第 4 节
作者:天马行空      更新:2021-02-21 14:56      字数:9322
  fireplace; and gave us to understand that it was Mr。 Mincin; of whom he
  had   spoken。    It   required   no   great   penetration   on   our   part   to   discover   at
  once     that  Mr。   Mincin    was    in  every   respect   a  very   friendly    young
  gentleman。
  'I am delighted;' said Mincin; hastily advancing; and pressing our hand
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  warmly   between   both   of   his;   'I   am   delighted;   I   am   sure;   to   make   your
  acquaintance … (here he smiled) … very much delighted indeed … (here he
  exhibited a little emotion) … I assure you that I have looked forward to it
  anxiously for a very long time:' here he released our hands; and rubbing
  his own; observed; that the day was severe; but that he was delighted to
  perceive from our appearance that it agreed with us wonderfully; and then
  went on to observe; that; notwithstanding the coldness of the weather; he
  had that morning seen in the paper an exceedingly curious paragraph; to
  the effect; that there was now in the garden of Mr。 Wilkins of Chichester; a
  pumpkin;  measuring   four   feet in height;  and  eleven   feet  seven inches   in
  circumference;   which   he   looked   upon   as   a   very   extraordinary   piece   of
  intelligence。      We ventured to remark; that we had a dim recollection of
  having   once   or   twice   before   observed   a   similar   paragraph   in   the   public
  prints; upon which Mr。 Mincin took us confidentially by the button; and
  said;   Exactly;   exactly;   to   be   sure;   we   were   very   right;   and   he   wondered
  what   the   editors   meant   by   putting   in   such   things。    Who   the   deuce;   he
  should like to know; did they suppose cared about them? that struck him as
  being the best of it。
  The lady of the house appeared shortly afterwards; and Mr。 Mincin's
  friendliness;     as   will   readily   be   supposed;      suffered    no   diminution      in
  consequence; he exerted much strength and skill in wheeling a large easy…
  chair   up   to   the   fire;   and the   lady  being seated in   it;   carefully  closed   the
  door; stirred the fire; and looked to the windows to see that they admitted
  no air; having satisfied himself upon all these points; he expressed himself
  quite easy in his mind; and begged to know how she found herself to…day。
  Upon   the   lady's   replying   very  well;   Mr。   Mincin   (who   it   appeared   was   a
  medical   gentleman)   offered   some   general   remarks   upon   the   nature   and
  treatment of colds in the head; which occupied us agreeably until dinner…
  time。    During the meal; he devoted himself to complimenting everybody;
  not    forgetting    himself;     so   that  we    were    an   uncommonly         agreeable
  quartette。
  'I'll tell you what; Capper;' said Mr。 Mincin to our host; as he closed
  the room door after the lady had retired; 'you have very great reason to be
  fond of   your   wife。     Sweet   woman;  Mrs。 Capper;  sir!'           'Nay;  Mincin   …   I
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  beg;'   interposed   the   host;   as   we   were   about   to   reply   that   Mrs。   Capper
  unquestionably was particularly sweet。 'Pray; Mincin; don't。'                 'Why not?'
