第 8 节
作者:天马行空      更新:2021-02-21 14:56      字数:9322
  unmarried girls among them she is constantly vaunting the virtues of her
  son; hinting that she will be a very happy person who wins him; but that
  they   must   mind   their   P's   and   Q's;   for   he   is   very   particular;   and   terribly
  severe upon young ladies。            At this last caution the young ladies resident
  in the same row; who happen to be spending the evening there; put their
  pocket…handkerchiefs   before   their   mouths;   and   are   troubled   with   a   short
  cough; just then Felix knocks at the door; and his mother drawing the tea…
  table nearer the fire; calls out to him as he takes off his boots in the back
  parlour that he needn't mind coming in in his slippers; for there are only
  the two Miss Greys and Miss Thompson; and she is quite sure they will
  excuse HIM; and nodding to the two Miss Greys; she adds; in a whisper;
  that Julia Thompson is a great favourite with Felix; at which intelligence
  the short cough comes again; and Miss Thompson in particular is greatly
  troubled with it; till Felix coming in; very faint for want of his tea; changes
  the   subject   of   discourse;   and   enables   her   to   laugh   out   boldly   and   tell
  Amelia   Grey  not   to   be   so   foolish。    Here   they   all   three   laugh;   and   Mrs。
  Nixon says they are giddy girls; in which stage of the proceedings; Felix;
  who     has   by   this  time   refreshened     himself    with   the   grateful   herb   that
  'cheers but not inebriates;' removes his cup from his countenance and says
  with a knowing smile; that all girls are; whereat his admiring mamma pats
  him  on   the   back   and   tells him  not to be   sly;  which   calls   forth   a   general
  laugh from the young ladies; and another smile from Felix; who; thinking
  he looks very sly indeed; is perfectly satisfied。
  Tea being over; the young ladies resume their work; and Felix insists
  upon   holding   a   skein   of   silk   while   Miss   Thompson   winds   it   on   a   card。
  This   process having   been   performed   to the   satisfaction   of   all   parties;   he
  brings down his flute in compliance with a request from the youngest Miss
  Grey; and plays divers tunes out of a very small music…book till supper…
  time; when he is very facetious and talkative indeed。                 Finally; after half a
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  SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
  tumblerful   of   warm   sherry   and   water;   he   gallantly   puts   on   his   goloshes
  over his slippers; and telling Miss Thompson's servant to run on first and
  get   the   door   open;   escorts   that   young   lady   to   her   house;   five   doors   off:
  the Miss Greys who live in the next house but one stopping to peep with
  merry faces from their own door till he comes back again; when they call
  out   'Very   well;   Mr。   Felix;'   and   trip   into   the   passage   with   a   laugh   more
  musical than any flute that was ever played。
  Felix   is   rather   prim   in   his   appearance;   and   perhaps   a   little   priggish
  about   his   books   and   flute;   and   so   forth;   which   have   all   their   peculiar
  corners      of   peculiar     shelves    in   his   bedroom;       indeed     all  his   female
  acquaintance (and they are good judges) have long ago set him down as a
  thorough old bachelor。           He is a favourite with them however; in a certain
  way;     as    an   honest;     inoffensive;      kind…hearted       creature;     and    as   his
  peculiarities harm nobody; not even himself; we are induced to hope that
  many who are not personally acquainted with him will take our good word
  in   his   behalf;   and   be   content   to   leave   him   to   a   long   continuance   of   his
  harmless existence。
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  SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
  THE CENSORIOUS YOUNG
  GENTLEMAN
  There is an amiable kind of young gentleman going about in society;
  upon whom; after much experience of him; and considerable turning over
  of   the   subject   in  our   mind;   we    feel  it  our  duty   to  affix  the   above
  appellation。     Young ladies mildly call him a 'sarcastic' young gentleman;
  or   a   'severe'   young   gentleman。    We;   who   know   better;   beg   to   acquaint
