〃She　must　therefore　be　taught；　by　the　sternest　compulsion；　to　take
  an　interest　in　the　earth　as　the　earth。　　She　must　study　every
  department　of　its　historyits　animal　history；　its　vegetable
  history；　its　mineral　history；　its　social　history；　its　moral
  history；　its　political　history；　its　scientific　history；　its
  literary　history；　its　musical　history；　its　artistical　history；
  above　all；　its　metaphysical　history。　　She　must　begin　with　the
  Chinese　dynasty　and　end　with　Japan。　　But　first　of　all　she　must　study
  geology；　and　especially　the　history　of　the　extinct　races　of
  animals…their　natures；　their　habits；　their　loves；　their　hates；
  their　revenges。　　She　must〃
  〃Hold；　h…o…o…old！〃　roared　Hum…Drum。　　〃It　is　certainly　my　turn　now。
  My　rooted　and　insubvertible　conviction　is；　that　the　causes　of　the
  anomalies　evident　in　the　princess's　condition　are　strictly　and
  solely　physical。　　But　that　is　only　tantamount　to　acknowledging　that
  they　exist。　　Hear　my　opinion。　From　some　cause　or　other；　of　no
  importance　to　our　inquiry；　the　motion　of　her　heart　has　been
  reversed。　　That　remarkable　combination　of　the　suction　and　the
  force…pump　works　the　wrong　way…I　mean　in　the　case　of　the
  unfortunate　princess：　it　draws　in　where　it　should　force　out；　and
  forces　out　where　it　should　draw　in。　　The　offices　of　the　auricles　and
  the　ventricles　are　subverted。　　The　blood　is　sent　forth　by　the　veins；
  and　returns　by　the　arteries。　　Consequently　it　is　running　the　wrong
  way　through　all　her　corporeal　organismlungs　and　all。　　Is　it　then
  at　all　mysterious；　seeing　that　such　is　the　case；　that　on　the　other
  particular　of　gravitation　as　well；　she　should　differ　from　normal
  humanity？　　My　proposal　for　the　cure　is　this：
  〃Phlebotomize　until　she　is　reduced　to　the　last　point　of　safety。　　Let
  it　be　effected；　if　necessary；　in　a　warm　bath。　　When　she　is　reduced
  to　a　state　of　perfect　asphyxy；　apply　a　ligature　to　the　left　ankle；
  drawing　it　as　tight　as　the　bone　will　bear。　　Apply；　at　the　same
  moment；　another　of　equal　tension　around　the　right　wrist。　　By　means
  of　plates　constructed　for　the　purpose；　place　the　other　foot　and
  hand　under　the　receivers　of　two　air…pumps。　　Exhaust　the　receivers。
  Exhibit　a　pint　of　French　brandy；　and　await　the　result。〃
  〃Which　would　presently　arrive　in　the　form　of　grim　Death；〃　said
  Kopy…Keck。
  〃If　it　should；　she　would　yet　die　in　doing　our　duty；〃　retorted
  Hum…Drum。
  But　their　Majesties　had　too　much　tenderness　for　their　volatile
  offspring　to　subject　her　to　either　of　the　schemes　of　the　equally
  unscrupulous　philosophers。　　Indeed；　the　most　complete　knowledge　of
  the　laws　of　nature　would　have　been　unserviceable　in　her　case；　for
  it　was　impossible　to　classify　her。　　She　was　a　fifth　imponderable
  body；　sharing　all　the　other　properties　of　the　ponderable。
  8。　　Try　a　Drop　of　Water。
  Perhaps　the　best　thing　for　the　princess　would　have　been　to　fall　in
  love。　　But　how　a　princess　who　had　no　gravity　could　fall　into
  anything　is　a　difficultyperhaps　THE　difficulty。
  As　for　her　own　feelings　on　the　subject；　she　did　not　even　know　that
  there　was　such　a　beehive　of　honey　and　stings　to　be　fallen　into。　　But
  now　I　come　to　mention　another　curious　fact　about　her。
  The　palace　was　built　on　the　shores　of　the　loveliest　lake　in　the
  world；　and　the　princess　loved　this　lake　more　than　father　or　mother。
  The　root　of　this　preference　no　doubt；　although　the　princess　did　not
  recognise　it　as　such；　was；　that　the　moment　she　got　into　it；　she
  recovered　the　natural　right　of　which　she　had　been　so　wickedly
  deprivednamely；　gravity。　　Whether　this　was　owing　to　the　fact　that
  water　had　been　employed　as　the　means　of　conveying　the　injury；　I　do
  not　know。　　But　it　is　certain　that　she　could　swim　and　dive　like　the
  duck　that　her　old　nurse　said　she　was。　　The　manner　in　which　this
  alleviation　of　her　misfortune　was　discovered　was　as　follows。
  One　summer　evening；　during　the　carnival　of　the　country；　she　had
  been　taken　upon　the　lake　by　the　king　and　queen；　in　the　royal　barge。
  They　were　accompanied　by　many　of　the　courtiers　in　a　fleet　of　little
  boats。　　In　the　middle　of　the　lake　she　wanted　to　get　into　the　lord
  chancellor's　barge；　for　his　daughter；　who　was　a　great　favourite
  with　her；　was　in　it　with　her　father。　　Now　though　the　old　king　rarely
  condescended　to　make　light　of　his　misfortune；　yet；　Happening　on
  this　occasion　to　be　in　a　particularly　good　humour；　as　the　barges
  approached　each　other；　he　caught　up　the　princess　to　throw　her　into
  the　chancellor's　barge。　　He　lost　his　balance；　however；　and；　dropping
