第 39 节
作者:
绚烂冬季 更新:2021-02-21 15:23 字数:9322
〃In other words; when it comes to morals; you want to shirk。〃
French flushed quickly; but controlled himself。
〃Excuse me; Brown;〃 he said; in a quiet tone。 〃I came to talk this over with you as a friend; but if you do not want to〃
〃Old man; I apologize for the tone I used just now; but I foresee that this is going to be serious。 I can see as clearly as light what I ought to say to you now。 There is something in my heart that I have been wanting to say for months; but I hate to say it; and I won't say it now unless you tell me to。〃
The two men were standing face to face as if measuring each other's strength。
〃Go on;〃 said French at length; 〃what are you afraid of?〃 His tone was unfortunate。
〃Afraid;〃 said Brown quickly; 〃not of you; but of myself。〃 He paused a few moments; as if taking counsel with himself; then; with a sudden resolve; he spoke in tones quiet; deliberate; and almost stern。 〃First; be clear about this;〃 he said; 〃I stand ready to help you with Kalman to the limit of my power; and to assure you to the full my share of responsibility for his moral training。 Now then; what of your part in this?〃
〃Why; I〃
〃But wait; hear me out。 For good or for evil; you have that boy's life in your hands。 Did you ever notice how he rides;his style; I mean? It is yours。 How he walks? Like you。 His very tricks of speech are yours。 And how else could it be? He adores you; you know that。 He models himself after you。 And so; mark me; without either of you knowing it; YOU WILL MAKE HIM IN SPITE OF YOURSELF AND IN SPITE OF HIM。 And it is your fate to make him after your own type。 Wait; French; let me finish。〃 Brown's easy good nature was gone; his face was set and stern。 〃You ask me to teach him morals。 The fact is; we are both teaching him。 From whom; do you think; will he take his lesson? What a ghastly farce the thing is! Listen; while the teaching goes on。 'Kalman;' I say; 'don't drink whiskey; it is a beastly and degrading habit。' 'Fudge!' he says; 'Jack drinks whiskey; and so will I。' 'Kalman;' I urge; 'don't swear。' 'Rot;' says he; 'Jack swears。' 'Kalman; be a man; straight; self…controlled; honourable; unselfish。' The answer is; but no! the answer never will be;'Jack is a drunken; swearing; selfish; reckless man!' No; for he loves you。 But like you he will be; in spite of all I can say or do。 That is your curse for the life you are leading。 Responsibility? God help you。 Read your letter again。 That woman sees clearly。 It is God's truth。 Listen; 'The responsibility for what you make him you must take。 God puts it there; not I。' You may refuse this responsibility; you may be too weak; too wilful; too selfish to set upon your own wicked indulgence of a foolish appetite; but the responsibility is there; and no living man or woman can take it from you。〃
French stood silent for some moments。 〃Thank you;〃 he said; 〃you have set my sins before me; and I will not try to hide them; but by the Eternal; not for you or for any man; will I be anything but myself。〃
〃What kind of self?〃 enquired Brown。 〃Beast or man?〃
〃That is not the question;〃 said French hotly。 〃I will be no hypocrite; as you would have me be。〃
〃Jack French;〃 said Brown; 〃you know you are speaking a lie before God and man。〃
French stepped quickly towards him。
〃Brown; you will have to apologize;〃 he said in a low; tense voice; 〃and quick。〃
〃French; I will apologize if what I have said is not true。〃
〃I cannot discuss it with you; Brown;〃 said French; his voice thick with rage。 〃I allow no man to call me a liar; put up your hands。〃
〃If you are a man; French;〃 said Brown with equal calm; 〃give me a minute。 Read your letter again。 Does she ask you to be a hypocrite? Does she not; do I not; only ask you to be a man; and to act like a man?〃
〃It won't do; Brown。 It is past argument。 You gave me the lie。〃
〃French; I wish to apologize for what I said just now;〃 said Brown。 〃I said you knew you were speaking a lie。 I take that back; and apologize。 I cannot believe you knew。 All the same; what you said was not the truth。 No one asks you; nor does that letter ask you; to be a hypocrite。 You said I did。 That was not true。 Now; if you wish to slap my face; go on。〃
French stood motionless。 His rage well…nigh overpowered him; but he knew this man was speaking the truth。 For some moments they stood face to face。 Then; impulsively offering his hand; and with a quick change of voice; Brown said; 〃I am awfully sorry; French; let's forget it。〃
But ignoring the outstretched hand; French turned from him without a word; mounted his horse; and rode away。
