第 30 节
作者:打倒一切      更新:2021-02-21 13:16      字数:9322
  ces; could treat his pupils as he saw fit。  She became an extravagant admirer of him as a teacher; thought him a genius; felt confident that he would make a great singer of her。  With the second lesson she began to progress rapidly。  In a few weeks she amazed herself。  At last she was really singing。 Not in a great way; but in the beginnings of a great way。  Her voice had many times the power of her drawing…room days。  Her notes were full and round; and came without an effort。  Her former ideas of what constituted facial and vocal expression now seemed ridiculous to her。  She was now singing without making those dreadful faces which she had once thought charming and necessary。  Her lower register; always her best; was almost perfect。  Her middle registerthe test part of a voicewas showing signs of strength and steadiness and evenness。  And she was fast getting a real upper register; as distinguished from the forced and shrieky high notes that pass as an upper register with most singers; even opera singers。  After a month of this marvelous forward march; she sang for Mrs。 Brindleysang the same song she had essayed at their first meeting。  When she finished; Mrs。 Brindley said:
  ‘‘Yes; you've done wonders。  I've been noticing your improvement as you practiced。  You certainly have a very different voice and method from those you had a month ago;'' and so on through about five minutes of critical and discriminating praise。
  Mildred listened; wondering why her dissatisfaction; her irritation; increased as Mrs。 Brindley praised on and on。  Beyond question Cyrilla was sincere; and was saying even more than Mildred had hoped she would say。  Yet  Mildred sat moodily measuring off octaves on the keyboard of the piano。  If she had been looking at her friend's face she would have flared out in anger; for Cyrilla Brindley was taking advantage of her abstraction to observe her with friendly sympathy and sadness。  Presently she concealed this candid expression and said:
  ‘‘You are satisfied with your progress; aren't you; Miss Stevens?''
  Mildred flared up angrily。  ‘‘Certainly!'' replied she。  ‘‘How could I fail to be?''
  Mrs。 Brindley did not answerperhaps because she thought no answer was needed or expected。  But to Mildred her silence somehow seemed a denial。
  ‘‘If you can only keep what you've gotand go on;'' said Mrs。 Brindley。
  ‘‘Oh; I shall; never fear;'' retorted Mildred。
  ‘‘But I do fear;'' said Mrs。 Brindley。  ‘‘I think it's always well to fear until success is actually won。  And then there's the awful fear of not being able to hold it。''
  After a moment's silence Mildred; who could not hide away resentment against one she liked; said:  ‘‘Why aren't YOU satisfied; Mrs。 Brindley?''
  ‘‘But I am satisfied;'' protested Cyrilla。  ‘‘Only it makes me afraid to see YOU so well satisfied。  I've seen that often in people first starting; and it's always dangerous。  You see; my dear; you've got a straight…away hundred miles to walk。  Can't you see that it would be possible for you to become too much elated by the way you walked the first part of the first mile?''
  ‘‘Why do you try to discourage me?'' said Mildred。
  Mrs。 Brindley colored。  ‘‘I do it because I want to save you from despair a little later;'' said she。  ‘‘But that is foolish of me。  I shall only irritate you against me。  I'll not do it again。  And please don't ask my opinion。  If you do; I can't help showing exactly what I think。''
  ‘‘Then you don't think I've done well?'' cried Mildred。
  ‘‘Indeed you have;'' replied Cyrilla warmly。
  ‘‘Then I don't understand。  What DO you mean?''
