第 3 节
作者:
疯狂热线 更新:2021-02-21 14:15 字数:9322
England; who may keep and maintain it in peace。 By the Council it
was with one consent entrusted; as I think; to Count Engres of
Windsor; for till then they deemed no baron more loyal in all the
king's land。 When this man had the land in his power; King Arthur
and the queen and her ladies set out on the morrow。 In Brittany
folk hear tell that the king and his barons are coming: the
Bretons rejoice greatly thereat。
Into the ship in which the king crossed entered neither youth nor
maiden save Alexander alone; and the queen of a truth brought
thither Soredamors; a lady who scorned Love。 Never had she heard
tell of a man whom she could deign to love however much beauty
prowess dominion or high rank he had。 And yet the damsel was so
winsome and fair that she might well have known Love if it had
pleased her to turn her mind to it; but never had she willed to
bend her mind thereto。 Now will Love make her sorrowful; and Love
thinks to avenge himself right well for the great pride and
resistance which she has always shown to him。 Right well has Love
aimed; for he has stricken her in the heart with his arrow。 Oft
she grows pale; oft the beads of sweat break out; and in spite of
herself she must love。 Scarce can she refrain from looking
towards Alexander; but she must needs guard herself against my
Lord Gawain her brother。 Dearly does she buy and pay for her
great pride and her disdain。 Love has heated for her a bath which
mightily inflames and enkindles her。 Now is he kind to her; now
cruel; now she wants him; and now she rejects him。 She accuses
her eyes of treachery and says: 〃Eyes; you have betrayed me。
Through you has my heart which was wont to be faithful conceived
hatred for me。 Now does what I see bring grief。 Grief? Nay; in
truth; but rather pleasure。 And if I see aught that grieves me;
still have I not my eyes under my own sway? My strength must
indeed have failed me; and I must esteem myself but lightly if I
cannot control my eyes and make them look elsewhere。 By so doing
I shall be able to guard myself right well from Love; who wishes
to be my master。 What the eye sees not the heart does not lament。
If I do not see him there will be no pain。 He does not entreat or
seek me: if he had loved me he would have sought me。 And since he
neither loves nor esteems me; shall I love him if he loves me
not? If his beauty draws my eyes; and my eyes obey the spell;
shall I for that say I love him? Nay; for that would be a lie。 By
drawing my eyes he has done me no wrong of which I can complain;
and I can bring no charge at all against him。 One cannot love
with the eyes。 And what wrong; then; have my eyes done to me if
they gaze on what I will to look at? What fault and wrong do they
commit? Ought I to blame them? Nay。 Whom; then? Myself; who have
them in my keeping? My eye looks on nought unless it pleases and
delights my heart。 My heart could not wish for aught that would
make me sorrowful。 It is my heart's will that makes me sorrow。
Sorrow? Faith; then; am I mad? since through my heart I desire
that which makes me mad。 I ought ; indeed; if I can to rid myself
of a will whence grief may come to me。 If I can? Fool; what have
I said? Then were I weak indeed if I had no power over myself。
Does Love think to put me in the way which is wont to mislead
other folk? Thus may he lead others; but I am not his at all。
Never shall I be so; never was I so; never shall I desire his
further acquaintance。〃 Thus she disputes with herself; one hour
loves and another hates。 She is in such doubt that she does not
know which side to take。 She thinks she is defending herself
against Love; but she is in no need of defence。 God! Why does she
not know that the thoughts of Alexander; on his side; are
directed towards her? Love deals out to them impartially such a
portion as is meet for each。 He gives to them many a reason and
ground that the one should love and desire the other。 This love
would have been loyal and right if the one had known what was the
will of the other; but he does not know what she desires; nor
she; for what he is lamenting。 The queen watches them and sees
the one and the other often lose colour and grow pale and sigh
and shudder; but she knows not why they do it unless it be on
account of the sea on which they are sailing。 Perhaps; indeed;
she would have perceived it if the sea had not misled her; but it
is the sea which baffles and deceives her so that amid the
sea…sickness she sees not the heart…sickness。 For they are at
sea; and heart…sickness is the cause of their plight; and