  them with the fact; that he is merely a censorious young gentleman; and
  nothing else。
  The    censorious     young     gentleman     has   the   reputation    among     his
  familiars of a remarkably clever person; which he maintains by receiving
  all   intelligence    and    expressing     all  opinions    with    a  dubious     sneer;
  accompanied   with   a   half   smile;   expressive   of   anything   you   please   but
  good…humour。         This    sets   people    about   thinking    what    on   earth   the
  censorious      young    gentleman     means;     and   they   speedily   arrive   at  the
  conclusion that he means something very deep indeed; for they reason in
  this   way   …   'This   young   gentleman   looks   so   very   knowing   that   he   must
  mean something; and as I am by no means a dull individual; what a very
  deep meaning he must have if I can't find it out!'            It is extraordinary how
  soon   a   censorious   young   gentleman   may   make   a   reputation   in   his   own
  small   circle   if   he   bear   this   in   his   mind;   and   regulate   his   proceedings
  accordingly。
  As young ladies are generally … not curious; but laudably desirous to
  acquire information; the censorious young gentleman is much talked about
  among them; and many surmises are hazarded regarding him。                    'I wonder;'
  exclaims the eldest Miss Greenwood; laying down her work to turn up the
  lamp;   'I   wonder   whether   Mr。   Fairfax   will   ever   be   married。' 'Bless   me;
  dear;' cries Miss Marshall; 'what ever made you think of him?'                  'Really I
  hardly   know;'    replies   Miss   Greenwood;       'he   is  such  a  very   mysterious
  person;   that   I  often   wonder    about   him。'   'Well;   to   tell  you  the  truth;'
  replies Miss Marshall; 'and so do I。'         Here two other young ladies profess
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  that they are constantly doing the like; and all present appear in the same
  condition   except   one   young   lady;   who;   not   scrupling   to   state   that   she
  considers   Mr。   Fairfax   'a   horror;'   draws   down   all   the   opposition   of   the
  others; which having been expressed in a great many ejaculatory passages;
  such as 'Well; did I ever!' … and 'Lor; Emily; dear!' ma takes up the subject;
  and gravely states; that she must say she does not think Mr。 Fairfax by any
  means   a   horror;   but   rather   takes   him   to   be   a   young   man   of   very   great
  ability;   'and   I   am   quite   sure;'   adds   the   worthy   lady;   'he   always   means   a
  great deal more than he says。'
  The door opens at this point of the disclosure; and who of all people
  alive   walks   into   the   room;   but   the   very   Mr。   Fairfax;   who   has   been   the
  subject of conversation!          'Well; it really is curious;' cries ma; 'we were at
  that very moment talking about you。'                'You did me great honour;' replies
  Mr。 Fairfax; 'may I venture to ask what you were saying?'                       'Why; if you
  must     know;'    returns    the  eldest   girl;  'we   were    remarking      what    a  very
  mysterious man you are。'            'Ay; ay!' observes Mr。 Fairfax; 'Indeed!'             Now
  Mr。 Fairfax says this ay; ay; and indeed; which are slight words enough in
  themselves; with so very unfathomable an air; and accompanies them with
  such a very equivocal smile; that ma and the young ladies are more than
  ever convinced that he means an immensity; and so tell him he is a very
  dangerous man; and seems to be always thinking ill of somebody; which is
  precisely   the   sort   of   character   the   censorious   young   gentleman   is   most
  desirous      to  establish;    wherefore      he   says;    'Oh;   dear;   no;'   in  a   tone;
  obviously intended to mean; 'You have me there;' and which gives them to
  understand that they have hit the right nail on the very centre of its head。
  When      the   conversation      ranges    from    the   mystery     overhanging       the
  censorious young gentleman's behaviour; to the general topics of the day;
  he   sustains   his   character   to   admiration。      He   considers   the   new   tragedy
  well   enough   for   a   new   tragedy;   but   Lord   bless   us   …   well;   no   matter;   he
  could say a great deal on t