Brown stood watching him until he was out of sight。 〃My God; forgive me;〃 he cried; 〃what a mess I made of that! I have lost him and the boy too;〃 and with that he passed into the woods; coming home to his wife and baby late at night; weary; spent; and too sad for speech or sleep。
CHAPTER XV
THE MAIDEN OF THE BROWN HAIR
Rumours of the westward march of civilization had floated from time to time up the country from the main line as far as the Crossing; and had penetrated even to the Night Hawk ranch; only to be allayed by succeeding rumours of postponement of the advance for another year。
It was Mackenzie who brought word of the appearance of the first bona fide scout of the advancing host。
〃There was a man with a bit flag over the Creek yonder;〃 he announced one spring evening; while the snow was still lying in the hollows; 〃and another man with a stick or something; and two or three behind him。〃
〃Ah; ha!〃 exclaimed French; 〃surveyors; no doubt; they have come at last。〃
〃And what will that be?〃 said Mackenzie anxiously。
〃The men who lay out the route for the railroad;〃 replied French。
Mackenzie looked glum。 〃And will they be putting a railroad across our ranch?〃 he asked indignantly。
〃Right across;〃 said French; 〃and just where it suits them。〃
〃Indeed; and it wouldn't be my land they would be putting that railroad over; I'll warrant ye。〃
〃You could not stop them; Mack;〃 said French; 〃they have got the whole Government behind them。〃
〃I would be putting some slugs into them; whateffer;〃 said Mackenzie。 〃There will be no room in the country any more; and no sleeping at night for the noise of them injins。〃
Mackenzie was right。 That surveyor's flag was the signal that waved out the old order and waved in the new。 The old free life; the only life Mackenzie knew; where each man's will was his law; and where law was enforced by the strength of a man's right hand; was gone forever from the plains。 Those great empty spaces of rolling prairie; swept by viewless winds; were to be filled up now with the abodes of men。 Mackenzie and his world must now disappear in the wake of the red man and the buffalo before the railroad and the settler。 To Jack French the invasion brought mingled feelings。 He hated to surrender the untrammelled; unconventional mode of life; for which twenty years ago he had left an ancient and; as it seemed to his adventurous spirit; a worn…out civilization; but he was quick to recognize; and in his heart was glad to welcome; a change that would mean new life and assured prosperity to Kalman。 whom he had come to love as a son。 To Kalman that surveyor's flag meant the opening up of a new world; a new life; rich in promise of adventure and achievement。 French noticed his glowing face and eyes。
〃Yes; Kalman; boy;〃 he said; 〃it will be a great thing for you; great for the country。 It means towns and settlements; markets and money; and all the rest。〃
〃We will have no trouble selling our potatoes and our oats now;〃 said the boy。
〃Not a bit;〃 said French; 〃we could sell ten times what we have to sell。〃
〃And why not get ten times the stuff?〃 cried the boy。
French shrugged his shoulders。 It was hard to throw off the old laissez faire of the pioneer。
〃All right; Kalman; you go on。 I will give you a free hand。 Mackenzie and I will back you up; only don't ask too much of us。 There will be hundreds of teams at work here next year。〃
〃One hundred teams!〃 exclaimed Kalman。 〃How much oats do you think they will need? One thousand bushels?〃
〃One thousand! yes; ten thousand; twenty thousand。〃
Kalman made a rapid calculation。
〃Why; that would mean three hundred acres of oats at least; and we have only twenty acres in our field。 Oh! Jack!〃 he continued; 〃let us get every horse and every man we can; and make ready for the oats。 Just think! one hundred acres of oats; five or six thousand bushels; perhaps more; besides the potatoes。〃
〃Oh; well; they won't be along to…day; Kalman; so keep cool。〃
〃But we will have to break this year for next;〃 said the boy; 〃and it will take us a long time to break one hundred acres。〃
〃That's so;〃 said Jack; 〃it will take all our forces hard at it all summer to get one hundred acres ready。〃
Eagerly the boy's mind sprang forward into plans for the summer's campaign。 His enthusiasm stirred French to something like vigorous action; and even waked old Mackenzie out of his aboriginal lethargy。 That very day Kalman rode down to Wakota to consult his friend Brown; upon whose guidance in all matters he had come more and more t