heart…bitterness is the cause of the malady that grips them; but
of these three the queen can only blame the sea; for
heart…sickness and heart…bitterness lay the blame on the
sea…sickness; and because of the third the two who are guilty get
off scot…free。 He who is guiltless of fault or wrong often pays
dear for the sin of another。 Thus the queen violently accuses the
sea and blames it; but wrongly is the blame laid on the sea; for
the sea has done therein no wrong。 Much sorrow has Soredamors
borne ere the ship has come to port。 The king's coming is noised
abroad; for the Bretons had great joy thereof and served him
right willingly as their lawful lord。 I seek not to speak more at
length of King Arthur at this time: rather shall ye hear me tell
how Love torments the two lovers against whom he has taken the
field。
Alexander loves and desires her who is sighing for his love; but
he knows not; and will not know aught of this until he shall have
suffered many an ill and many a grief。 For love of her he serves
the queen and the ladies of her chamber; but he does not dare to
speak to or address her who is most in his mind。 If she had dared
to maintain against him the right which she thinks is hers in the
matter; willingly would he have told him of it; but she neither
dares nor ought to do so。 And the fact that the one sees the
other; and that they dare not speak or act; turns to great
adversity for them; and love grows thereby and burns。 But it is
the custom of all lovers that they willingly feed their eyes on
looks if they can do no better; and think that because the source
whence their love buds and grows delights them therefore it must
help their case; whereas it injures them: just as the man who
approaches and comes close to the fire burns himself more than
the man who draws back from it。 Their love grows and increases
continually; but the one feels shame before the other; and each
conceals and hides this love so that neither flame nor smoke is
seen from the gleed beneath the ashes。 But the heat is none the
less for that; rather the heat lasts longer below the gleed than
above it。 Both the lovers are in very great anguish; for in order
that their complaint may not be known or perceived; each must
deceive all men by false pretence; but in the night great is the
plaint which each makes in solitude。
First will I tell you of Alexander: how he complains and laments。
Love brings before his mind the lady for whose sake he feels such
Sorrow; for she has robbed him of his heart; and will not let him
rest in his bed; so much it delights him to recall the beauty and
the mien of her as to whom he dare not hope that ever joy of her
may fall to his lot。 〃I may hold myself a fool;〃 quoth he。 〃A
fool? Truly am I a fool; since I do not dare to say what I think;
for quickly would it turn to my bane。 I have set my thought on
folly。 Then is it not better for me to meditate in silence than
to get myself dubbed a fool? Never shall my desire be known。 And
shall I hide the cause of my grief; and not dare to seek help or
succour for my sorrows? He who is conscious of weakness is a fool
if he does not seek that by which he may have health if he can
find it anywhere; but many a one thinks to gain his own advantage
and to win what he desires; who pursues that whereof he sorrows
later。 And why should he go to seek advice when he does not
expect to find health? That were a vain toil! I feel my own ill
so heavy a burden that never shall I find healing for it by
medicine or by potion or by herb or by root。 There is not a
remedy for every ill: mine is so rooted that it cannot be cured。
Cannot? Methinks I have lied。 As soon as I first felt this evil;
if I had dared to reveal and to tell it; I could have spoken to a
leech; who could have helped me in the whole matter; but it is
very grievous for me to speak out。 Perhaps they would not deign
to listen and would refuse to accept a fee。 No wonder is it then
if I am dismayed; for I have a great ill; and yet I do not know
what ill it is which sways me nor do I know whence comes this
pain。 I do not know? Yes; indeed; I think I know; Love makes me
feel this evil。 How? Does Love; then; know how to do evil? Is he
not kind and debonair? I thought that there would have been
nought in Love which was not good; but I have found him very
malicious。 He who has not put him to the test knows not with what
games Love meddles。 He is a fool who goes to meet him; for always
he wishes to burden his subjects。 Faith! his game is not at all a
good one。 It is ill playing with him; for his sport will cause me
sorrow。 What shall I do; then? Shall I