第 6 节
作者:
天马行空 更新:2021-02-21 14:56 字数:9320
tremble a little!
And then; at the Theatre at night; when the performances are by
command of Colonel Fitz…Sordust and the officers of the garrison … what a
splendid sight it is! How sternly the defenders of their country look
round the house as if in mute assurance to the audience; that they may
make themselves comfortable regarding any foreign invasion; for they (the
military young gentlemen) are keeping a sharp look…out; and are ready for
anything。 And what a contrast between them; and that stage…box full of
grey…headed officers with tokens of many battles about them; who have
nothing at all in common with the military young gentlemen; and who …
but for an old…fashioned kind of manly dignity in their looks and bearing …
might be common hard…working soldiers for anything they take the pains
to announce to the contrary!
Ah! here is a family just come in who recognise the flaxen…headed
young gentleman; and the flaxen…headed young gentleman recognises
them too; only he doesn't care to show it just now。 Very well done indeed!
He talks louder to the little group of military young gentlemen who are
standing by him; and coughs to induce some ladies in the next box but one
to look round; in order that their faces may undergo the same ordeal of
criticism to which they have subjected; in not a wholly inaudible tone; the
majority of the female portion of the audience。 Oh! a gentleman in the
same box looks round as if he were disposed to resent this as an
impertinence; and the flaxen…headed young gentleman sees his friends at
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once; and hurries away to them with the most charming cordiality。
Three young ladies; one young man; and the mamma of the party;
receive the military young gentleman with great warmth and politeness;
and in five minutes afterwards the military young gentleman; stimulated
by the mamma; introduces the two other military young gentlemen with
whom he was walking in the morning; who take their seats behind the
young ladies and commence conversation; whereat the mamma bestows a
triumphant bow upon a rival mamma; who has not succeeded in decoying
any military young gentlemen; and prepares to consider her visitors from
that moment three of the most elegant and superior young gentlemen in
the whole world。
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THE POLITICAL YOUNG
GENTLEMAN
Once upon a time … NOT in the days when pigs drank wine; but in a
more recent period of our history … it was customary to banish politics
when ladies were present。 If this usage still prevailed; we should have
had no chapter for political young gentlemen; for ladies would have
neither known nor cared what kind of monster a political young gentleman
was。 But as this good custom in common with many others has 'gone
out;' and left no word when it is likely to be home again; as political young
ladies are by no means rare; and political young gentlemen the very
reverse of scarce; we are bound in the strict discharge of our most
responsible duty not to neglect this natural division of our subject。
If the political young gentleman be resident in a country town (and
there ARE political young gentlemen in country towns sometimes); he is
wholly absorbed in his politics; as a pair of purple spectacles communicate
the same uniform tint to all objects near and remote; so the political
glasses; with which the young gentleman assists his mental vision; give to
everything the hue and tinge of party feeling。 The political young
gentleman would as soon think of being struck with the beauty of a young
lady in the opposite interest; as he would dream of marrying his sister to
the opposite member。
If the political young gentleman be a Conservative; he has usually
some vague ideas about Ireland and the Pope which he cannot very clearly
explain; but which he knows are the right sort of thing; and not to be very
easily got over by the other side。 He has also some choice sentences
regarding church and state; culled from the banners in use at the last
election; with which he intersperses his conversation at intervals with
surprising effect。 But his great topic is the constitution; upon which he
will declaim; by the hour together; with much heat and fury; not that he
has any particular information on the subject; but because he knows that
the constitution is somehow church and state; and church and state
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somehow the constitution; and that the fellows on the other side say it isn't;
which is quite a sufficient reason for him to say it is; and to stick to it。
Perhaps his greatest topic of all; though; is the people。 If a fight takes
place in a populous town; in which many noses are broken; and a few
windows; the young gentleman throws down the newspaper with a
triumphant air; and exclaims; 'Here's your precious people!' If half…a…
dozen boys run across the course at race time; when it ought to be kept
clear; the young gentleman looks indignantly round; and begs you to
observe the conduct of the people; if the gallery demand a hornpipe
between the play and the afterpiece; the same young gentleman cries 'No'
and 'Shame' till he is hoarse; and then inquires with a sneer what you think
of popular moderation NOW; in short; the people form a never…failing
theme for him; and when the attorney; on the side of his candidate; dwells
upon it with great power of eloquence at election time; as he never fails to
do; the young gentleman and his friends; and the body they head; cheer
with great violence against THE OTHER PEOPLE; with whom; of course;
they have no possible connexion。 In much the same manner the audience
at a theatre never fail to be highly amused with any jokes at the expense of
the public … always laughing heartily at some other public; and never at
themselves。
If the political young gentleman be a Radical; he is usually a very
profound person indeed; having great store of theoretical questions to put
to you; with an infinite variety of possible cases and logical deductions
therefrom。 If he be of the utilitarian school; too; which is more than
probable; he is particularly pleasant company; having many ingenious
remarks to offer upon the voluntary principle and various cheerful
disquisitions connected with the population of the country; the position of
Great Britain in the scale of nations; and the balance of power。 Then he
is exceedingly well versed in all doctrines of political economy as laid
down in the newspapers; and knows a great many parliamentary speeches
by heart; nay; he has a small stock of aphorisms; none of them exceeding a
couple of lines in length; which will settle the toughest question and leave
you nothing to say。 He gives all the young ladies to understand; that
Miss Martineau is the greatest woman that ever lived; and when they
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praise the good looks of Mr。 Hawkins the new member; says he's very well
for a representative; all things considered; but he wants a little calling to
account; and he is more than half afraid it will be necessary to bring him
down on his knees for that vote on the miscellaneous estimates。 At this;
the young ladies express much wonderment; and say surely a Member of
Parliament is not to be brought upon his knees so easily; in reply to which