  exclaimed Mr。 Mincin; 'why not? Why should you feel any delicacy before
  your old friend … OUR old friend; if I may be allowed to call you so; sir;
  why should   you;  I   ask?'      We   of   course   wished   to know  why  he   should
  also; upon which our friend admitted that Mrs。 Capper WAS a very sweet
  woman;   at   which   admission   Mr。        Mincin   cried   'Bravo!'   and   begged     to
  propose Mrs。 Capper with heartfelt enthusiasm; whereupon our host said;
  'Thank   you;   Mincin;'   with   deep   feeling;   and   gave   us;   in   a   low   voice;   to
  understand; that Mincin had saved Mrs。 Capper's cousin's life no less than
  fourteen   times   in   a   year   and   a   half;   which   he   considered   no   common
  circumstance … an opinion to which we most cordially subscribed。
  Now that we three were left to entertain ourselves with conversation;
  Mr。 Mincin's extreme friendliness became every moment more apparent;
  he was so amazingly friendly; indeed; that it was impossible to talk about
  anything in which he had not the chief concern。                We happened to allude
  to   some   affairs   in   which   our   friend   and   we   had   been   mutually   engaged
  nearly fourteen years before; when Mr。 Mincin was all at once reminded of
  a   joke   which    our   friend   had   made    on  that   day   four  years;   which    he
  positively must insist upon telling … and which he did tell accordingly; with
  many pleasant recollections of what he said; and what Mrs。 Capper said;
  and how he well remembered that they had been to the play with orders on
  the    very   night    previous;    and   had    seen   Romeo      and   Juliet;   and   the
  pantomime; and how Mrs。 Capper being faint had been led into the lobby;
  where she smiled; said it was nothing after all; and went back again; with
  many other interesting and absorbing particulars: after which the friendly
  young gentleman went on to assure us; that our friend had experienced a
  marvellously   prophetic   opinion   of   that   same   pantomime;   which   was   of
  such an admirable kind; that two morning papers took the same view next
  day:    to this our friend replied; with a little triumph; that in that instance
  he had some reason to think he had been correct; which gave the friendly
  young gentleman occasion to believe that our friend was always correct;
  and so we went on; until our friend; filling a bumper; said he must drink
  one   glass   to   his   dear   friend   Mincin;   than   whom   he   would   say   no   man
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  saved the  lives of   his acquaintances   more;  or had   a more  friendly  heart。
  Finally; our friend having emptied his glass; said; 'God bless you; Mincin;'
  … and Mr。 Mincin and he shook hands across the table with much affection
  and earnestness。
  But great as the friendly  young gentleman is; in a limited scene like
  this; he plays the same part on a larger scale with increased ECLAT。                     Mr。
  Mincin   is   invited   to   an   evening   party  with   his   dear   friends   the   Martins;
  where   he   meets   his   dear   friends   the   Cappers;   and   his   dear   friends   the
  Watsons; and a hundred other dear friends too numerous to mention。                        He
  is   as  much     at  home    with   the   Martins    as  with    the  Cappers;     but   how
  exquisitely   he   balances   his   attentions;   and   divides   them   among   his   dear
  friends!     If he flirts with one of the Miss Watsons; he has one little Martin
  on the sofa pulling his hair; and the other little Martin on the carpet riding
  on his foot。 He carries Mrs。 Watson down to supper on one arm; and Miss
  Martin on the other; and takes wine so judiciously; and in such exact order;
  that it is impossible for the most punctilious old lady to consider herself
  neglected。      If   any   young    lady;   being   prevailed     upon   to  sing;   become
  nervous afterwards; Mr。 Mincin leads her tenderly into the next room; and
  restores   her   with   port   wine;   which   she   must   take   medicinally。       If   any
  gentleman be standing by the piano during the progress of the ballad; Mr。
  Mincin   seizes   him   by   the   arm   at   one   point   of   the   melody;   and   softly
  beating time the while with his head; expresses in dumb show his intense
  perception of the delicacy of the passage。              If anybody's self…love is to be
  flattered; Mr。 Mincin is at hand。          If anybody's overweening vanity is to be
  pampered;   Mr。   Mincin   will   surfeit   it。     What   wonder   that   people   of   all
  stations and ages recognise Mr。 Mincin's friendliness; that he is universally
  allowed   to   be   handsome   as   amiable;   that   mothers   think   him   an   oracle;
  daughters a dear; brothers a beau; and fathers a wonder!                  And who would
  not have the reputation of the very friendly young gentleman?
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  THE MILITARY YOUNG
  GENTLEMAN
  We are rather at a loss to imagine how it has come to pass that military
  young gentlemen have obtained so much favour in the eyes of the young
  ladies of this kingdom。        We cannot think so lightly of them as to suppo