第 18 节
作者:
疯狂热线 更新:2021-02-21 14:15 字数:9321
would fain commend her to God。 He comes before her and kneels
down; weeping; so that he moistens with his tears all his tunic
and his ermine; and he bends his eyes to the ground; for he dares
not look straight in front of him; just as if he has committed
some wrong and crime towards her; and now shows by his mien that
he has shame for it。 And Fenice; who beholds him timidly and
shyly; knows not what matter brings him; and she has said to him
in some distress: 〃Friend; fair sir; rise; sit by my side; weep
no more and tell me your pleasure。〃 〃Lady! What shall I say? What
conceal? I seek your permission to depart。〃 〃Depart? Why?〃
〃Lady! I must go away to Britain。〃 〃Tell me; then; on what quest;
before I give you permission。〃 〃Lady; my father; when he died and
departed this life; prayed me on no account to fail to go to
Britain as soon as I should be a knight。 For nothing in the world
would I neglect his command。 It will behove me not to play the
laggard as I go thither。 It is a very long journey from here to
Greece; and if I were to go thither the journey from
Constantinople to Britain would be very long for me。 But it is
meet that I take leave of you as being the lady whose I am
wholly。〃 Many hidden and secret sighs and sobs had he made on
setting out; but no one had eyes so wide open or such good
hearing as to be able to perceive for a certainty from hearing or
sight; that there was love between the twain。 Cliges; grievous
though it be to him; departs as soon as it is allowed him。 He
goes away lost in thought; lost in thought remains the emperor
and many another; but Fenice is the most pensive of all: she
discovers neither bottom nor bound to the thought with which she
is filled; so greatly does it overflow and multiply in her。 Full
of thought she has come to Greece: there was she held in great
honour as lady and empress; but her heart and spirit are with
Cliges wherever he turns; nor ever seeks she that her heart may
return to her unless he bring it back to her; he who is dying of
the malady with which he has slain her。 And if he recovers; she
will recover; never will he pay dear for it unless she too pay
dear。 Her malady appears in her complexion; for much has she
changed and pale has she grown。 The fresh; clear; pure hue that
Nature had bestowed has wholly deserted her face。 Often she
weeps; often sighs: little recks she of her empire and of the
wealth she has。 She has always in her memory the hour that Cliges
departed; the farewell that he took of her; how he changed
countenance; how he blanched; his tears and his mien; for he came
to weep before her; humble; lowly; and on his knees; as if he
must needs worship her。 All this is pleasant and sweet for her to
recall and to retrace。 Then to provide herself with a luscious
morsel; she takes on her tongue in lieu of spice a sweet word;
and for all Greece she would not wish that he who said that word
should; in the sense in which she took it; have intended deceit;
for she lives on no other dainty nor does aught else please her。
This word alone sustains and feeds her and soothes for her all
her suffering。 She seeks not to feed herself or quench her thirst
with any other meat or drink; for when it came to the parting;
Cliges said that he was 〃wholly hers〃。 This word is so sweet and
good to her; that from the tongue it goes to her heart; and she
stores it in her heart as well as in her mouth; that she may be
the surer of it。 She dares not hide this treasure behind any
other lock; and she would never be able to store it elsewhere so
well as in her heart。 In no wise will she ever take it thence so
much she fears thieves and robbers; but it is without reason that
this fear comes to her; and without reason that she fears birds
of prey; for this possession is immovable; rather is it like a
building which cannot be destroyed by flood or by fire; and which
will never move from its place。 But this she knows not; and hence
she gives herself agony and pain to seek out and learn something
on which she can lay hold; for in divers fashions does she
explain it。 She holds debate within herself; and makes such
replies as these: 〃With what intention did Cliges say to me 'I am
wholly yours' if love did not cause him to say it? With what
power of mine can I sway him; that he should esteem me so highly
as to make me his lady? Is he not fairer than I; of much nobler
birth than I? I see nought but his love that can bestow on me
this gift。 From my own case; for I cannot evade the scrutiny; I
will prove; that if he had not loved me he would never have
