第 34 节
作者:
大热 更新:2021-02-21 13:54 字数:9322
Left to herself; and the imposing propriety and magnificent stupidity of Miss Grierson; Maggie made no attempt to keep up her appearance of confidence。 All her thoughts were upon this opportunity which insisted upon looking to her like a menace。 She tried to whip her self… confidence; of which she was so proud; into a condition of constant regnancy。 But the plain fact was that Maggie; the misguided child of a stolen birthright; whose soaring spirit was striving so hard to live up to the traditions and conventions of cynicism; whose young ambition it was to outshine and surpass all possible competitors in this world in which she had been placed; who in her pride believed she knew so much of lifethe plain fact was that Maggie was in a state bordering on funk。
This invitation from Miss Sherwood was an ordeal she had never counted on。 She had watched the fine ladies at the millinery shop and while selling cigarettes at the Ritzmore; when she had been modeling her manners; and had believed herself just as fine a lady as they。 But that had been in the abstract。 Now she was face to face with a situation that was painfully concretea real test: she had to place herself into close contrast with; and under the close observation of; a real lady; and in that lady's own home。 And in all her life she had not once been in a fine home! In fine hotels; yesbut fine hotels were the common refuge of butcher; baker; floor…walker; thief; swell; and each had approximately the same attention; and all she now felt she had really learned were a few such matters as the use of table silver and finger bowls。
It came to her that Barney; in his moment of doubt; had spoken more soundly than he had imagined when he had said that it was easier to fool a man about a woman than it was to fool a woman。 How tragically true that was! While trying to learn to be a lady by working in smart shops; she had learned that the occasional man who had ventured in after woman's gear was hopelessly ignorant and bought whatever was skillfully thrust upon him; but that it was impossible to slip an inferior or unsuitable or out…dated article over on the woman who really knew。
And Miss Sherwood was the kind of woman who really knew! Who knew everything。 Could she possibly; possibly pass herself off on Miss Sherwood as the genuine article? 。 。 。
Could Larry have foreseen the very real miseryfor any doubt of her own qualities; any fear of her ability to carry herself well in any situation; are among the most acute of a proud woman's miserieswhich for some twenty…four hours was brought upon Maggie by the well…meant intrigue of which he was pulling the hidden strings; he might; because of his love for Maggie; have discarded his design even while he was creating it; and have sought a measure pregnant with less distress。 But perhaps it was just as well that Larry did not know。 Perhaps; even; it was just as well that he did not know what his grandmother knew。
Maggie's pride would not let her evade the risk; and her instinct for self…preservation dictated that she should reduce the risk to its minimum。 So she wrote her acceptanceMiss Grierson attended to the phrasing of her notebut expressed her regret that she would be able to come only for the tea…hour。 Drinking tea must be much the same; reasoned Maggie; whether it be drunk in a smart hotel or in a smart country home。
Maggie's native shrewdness suggested her simplest summer gown as likely to have committed the fewest errors; and the invaluable stupidity of Miss Grierson aided her toward correctness if not originality。 When Dick came he was delighted with her appearance。 On the way out he was ebulliently excited in his talk。 Maggie averaged a fair degree of sensibility in her responses; though only her ears heard him。 She was far more excited than he; and every moment her excitement mounted; for every moment she was speeding nearer the greatest ordeal of her life。
When at length they curved through the lawns of satin smoothness and Dick slowed down the car before the long white house; splendid in its simplicity; Maggie's excitement had added unto it a palpitant; chilling awe。 And unto this was added consternation when; as they mounted the steps; Miss Sherwood smilingly crossed the piazza and welcomed her without waiting for an introduction。 Maggie mumbled some reply; she later could not remember what it was。 Indeed she never had met such a woman: so finished; so gracious; so unaffected; with a sparkle of humor in her brown eyes; and the rich plainness of her white linen frock made Maggie conscious that her own supposed simplicity was cheap and ostentatious。 If Miss Sherwood had received her with hostility; doubt; or even chilled civility; the situation would have been easier; the aroused Maggie would then have made use of her own great endowment of hauteur and self…esteem。 But to be received with this frank cordiality; on a basis of a equality with this finished womanthat left Maggie for the moment without arms。 She had; in her high moments; believed herself an adventuress whose poise and plans nothing could unbalance。 Now she found herself suddenly just a young girl of eighteen who didn't know what to do。
