ke
  flying。
  I　knew　that　this　was　the　stupidest；　most　reckless　thing　I　had　done　yet。　The　thought　made　me　smile。　The
  pain　was　already　easing；　as　if　my　body　knew　that　Edward's　voice　was　just　seconds　away…
  The　ocean　sounded　very　far　away；　somehow　farther　than　before；　when　I　was　on　the　path　in　the　trees。　I
  grimaced　when　I　thought　of　the　probable　temperature　of　the　water。　But　I　wasn't　going　to　let　that　stop　me。
  The　wind　blew　stronger　now；　whipping　the　rain　into　eddies　around　me。
  I　stepped　out　to　the　edge；　keeping　my　eyes　on　the　empty　space　in　front　of　me。　My　toes　felt　ahead　blindly；
  caressing　the　edge　of　the　rock　when　they　encountered　it。　I　drew　in　a　deep　breath　and　held　it　。　。　waiting。
  〃Bella。〃
  I　smiled　and　exhaled。
  Yes？　I　didn't　answer　out　loud；　for　fear　that　the　sound　of　my　voice　would　shatter　the　beautiful　illusion。　He
  sounded　so　real；　so　close。　It　was　only　when　lie　was　disapproving　like　this　that　I　could　hear　the　true
  memory　of　his　voice—the　velvet　texture　and　the　musical　intonation　that　made　up　the　most　perfect　of　all
  voices。
  〃Don't　do　this；〃　he　pleaded。
  You　wanted　me　to　be　human；　I　reminded　him。　Well；　watch　me。
  〃Please。　For　me。〃
  But　you　won't　stay　with　me　any　other　way。
  〃Please。〃　It　was　just　a　whisper　in　the　blowing　rain　that　tossed　my　hair　and　drenched　my　clothes—making
  me　as　wet　as　if　this　were　my　second　jump　of　the　day。
  I　rolled　up　onto　the　balls　of　my　feet。
  〃No；　Bella！〃　He　was　angry　now；　and　the　anger　was　so　lovely。
  I　smiled　and　raised　my　arms　straight　out；　as　if　I　were　going　to　dive；　lifting　my　face　into　the　rain。　But　it　was
  too　ingrained　from　years　of　swimming　at　the　public　pool—feet　first；　first　time。　I　leaned　forward；　crouching
  to　get　more　spring…
  And　I　flung　myself　off　the　cliff。
  I　screamed　as　I　dropped　through　the　open　air　like　a　meteor；　but　it　was　a　scream　of　exhilaration　and　not
  fear。　The　wind　resisted；　trying　vainly　to　fight　the　unconquerable　gravity；　pushing　against　me　and　twirling
  me　in　spirals　like　a　rocket　crashing　to　the　earth。
  Yes！　The　word　echoed　through　my　head　as　I　sliced　through　the　surface　of　the　water。　It　was　icy；　colder
  than　I'd　feared；　and　yet　the　chill　only　added　to　the　high。
  I　was　proud　of　myself　as　I　plunged　deeper　into　the　freezing　black　water。　I　hadn't　had　one　moment　of
  terror—just　pure　adrenaline。　Really；　the　fall　wasn't　scary　at　all。　Where　was　the　challenge？
  That　was　when　the　current　caught　me。
  I'd　been　so　preoccupied　by　the　size　of　the　cliffs；　by　the　obvious　danger　of　their　high；　sheer　faces；　that　I
  hadn't　worried　at　all　about　the　dark　water　waiting。　I　never　dreamed　that　the　true　menace　was　lurking　far
  below　me；　under　the　heaving　surf。
  It　felt　like　the　waves　were　fighting　over　me；　jerking　me　back　and　forth　between　them　as　if　determined　to
  share　by　pulling　me　into　halves。　I　knew　the　right　way　to　avoid　a　riptide：　swim　parallel　to　the　beach　rather
  than　struggling　for　the　shore。　But　the　knowledge　did　me　little　good　when　I　didn't　know　which　way　the
  shore　was。
  I　couldn't　even　tell　which　way　the　surface　was。