called himself wholly mine; for just as I could not be wholly
his; nor could in honour say so if love had not drawn me to him;
so Cliges; on his side; could not in any wise have said that he
was wholly mine if love has him not in his bonds。 For if he loves
me not; he fears me not。 Love; which gives me wholly to him;
perhaps ; gives him wholly to me; but this thought quite dismays
me; that the phrase is one in common use and I may easily be
deceived; for many a man there is who in flattery says; even to
strangers: 'I am quite at your service; I; and whatsoever I
have。' And such men are more mocking than jays。 So I know not
what to think; for it might well be that thus he spake to flatter
me。 But I saw him change colour and weep right piteously。 To my
mind his tears; his shamefaced and cast…down countenance; did not
come from deceit; no deceit or trickery was there。 The eyes from
which I saw the tears fall did not lie to me。 Signs enow could I
see there of love if I know aught of the matter。 Yea! I grant
that evil was the hour in which I thought it。 Evil was the hour
that I learnt it; and stored it in my heart; for a very great
misfortune has happed to me from it。 A misfortune? Truly; by my
faith! I am dead; since I see not him who has flattered and
cajoled me so much that he has robbed me of my heart。 Through his
deceit and smooth words; my heart is quitting its lodging and
will not stay with me; so much it hates my dwelling and my manor。
Faith! then; he who has my heart in his keeping has dealt ill
with me。 He who robs me and takes away what is mine; loves me
not; I know it well。 I know it? Why then did he weep? Why? It was
not for nothing; for he had reason enow。 I ought to apply nought
of it to myself because a man's sorrow is very great at parting
from those whom he loves and knows。 I marvel not that he had
grief and sorrow; and that he wept when he left his
acquaintances。 But he who gave him this counsel to go and stay in
Britain could have found no better means of wounding me to the
heart。 One who loses his heart is wounded to the heart。 He who
deserves sorrow ought to have it; but I never deserved it。 Alas!
Unhappy that I am! Why; then; has Cliges slain me without any
fault of mine? But in vain do I reproach him; for I have no
grounds for this reproach。 Cliges would never; never; have
forsaken meI know this wellif his heart had been in like case
with mine。 In like case I think it is not。 And if my heart has
joined itself to his heart; never will it leave it; never will
his go whither without mine; for mine follows him in secret so
close is the comradeship that they have formed。 But to tell the
truth the two hearts are very different and contrary。 How are
they different and contrary? His is lord; and mine is slave; and
the slave; even against his own will; must do what is for his
lord's good and leave out of sight all else。 But what matters it
to me? He cares nought for my heart or for my service。 This
division grieves me much; for thus the one heart is lord of the
two。 Why cannot mine; all alone; avail as much as his with him?
Thus the two would have been of equal strength。 My heart is a
prisoner; for it cannot move unless his moves。 And if his wanders
or tarries; mine ever prepares to follow and go after him。 God!
Why are not our bodies so near that I could in some way have
fetched my heart back? Have fetched it back? Poor fool! If I were
to take it from where it is lodged so comfortably; I might kill
it by so doing。 Let it stay there。 Never do I seek to remove it;
rather do I will that it stay with its lord until pity for it
come to him; for rather there than here will he be bound to have
mercy on his servant because the two hearts are in a strange
land。 If my heart knows how to serve up flattery as one is bound
to serve it up at court; it will be rich before it returns。 He
who wishes to be on good terms with his lord and to sit beside
him on his right; as is now the use and custom; must feign to
pluck the feather from his lord's head; even when there is no
feather there。 But here we see an evil trait: when he flatters
him to his face; and yet his lord has in his heart either
baseness or villainy; never will he be so courteous as to tell
him the truth; rather he makes him think and believe that no one
could be a match for him in prowess or in knowledge; and the lord
thinks that the courtier is telling the truth。 He who believes
another anent some quality which he does not possess knows
himself ill; for even if he is faithless and stubborn; base and
as cowardly as a hare; niggardly and foolish and malformed;
worthless