  ‘‘I'll tell you; and then I'll stop and you must not ask my opinion again。  We live too close together to be able to afford to criticize each other。  What I meant was this:  You have done well the first part of the great task that's before you。  If you had done it any less well; it would have been folly for you to go on。''
  ‘‘That is; what I've done doesn't amount to anything?  Mr。 Jennings doesn't agree with you。''
  ‘‘Doubtless he's right;'' said Mrs。 Brindley。  ‘‘At any rate; we all agree that you have shown that you have a voice。''
  She said this so simply and heartily that Mildred could not but be mollified。  Mrs。 Brindley changed the subject to the song Mildred had sung; and Mildred stopped puzzling over the mystery of what she had meant by her apparently enthusiastic words; which had yet diffused a chill atmosphere of doubt。
  She was doing her scales so well that she became impatient of such ‘‘tiresome child's play。''  And presently Jennings gave her songs; and did not discourage her when she talked of roles; of getting seriously at what; after all; she intended to do。  Then there came a week of vile weather; and Mildred caught a cold。  She neglected it。  Her voice left her。  Her tonsils swelled。 She had a bad attack of ulcerated sore throat。  For nearly three weeks she could not take a single one of the lessons; which were; nevertheless; paid for。  Jennings rebuked her sharply。
  ‘‘A singer has no right to be sick;'' said he。
  ‘‘You have a cold yourself;'' retorted she。
  ‘‘But I am not a singer。  I've nothing that interferes with my work。''
  ‘‘It's impossible not to take cold;'' said Mildred。 ‘‘You are unreasonable with me。''
  He shrugged his shoulders。  ‘‘Go get well;'' he said。
  The sore throat finally yielded to the treatment of Dr。 Hicks; the throat…specialist。  His bill was seventy… five dollars。  But while the swelling in the tonsils subsided it did not depart。  She could take lessons again。 Some days she sang as well as ever; and on those days Jennings was charming。  Other days she sang atrociously; and Jennings treated her as if she were doing it deliberately。  A third and worse state was that of the days when she in the same half…hour alternately sang well and badly。  On those days Jennings acted like a lunatic。  He raved up and down the studio; all but swearing at her。  At first she was afraid of him withered under his scorn; feared he would throw open his door and order her out and forbid her ever to enter again。  But gradually she came to understand him not enough to lose her fear of him altogether; but enough to lose the fear of his giving up so profitable a pupil。
  The truth was that Jennings; like every man who succeeds at anything in this world; operated upon a system to which he rigidly adhered。  He was a man of small talent and knowledge; but of great; persistence and not a little common sense。  He had tried to be a singer; had failed because his voice was small and unreliable。  He had adopted teaching singing as a means of getting a living。  He had learned just enough about it to enable him to teach the technical elementswhat is set down in the books。  By observing other and older teachers he had got together a teaching system that was as goodand as badas any; and this he dubbed the Jennings Method and proceeded to exploit as the only one worth while。  When that method was worked out and perfected; he ceased learning; ceased to give a thought to the professional side of his profession; just as most professional men do。  He would have resented a suggestion or a new idea as an attack upon the Jennings Method。  The overwhelming majority of the human raceindeed; all but a small handfulhave this passion for stagnation; this ferocity against change。 It is in large part due to laziness; for a new idea means work in learning it and in unlearning the old ideas that have been true until the unwelcome advent of the new。  In part also this resistance to the new idea arises from a fear that the new idea; if tolerated; will put one out of business; will set him adrift without any means of support。  The coachman hates the automobile; the hand…worker hates the machine; the orthodox preacher hates the heretic; the politician hates the reformer; the doctor hates the bacteriologist and the chemist; the old woman hates the newall these in varying proportions according to the degree in which the iconoclast attacks laziness or livelihood。  Finally we all hate any and all new ideas because they seem to imply that we; who have held the old ideas; have been ignorant and stupid in so doing。  A new idea is an attack upon the vanity of everyone who has been a partisan of the old ideas and their established order。
  Jennings; thoroughly human in thus closing his mind to all ideas about his profession; was equally human in that he had his mind and his senses opened full width to ideas on how to make more money。  If there had been money in new ideas about teaching singing Jennings would not have closed to them。  But the money was all in studying and learning how better to handle the womenthey were all women who came to him for instruction。  His common sense warned him at the outset that the obviously easygoing teacher would not long retain his pupils。  On the other hand; he saw that the really severe teacher would not retain his pupils; either。
  Who were these pupils?  In the first place; they were all ignorant; for people who already know do not go to school to learn。  They had the universal delusion that a teacher can teach。  The fact is that a teacher is a well。  Some wells are full; others almost dry。  Some are so arranged that water cannot be got from them; o