  The　angry　water　was　black　in　every　direction；　there　was　no　brightness　to　direct　me　upward。　Gravity　was
  all…powerful　when　it　competed　with　the　air；　but　it　had　nothing　on　the　waves—I　couldn't　feel　a　downward
  pull；　a　sinking　in　any　direction。　Just　the　battering　of　the　current　that　flung　me　round　and　round　like　a　rag
  doll。
  I　fought　to　keep　my　breath　in；　to　keep　my　lips　locked　around　my　last　store　of　oxygen。
  It　didn't　surprise　me　that　my　delusion　of　Edward　was　there。　He　owed　me　that　much；　considering　that　I
  was　dying。　I　was　surprised　by　how　sure　that　knowledge　was。　I　was　going　to　drown。　I　was　drowning。
  〃Keep　swimming！〃　Edward　begged　urgently　in　my　head。
  Where？　There　was　nothing　but　the　darkness。　There　was　no　place　to　swim　to。
  〃Stop　that！〃　he　ordered。　〃Don't　you　dare　give　up！〃
  The　cold　of　the　water　was　numbing　my　arms　and　legs。　I　didn't　feel　the　buffeting　so　much　as　before。　It　was
  more　of　just　a　dizziness　now；　a　helpless　spinning　in　the　water。
  But　I　listened　to　him。　I　forced　my　arms　to　continue　reaching；　my　legs　to　kick　harder；　though　every　second
  I　was　facing　a　new　direction。　It　couldn't　be　doing　any　good。　What　was　the　point？
  〃Fight！〃　he　yelled。　〃Damn　it；　Bella；　keep　fighting。〃
  Why？
  I　didn't　want　to　fight　anymore。　And　it　wasn't　the　light…headedness；　or　the　cold；　or　the　failure　of　my　arms
  as　the　muscles　gave　out　in　exhaustion；　that　made　me　content　to　stay　where　I　was。　I　was　almost　happy
  that　it　was　over。　This　was　an　easier　death　than　others　I'd　faced。　Oddly　peaceful。
  I　thought　briefly　of　the　clichés；　about　how　you　were　suppose　to　see　your　life　flash　before　your　eyes。　I　was
  so　much　luckier。　Who　wanted　to　see　a　rerun；　anyway？
  I　saw　him；　and　I　had　no　will　to　fight。　It　was　so　clear；　so　much　more　defined　than　any　memory。　My
  subconscious　had　stored　Edward　away　in　flawless　detail；　saving　him　for　this　final　moment。　I　could　see　his
  perfect　face　as　if　he　were　really　there；　the　exact　shade　of　his　icy　skin；　the　shape　of　his　lips；　the　line　of　his
  jaw；　the　gold　glinting　in　his　furious　eyes。　He　was　angry；　naturally；　that　I　was　giving　up。　His　teeth　were
  clenched　and　his　nostrils　flared　with　rage。
  〃No！　Bella；　no！〃
  My　ears　were　flooded　with　the　freezing　water；　but　his　voice　was　clearer　than　ever。　I　ignored　his　words
  and　concentrated　on　the　sound　of　his　voice。　Why　would　I　fight　when　I　was　so　happy　where　I　was？　Even
  as　my　lungs　burned　for　more　air　and　my　legs　cramped　in　the　icy　cold；　I　was　content。　I'd　forgotten　what
  real　happiness　felt　like。
  Happiness。　It　made　the　whole　dying　thing　pretty　bearable。
  The　current　won　at　that　moment；　shoving　me　abruptly　against　something　hard；　a　rock　invisible　in　the
  gloom。　It　hit　me　solidly　across　the　chest；　slamming　into　me　like　an　iron　bar；　and　the　breath　whooshed　out
  of　my　lungs；　escaping　in　a　thick　cloud　of　silver　bubbles。　Water　flooded　down　my　throat；　choking　and
  burning。　The　iron　bar　seemed　to　be　dragging　me；　pulling　me　away　from　Edward；　deeper　into　the　dark；　to
  the　ocean　floor。
