第 14 节
作者:
天马行空 更新:2021-02-21 14:56 字数:9322
apprehension lest it should begin to rain before we set out; it might have
rained all day; after we were once too far to turn back again; and welcome;
for aught they cared。
However; the cavalcade moved at length; every coachman being
accommodated with a hamper between his legs something larger than a
wheelbarrow; and the company being packed as closely as they possibly
could in the carriages; 'according;' as one married lady observed; 'to the
immemorial custom; which was half the diversion of gipsy parties。'
Thinking it very likely it might be (we have never been able to discover
the other half); we submitted to be stowed away with a cheerful aspect;
and were fortunate enough to occupy one corner of a coach in which were
one old lady; four young ladies; and the renowned Mr。 Balim the young
ladies' young gentleman。
We were no sooner fairly off; than the young ladies' young gentleman
hummed a fragment of an air; which induced a young lady to inquire
whether he had danced to that the night before。 'By Heaven; then; I did;'
replied the young gentleman; 'and with a lovely heiress; a superb creature;
with twenty thousand pounds。' 'You seem rather struck;' observed another
young lady。 ''Gad she was a sweet creature;' returned the young
gentleman; arranging his hair。 'Of course SHE was struck too?' inquired
the first young lady。 'How can you ask; love?' interposed the second;
'could she fail to be?' 'Well; honestly I think she was;' observed the
young gentleman。 At this point of the dialogue; the young lady who had
spoken first; and who sat on the young gentleman's right; struck him a
severe blow on the arm with a rosebud; and said he was a vain man …
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whereupon the young gentleman insisted on having the rosebud; and the
young lady appealing for help to the other young ladies; a charming
struggle ensued; terminating in the victory of the young gentleman; and
the capture of the rosebud。 This little skirmish over; the married lady;
who was the mother of the rosebud; smiled sweetly upon the young
gentleman; and accused him of being a flirt; the young gentleman pleading
not guilty; a most interesting discussion took place upon the important
point whether the young gentleman was a flirt or not; which being an
agreeable conversation of a light kind; lasted a considerable time。 At
length; a short silence occurring; the young ladies on either side of the
young gentleman fell suddenly fast asleep; and the young gentleman;
winking upon us to preserve silence; won a pair of gloves from each;
thereby causing them to wake with equal suddenness and to scream very
loud。 The lively conversation to which this pleasantry gave rise; lasted
for the remainder of the ride; and would have eked out a much longer one。
We dined rather more comfortably than people usually do under such
circumstances; nothing having been left behind but the cork…screw and the
bread。 The married gentlemen were unusually thirsty; which they
attributed to the heat of the weather; the little boys ate to inconvenience;
mammas were very jovial; and their daughters very fascinating; and the
attendants being well…behaved men; got exceedingly drunk at a respectful
distance。
We had our eye on Mr。 Balim at dinner…time; and perceived that he
flourished wonderfully; being still surrounded by a little group of young
ladies; who listened to him as an oracle; while he ate from their plates and
drank from their glasses in a manner truly captivating from its excessive
playfulness。 His conversation; too; was exceedingly brilliant。 In fact;
one elderly lady assured us; that in the course of a little lively
BADINAGE on the subject of ladies' dresses; he had evinced as much
knowledge as if he had been born and bred a milliner。
As such of the fat people who did not happen to fall asleep after dinner
entered upon a most vigorous game at ball; we slipped away alone into a
thicker part of the wood; hoping to fall in with Mr。 Balim; the greater part
of the young people having dropped off in twos and threes and the young
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ladies' young gentleman among them。 Nor were we disappointed; for we
had not walked far; when; peeping through the trees; we discovered him
before us; and truly it was a pleasant thing to contemplate his greatness。
The young ladies' young gentleman was seated upon the ground; at the
feet of a few young ladies who were reclining on a bank; he was so
profusely decked with scarfs; ribands; flowers; and other pretty spoils; that
he looked like a lamb … or perhaps a calf would be a better simile … adorned
for the sacrifice。 One young lady supported a parasol over his interesting
head; another held his hat; and a third his neck…cloth; which in romantic
fashion he had thrown off; the young gentleman himself; with his hand
upon his breast; and his face moulded into an expression of the most
honeyed sweetness; was warbling forth some choice specimens of vocal
music in praise of female loveliness; in a style so exquisitely perfect; that
we burst into an involuntary shout of laughter; and made a hasty retreat。
What charming fellows these young ladies' young gentlemen are!
Ducks; dears; loves; angels; are all terms inadequate to express their merit。
They are such amazingly; uncommonly; wonderfully; nice men。
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CONCLUSION
As we have placed before the young ladies so many specimens of
young gentlemen; and have also in the dedication of this volume given
them to understand how much we reverence and admire their numerous
virtues and perfections; as we have given them such strong reasons to treat
us with confidence; and to banish; in our case; all that reserve and distrust
of the male sex which; as a point of general behaviour; they cannot do
better than preserve and maintain … we say; as we have done all this; we
feel that now; when we have arrived at the close of our task; they may
naturally press upon us the inquiry; what particular description of young
gentlemen we can conscientiously recommend。
Here we are at a loss。 We look over our list; and can neither
recommend the bashful young gentleman; nor the out…and…out young
gentleman; nor the very friendly young gentleman; nor the military young
gentleman; nor the political young gentleman; nor the domestic young
gentleman; nor the censorious young gentleman; nor the funny young
gentleman; nor the theatrical young gentleman; nor the poetical young
gentleman; nor the throwing…off young gentleman; nor the young ladies'
young gentleman。
As there are some good points about many of them; which still are not
sufficiently numerous to render any one among them eligible; as a whole;
our respectful advice to the young ladies is; to seek for a young gentleman
who unites in himself the best qualities of all; and the worst weaknesses of
none; and to lead him forthwith to the hymeneal altar; whether he will or
no。 And to the young lady who secures him; we beg to tender one short
fragment of matrimonial advice; selected from many sound passages of a
similar tendency; to be found in a letter written by Dean Swift to a young
lady on her marriage。
'The grand affair of your life will be; to gain and preserve the esteem
of your husband。 Neither good…nature nor virtue will suffer him to
ESTEEM you against his judgment; and although he is not capable of
using you ill; yet you will in time gro