  into　the　bottom　of　the　barge；　lost　his　hold　of　his　daughter；　not；
  however；　before　imparting　to　her　the　downward　tendency　of　his　own
  person；　though　in　a　somewhat　different　direction；　for；　as　the　king
  fell　into　the　boat；　she　fell　into　the　water。　　With　a　burst　of
  delighted　laughter　she　disappeared　in　the　lake。　　A　cry　of　horror
  ascended　from　the　boats。　　They　had　never　seen　the　princess　go　down
  before。　　Half　the　men　were　under　water　in　a　moment；　but　they　had
  all；　one　after　another；　come　up　to　the　surface　again　for　breath；
  whentinkle；　tinkle；　babble；　and　gush！　came　the　princess's　laugh
  over　the　water　from　far　away。　　There　she　was；　swimming　like　a　swan。
  Nor　would　she　come　out　for　king　or　queen；　chancellor　or　daughter。
  She　was　perfectly　obstinate。
  But　at　the　same　time　she　seemed　more　sedate　than　usual。　　Perhaps
  that　was　because　a　great　pleasure　spoils　laughing。　　At　all　events；
  after　this；　the　passion　of　her　life　was　to　get　into　the　water；　and
  she　was　always　the　better　behaved　and　the　more　beautiful　the　more
  she　had　of　it。　　Summer　and　winter　it　was　quite　the　same；　only　she
  could　not　stay　so　long　in　the　water　when　they　had　to　break　the　ice
  to　let　her　in。　　Any　day；　from　morning　till　evening　in　summer；　she
  might　be　descrieda　streak　of　white　in　the　blue　waterlying　as
  still　as　the　shadow　of　a　cloud；　or　shooting　along　like　a　dolphin；
  disappearing；　and　coming　up　again　far　off；　just　where　one　did　not
  expect　her。　　She　would　have　been　in　the　lake　of　a　night；　too；　if　she
  could　have　had　her　way；　for　the　balcony　of　her　window　overhung　a
  deep　pool　in　it；　and　through　a　shallow　reedy　passage　she　could　have
  swum　out　into　the　wide　wet　water；　and　no　one　would　have　been　any
  the　wiser。　　Indeed；　when　she　happened　to　wake　in　the　moonlight　she
  could　hardly　resist　the　temptation。　　But　there　was　the　sad
  difficulty　of　getting　into　it。　　She　had　as　great　a　dread　of　the　air
  as　some　children　have　of　the　water。　　For　the　slightest　gust　of　wind
  would　blow　her　away；　and　a　gust　might　arise　in　the　stillest　moment。
  And　if　she　gave　herself　a　push　towards　the　water　and　just　failed　of
  reaching　it；　her　situation　would　be　dreadfully　awkward；
  irrespective　of　the　wind；　for　at　best　there　she　would　have　to
  remain；　suspended　in　her　nightgown；　till　she　was　seen　and　angled
  for　by　someone　from　the　window。
  〃Oh！　if　I　had　my　gravity；〃　thought　she；　contemplating　the　water；　〃I
  would　flash　off　this　balcony　like　a　long　white　sea…bird；　headlong
  into　the　darling　wetness。　　Heigh…ho！〃
  This　was　the　only　consideration　that　made　her　wish　to　be　like　other
  people。
  Another　reason　for　her　being　fond　of　the　water　was　that　in　it　alone
  she　enjoyed　any　freedom。　　For　she　could　not　walk　out　without　a
  cortege；　consisting　in　part　of　a　troop　of　light　horse；　for　fear　of
  the　liberties　which　the　wind　might　take　with　her。　　And　the　king　grew
  more　apprehensive　with　increasing　years；　till　at　last　he　would　not
  allow　her　to　walk　abroad　at　all　without　some　twenty　silken　cords
  fastened　to　as　many　parts　of　her　dress；　and　held　by　twenty
  noblemen。　　Of　course　horseback　was　out　of　the　question。　　But　she　bade
  good…by　to　all　this　ceremony　when　she　got　into　the　water。
  And　so　remarkable　were　its　effects　upon　her；　especially　in
  restoring　her　for　the　time　to　the　ordinary　human　gravity；　that
  Hum…Drum　and　Kopy…Keck　agreed　in　recommending　the　king　to　bury　her
  alive　for　three　years；　in　the　hope　that；　as　the　water　did　her　so
  much　good；　the　earth　would　do　her　yet　more。　　But　the　king　had　some
  vulgar　prejudices　against　the　experiment；　and　would　not　give　his
  consent。　　Foiled　in　this；　they　yet　agreed　in　another　recommendation；
  which；　seeing　that　one　imported　his　opinions　from　China　and　the
  other　from　Thibet；　was　very　remarkable　indeed。　　They　argued　that；　if
  water　of　external　origin　and　application　could　be　so　efficacious；
  water　from　a　deeper　source　might　work　a　perfect　cure；　in　short；
  that　if　the　poor　afflicted　princess　could　by　any　means　be　made　to
  cry；　she　might　recover　her　lost　gravity。
  But　how　was　this　to　be　brought　about？　　Therein　lay　all　the
  difficultyto　meet　which　the　philosophers　were　not　wise　enough。　　To
  make　the　princess　cry　was　as　impossible　as　to　make　her　weigh。　　They
  sent　for　a　professional　beggar；　commanded　him　to　prepare　his　most
  touching　oracle　of　woe；　helped　him　out　of　the　court　charade　box；　to
  whatever　he　wanted　for　dressing　up；　and　promised　great　rewards　in
  the　event　of　his　success。　　But　it　was　all　in　va