; he said; 〃Master; the
  want of religious instruction in my church was what drove me to the
  Methodists。〃  〃The Methodists;〃 said I; 〃are there any in these
  parts?〃  〃There is a chapel;〃 said he; 〃only half a mile distant;
  at which there are two services every Sunday; and other two during
  the week。〃  Now it happened that my venerable friend was of the
  Methodist persuasion; and when I heard the poor man talk in this
  manner; I said to him; 〃May I go with you next Sunday?〃  〃Why not?〃
  said he; so I went with the labourer on the ensuing Sabbath to the
  meeting of the Methodists。
  'I liked the preaching which I heard at the chapel very well;
  though it was not quite so comfortable as that of my old friend;
  the preacher being in some respects a different kind of man。  It;
  however; did me good; and I went again; and continued to do so;
  though I did not become a regular member of the body at that time。
  'I had now the benefit of religious instruction; and also to a
  certain extent of religious fellowship; for the preacher and
  various members of his flock frequently came to see me。  They were
  honest plain men; not exactly of the description which I wished
  for; but still good sort of people; and I was glad to see them。
  Once on a time; when some of them were with me; one of them
  inquired whether I was fervent in prayer。  〃Very fervent;〃 said I。
  〃And do you read the Scriptures often?〃 said he。  〃No;〃 said I。
  〃Why not?〃 said he。  〃Because I am afraid to see there my own
  condemnation。〃  They looked a