第 105 节
作者:
恐龙王 更新:2021-02-21 15:32 字数:9322
an example of the great mercy of God。 I will now kneel down and
pray for thee; my son。〃
'He knelt down; and prayed long and fervently。 I remained standing
for some time; at length I knelt down likewise。 I scarcely knew
what he was saying; but when he concluded I said 〃Amen。〃
'And when we had risen from our knees; the old man left me for a
short time; and on his return led me into another room; where were
two females; one was an elderly person; the wife of the old man; …
the other was a young woman of very prepossessing appearance (hang
not down thy head; Winifred); who I soon found was a distant
relation of the old man; … both received me with great kindness;
the old man having doubtless previously told them who I was。
'I stayed several days in the good man's house。 I had still the
greater portion of a small sum which I happened to have about me
when I departed on my dolorous wandering; and with this I purchased
clothes; and altered my appearance considerably。 On the evening of
the second day my friend said; 〃I am going to preach; perhaps you
will come and hear me。〃 I consented; and we all went; not to a
church; but to the large building next the house; for the old man;
though a clergyman; was not of the established persuasion; and
there the old man mounted a pulpit; and began to preach。 〃Come
unto me; all ye that labour and are heavy laden;〃 etc。 etc。; was
his text。 His sermon was long; but I still bear the greater
portion of it in my mind。
'The substance of it was that Jesus was at all times ready to take
upon Himself the burden of our sins; provided we came to Him with a
humble and contrite spirit; and begged His help。 This doctrine was
new to me; I had often been at church; but had never heard it
preached before; at least so distinctly。 When he said that all men
might be saved; I shook; for I expected he would add; all except
those who had committed the mysterious sin; but no; all men were to
be saved who with a humble and contrite spirit would come to Jesus;
cast themselves at the foot of His cross; and accept pardon through
the merits of His blood…shedding alone。 〃Therefore; my friends;〃
said he; in conclusion; 〃despair not … however guilty you may be;
despair not … however desperate your condition may seem;〃 said he;
fixing his eyes upon me; 〃despair not。 There is nothing more
foolish and more wicked than despair; over…weening confidence is
not more foolish than despair; both are the favourite weapons of
the enemy of souls。〃
'This discourse gave rise in my mind to no slight perplexity。 I
had read in the Scriptures that he who committeth a certain sin
shall never be forgiven; and that there is no hope for him either
in this world or the next。 And here was a man; a good man
certainly; and one who; of necessity; was thoroughly acquainted
with the Scriptures; who told me that any one might be forgiven;
however wicked; who would only trust in Christ and in the merits of
His blood…shedding。 Did I believe in Christ? Ay; truly。 Was I
willing to be saved by Christ? Ay; truly。 Did I trust in Christ?
I trusted that Christ would save every one but myself。 And why not
myself? simply because the Scriptures had told me that he who has
committed the sin against the Holy Ghost can never be saved; and I
had committed the sin against the Holy Ghost; … perhaps the only
one who ever had committed it。 How could I hope? The Scriptures
could not lie; and yet here was this good old man; profoundly
versed in the Scriptures; who bade me hope; would he lie? No。 But
did the old man know my case? Ah; no; he did not know my case! but
yet he had bid me hope; whatever I had done; provided I would go to
Jesus。 But how could I think of going to Jesus; when the
Scriptures told me plainly that all would be useless? I was
perplexed; and yet a ray of hope began to dawn in my soul。 I
thought of consulting the good man; but I was afraid he would drive
away the small glimmer。 I was afraid he would say; 〃Oh yes; every
one is to be saved; except a wretch like you; I was not aware
before that there was anything so horrible; … begone!〃 Once or
twice the old man questioned me on the subject of my misery; but I
evaded him; once; indeed; when he looked particularly benevolent; I
think I should have unbosomed myself to him; but we were
interrupted。 He never pressed me much; perhaps he was delicate in
probing my mind; as we were then of different persuasions。 Hence
he advised me to seek the advice of some powerful minister in my
own church; there were many such in it; he said。
'I stayed several days in the family; during which time I more than
once heard my venerable friend preach; each time he preached; he
exhorted his hearers not to despair。 The whole family were kind to
me; his wife frequently discoursed with me; and also the young
person to whom I have already alluded。 It appeared to me that the
latter took a peculiar interest in my fate。
'At last my friend said to me; 〃It is now time thou shouldest
return to thy mother and thy brother。〃 So I arose; and departed to
my mother and my brother; and at my departure my old friend gave me
his blessing; and his wife and the young person shed tears; the
last especially。 And when my mother saw me; she shed tears; and
fell on my neck and kissed me; and my brother took me by the hand
and bade me welcome; and when our first emotions were subsided; my
mother said; 〃I trust thou art come in a lucky hour。 A few weeks
ago my cousin (whose favourite thou always wast) died and left thee
his heir … left thee the goodly farm in which he lived。 I trust;
my son; that thou wilt now settle; and be a comfort to me in my old
days。〃 And I answered; 〃I will; if so please the Lord〃; and I said
to myself; 〃God grant that this bequest be a token of the Lord's
favour。〃
'And in a few days I departed to take possession of my farm; it was
about twenty miles from my mother's house; in a beautiful but
rather wild district; I arrived at the fall of the leaf。 All day
long I busied myself with my farm; and thus kept my mind employed。
At night; however; I felt rather solitary; and I frequently wished
for a companion。 Each night and morning I prayed fervently unto
the Lord; for His hand had been very heavy upon me; and I feared
Him。
'There was one thing connected with my new abode which gave me
considerable uneasiness … the want of spiritual instruction。 There
was a church; indeed; close at hand; in which service was
occasionally performed; but in so hurried and heartless a manner
that I derived little benefit from it。 The clergyman to whom the
benefice belonged was a valetudinarian; who passed his time in
London; or at some watering…place; entrusting the care of his flock
to the curate of a distant parish; who gave himself very little
trouble about the matter。 Now I wanted every Sunday to hear from
the pulpit words of consolation and encouragement; similar to those
which I had heard uttered from the pulpit by my good and venerable
friend; but I was debarred from this privilege。 At length; one day
being in conversation with one of my labourers; a staid and serious
man; I spoke to him of the matter which lay heavy upon my mind;
whereupon; looking me wistfully in the face; he said; 〃Master; the
want of religious instruction in my church was what drove me to the
Methodists。〃 〃The Methodists;〃 said I; 〃are there any in these
parts?〃 〃There is a chapel;〃 said he; 〃only half a mile distant;
at which there are two services every Sunday; and other two during
the week。〃 Now it happened that my venerable friend was of the
Methodist persuasion; and when I heard the poor man talk in this
manner; I said to him; 〃May I go with you next Sunday?〃 〃Why not?〃
said he; so I went with the labourer on the ensuing Sabbath to the
meeting of the Methodists。
'I liked the preaching which I heard at the chapel very well;
though it was not quite so comfortable as that of my old friend;
the preacher being in some respects a different kind of man。 It;
however; did me good; and I went again; and continued to do so;
though I did not become a regular member of the body at that time。
'I had now the benefit of religious instruction; and also to a
certain extent of religious fellowship; for the preacher and
various members of his flock frequently came to see me。 They were
honest plain men; not exactly of the description which I wished
for; but still good sort of people; and I was glad to see them。
Once on a time; when some of them were with me; one of them
inquired whether I was fervent in prayer。 〃Very fervent;〃 said I。
〃And do you read the Scriptures often?〃 said he。 〃No;〃 said I。
〃Why not?〃 said he。 〃Because I am afraid to see there my own
condemnation。〃 They looked a