Had Maggie but known it that sudden unconscious confusion; which seemed to betray her; was really more effective for her purpose than would have been the best of conscious acting。 It established her at once as an unstagey ingenuesimple; unspoiled; unacquainted with the formulas and formalities of the world。
Miss Sherwood; in her easy possession of the situation; banished Dick with 〃Run away for a while; Dick; and give us two women a chance to get acquainted。〃 She had caught Maggie's embarrassment; and led her to a corner of the veranda which looked down upon the gardens and the glistering Sound。 She spoke of the impersonal beauties spread before their vision; until she judged that Maggie's first flutter had abated; then she led the way to wicker chairs beside a table where obviously tea was to be spread。
Miss Sherwood accepted Maggie for exactly what she seemed to be; and presently she was saying in a low voice; with her smiling; unoffending directness:
〃Excuse the liberty of an older woman; Miss Cameronbut I don't wonder that Dick likes you。 You see; he's told me。〃
If Maggie had been at loss for her cue before; she had it now。 It was unpretentiousness。
〃But; Miss SherwoodI'm so crude;〃 she faltered; acting her best。 〃Out West I never had any chances to learn。 Not any chances like your Eastern girls。〃
〃That's no difference; my dear。 You are a nice; simple girlthat's what counts!〃
〃Thank you;〃 said Maggie。
〃So few of our rich girls of the East know what it is to be simple;〃 continued Miss Sherwood。 〃Too many are all affectation; and pose; and forwardness。 At twenty they know all there is to be known; they are blaseescynicalready for divorce before they are ready for marriage。 By contrast you are so wholesome; so refreshing。〃
〃Thank you;〃 Maggie again murmured。
And as the two women sat there; sprung from the extremes of life; but for the moment on the level of equals; and as the older talked on; there grew up in Maggie two violently contradictory emotions。 One was triumph。 She had won out here; just as she had said she would win out; and won out with what Barney had declared to be the most difficult person to get the better of; a finished woman of the world。 Indeed; that was triumph!
The other emotion she did not understand so well。 And just then she could not analyze it。 It was an unexpected dismaya vague but permeating sicknessa dazed sense that she was being carried by unfamiliar forces toward she knew not what。
She held fast to her sense of triumph。 That was the more apprehendable and positive; triumph was what she had set forth to win。 This sense of triumph was at its highest; and she was resting in its elating security; when a car stopped before the house and a large man got out and started up the steps。 From the first moment there was something familiar to Maggie in his carriage; but not till Miss Sherwood; who had risen and crossed toward him; greeted him as 〃Mr。 Hunt;〃 did Maggie recognize the well…dressed visitor as the shabby; boisterous painter whom she had last seen down at the Duchess's。
Panic seized upon her。 Miss Sherwood was leading him toward where she sat and his first clear sight of her would mean the end。 There was no possible escape; she could only await her fate。 And when she was denounced as a fraud; and her glittering victory was gone; she could only take herself away with as much of the defiance of admitted defeat as she could assumeand that wouldn't be much。
She gazed up at Hunt; whitely; awaiting extermination。 Miss Sherwood's voice came to her from an infinite distance; introducing them。 Hunt bowed; with a formally polite smile; and said formally; 〃I'm very glad to meet you; Miss Cameron。〃
Not till he and Miss Sherwood were seated and chatting did Maggie realize the fullness of the astounding fact that he had not recognized her。 This was far more upsetting to her than would have been recognition and exposure; she had been all braced for that; but not for what had actually happened。 She was certain he must have known her; nothing had really changed abo