第 6 节
作者:悟来悟去      更新:2021-02-21 14:00      字数:7085
  It shrank and drooped and faded in its barren field; and seemed
  to
  cling only by sufferance to the edge of the splendid city。
  〃This;〃 said the Keeper of the Gate; standing still and speaking
  with
  a low; distinct voice〃this is your mansion; John Weightman。〃
  An almost intolerable shock of grieved wonder and indignation
  choked the man for a moment so that he could not say a word。
  Then he turned his face away from the poor little hut
  and began to remonstrate eagerly with his companion。
  〃Surely; sir;〃 he stammered; 〃you must be in error about this。
  There is something wrongsome other John Weightmana confusion
  of namesthe book must be mistaken。〃
  〃There is no mistake;〃 said the Keeper of the Gate; very calmly;
  〃here is your name; the record of your title and your possessions
  in this place。〃
  〃But how could such a house be prepared for me;〃 cried the man;
  with a resentful tremor in his voice〃for me; after my
  long and faithful service?  Is this a suitable mansion for
  one so well known and devoted?  Why is it so pitifully small and
  mean?
  Why have you not built it large and fair; like the others?〃
  〃That is all the material you sent us。〃
  〃What!〃
  〃We have used all the material that you sent us;〃 repeated the
  Keeper of the Gate。
  〃Now I know that you are mistaken;〃 cried the man; with growing
  earnestness; 〃for all my life long I have been doing things that
  must have supplied you with material。  Have you not heard that
  I have built a school…house; the wing of a hospital; twoyes;
  threesmall churches; and the greater part of a large one;
  the spire of St。 Petro〃
  The Keeper of the Gate lifted his hand。
  〃Wait;〃 he said; 〃we know all these things。  They were not ill
  done。
  But they were all marked and used as foundation for the name and
  mansion of
  John Weightman in the world。  Did you not plan them for that?〃
  〃Yes;〃 answered the man; confused and taken aback; 〃I confess
  that
  I thought often of them in that way。  Perhaps my heart was
  set upon that too much。  But there are other thingsmy endowment
  for
  the collegemy steady and liberal contributions to all the
  established charitiesmy support of every respectable〃
  〃Wait;〃 said the Keeper of the Gate again。  〃Were not all these
  carefully recorded on earth where they would add to your credit?
  They were not foolishly done。  Verily; you have had your reward
  for them。
  Would you be paid twice?〃
  〃No;〃 cried the man; with deepening dismay; 〃I dare not claim
  that。
  I acknowledge that I considered my own interest too much。  But
  surely
  not altogether。  You have said that these things were not
  foolishly done。
  They accomplished some good in the world。  Does not that count
  for something?〃
  〃Yes;〃 answered he Keeper of the Gate; 〃it counts in the
  worldwhere you
  counted it。  But it does not belong to you here。  We have saved
  and used
  everything that you sent us。  This is the mansion prepared for
  you。〃
  As he spoke; his look grew deeper and more searching; like a
  flame of fire。
  John Weightman could not endure it。  It seemed to strip him naked
  and wither him。  He sank to the ground under a crushing weight of
  shame;
  covering his eyes with his hands and cowering face downward
  upon the stones。  Dimly through the trouble of his mind he felt
  their
  hardness and coldness。
  〃Tell me; then;〃 he cried; brokenly; 〃since my life has been so
  little worth; how came I here at all?〃
  〃Through the mercy of the King〃the answer was like the soft
  tolling of
  a bell。
  〃And how have I earned it?〃 he murmured。
  〃It is never earned; it is only given;〃 came the clear; low
  reply。
  〃But how have I failed so wretchedly;〃 he asked; 〃in all the
  purpose of
  my life?  What could I have done better?  What is it that counts
  here?〃
  〃Only that which is truly given;〃 answered the bell…like voice。
  Only that good which is done for the love of doing it。
  Only those plans in which the welfare of others is the master
  thought。
  Only those labors in which the sacrifice is greater than the
  reward。
  Only those gifts in which the giver forgets himself。〃
  The man lay silent。  A great weakness; an unspeakable despondency
  and
  humiliation were upon him。  But the face of the Keeper of the
  Gate was
  infinitely tender as he bent over him。
  〃Think again; John Weightman。  Has there been nothing like that
  in
  your life?〃
  〃Nothing;〃 he sighed。  〃If there ever were such things; it must
  have been
  long agothey were all crowded outI have forgotten them。〃
  There was an ineffable smile on the face of the Keeper of the
  Gate;
  and his hand made the sign of the cross over the bowed head as he
  spoke gently:
  〃These are the things that the King never forgets; and because
  there were a few of them in your life; you have a little place
  here。〃
  The sense of coldness and hardness under John Weightman's hands
  grew sharper and more distinct。  The feeling of bodily weariness
  and
  lassitude weighed upon him; but there was a calm; almost a
  lightness;
  in his heart as he listened to the fading vibrations of the
  silvery bell…tones。  The chimney clock on the mantel had just
  ended
  the last stroke of seven as he lifted his head from the table。
  Thin; pale strips of the city morning were falling into the room
  through
  the narrow partings of the heavy curtains。
  What was it that had happened to him?  Had he been ill?  Had he
  died and
  come to life again?  Or had he only slept; and had his soul gone
  visiting
  in dreams?  He sat for some time; motionless; not lost; but
  finding himself
  in thought。  Then he took a narrow book from the table drawer;
  wrote a check; and tore it out。
  He went slowly up the stairs; knocked very softly at his son's
  door;
  and; hearing no answer; entered without noise。  Harold was
  asleep;
  his bare arm thrown above his head; and his eager face relaxed in
  peace。
  His father looked at him a moment with strangely shining eyes;
  and then tiptoed quietly to the writing…desk; found a pencil and
  a sheet of paper; and wrote rapidly:
  〃My dear boy; here is what you asked me for; do what you like
  with it;
  and ask for more if you need it。  If you are still thinking of
  that work with Grenfell; we'll talk it over to…day after church。
  I want to know your heart better; and if I have made mistakes〃
  A slight noise made him turn his head。  Harold was sitting up in
  bed
  with wide…open eyes。
  〃Father!〃 he cried; 〃is that you?〃
  〃Yes; my son;〃 answered John Weightman; 〃I've come backI mean
  I've come upno; I mean come inwell; here I am;
  and God give us a good Christmas together。〃
  End