第 12 节
作者:
天马行空 更新:2021-02-21 14:56 字数:9322
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
storm; and when these gloomy objects fail to afford him inspiration; he
pours forth his soul in a touching address to a violet; or a plaintive lament
that he is no longer a child; but has gradually grown up。
The poetical young gentleman is fond of quoting passages from his
favourite authors; who are all of the gloomy and desponding school。 He
has a great deal to say too about the world; and is much given to opining;
especially if he has taken anything strong to drink; that there is nothing in
it worth living for。 He gives you to understand; however; that for the
sake of society; he means to bear his part in the tiresome play; manfully
resisting the gratification of his own strong desire to make a premature
exit; and consoles himself with the reflection; that immortality has some
chosen nook for himself and the other great spirits whom earth has chafed
and wearied。
When the poetical young gentleman makes use of adjectives; they are
all superlatives。 Everything is of the grandest; greatest; noblest;
mightiest; loftiest; or the lowest; meanest; obscurest; vilest; and most
pitiful。 He knows no medium: for enthusiasm is the soul of poetry; and
who so enthusiastic as a poetical young gentleman? 'Mr。 Milkwash;' says
a young lady as she unlocks her album to receive the young gentleman's
original impromptu contribution; 'how very silent you are! I think you
must be in love。' 'Love!' cries the poetical young gentleman; starting
from his seat by the fire and terrifying the cat who scampers off at full
speed; 'Love! that burning; consuming passion; that ardour of the soul; that
fierce glowing of the heart。 Love! The withering; blighting influence
of hope misplaced and affection slighted。 Love did you say! Ha! ha!
ha!'
With this; the poetical young gentleman laughs a laugh belonging only
to poets and Mr。 O。 Smith of the Adelphi Theatre; and sits down; pen in
hand; to throw off a page or two of verse in the biting; semi…atheistical
demoniac style; which; like the poetical young gentleman himself; is full
of sound and fury; signifying nothing。
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
THE 'THROWING…OFF' YOUNG
GENTLEMAN
There is a certain kind of impostor … a bragging; vaunting; puffing
young gentleman … against whom we are desirous to warn that fairer part
of the creation; to whom we more peculiarly devote these our labours。
And we are particularly induced to lay especial stress upon this division of
our subject; by a little dialogue we held some short time ago; with an
esteemed young lady of our acquaintance; touching a most gross specimen
of this class of men。 We had been urging all the absurdities of his conduct
and conversation; and dwelling upon the impossibilities he constantly
recounted … to which indeed we had not scrupled to prefix a certain hard
little word of one syllable and three letters … when our fair friend; unable to
maintain the contest any longer; reluctantly cried; 'Well; he certainly has a
habit of throwing…off; but then … ' What then? Throw him off yourself;
said we。 And so she did; but not at our instance; for other reasons
appeared; and it might have been better if she had done so at first。
The throwing…off young gentleman has so often a father possessed of
vast property in some remote district of Ireland; that we look with some
suspicion upon all young gentlemen who volunteer this description of
themselves。 The deceased grandfather of the throwing…off young
gentleman was a man of immense possessions; and untold wealth; the
throwing…off young gentleman remembers; as well as if it were only
yesterday; the deceased baronet's library; with its long rows of scarce and
valuable books in superbly embossed bindings; arranged in cases; reaching
from the lofty ceiling to the oaken floor; and the fine antique chairs and
tables; and the noble old castle of Ballykillbabaloo; with its splendid
prospect of hill and dale; and wood; and rich wild scenery; and the fine
hunting stables and the spacious court…yards; 'and … and … everything upon
the same magnificent scale;' says the throwing…off young gentleman;
'princely; quite princely。 Ah!' And he sighs as if mourning over the
fallen fortunes of his noble house。
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The throwing…off young gentleman is a universal genius; at walking;
running; rowing; swimming; and skating; he is unrivalled; at all games of
chance or skill; at hunting; shooting; fishing; riding; driving; or amateur
theatricals; no one can touch him … that is COULD not; because he gives
you carefully to understand; lest there should be any opportunity of testing
his skill; that he is quite out of practice just now; and has been for some
years。 If you mention any beautiful girl of your common acquaintance in
his hearing; the throwing…off young gentleman starts; smiles; and begs you
not to mind him; for it was quite involuntary: people do say indeed that
they were once engaged; but no … although she is a very fine girl; he was
so situated at that time that he couldn't possibly encourage the … 'but it's of
no use talking about it!' he adds; interrupting himself。 'She has got over
it now; and I firmly hope and trust is happy。' With this benevolent
aspiration he nods his head in a mysterious manner; and whistling the first
part of some popular air; thinks perhaps it will be better to change the
subject。
There is another great characteristic of the throwing…off young
gentleman; which is; that he 'happens to be acquainted' with a most
extraordinary variety of people in all parts of the world。 Thus in all
disputed questions; when the throwing…off young gentleman has no
argument to bring forward; he invariably happens to be acquainted with
some distant person; intimately connected with the subject; whose
testimony decides the point against you; to the great … may we say it … to
the great admiration of three young ladies out of every four; who consider
the throwing…off young gentleman a very highly…connected young man;
and a most charming person。
Sometimes the throwing…off young gentleman happens to look in upon
a little family circle of young ladies who are quietly spending the evening
together; and then indeed is he at the very height and summit of his glory;
for it is to be observed that he by no means shines to equal advantage in
the presence of men as in the society of over…credulous young ladies;
which is his proper element。 It is delightful to hear the number of pretty
things the throwing…off young gentleman gives utterance to; during tea;
and still more so to observe the ease with which; from long practice and
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study; he delicately blends one compliment to a lady with two for himself。
'Did you ever see a more lovely blue than this flower; Mr。 Caveton?' asks a
young lady who; truth to tell; is rather smitten with the throwing…off young
gentleman。 'Never;' he replies; bending over the object of admiration;
'never but in your eyes。' 'Oh; Mr。 Caveton;' cries the young lady; blushing
of course。 'Indeed I speak the truth;' replies the throwing…off young
gentleman; 'I never saw any approach to them。 I used to think my
cousin's blue eyes lovely; but they grow dim and colourless beside yours。'
'Oh! a beautiful cousin; Mr。 Caveton!' replies the young lady; with that
perfect artlessness which is the distinguishing characteristic of all young
ladies; 'an affair; o