  Goodbye；　I　love　you；　was　my　last　thought。
  16。　PARIS
  AT　THAT　MOMENT；　MY　HEAD　BROKE　THE　SURFACE。
  How　disorienting。　I'd　been　sure　I　was　sinking。
  The　current　wouldn't　let　up。　It　was　slamming　me　against　more　rocks；　they　beat　against　the　center　of　my
  back　sharply；　rhythmically；　pushing　the　water　from　my　lungs。　It　gushed　out　in　amazing　volume；　absolute
  torrents　pouring　from　my　mouth　and　nose。　The　salt　burned　and　my　lungs　burned　and　my　throat　was　too
  full　of　water　to　catch　a　breath　and　the　rocks　were　hurting　my　back。　Somehow　I　stayed　in　one　place；
  though　the　waves　still　heaved　around　me。　I　couldn't　see　anything　but　water　everywhere；　reaching　for　my
  face。
  〃Breathe！〃　a　voice；　wild　with　anxiety；　ordered；　and　I　felt　a　cruel　stab　of　pain　wher　I　recognized　the
  voice—because　it　wasn't　Edward's。
  I　could　not　obey。　The　waterfall　pouring　from　my　mouth　didn't　stop　long　enough　for　me　to　catch　a　breath。
  The　black；　icy　water　filled　my　chest；　burning。
  The　rock　smacked　into　my　back　again；　right　between　my　shoulder　blades；　and　another　volley　of　water
  choked　its　way　out　of　my　lungs。
  〃Breathe；　Bella！　C'mon！〃　Jacob　begged。
  Black　spots　bloomed　across　my　vision；　getting　wider　and　wider；　blocking　out　the　light。
  The　rock　struck　me　again。
  The　rock　wasn't　cold　like　the　water；　it　was　hot　on　my　skin。　I　realized　it　was　Jacob's　hand；　trying　to　beat
  the　water　from　my　lungs。　The　iron　bar　that　had　dragged　me　from　the　sea　was　also…　warm…　My　head
  whirled；　the　black　spots　covered　everything…
  Was　I　dying　again；　then？　I　didn't　like　it—this　wasn't　as　good　as　the　last　time。　It　was　only　dark　now；
  nothing　worth　looking　at　here。　The　sound　of　the　crashing　waves　faded　into　the　black　and　became　a　quiet；
  even　whoosh　that　sounded　like　it　was　coming　from　the　inside　of　my　ears…
  〃Bella？〃　Jacob　asked；　his　voice　still　tense；　but　not　as　wild　as　before。　〃Bells；　honey；　can　you　hear　me？〃
  The　contents　of　my　head　swished　and　rolled　sickeningly；　like　they'd　joined　the　rough　water…
  〃How　long　has　she　been　unconscious？〃　someone　else　asked。
  The　voice　that　was　not　Jacob's　shocked　me；　jarred　me　into　a　more　focused　awareness。
  I　realized　that　I　was　still。　There　was　no　tug　of　the　current　on　me—the　heaving　was　inside　my　head。　The
  surface　under　me　was　flat　and　motionless。　It　felt　grainy　against　my　bare　arms。
  〃I　don't　know；〃　Jacob　reported；　still　frantic。　His　voice　was　very　close。　Hands—so　warm　they　had　to　be
  his—brushed　wet　hair　from　my　cheeks。　〃A　few　minutes？　It　didn't　take　long　to　tow　her　to　the　beach。〃
  The　quiet　whooshing　inside　my　ears　was　not　the　waves—it　was　the　air　moving　in　and　out　of　my　lungs
  again。　Each　breath　burned—the　passageways　were　as　raw　as　if　I'd　scrubbed　them　out　with　steel　wool。
  But　I　was　breathing。
  And　I　was　freezing。　A　thousand　sharp；　icy　beads　were　striking　my　face　and　arms；　making　the　cold　worse。
  〃She's　breathing。　She'll　come　around。　We　should　get　her　out　of　the　cold；　though。　I　don't　like　the　color
  she's　turning…〃　I　recognized　Sam's　voice　this　time。
  〃You　think　it's　okay　to　move　her？〃